Winter & Wellbeing: Finding Comfort in the Spirit of Hygge

Monday 12th of January has become one of those days that have been marked out on the yearly calendar. Not an official public holiday, there isn’t one until Easter. That said it is still a day we mark. It is known as “Blue Monday”, no I don’t mean the song by New Order. “Blue Monday” has become regarded as the hardest day of the year, after all the Christmas spirit has all gone and we are right in depths of winter. It is dark, it is cold and there is little light around, Spring seems so far away. The day light hours will increase over the coming weeks but still we must face winter. January and February can be difficult as we feel stuck in the cold on these dark winter evenings.

Last Monday morning I felt somewhat exhausted and little blue myself. It seems Blue Monday came a week early for me. Now there are good reasons for this I was not fully over the virus that struck me down over Christmas. Despite this feeling I went out into the snowy day with Molly and bumped into people and connected and chatted away. Folk wishing each other Happy New Year and talking about their Christmases. Molly enjoyed the snow, she loved it, that said she didn’t like the cold and wet. She was happy to get home and curl up in the comfort of her bed and warmth of the house. She slept much of the day.

I got on with some work and then took down my tree and decorations. As I did I felt some sadness, especially as I packed away all the gifts I had bought and wrapped for family, but was unable to give, as I was too unwell to travel at the time. So, my mood was low. I was feeling fatigued, my throat was sore too, which was troubling. I also had my share of concerns for folk in my life, particularly two friends who are struggling, the two communities I serve that have their challenges and the wider world in which we all live. Nothing new here. The choir I have joined and loved joining was getting back together that night. I considered not going and then thought to myself no you will enjoy it, have a little faith.

Thank goodness I did. It was lovely to catch up with folk who I hadn’t seen for a while; it was wonderful to connect and share our tales and of course to sing. I found comfort, connection, community and joy. I got right into what I was doing. I really got into it. In fact, the choir leader said at one point. “I don’t want to single anyone out, but what I am looking for from you all is the energy that Danny is putting into this.” Apparently, I was giving it the appropriate amount of “sass”. This led to much laughter. It was just what I needed. I needed the joy of singing and the comfort of community. My soul needed it and gave me a wonderful sense of well-being.

This got me thinking of the importance of well-being, especially at this time of year. I know my physical, mental and spiritual well-being are interconnected. If one is out of sync, then they can all be. I have noticed this again over the last few weeks.

Often at the beginning of the year we resolve to live more healthily, gym membership sores at this time of the year in an attempt to improve our physical lives. I know I would certainly benefit from getting physically healthier. Physical well-being is of course on many of our minds this winter too, there does seem to have been more than the average number of nasty viruses about that have ruined one or two of our Christmases.

So yes physical well-being is definitely on our minds at this time of the year.

Now while there is a great deal of talk of improving our physical well-being, which is of course vital, there seems to be less talk of taking care of our spiritual well-being, which actually may well be more vital. If I have learnt anything in life I know that my emotional, mental and physical well-being rests on my spiritual health.

I remember a wise man saying to me twenty or more years ago, “If you are spiritually well, the rest will be taken care of.” How true this is. I learnt many years ago not to put the horse before the cart, a lesson I have never forgotten.

Spiritual well-being is vital. How do I know this? Well for many years it was something I lacked and as a result my life was devoid of all meaning and connection. I was just an empty vessel blown about in the storms of life. I was lonely, I was lost and I was ruled by fear of pretty much everything. This is no longer the case and the reason for this is that I found both and anchor and rudder as well as the ability to set my sails accordingly when the winds really blow. The key to this is spiritual well-being.

Medical practioners are increasingly recognising the potential benefits that spiritual well-being can bring. A spiritually healthy person tends to be at ease with themselves and comfortable in their own skin and surroundings, they have a developing awareness of themselves and those around them, they tend to act with patience, honesty, kindness, hope, wisdom, joy and creativity. They have a healthy relationships with the people they share their lives with as well as a hope filled view of life and a sense of inner peace and acceptance of problems we face in life. While their recovery from both illness and bereavement tend to be less problematic.

Spiritual well-being is vital to a life of meaning and purpose and yet so many people in our increasing secularised age neglect this. Yes, many folks may have a near perfect buffed body and a sharp mind and yet they can still feel empty, lonely and utterly disconnected.

Why is this? Well I suspect it is because increasingly we neglect our souls.

Now one sign of healthy well-being in my own being is the quality of my humour. I noticed last Monday morning I was in a deeply serious mood. This though was not the case by the end of the day. I was feeling well again, I was in good humour. Being out in life and community and set me free from myself and restored my well-being.

"Life is far too serious a business to be taken too seriously. I remember at school an old biology teacher telling me that a man who cannot laugh at himself will always struggle. It is something else I have never forgotten. I hated him for it at the time, because I knew I took myself far too seriously and just couldn’t free myself from this blight. I just took everything so personally. Thankfully I learnt a long time ago that if ever I want a good laugh I just have to listen to myself.

More and more I see clearly that one of the key barometers of my spiritual well-being is the health of my humour. When I am in good humour I find that I am in good health.

As you know I am not alone in this, it’s an ancient idea. As I have shared many times before, to be in good humour is to enjoy good health. The word “Humour” is derived from a medieval medical term for fluids of the human body. It has its roots in the ‘old’ French word ‘humor’, derived from the Latin ‘umere’. Physicians of the day believed that we had four different types of internal fluids that they called ‘humors’ and it was these that determined our physical and mental health. Therefore, if a person became ill it was believed that their humors were out of balance. So, to be in good humour is to literally be in good health, or at least that’s what it used to mean.

Now of course this isn’t why I and others have suffered some horrible winter viruses. That said I suspect that good humour might just help us through the winter blues.

Everyone knows I love language; I love the roots and meaning of words, humour being a classic example. I especially love how words, like humour, have either changed in meaning, or somehow got lost or disappeared. New words, or at least new words to our culture are also of interest to me. One word that has come into prominence in recent years is Hygge (pronounced hew-geh). It is a word of Scandinavian origin, primarily Danish but also Norwegian. According to Louisa Thomson Brits in “The Book of Hygge” Hygge is defined as “a quality of presence and an experience of belonging and togetherness. It is a feeling of being warm, safe, comforted and sheltered. Hygge is an experience of selfhood and communion with people and places that anchors and affirms us, gives us courage and consolation”. This is a feeling I felt powerfully when back with the choir last Monday. It is something I find in spiritual community too. It gives me a sense of well-being. Interestingly last Autumn the choir recorded a version of “Park-Life”, originally by Blur. We also created a video, it’s aim being to help promote the Oyez art collective now based at the town hall where the choir practices. The cry throughout being “Get some community”. It got me thinking about a line in the original “Parklife” “It gives me a sense of enormous well-being”. This is something we all strive for. This is at the heart of Hygge. I feel that there is much that we can learn from Hygge, that can help us to improve our well-being as individuals and community.

Hygge (hew-geh) helps Danes imagine who they are and how they should be together, there is something of collective and not merely individual about it. Hygge began to come to prominence globally due to an increase in fascination with the Scandinavian countries ever since the launch of the UN World Happiness Report in 2012, in which both Denmark and Norway have never been out of the top three with regards to levels of happiness amongst their population. Could it be down to this concept of Hygge? Maybe!

So where does Hygge come from? There are various theories as to the origin of Hygge. It appears to be rooted in the nineteenth century. Some trace it back to the Biedermeier movement, which developed as a reaction to the early nineteenth century revolutionary passion, throughout Europe. During this period artists and designers returned to the home and developed their private lives as a reaction against the public pretentions of the upper class. Another theory suggests that it was influenced by what was considered to be a more liberal guilt free Protestantism that developed in Denmark in comparison to their Scandinavian neighbours, which was established by the theologian N.F.S Grudtvig. It also developed under the social democratic and egalitarian values of the Danish people.

The central concept of the “Hygge Life”, according to Louisa Thomsen Britts in “The Book of Hygge”, is “a quality of presence and a feeling of belongness and togetherness. It is a feeling of being warm, safe, comforted and sheltered.” It is a state of being, a way of being and living in the world and not something that you can possess. It is a quality of hominess, of being, of welcome and hospitable, of being warm, safe and sheltered and enables the other to feel that way in your company. It is not a uniquely Danish quality and the Danes themselves do not consider it to be so, it is a quality that you will find at the core of the great religious and spiritual traditions, it is hospitality in its most basic form. Something that has perhaps become lost in our individualistic and fast paced lives.

Hygge has been described as the art of creating intimacy, cosy togetherness and taking pleasure in the presence of soothing things. Although it is often developed through cosy material things it is more about creating a particular atmosphere or to shape an experience. Hyyge is about creating a communal atmosphere of simplicity and presence, it is about living by soulful presence. It is about how to be with each other and nurturing those relationship so as to build respect, goodwill to all and hope, with all your heart, with all your mind and with all your soul. It is about being good neighbours to all; it is about creating a quiet space, in the rush and push of life to enable our soulfulness to come out of hiding and express itself fully in life, thus inviting the other to do so too. In so doing we will truly be enabled to love our neighbours as ourselves. We need such places as we live in and through the storms of life. There are many storms in life, both literally and figuratively.

Hygge is about a love and appreciation of the simple, close to hand things in life. It encourages gratitude for the everyday moments in life. It is about equality and egality, about working together. It has deeply spiritual qualities, but earthy real ones. It recognises the worth of each person, it desires peace and harmony, equality for all, a heartfelt appreciation of the natural world. It builds trust and connection between people; it is about harmonious living. It celebrates the simple pleasure of being alive wherever you find yourself, encouraging soulful presence. To me this is the essence of spiritual living. By living this way, you encourage others to come and join with you, to come as you are, exactly as you are. Hygge is about creating intentional intimacy, intimacy with ourselves, with God, with each other and with all life. It is about living by the Divine commandment, to love God and to love our neighbours as ourselves.

Hygge draws meaning from the fabric of ordinary living. It's a way of acknowledging the sacred in the secular, of giving something ordinary a special context, spirit, and warmth, and taking time to make it extraordinary. I invite us to adopt an attitude of Hygge, now and in the days yet to come. It can begin in the midst of winter, perhaps tomorrow on Blue Monday. It will enable us to touch those deeper aspects of our own humanity and help hold one another in a communal spiritual hug. It will give us all an enormous sense of well-being and don’t we all want to be well.

May we all be well, may we live by well-being.

Let us live in and by the spirit of Hygge.

Please find below a video devotion based on the material in this piece

Troubles With God: Wrestling With My Soul

Last Saturday night I was watching the Denmark Finland game , at the European Football Championship. I am one of those people who will watch pretty much any sport and love these big tournaments. It was a pretty ordinary game until something suddenly happened towards the end of the first half. I thought at first that someone must have suffered a head injury as several of the Danish players surrounded their playmaker Christian Ericson. It suddenly became clear that something serious was going on. The Danish captain Simon Kjaer (pronouced care) acted decisively and while it is no doubt that the medics saved Christian’s life the action of Kjaer had a big impact too. He gave him instant first aid in the first crucial seconds. He placed him in the correct position, held his tongue, got the players to surround him and create a human shield around their ailing teammate, to protect him from flash cameras and shocking headlines being spread around the world, while the medics attempted to get his heart going again, Christian had suffered a cardiac arrest. Once the medical team had put a curtain around him Kjaer went to the side of the pitch to console Ericson’s partner, who was beside herself. I cannot begin to imagine the distress she must have been in. I know how distressed I was watching and no doubt the millions of others watching all over the world.

Thankfully, due to the brilliant work of the medical team, within the stadium, and his captain Kjaer and teammates Christian Ericson his alive and recovering in hospital. Later that evening the players returned to the field and resumed the game. They showed remarkable courage, sadly they lost the game. I am sure that their hearts were not completely in it. They showed remarkable courage in my eyes to do so, although I believe it was too much to ask them to do so. As well as Kjaer I was particularly touched by the actions of the Danish goalkeeper Kasper Schmeichel who spent time consoling players from both sides and many others, as they returned to the pitch. He must have been drained of all emotion and no doubt it affected his game. That said there was something of greater importance at work that night. Sometimes there are greater sacrifices to make.

Now like so many people around the world I was deeply moved by these events that I witnessed. It took me out of my own personal troubles, as it did for millions of people throughout the world; the world found itself wishing this young man and his loved ones well. You could almost feel the outpouring of love in the air.

As the game restarted, there was initially one or two technical issues with the BBC commentary, but after a few moments the commentator Jonathan Pearce began to speak, he seemed to catch the mood of the moment beautifully, his words touched me deep in my heart and soul, as he was introduced by the presenter and former England striker and captain Gary Lineker. Pearce said:

“Thank you Gary. The images of Kasper Schmeichel embracing the opposition players from Finland, so full of emotion, will stay with me for a long time.” He continued “I am not a religious person but seeing the messages flood in for Christian Eriksen from footballers like Marcus Rashford and Jesse Lingard and so many of you out there, I am sure somehow must have played a part.”

The next day I heard another favourite football podcaster state “I am not a religious person in any way, but I found myself praying for Christian Eriksen”, so many others were too, so much love, so much care, so much emotion and thanks to the amazing medical people working swiftly Erickson is recovering well. It showed humanity at its best, as that incredible spirit came alive and worked though us all.

As a world we have been through so much this last year or more and it is far from over. We have been living in a kind of crisis state really. People have generally stepped up to the plate and done what they can to care. No doubt we are inspired by so many different things; no doubt we make sense of what inspires us in different ways. Some inspired by love, others by God. Some offer best wishes and others perhaps pray. No doubt we all struggle at times to explain what exactly it is that inspires us and also keeps us going, what gives us the courage to go on in times of trouble. I found it interesting that the football commentator and podcaster both felt that they must state that they are not in any way a religious person and yet they both talked about prayer and a spirit at work; that not only was visible help at work during this time, but also some form of invisible, inexplicable help at work too. Whether that be prayer, or just offering blessings to one another. It all helps. That’s why I’m a great believer in offering blessing to one another as much as we can. I need it, we all do. The power of love runs deep, we can all feel it. Some of us call it God, others prefer to give it another name.

Brings to mind the line from the hymn “Some call it consecration, and others call it God”

Both Jonathan Pearce and the podcaster wanted to make it clear that they were not religious and yet they expressed a sense of spirit at work. It brought to mind a word I had recently come across on “Grandiloquent: word of the Day”. The word “Nullifidian” (pronounced nuhl-uh-FID-ee-uhn) meaning “one who is unhindered by religious ideology” from “nullus” meaning none and “fides”, meaning faith. Not necessarily an atheist, but then someone not tied down, fettered by a belief or tradition. I think there are more and more people like this in the world today. They call them “nones” as in none affiliated. They don’t necessarily reject all spiritual matters, but cannot subscribe to tenets of a particular traditions. I suspect many of them could well find a home among we Unitarians. They are the reason there is so much work as a celebrant for the likes of Sue.

On Wednesday morning I drove to the chapel, I had a few things on my mind and was struggling with putting these thoughts together. As I arrived, I noticed a man wandering around the gardens. He looked a little lost. I made my way to the vestry and was just sorting out my laptop before going to the gym for my daily exercise. There was a knock on the door and there stood this man. He had piece of paper in his hand and said he was looking for an AA meeting. He was seeking help and I was able to offer my time to him. So we sat in the garden and talked. Well, he talked and I listened. I directed him to where and when the meetings were. He then began to ask me about Unitarians, “asking what are we exactly?, compared to Methodism and C of E or Roman Catholics.” He told me he had been Christened and confirmed as a Methodist. I tried to explain how we are an open tradition, that we don’t make statements of belief that members must subscribe to, that those who come here come to their own truth in matters of faith and belief, but that we congregate together in a spirit of love. He looked at me a little puzzled and then left, telling me he would see me at the meeting in the morning. By the way he did.

I have been pondering that conversation since, as well as other attempts to speak of spiritual matters, of faith and belief and personal spiritual experience. Language has its limits, the words we use can hardly explain exactly what we as individuals experience. There is a gap between experience, process, articulation and receiving of words depicting the experience. By the time we put it into words the experience has already been reduced greatly.

The great twentieth century theologian Paul Tillich had an interesting take on the limit of language to describe one’s faith. He claimed that whatever reveals “Ultimate Reality” also hides it. I think it applies to all aspects of truth. Whatever we do to communicate truth will reveal aspects of it, but not fully. I’m not sure it is possible for any of us see the light of truth absolutely, we always see it through lenses. We never see anything absolutely and as soon as we attempt to articulate the meaning something gets lost in translation. We understand things through the lens of our culture and upbringing and we communicate it through this even more so. It is important to remember this. It certainly humbles me. I know from over ten years of ministry that folk do not hear exactly what I am trying to express. Not that this bothers me too much, I love how creative interchange can expand on what is shared as well as reduce its meaning. I love to hear back from others what they experience through what I share. I have had several fascinating conversations with folk following on from what they heard last Sunday. It has been wonderful to listen to. I learn so much from these conversations.

I love these kinds of conversation, when people attempt to wrestle with experience and belief. They are wonderful things to wrestle with. Folk have been doing so since humanity gained consciousness no doubt. I love to see others engage and wrestle too, to give in and surrender and wrestle again. Every time a person doe, they are blessed by the struggle.

Now I say I usually enjoy such conversations, but sometimes I do not. Why don’t I sometimes enjoy them, you may well ask? Well because sometimes they do not go anywhere. It is very difficult to engage in these kind of conversations with people whose minds and hearts are snapped shut. It’s that old hubris thing again, some people seem so certain about things. What troubles me about fundamentalists whether of religion or atheism is that they seem to want to reduce God. When they talk of God they talk of something almost human or something a bit more than human. They seem to reduce life down to some kind of mathematical equation that can either be proven or disproven. The God that such people talk about believing in or not believing in seems so much less than God, I find most of the conversations impossible. They tie people up in knots and this leads to arguments often over minutae. In many ways I am more interested in what people experience more than what they claim to believe and or disbelieve. Our beliefs and dis-beliefs seem oh so limiting. The key is to stay open and share, then listen, then share again.

To key is to struggle, to wrestle, to give in and start all over again, in so doing you will be blessed, at least that is what I’ve discovered. Through struggling you will discover something beautiful and wonderful, even if it is just the power of your open, vulnerable heart.

The key to the spiritual life for me is that it is about putting something other than our own self-centred wants and needs at the core of our lives. The most dissatisfying and dissatisfied lives are the ones that are merely for the good of themselves. If you want to experience the love that is God, you can do so in that space that is created when you give to another from your heart and you receive from another from their heart. For me that is all I need to know about theology, that God once again comes to life when we give ourselves to another and they give back to us in return. I experienced this so wonderfully on Wednesday morning with that lost soul in the gardens at the chapel.

I saw a wonderful example of this last Saturday night in the actions Simon Kjaer, how he responded to his ailing teammate, his fellow players and Christian Ericson’s wife and no doubt many others. This is a man who knew what to do when crisis hit. What did he do, he cared for those around him. Now for many this isn’t a religious act, maybe it is not, but it Is certainly an act of faith, faith in life and humanity itself and it had a powerful impact on me as I know it did on many others too.

Now for me in that space I saw what I understand as God come to life. I cannot prove that to you or anyone else, I don’t need to. The key is not so much what we believe anyway, what is more important is how we act. All we need to do is put self giving love into practise and I guarantee you that that power will change all our lives.

If we do we will bless life and it will bless us too.

Below is a video devotion based on the material in this "Blogspot"