So what do you do? I work for the church where everything goes wrong

I spent a little time at the recent annual meetings talking with many of the new ministers and student ministers. They are a great bunch by the way. In fact, in many ways, I think it is my favourite aspect of annual meetings each year, getting to know these talented and interesting people. I spent quite a bit of the time talking to and getting to know Peter Flower who will be joining both of the congregations I serve for a year, from September, as part of his ministerial training. He is an interesting man, he has a quiet depth about him. He was the primary musician of the week and is certainly gifted. As we were talking, he asked me about the congregations. So, I told him a little about the places and the people. I talked about our warmth and heart, that we have a humour, but we are far from perfect. In fact, I said we were a bit like the church that the minister served in the piece “The Church Where Everything Goes Wrong” by Elea Kemler. I referenced the final paragraph, that goes as follows.

“But I also imagine a God who is touched and a little honored by our efforts, however halting, to worship and give praise. I imagine a God who is moved by our attempts to care for one another and to name the things we know as holy. There is a warmth in this congregation that is new to me, a simple friendliness that shines through the fumblings and failures, a love that makes the ragged edges smooth. I have always wanted to believe that our mistakes aren't the most important parts of us. I have always wanted to believe that kindness and compassion matter more than anything. I sense that I can learn this here.”

This is spirituality in community to me, “The Church Where everything Goes Wrong”

It was lovely the next morning to see Peter lead worship and to share the piece “The Church Where Everything Goes Wrong” by Elea Kemler. Peter has a lovely and touching way about him, there is a warmth and quiet depth too. He is not showy, but he pays attention. No doubt there will be moments where things go wrong in our time together, there will be laughter, but I also witnessed compassion and kindness and this is what matters most in ministry and life. It is certainly what church ought to be about.

Now it seems I was obviously tempting fate, to bring up this piece, as I witnessed an example of “The Church Where Everything Goes Wrong” over Easter weekend. One element I loved was the fact that it involved both congregations. It began on Saturday at the rehearsal of Melissa and Graeme’s wedding. Everything was organised to precisions. Melissa’s friends and bridesmaids were making sure everything was perfectly in place. There was a problem though. Melissa’s mum Penny was not there for the rehearsal, as she was at the dentist trying to get the cap of her tooth replaced. We rehearsed the wedding to the word, including how the couple would proceed in, with Derek walking his daughter down the aisle. It was choreographed to precision, you would expect nothing less from dancers. The bride and some of the brides maids were dancers. We even planned which side Derek would walk, due to his walking stick, we had to break with tradition. Everything was in its place. How could anything go wrong.

I went off on Easter morning to lead worship at Urmston, no Derek of course as he was preparing for the wedding, the family were ensuring nothing went wrong. I then headed to Altrincham to lead the service, which would be followed an hour later by the wedding. People began to arrive early, just as the Easter service ended. I suggested they join the congregation for refreshments. They did creating a beautiful atmosphere around the place in the Easter sunshine. All was going well and then the hoodoo struck, “The Church Where Everything Goes Wrong”. Derek had forgotten his walking stick. What to do. He couldn’t walk his daughter down the aisle without it. So, we searched around. Gwyneth, the chair of the Altrincham congregation shot off home, as she thought she had one. She didn’t. Someone found a branch broken off from a tree, just in case there was nothing else. I found a large umbrella. Someone thought they might have a spare one in their car. Sadly, they didn’t. As more guests arrived, we asked the bizarre question “Do you have a walking stick”. Well one thought he did, in fact it was one that had been up the Himalaya’s. This seemed like a good omen. So off he went to fetch it. He returned just in time, so all was well. Ken the retired Vicar saved the day. No doubt he knows something about “The Church Where Everything Goes Wrong”

The service went beautifully well, so much love was shared. Folk coming together to help one another in joyous celebration. A tooth even arrived at the reception, sent via Amazon. This was soon fitted and Penny was able to enjoy the afternoon and evening. So much kindness, love and compassion shared by all. Afterall this is what really matters, such a beautiful example of “The Church Where Everything Goes Wrong”

I am the minister who serves “The Church Where Everything Goes Wrong”, I think it suits who I am. I am not in any sense orthodox. I remember early in my time with the good folk of Altrincham and Urmston a congregant saying that I was unlike any minister they had met before. I also remember Bill Darlison saying in response to this “Danny you are unlike any minister that anyone has met before.” It was meant as a compliment, I think! I have my shortcomings, as well as my capabilities. I do think I exemplify kindness, love and compassion though, most of the time. I give all that have and from my sometimes wounded heart. I see examples of this amongst the crop of new ministers and I certainly see it in Peter. He will be his own man, of this I am certain. It is the only way to minister, you cannot create the perfect AI minister. Well, I hope to God you cannot.

Now I know I’m not your typical minister, I’m not sure I’m your typical anything, I’m not sure I’d want to be in any case. People who don’t know me are often surprised when they discover what I do. I was asked by someone recently and a few weeks later they confessed to being shocked at first.

This of course brings to mind another question that I’m often asked...

“So as a minister what do you?” Or sometimes, “what do you the rest of the week?” I’m sure it is something most folk wonder about from time to time. I’m also asked how is it going, the job I mean? Again, this is hard to answer. My usual response is “Well they haven’t chased me out of town yet.” Which is quickly followed by, “I am loved, they love me.” In fact, it is one of the few things of certainty I have in life, that I am loved.

It brought to mind a series of answers given by 5 olds when asked what the minister does, by Bruce T Marshall. The children gave some great responses and I do love his final concluding words

“The minister talks to people when there are problems because it’s better to talk about problems than to hit each other.” What an elegant statement to come from a five year old, to come from anybody.

I’ll let that statement stand. Couldn’t have said it better myself.”

I do believe that it points to what the role of a minister is or what is means to minister. Now of course etymologically speaking to minister is to serve and to serve is to love in its truest sense. Now the love I am talking of here is agape love, self giving love, love without prejudice. Which I believe is perfectly exemplified in these words from Matthew’s Gospel chapter ch 5 vv 48 “Therefore be the perfect, like your father in heaven is perfect”. This is the love that is the root on which ministry must grow. Perfect love is love without prejudice, love for all regardless of where a person has been, who they are, where they are from, what they may or may not have done in the past. This is the love that is expressed in the prodigal son parable. To me this is the essence of love and service; this is the essence of ministry. It is the purpose of my role and it is the purpose of the communities I serve. This I believe is the spirit that must run through all that I do and all that the communities do. Now of course I fall short of this and our community of people fall short of this, but we do aspire, we aim at this and accept that it is ok to fall short. It’s ok! It is also ok to laugh when things go wrong, as we did on Sunday afternoon.

No one can get everything right. I need to remember that, and we need to remember that. Like Elea Kemler I can get frustrated at things not working out they way I would like them too, I am sure we all do. That said just like in “The Church Where Everything Goes Wrong” I too want to believe that kindness and compassion are what matter the most, to me this is what service and love are all about. This is my hope and dream, to model this Love.

The Unitarian tradition emphasises not only the priesthood, but also the prophet hood of all believers. I am not the only minister in the congregations; we minister as a community of individuals not only to ourselves, but also to our wider community. We offer love and service to all. We welcome all, to come as they are exactly as they are, but not to expect to leave in exactly the same condition; to be transformed in a loving and accepting way when they leave this place and to carry that out into their world.

To minister is to be a guest if only for a short while in the life of another human being. This begins by being both a good host and guest.

Religion for me, or at least the free religion that we aspire to be is about love and service. It’s about walking with people in their despair and their hope, in their suffering and their bliss and all that lies in between. It’s about accepting them as they are in all that they are. This is love in its truest sense. It’s about offering perfect love and making that love manifest in all that we feel, all that we think, all that we say and all that we do.

So, in answer to the question, what do I do? Well, I minister to “The Church Where Everything Goes Wrong”. A place where kindness, love and compassion matter most. A place of acceptance of the perfectly imperfect in this world, who aspire to offer perfect Love, a Love without prejudice. A place where anyone may feel they belong. A place where we are unafraid to laugh at ourselves and one another, where we take what we do seriously, but not ourselves too seriously. I give thanks for all who come and join with me, to sing with.

Come sing a song with me, come sing a song with me, come sing a song with me. That I might know your mind. And I’ll being you hope, when hope is hard to find and I’ll bring a song of love and a rose in the winter time.

Thank you for joining with me.

This is “The Church Where Everything Goes Wrong”, Welcome!

Please find below a video devotion based on the material in this "Blogspot"

We believe in human kindness

I remember an old Unitarian once telling me that the essence of her faith was to be found in the hymn “We believe in human kindness”; this was her faith, the one she was born into, grew up with, attempted to live by and hopefully will die with. “We believe in human kindness” she said with smile and twinkle in her eye.

Now for some folk this sounds a little folksy, not really carrying any depth and weight and intellectual rigour. In fact, there are those in the world who no doubt deride such feelings. I have heard folk mocked for their belief in it; I have heard others claim that it is not much of a foundation on which to build a faith. The more cynical and critical may also claim that there is no such thing as human kindness. Rutger Bregman’s “Humankind” was much derided when it was published two years ago. Well, I for one found it inspirational, it certainly helped me get through the first lockdown. By the way Bregman isn’t suggesting that this is all we are, or are capable of being, it is just a critique of the view that we are selfish and brutal by nature.

I have witnessed a great deal of kindness in recent weeks. A lovely example happened just the other day. A friend came round with a load of plants. He asked me a few weeks before if I would like some sunflowers in my garden as he had been cultivating them. I said, “yes that would lovely”. Over the last two years he has developed a love for gardening, something he seemingly inherited from his dad. His dad had died from Covid very early in the pandemic and he had conducted a simple ceremony around the grave side, with close family. I had helped him prepare it at the time. He told me the plants were a thank you. He has thanked me many times before. As he was planting them, he told me that this was the second anniversary of his dad’s death. It was lovely to talk and share in this simple act of kindness; a kindness that had grown from a terrible tragedy in his life.

People have shown me so much kindness in recent weeks. I have expressed a few personal struggles and I cannot begin to tell you how much loving support I have received. Yes, I believe in human kindness too. I think that the problem is that we just don’t give people the opportunity to show it often enough, or maybe that is just me.

Now the cynics say that those who believe in human kindness are being deluded. They say look at the world, it is not filled with kindness at all. Certainly, there is much to be distressed about, there is much that goes against this. We see the horrors of the daily news cycle, but is that how we really live our lives, through our daily interactions, I do not think so. And yet kindness is a word that is often scoffed at. How often are the so called “do-gooders” in the world seen as foolish?

I think that the cynics are wrong, and it does not have to be like this. We do not have to live in the cynic’s nightmare. Just look around you and look carefully, pay attention with an open heart and you will become aware of kindness all around. Our task is I believe is to be both open to it both the giving and receiving of it.

“May we be filled with loving kindness, may we be well.”

Now the cynic’s will say I’m merely a dreamer, but I know I am not the only one; the cynics will say I am fool, again I am not the only one. Come and be fools like us, I invite you.

I have always been touched by the capacity of the human heart to turn suffering into generosity of spirit. My friends growing love for gardening and his desire to share his produce being a beautiful example of this. I have so often seen deeply wounded people transform their suffering into generosity as they themselves have become “wounded healers”, helping fellow sufferers as they have limped along. They have not grown bitter, due to loss and suffering, they have not passed on the pain. No, they have transformed the suffering into acts of love. It is wonderful to bare witness to this alchemy of the human heart. Their suffering has helped them to understand the suffering of others and they have transformed their suffering into compassion.

A wonderful example of suffering transformed in poetic form is the poem “Kindness” by Naomi Shihab Nye. As Parker J Palmer has said of it “It’s a gritty, sometimes grim poem about a virtue we too often romanticize. But in a world that can be as heedless and heartless as ours, kindness must grow from deep inner roots if it is to stand strong and be sustained. As the poet says:

“Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside,
you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing.”

As I read this poem, I give thanks for all the wounded healers I know. And I ask myself what I might do today to allow suffering — my own and others’ — to open my heart up instead of shutting it down.”

Here is the poem in full

“Kindness” by Naomi Shihab Nye

Before you know what kindness really is
you must lose things,
feel the future dissolve in a moment
like salt in a weakened broth.
What you held in your hand,
what you counted and carefully saved,
all this must go so you know
how desolate the landscape can be
between the regions of kindness.
How you ride and ride
thinking the bus will never stop,
the passengers eating maize and chicken
will stare out the window forever.

Before you learn the tender gravity of kindness,
you must travel where the Indian in a white poncho
lies dead by the side of the road.
You must see how this could be you,
how he too was someone
who journeyed through the night with plans
and the simple breath that kept him alive.

Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside,
you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing.
You must wake up with sorrow.
You must speak to it till your voice
catches the thread of all sorrows
and you see the size of the cloth.

Then it is only kindness that makes sense anymore,
only kindness that ties your shoes
and sends you out into the day to gaze at bread,
only kindness that raises its head
from the crowd of the world to say
It is I you have been looking for,
and then goes with you everywhere
like a shadow or a friend.

Yes there is much suffering, but there is loving kindness too, let us not be blind to it. How we respond to the things that happen to us and those we love really matters. Do we respond with fear, or do we respond with kindness?

I have often heard it said that “Love makes the world go round”, well Forrest Church begged to differ. He claimed that:

“Love doesn't make the world go round; kindness does. Plus, it's a purer virtue. When you're kind to a taxi driver or check-out person, you expect nothing in return. And yet, if you make kindness a habit, others may find it contagious.”

Church saw “kindness” as the purest virtue and the purest form of love, which he equated with agape love, self-giving love. This is the love spoken of in Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians chapter 13. Where he states those immortal words. “Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

Kindness is at the core of the great religious traditions. Now in our ever increasing secular age this is just another reason to reject it. I had a conversation with someone I have known all my life about this very subject and their response was “That sounds a bit religious” and do you know what I believe that they are right, in fact its more than a bit religious. Kindness it is how to be religious in its most basic and simplest form, which is no doubt why the lifetime Unitarian I mentioned earlier says that “We believe in human kindness”.My relative though was suggesting that the fact it sounded religious was not a virtue at all.

Kindness is the purest virtue and yet it is one that we seem to want to forget. To me it is religion in its basic and simplest form. As the hymn goes “To worship rightly is to love each other; each smile a hymn, each kindly deed a prayer.”

Kindness is a power, it truly is an energy and it can be a transformative one. It can spread and take over and can begin to bring about the “Kin-Dom of Love” right here right now, the dominion of kindness. It begins right here, right now in our simple acts, words and deeds. That said it does so quietly and humbly, it does not shout it does not boast. It is the purest virtue.

Every day is a day when we can bear witness to a Power Greater than ourselves. We do this when we practise loving kindness, when we love one another, when we are glad to see each other, when we play, when we are light-hearted, when we can laugh at ourselves, when we live with exuberance and enthusiasm, when we grow from dust and become truly animated and live life. When we do this we recognise the Divine in one another and we see it in our own reflection, looking back at us in the glass, in our own eyes. We do not need to seek God, for God is already dwelling amongst us in each of our hearts. We just need to bring that Power to life. We know God’s blessings in our interactions with one another, when we bless one another with loving kindness through love and laughter. The way we look at one another, face to face has the Power to make God’s presence known on earth, right here right now. This is the “Kin-Dom of Love”; this is the dominion of kindness and it begins in our hearts and lives. It begins with a belief in human kindness. It begins by worshipping rightly and to worship rightly is to simple love each other “Each smile a hymn, each kindly deed a prayer.”

I believe it is our task to bring the “Kin-Dom of Love”, the “Dominion of Kindness” to life, right here right now, in so doing we allow God to incarnate through our lives. It begins by simple human kindness. It is shown in our love for one another; it is shown in our laughter, our playfulness and our love for life.

Below is a video devotion based

on the material in this "blogspot"

Tales of the Expected and the Unexpected

A question I have been asked many times these last few months is “How is married life?” I usually answer with a smile, well it’s not exactly what I expected and then add, but then no one amongst us were expecting these last few months. This year has been like one long episode of the 1970’s television series “Tales of the Unexpected.”

I am sure that we all had plans for this year, ideas about what we would like to be doing, perhaps certain expectations and they have not quite worked out. I am sure that all of us have had to live with much disappointment at times. Many with deep tragedy, it has been a difficult last six months, of this there is little or no doubt.

Not that they have all been bad, there have been some lovely surprises too, some unexpected gifts have come our way no doubt. Sometimes these things can come from our greatest challenges as new connections and perhaps creations have grown from the suffering, perhaps you have risen to the challenge in new and surprising ways as so many have. Maybe you have been surprised by spontaneous and perhaps continuous acts of kindness, I know I have.

This brings to mind the wonderful poem “Kindness” by Naomi Shihab Nye

“Kindness” by Naomi Shihab Nye

Before you know what kindness really is
you must lose things,
feel the future dissolve in a moment
like salt in a weakened broth.
What you held in your hand,
what you counted and carefully saved,
all this must go so you know
how desolate the landscape can be
between the regions of kindness.
How you ride and ride
thinking the bus will never stop,
the passengers eating maize and chicken
will stare out the window forever.

Before you learn the tender gravity of kindness
you must travel where the Indian in a white poncho
lies dead by the side of the road.
You must see how this could be you,
how he too was someone
who journeyed through the night with plans
and the simple breath that kept him alive.

Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside,
you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing.
You must wake up with sorrow.
You must speak to it till your voice
catches the thread of all sorrows
and you see the size of the cloth.
Then it is only kindness that makes sense anymore,
only kindness that ties your shoes
and sends you out into the day to gaze at bread,
only kindness that raises its head
from the crowd of the world to say
It is I you have been looking for,
and then goes with you everywhere
like a shadow or a friend.

In an interview with Krista Tippet on “Onbeing”, that Sue recently shared with me, she explained what the poem is about and where it came from.

“Well, I really feel, amongst all my poems, that this was a poem that was given to me. I was simply the secretary for the poem. I wrote it down, but I honestly felt as if it were a female voice speaking in the air across a plaza in Popayán, Colombia. And my husband and I were on our honeymoon. We had just gotten married one week before, here in Texas. And we had this plan to travel in South America for three months. And at the end of our first week, we were robbed of everything. And someone else who was on the bus with us was killed. And he’s the Indian in the poem. And it was quite a shake-up of an experience.

And what do you do now? We didn’t have passports. We didn’t have money. We didn’t have anything. What should we do first? Where do we go? Who do we talk to? And a man came up to us on the street and was simply kind and just looked at us — I guess could see our disarray in our faces, and just asked us in Spanish, “What happened to you?” And we tried to tell him. And he listened to us, and he looked so sad. And he said, “I’m very sorry. I’m very, very sorry that happened,” in Spanish; and he went on. And then we went to this little plaza, and I sat down, and all I had was the notebook in my back pocket, and pencil. And my husband was going to hitchhike off to Cali, a larger city, to see about getting traveler’s checks reinstated — remember those archaic things?”

She continues

“And so this was also a little worrisome to us, because, suddenly, we were gonna split up. I was going to stay here, and he was gonna go there. And as I sat there alone, in a bit of a panic, night coming on, trying to figure out what I was going to do next, this voice came across the plaza and spoke this poem to me — spoke it. And I wrote it down. I was just the scribe.”

So out of this terrible situation, when something horribly unexpected happened, beautiful unexpected things also occurred. The response to what happened was in so many ways beautifully creative, both the kindness of the stranger, but also from this unexpected voice of inspiration that just came to Naomi as she wrote the poem, while waiting alone and somewhat terrified, waiting for her husband’s return. Where that inspiration came from is a beautiful mystery, but perhaps not to those of us who believe in the God of Surprises. That said I know many folk don’t believe in that kind of God, but God for some of us comes alive in that loving and creative response to life’s challenges, some pretty horrific at times.

I love that she described the poem as just being given to her. It is said that Mary Oliver’s poem “Wild Geese” was one of the poems that she said was just “given to her”. Some call this grace, others give it another name. As anything ever been given to you in a similar way? Perhaps something to ponder.

I wonder what we expect from life when we step out into the world. I wonder what we receive, do we notice all we receive, do we only notice the blessings or the curses that come with choosing life. What do we do with what life offers to us, does to us, how do we respond ourselves? How do we respond when something happens to those around us, do we ourselves offer kindness to strangers like the man who offered love to Naomi and thus inspired that loving voice to be heard as she sat down with her pen and pad. It matters how we respond, it really does, who knows what chain reaction we might set off with any and every interaction.

It matters how we respond to the unexpected things that happen in life. Perhaps even more during these times of global disturbance. How we respond to events matter, do we respond with more fear, or do we respond with kindness? For me God is in the action, the response. People can believe and disbelieve what they like but surely our faith is shown in our actions, in what we do and what we do not, the seeds that we plant each and every day in our simple human interactions. We plant seeds and if they are nurtured properly, they will grow into who knows what, perhaps something beautifully unexpected.

These thoughts bring to mind the following beautiful words of wisdom from Octavia Butler’s series “Earthseed: The Book of the Living” the collection that made up "The Parable of the Sower" and "The Parable of the Talents"

“All that you touch You Change.

All that you Change Changes you.

The only lasting truth Is Change.

God Is Change.

In this work of science fiction Octavia Butler depicts God not as a figure or an all-encompassing nature, but “change”, a process that is somehow out of humanities control and yet working within humanities actions either for or against its will. In this work of fiction, the believers did not pray to their God, instead they learnt to shape and be shaped by God through their actions.

“We do not worship God.

We perceive and attend God.

We learn from God.

With forethought and work,

We shape God

Octavia Butler wrote some fascinating science fiction including two pieces that looked into what the world might be like in 2020 “The Parable of the Sower” and “The Parable of the Talents”. I wonder if she would be surprised by what she saw, in some ways yes, in others perhaps not. Of course we cannot know the answer to this as she died in 2006.

This final quotation from Earthseed does seem to speak of our time;

“When apparent stability disintegrates,
As it must-
God is Change-
People tend to give in
To fear and depression,
To need and greed.
When no influence is strong enough
To unify people
They divide.
They struggle,
One against one,
Group against group,
For survival, position, power.
They remember old hates and generate new ones,
The create chaos and nurture it.
They kill and kill and kill,
Until they are exhausted and destroyed,
Until they are conquered by outside forces,
Or until one of them becomes
A leader
Most will follow,
Or a tyrant
Most fear.

Does this speak of our world today?

Our world needs us to find a way to unify to work together, to connect to that power of change that brings about love and kindness and thus inspire one another to live from this loving kindness rather than fear. The seeds we plant today will make the difference not only now, but in the years to come. We must become the change we wish to see in the world, we must bring to life that Divine change.

Did you have plans my friends. I know I did. I had great expectations about my life, particularly this year. It has not gone the way I would have expected. I know I am not alone in this.

As Robbie Burns famously wrote

The best laid schemes of mice and men
Go often askew,
And leave us nothing but grief and pain,
For promised joy!

No matter how careful we plan and scheme life never works out exactly as we would like. Life is full of surprises, we all live tales of the unexpected some amazing, some terrible. Life is awry and usually or do I mean unusually incredible. Brother David Steindt Rast said "Another name for God is surprise." Ah yes the God of surprises, isn’t this the true nature of life? Surprise. It fills me with awe.

We cannot predict the future; it truly is unwritten. We do not know what is coming. There will be some difficult challenges ahead, there will also be beautiful moments too, some will be unexpected. They will come perhaps in our most difficult moments. These moments will affect us and change us, just as our responses will change and affect others. Therefore, it is important what attitude we take into life.

We can’t really live with expectation about what might be, but we can live with hope. I suspect that to live a life without any sense of hope may be the hardest thing to do. For it is hope, in life and humanity, that will allow us to live from that place of kindness, to give love form out hearts, so that those around us, including strangers, will hopefully receive what is needed when things go wrong. Hope and kindness will inspire us to stay open to that voice of love present in life. It will inspire us to plant seeds of love for others to share.

So, let us go plant seeds of love and let us become fertile ground for those seeds to fall on, to be nurtured and cared for, to flower and grow.

Let us go out into the world in hope, if not expectation.

I am going to end this morning with a little bit of David Whyte “Learning to Walk”

“Learning to Walk” by David Whyte

Walked out this morning
into a broad green garden
with the rising sun in my eyes
and the first hint of the day’s heat
touching my face,
feeling as broad as the garden
and young as the day
and soaking up the heat
in my black tee-shirt,
walked straight forward
out of the gate,
through the wood,
along the river,
toward the mountain
and thought of the future
I could make in the world
if I walked toward it
like this,
with my face toward the hills
and my eyes full of light
and the earth sure
and solid beneath me,
walking on
with a fierce anticipation,
and a faithful expectation,
with the sun and the rain
and the wind on my skin…

From “River Flow: New and Selected Poems”

We Believe in Human Kindness

“Kindness: The First Gift” by John O'Donohue

There is a kindness that dwells deep down in things; it presides everywhere, often in the places we least expect. The world can be harsh and negative, but if we remain generous and patient, kindness inevitably reveals itself. Something deep in the human soul seems to depend on the presence of kindness; something instinctive in us expects it, and once we sense it we are able to trust and open ourselves…

The word kindness has a gentle sound that seems to echo the presence of compassionate goodness. When someone is kind to you, you feel understood and seen. There is no judgment or harsh perception directed toward you. Kindness has gracious eyes; it is not small-minded or competitive; it wants nothing back for itself. Kindness strikes a resonance with the depths of your own heart; it also suggests that your vulnerability, though somehow exposed, is not taken advantage of; rather, it has become an occasion for dignity and empathy. Kindness casts a different light, an evening light that has the depth of color and patience to illuminate what is complex and rich in difference.”

...John O'Donohue had such a beautiful way of catching the deeper meaning of everything...

“We believe in human kindness” I was told by a lifetime Unitarian that for her these simple words speak of her faith. She says that we believe in human kindness.

Kindness is one of those words that is often derided these days. In fact I’ve heard people mocked for claiming a belief in it. I’ve heard the claim that it is not much of a foundation on which to build a faith. The more cynical and critical may also claim that there is no such thing as human kindness.

Is this so?

I have just spent a week where I have experienced nothing but kindness. Ok so for most of it I was with my nearest and dearest. That said I still noticed kindness, simple human kindness being shown towards me. It was lovely, truly beautiful and I enjoyed it immensely. It refreshed and revived me as I enjoyed the kindness of “kin”. I spent a week truly bathing in “The kin-dom of love”.

Now as it happens this is something I experience in most of my interactions I enjoy with other people. People show me affection and kindness and offer a welcoming space to me. Not everyone of course, but most. Do you know what I rarely even notice these days when folk aren’t and when do I am increasingly learning not to take this too personally. I know today that most of the time when people are unpleasant toward me it is more about where they are at than anything to do me.

Yes most of these days I am shown kindness and experience it in my daily living. I do experience that all-encompassing kin-dom of love both within myself and amongst the people I share my life with. I offer thanks and praise for this.

Now I can’t claim that this has always been the case. Now is this because the world has changed? It would seem not. No, more than anything it due to my experience of life changing. There was a time when I found kindness hard to take and accept. I often rejected it and turned from it. I didn’t trust it and thought to myself “What do they want, you can’t trust kindness.” I grew quite cynical of those who were seemingly kind. I sometimes feel sad about this, as it was a horribly lonely and unfeeling way to live.

I do hear that same tired, lonely voice in the world in which we all live and breathe and have our being. Cynicism is a disease. Kindness is a word that is often scoffed at. How often are the so called “do-gooders” in the world seen as foolish? We do seem to be living in times where the “Kin-dom of Love” is just the idealists dream, or religious nonsense.

I think that they are wrong and it does not have to be like this. We do not have to live in the cynic’s nightmare. If you look around you and look carefully, paying attention with an open heart you will become aware of kindness all around. Our task is I believe is to be both open to it and to allow it to radiate from our being.

“May we be filled with loving kindness, may we be well.”

Now the cynic’s will say I’m merely a dreamer, but I know I am not the only one.

Anita Roddick, the founder of the Body Shop is one too. She has often spoken of her belief in human kindness and the need to develop it as a spiritual practice, something she has seen as the essence of all the great religious traditions of the world. In her book "A Revolution in Kindness she wrote:

"To me, kindness is one of the most important words in the English language. It's enormously resonant and life-enhancing. And yet, over the past generation or so, it has begun to disappear from polite discourse. It's considered insipid, almost embarrassing. People are not praised for their kindness anymore. It is often viewed as something sanctimonious, patronizing and unrealistic — as if being kind somehow ignores the basic causes of a problem in the first place. Kindness carries with it implications of noblesse oblige, even snobbery . . .

Kindness is lumped along with “nice” as unrealistic and not possessing the power to bring about real change in the world, that it is simplistic, syrupy and worse still cowardly. Roddick though suggests the opposite claiming that kindness requires real courage as it goes against the grain of the times and does bring about change on a very human level. She further states that “…kindness doesn't have to be insipid or random to be effective. Far from it: deliberate kindness can be fierce, tenacious, unexpected, unconditional and sometime positively revolutionary…These qualities give kindness its power to create change, to make things happen. And in a period of human history in which we are obsessed with change — personal or political — and are unsure whether it is possible at all, kindness could be our salvation."

Could Kindness be our salvation. Could we actually bring about “The Kin-dom of Love” right here, right now.

John Lydon once sang that “Anger is an energy” and it most certainly is, that said so is kindness. It is a power if not an obvious one, as it does not shout or boast and operates at a simple one to one human level.

We have often heard it said that “Love makes the world go round”, well Forrest Church begged to differ. He claimed that “Love doesn't make the world go round; kindness does. Plus, it's a purer virtue. When you're kind to a taxi driver or check-out person, you expect nothing in return. And yet, if you make kindness a habit, others may find it contagious.” Church saw “kindness” as the purest virtue and the purest form of love, which he equated with agape love, self-giving love. This is the love spoken of in Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians chapter 13. Where he states those immortal words. “Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

Kindness is at the core of the great religious traditions. Now in our ever increasing secular age this is just another reason to reject it. I had a conversation with someone I have known all my life about this very subject recently and their response was “That sounds a bit religious” and do you know what I believe that they are right, in fact its more than a bit religious. Kindness it is how to be religious in its most basic and simplest form, which is no doubt why that lifetime Unitarian says that “We believe in human kindness”

Kindness is the purest virtue and yet it is one we have seemingly forgotten, but it is there in the great faiths, at their core, in their essence.

Plato said “Be kind “for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.” An ancient Arabian proverb claims that ”Blessed is the person who speaks a kindness; thrice blessed is the person who repeats it.” And in the Talmud it is said, “Deeds of kindness are equal in weight to all the commandments.” The book of Micah states “What does the Lord require of you? To act justly, to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” Kindness is the first of the three great treasures advocated by Lao Tzu. The Buddha taught that generosity is a primary quality of an awakened mind. Muhammad regarded kindness as an essential sign of faith. Kindness is at the core of Christian ethics, it is considered the purest virtue.

Kindness is at the core of Buddhism. In contemporary times the Dalai Lama has said that “There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; my philosophy is kindness.” While the Buddha’s Metta Sutta taught “even as a mother protects with her life, her child, her only child, so with a boundless heart should one cherish all living beings: radiating kindness over the entire world spreading upwards to the skies, and downwards to the depths; outwards and unbounded, free from hatred and ill-will.”

This is religion in its basic and simplest form. As the hymn goes “To worship rightly is to love each other; each smile a hymn, each kindly deed a prayer.”

Kindness is a power, it truly is an energy and it can be a transformative one. It can spread and take over and can begin to bring about the “Kin-dom of Love” right here right now. It begins right here, right now in our simple acts, words and deeds. That said it does so quietly and humbly, it does not shout it does not boast. It is the purest virtue.

Every day is a day when we can bear witness to a Power Greater than ourselves. We do this when we practise loving kindness, when we love one another, when we are glad to see each other, when we play, when we are light-hearted, when we can laugh at ourselves, when we live with exuberance and enthusiasm, when we grow from dust and become truly animated and live life. When we do this we recognise the Divine in one another and we see it in our own reflection, looking back at us in the glass, in our own eyes. We do not need to seek God, for God is already dwelling amongst us in each of our hearts. We just need to bring that Power to life. We know God’s blessings in our interactions with one another, when we bless one another with loving kindness through love and laughter. The way we look at one another, face to face has the Power to make God’s presence known on earth, right here right now. This is the “Kin-Dom of Love” and it begins with our acts. It begins with a belief in human kindness. It begins by worshipping rightly and to worship rightly is to simple love each other “Each smile a hymn, each kindly deed a prayer.”

I believe it is our task to bring the “Kin-dom of Love” to life, right here right now, in so doing we allow God to incarnate through our lives. It begins by simple human kindness. It is shown in our love for one another; it is shown in our laughter, our playfulness and our love for life.

I’m going to end this little chip of a "blogspot" with a story from the Desert Father’s, who were earlier Christians who tended to live apart from society and in community although sometimes alone.

There’s a monk who will never give you advice, but only a question. I was told his questions could be very helpful. I sought him out. “I am a parish priest,” I said. “I’m here on retreat. Could you give me a question?”

“Ah yes,” he answered. “My question is, ‘What do they need?’”

I came away disappointed. I spent a few hours with the question, writing out answers, but finally I went back to him.

“Excuse me. Perhaps I didn’t make myself clear. Your question has been helpful, but I wasn’t so much interested in thinking about my postulate during this retreat. Rather I wanted to think seriously about my own spiritual life, Could you give me a question for my own spiritual life?”

“Ah I see. Then my question is, ‘What do they REALLY need?’”

Do you believe in human kindness? Do you believe that this is what we the people really need?

I do!