Now for some folk this sounds a little folksy, not really carrying any depth and weight and intellectual rigour. In fact, there are those in the world who no doubt deride such feelings. I have heard folk mocked for their belief in it; I have heard others claim that it is not much of a foundation on which to build a faith. The more cynical and critical may also claim that there is no such thing as human kindness. Rutger Bregman’s “Humankind” was much derided when it was published two years ago. Well, I for one found it inspirational, it certainly helped me get through the first lockdown. By the way Bregman isn’t suggesting that this is all we are, or are capable of being, it is just a critique of the view that we are selfish and brutal by nature.
I have witnessed a great deal of kindness in recent weeks. A lovely example happened just the other day. A friend came round with a load of plants. He asked me a few weeks before if I would like some sunflowers in my garden as he had been cultivating them. I said, “yes that would lovely”. Over the last two years he has developed a love for gardening, something he seemingly inherited from his dad. His dad had died from Covid very early in the pandemic and he had conducted a simple ceremony around the grave side, with close family. I had helped him prepare it at the time. He told me the plants were a thank you. He has thanked me many times before. As he was planting them, he told me that this was the second anniversary of his dad’s death. It was lovely to talk and share in this simple act of kindness; a kindness that had grown from a terrible tragedy in his life.
People have shown me so much kindness in recent weeks. I have expressed a few personal struggles and I cannot begin to tell you how much loving support I have received. Yes, I believe in human kindness too. I think that the problem is that we just don’t give people the opportunity to show it often enough, or maybe that is just me.
Now the cynics say that those who believe in human kindness are being deluded. They say look at the world, it is not filled with kindness at all. Certainly, there is much to be distressed about, there is much that goes against this. We see the horrors of the daily news cycle, but is that how we really live our lives, through our daily interactions, I do not think so. And yet kindness is a word that is often scoffed at. How often are the so called “do-gooders” in the world seen as foolish?
I think that the cynics are wrong, and it does not have to be like this. We do not have to live in the cynic’s nightmare. Just look around you and look carefully, pay attention with an open heart and you will become aware of kindness all around. Our task is I believe is to be both open to it both the giving and receiving of it.
“May we be filled with loving kindness, may we be well.”
Now the cynic’s will say I’m merely a dreamer, but I know I am not the only one; the cynics will say I am fool, again I am not the only one. Come and be fools like us, I invite you.
I have always been touched by the capacity of the human heart to turn suffering into generosity of spirit. My friends growing love for gardening and his desire to share his produce being a beautiful example of this. I have so often seen deeply wounded people transform their suffering into generosity as they themselves have become “wounded healers”, helping fellow sufferers as they have limped along. They have not grown bitter, due to loss and suffering, they have not passed on the pain. No, they have transformed the suffering into acts of love. It is wonderful to bare witness to this alchemy of the human heart. Their suffering has helped them to understand the suffering of others and they have transformed their suffering into compassion.
A wonderful example of suffering transformed in poetic form is the poem “Kindness” by Naomi Shihab Nye. As Parker J Palmer has said of it “It’s a gritty, sometimes grim poem about a virtue we too often romanticize. But in a world that can be as heedless and heartless as ours, kindness must grow from deep inner roots if it is to stand strong and be sustained. As the poet says:
“Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside,
you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing.”
As I read this poem, I give thanks for all the wounded healers I know. And I ask myself what I might do today to allow suffering — my own and others’ — to open my heart up instead of shutting it down.”
Here is the poem in full
“Kindness” by Naomi Shihab Nye
Before you know what kindness really is
you must lose things,
feel the future dissolve in a moment
like salt in a weakened broth.
What you held in your hand,
what you counted and carefully saved,
all this must go so you know
how desolate the landscape can be
between the regions of kindness.
How you ride and ride
thinking the bus will never stop,
the passengers eating maize and chicken
will stare out the window forever.
Before you learn the tender gravity of kindness,
you must travel where the Indian in a white poncho
lies dead by the side of the road.
You must see how this could be you,
how he too was someone
who journeyed through the night with plans
and the simple breath that kept him alive.
Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside,
you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing.
You must wake up with sorrow.
You must speak to it till your voice
catches the thread of all sorrows
and you see the size of the cloth.
Then it is only kindness that makes sense anymore,
only kindness that ties your shoes
and sends you out into the day to gaze at bread,
only kindness that raises its head
from the crowd of the world to say
It is I you have been looking for,
and then goes with you everywhere
like a shadow or a friend.
Yes there is much suffering, but there is loving kindness too, let us not be blind to it. How we respond to the things that happen to us and those we love really matters. Do we respond with fear, or do we respond with kindness?
I have often heard it said that “Love makes the world go round”, well Forrest Church begged to differ. He claimed that:
“Love doesn't make the world go round; kindness does. Plus, it's a purer virtue. When you're kind to a taxi driver or check-out person, you expect nothing in return. And yet, if you make kindness a habit, others may find it contagious.”
Church saw “kindness” as the purest virtue and the purest form of love, which he equated with agape love, self-giving love. This is the love spoken of in Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians chapter 13. Where he states those immortal words. “Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
Kindness is at the core of the great religious traditions. Now in our ever increasing secular age this is just another reason to reject it. I had a conversation with someone I have known all my life about this very subject and their response was “That sounds a bit religious” and do you know what I believe that they are right, in fact its more than a bit religious. Kindness it is how to be religious in its most basic and simplest form, which is no doubt why the lifetime Unitarian I mentioned earlier says that “We believe in human kindness”.My relative though was suggesting that the fact it sounded religious was not a virtue at all.
Kindness is the purest virtue and yet it is one that we seem to want to forget. To me it is religion in its basic and simplest form. As the hymn goes “To worship rightly is to love each other; each smile a hymn, each kindly deed a prayer.”
Kindness is a power, it truly is an energy and it can be a transformative one. It can spread and take over and can begin to bring about the “Kin-Dom of Love” right here right now, the dominion of kindness. It begins right here, right now in our simple acts, words and deeds. That said it does so quietly and humbly, it does not shout it does not boast. It is the purest virtue.
Every day is a day when we can bear witness to a Power Greater than ourselves. We do this when we practise loving kindness, when we love one another, when we are glad to see each other, when we play, when we are light-hearted, when we can laugh at ourselves, when we live with exuberance and enthusiasm, when we grow from dust and become truly animated and live life. When we do this we recognise the Divine in one another and we see it in our own reflection, looking back at us in the glass, in our own eyes. We do not need to seek God, for God is already dwelling amongst us in each of our hearts. We just need to bring that Power to life. We know God’s blessings in our interactions with one another, when we bless one another with loving kindness through love and laughter. The way we look at one another, face to face has the Power to make God’s presence known on earth, right here right now. This is the “Kin-Dom of Love”; this is the dominion of kindness and it begins in our hearts and lives. It begins with a belief in human kindness. It begins by worshipping rightly and to worship rightly is to simple love each other “Each smile a hymn, each kindly deed a prayer.”
I believe it is our task to bring the “Kin-Dom of Love”, the “Dominion of Kindness” to life, right here right now, in so doing we allow God to incarnate through our lives. It begins by simple human kindness. It is shown in our love for one another; it is shown in our laughter, our playfulness and our love for life.
Below is a video devotion based
on the material in this "blogspot"
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