The Language of Love Embodies Love: The Language of War Embodies War

“What’s Up?!” I was asked this the other day. I was a bit taken back by it. I replied. Well nothing much, I feel quite good actually. A bit tired as it was Sunday evening. I had had a heavy week and had just gone through the emotion of the England game. So I was feeling a bit tired, but generally ok. That said there was nothing the matter and I told her so. Now she was a bit taken aback by this, because she wasn’t asking me a question about my well being. She was asking “What’s up!” as in what I had been up to. A bit like the old “Coca Cola” advert, “What’s Up”. It was an hilarious moment and revealed something rather interesting and amusing to me. It isn’t always the words that we use, but the meaning behind the words we use. As we all know words change in meaning over time. In fact some words can almost mean the exact opposite of what they originally meant.

Like the word awful. Which originally meant to be filled with awe, in a powerful and overwhelming sense. Like awesome means now, but 100 fold. These days awful means a terrible thing, like the worst thing that could happen to a person. So nowadays having a little awe, awesome, is a good thing; but to be overwhelmed with awe, awful, is the worst thing imaginable.

Language, words, connect us, but they can also separate us; words are incredibly powerful things, spoken or written. Words can begin to bring deep healing or can be deeply destructive. What matters is the intention behind them. What seems to matter is the condition of our heart and soul as we speak what we must speak. It is the meaning behind the words that seems to matter the most.

Words are powerful they can be either destructive or creative. Perhaps an example of their creative power comes at the beginning of John’s Gospel and the following lines:

'In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God and the Word was God.
The same was in the beginning with God.
All things were made by him; and without him was not anything made that was made.'

According to John the spoken word can literally create life, in fact all life. Now of course in the original Greek, which these opening words were written in the word for “Word” was originally “Logos” which roughly translated actually does not mean merely “word,” but also “speech,” “principle,” “meaning” or “thought.” In Greek philosophy, it is also referred to as Divine Reason or the Mind of God. So, it could mean God speaking life into being, linking it to the first verses from Genesis when God is said to have breathed life into being, remembering always that he saw this creation as “Good”. So “word” here means, in my view, that life is the meaning coming into being and Jesus is the example of this in human form. An example we can all aspire to. For we can all incarnate Love, we can all be a part of the Divine creation. It begins in our words and how we say these words for they are an expression of our meaning. It also begins in how we listen to others. Our ability for each to share, an open loving invitation. This Divine activity. This space between us is the Kin-dom of Love.

When we speak we are not merely flapping our lips, vibrating air we are engaged in Divine activity we are creating or destroying life. It is the same with listening. If we listen with ears of heart we are creating sacred space, this Kin-dom of Love.

So, it is not just about what we say, the words we us, but the meaning behind them. This brings a whole deeper meaning to the phrase “The word (Logos, meaning the Meaning”, became flesh and dwelt amongst us. We embody our meaning through the words we use and how we use words.

Last Sunday afternoon I read a wonderful article in the “i” online newspaper. It was written by Susie Dent of Countdown fame. Susie is my favourite social commentator on social media, she has a gift of commentating on things by the use of language, old and new. She expresses her meaning through words. The article was reflecting on negative language towards the General Election and the England football team, particularly towards Gareth Southgate and the candidates for Prime Minister. Susie suggests this is nothing new and that the English language generally skews towards negativity. A favourite subject for Susie, as I have highlighted before.

As she writes:

“Take the word “happy”, which didn’t appear in English until the 14th century. Until then, you would simply be “glad”. When it did come, happiness leant heavily upon chance. “Hap” meant “fortune” or “fate”, so that “perhaps” means “if fate allows”, a “happening” was a chance occurrence, and “hapless” became a description for someone who never has much luck at all.

The message seems to be that happiness has always been precarious, if not entirely random. In fact, a riffle through a historical thesaurus offers just 12 synonyms for “happy”, and over 50 for the opposite. Just like us, our words seem wired for pessimism.”

She then goes on a journey re words and language for those seeking approval. Stating: “Of course, approval, or the lack of it, is the theme of the moment, whether it involves the England football team or the party leaders seeking our votes. It is also a word with expectation built in: “proof” and “approve” are close relations, meaning that, linguistically at least, approval won’t be given without proof that it is deserved. Without it, many of us stick to the pessimism corner.”

Finally she turns to language and particularly testimony, with reference to the political class, ending with a little humour. She stated:

“Given the chance, our language veers instinctively to the dark side. Perhaps we need more proof and fewer promises to guarantee our approval. Truthful testimony can be hard to find amongst the fakery – on which note, it’s worth saying that “testimony”, from the Latin “testis”, “witness”, and “testicles” are all etymologically one and the same. A man’s testicles were believed to be “witnesses” to his virility. Perhaps talking bollocks has always been part of the deal.”

What we say and the meaning behind our language really matters. Our words are our meaning. It is not just about the words we use, but the meaning behind them. It can be deeply creative or destructive.

Ursula K Le Guin the great 20th century novelist wrote:

“Words are events, they do things, change things. They transform both speaker and hearer; they feed energy back and forth and amplify it. They feed understanding or emotion back and forth and amplify it,”

Words express our meaning and they amplify the meaning of our society and culture. This is why the meaning of words change over time. Remember Logos meant both word and meaning and yet in English translation of the Bible it is always translated as word and not meaning. We need to understand the meaning behind the words we use.

I was admonished the other day for saying something that was considered unkind. It was not meant that way. I was asked a direct question and I gave an honest and thoughtful response, I was actually agreeing with the questioner. That said someone overhearing what I said, replied with the thought that what I said was unkind. On reflection it probably was, although it was not the meaning behind what I said, it was not my intention.

There is a song on the latest New Model Army album “Unbroken” it is called “Language”. The chorus goes something like this.

The language of love will bring us love
The language of war will bring us war
The way that all the words become true
The way that all the words become true
The language of love will bring us love
The language of war will surely bring us war
We choose it, we own it, we choose it, we own it
We choose it, and we own it.

We have to be responsible for the words we use and the meaning behind them. Are they words of love, that play a role in the creation of life. Or are they words of war that play a part in the destruction. Words express our meaning. This something that has disturbed me these last few weeks of the general election and public life in general. We need to be careful with the language we use and what we mean by what we say. No one wins in war, its just that one side loses a little more. I hope that the public discourse will improve now that the electioneering is over.

Now of course language is subtle and complex and often not direct. Metaphor is important, this is particularly true when speaking of the great religious stories. To me they are trying to teach deep truth, but should not be taken as historical fact. Remember mythos originally meant universal truth, not fact.

We all of us, whether we are aware of it or not, use metaphor to name our own experience of life. Such metaphors express our “meaning”. Our personal metaphors, the language we use express our meaning, who we are. I was thinking of this as I thought about the language of war. Such as “Life is like a game of chance — some win, some lose.” Or “Life is like a battlefield — you get the enemy, or the enemy gets you. ”Such metaphors see life as conflict. They are very much Hobbesian world views. Very much the language of the last few weeks.

The metaphor that speaks to me personally, that expresses my logos, my meaning is the weather, or perhaps more accurately the changing seasons of life. I see life as neither strictly one thing or another, this allows a richness of language too. Life is an eternal cycle, ever changing and transforming. You can experience four seasons in one single day. There is joy, there is pain, there is loss and there is gain. There is darkness and there is light. It is important to me to become light in the dark, so that the dark does not overcome the light.

I wonder what are the metaphors of your live?. What is the language you use to speak of yourselves and of life? What is your meaning and how do you bring the meaning to life? Do you speak the language of love or the language of war?

It matters the words we use and the meaning behind them. Are they part of the creation or the destruction of life. Do we speak the language of love, or the language of war?

Please find below a devotion based on the material in this "blogspot"

The Opposite of Schadenfreude: Rejoicing in the Good Fortune of Others

I generally take a positive view of social media, as I do with most aspects of human interaction. When things are used in a positive way they enhance our lives. That said there are downsides. They can be misused. The one I have perhaps struggled with the most is what was once called Twitter and now X. I have never really got it. In fact, beyond posting my blog and videos I rarely interact. There is one person I love on Twitter though, this is Susie Dent from Dictionary Corner on Countdown. She is informative, funny and warm hearted. I have learnt so much from her in recent years as she has shared lost words, often as a way of social commentary. It was Susie who brought “respair” back into public consciousness, that word that means a new or fresh hope. She has also shared lost positive words, that are the opposite of negative versions that have remained in usage. Words like “gruntled”, meaning happy or contended, in good humour, it is the opposite of disgruntled; or “gormful, meaning sensible, not foolish or senseless, the opposite of gormless; or “ruthful”, meaning feeling or expressing pain or sorrow for wrong doing or causing offense, the opposite of ruthless; or feckful, meaning efficient or effective, the opposite of feckless. It is interesting that only the negative versions of these words have survived in common usage.

Another example, of the loss of positives, is the word “resentment”. I resent the word itself. Actually, what I resent is how I and others use the word. The word literally means to re-feel, to re-sense something. That said when we re-feel something wonderful or positive we do not say we resent it. There is no word in common usage that describes a positive way of re-sensing something.

Now one word that is in common usage, but we do not have an equivalent English word for is Schadenfreude, at least not in common usage. We used to have “epicaricacy”, but it has disappeared. Schadenfreude is the experience of pleasure , joy or self-satisfaction that comes from learning of or witnessing the troubles, failures, pain, or humiliation of another. A good example would be when a rival football team loses, or the political party you are opposed to suffers a humiliating loss. Or closer to home, someone trips over, provided they don’t get too hurt. When social media is at its worse it seems to be powered by such feelings; Schadenfreude seems to fuel Twitter or X.

Schadenfreude is derived from “Schaden” meaning damage or harm and “Freude” meaning Joy. We think of it as joy in someone’s misfortune. Now what is frustrating is that there isn’t a equivalent word for the opposite of Schadenfreude, say the joy in someone’s good fortune.

We have all lived through difficult times in recent years. As a result there are folk about who are trying to find ways to spread a little joy, to share good news as an antidote to the negativity abound. As a result people have begun using a new word -a neologism - “freudenfreude”. This is seen as the opposite of Schadenfreude.

“Freudenfreude” is described as positive empathy. It is the ability to feel someone else’s positive emotions as if they were your own. A small study published in the journal “Psychological Science” in August 2021 showed that this type of empathy helps people become kinder, more resilient and satisfied with their lives, it creates a sense of gratitude. It also brings people together, so it is thus an antidote to self-centredness. Social media at its worse can increase this insular self-cented way of seeing life.

Anyone can tap into the power of freudenfreude. All you have to do is look for the good things happening to people around you, look for the small examples of good news, not the big bad news on “X” or printed and tv news. Look around you, celebrate other people’s small successes. When you talk with the people in your life ask them about their joys and share in them. Do not be afraid to share your good news too, do not hide your light, let it shine. Be a bearer of the good news. It helps build community you know, something so needed in ever more isolating and isolated lives. This is not to say that we avoid one another’s troubles, freudenfreude is about developing empathy and you can’t have positive without negative. That said when we say we feel what you feel then we must feel positive as well as painful emotions. To feel with another is to do so wholly. This is true empathy.

Now when I think of someone who exemplified “Freudenfreude” Angela Fowler, a member of one of the congregations I serve, comes straight to mind. Sadly, Angela died on News Years Eve. What an example though of someone who encouraged and enjoyed the achievements of others. She did so much herself, despite her very real struggles in life. She certainly lived a life of gratitude and always made the most of every little thing that life gave to her. Not that Angela would have used the word “Freudenfreude”. She was an expert in language, speaking perfect French and was also fluent in German. So, I don’t want to insult her by not using correct language. Not that she would mind too much as she always encouraged me in my ministry and forgave all my terrible pronunciations.

Thankfully there is another word that means pretty much what “Freudenfreude” does. This is the ancient Sanskrit word “Mudita”. Mudita means vicarious joy or sympathetic joy. It is used in Buddhism to highlight the importance of feeling joy for others good fortune even if, or especially because, you do not directly benefit from it. Again, it suggests something community centred rather than merely self-centred.

There is a similar word in Hebrew too, this is “Firgun”, which describes the ungrudging pleasure one takes in someone else’s good fortune. A kind of generosity of spirit, an unselfish, empathetic joy that something good has happened or might happen to another person. I think both “Firgin” and “Mudita” apply to Angela and I am sure as someone who loved interfaith interaction it speaks powerfully to her personal soul.

I experienced a great deal of “Freudenfreude”, “Mudita” and “Firgin” last weekend. On Friday I was at a good friend, Ian Etto’s, album launch at Manchester Art Gallery. It was wonderful to be with Ian and Jules and countless other people from their lives as they performed and we all joined together in celebration. Both Ian and Jules have had their struggles in life and it was wonderful to see them shine their lights so bright and to be together with others sharing in their joy. On Saturday morning I opened proceedings at Altrincham “Court Leet”. During the proceedings Barbara Thackray, a congregational member, was made a “Freeman” of Altrincham. In recognition for the years of dedicated service raising money for St Anne’s Hospice, following the death of her sister. Barbara took up running about 10 years ago, in her mid 70’s. She runs 10k twice a week and runs in events around the area raising money. She has become bit of a celebrity, appearing all over local news and even being the star of an Adidas advert with Mo Salah, her smiling face being the last image as she runs along. It was such a joy sharing in Barbara’s recognition. So wonderful sharing with these people who are a rich part of my life and the lives of others too, who have known recent joys. Yes it is important to be with others in their struggles, but also their joys. This to me is what loving community is all about. I just wish we had a word in common usage to describe such a feeling and to shine that light bright for all to see. So, I am going to join in with those who are using the word “Freudenfreude”, lets make it word of the year for next year.

You may recall I was deeply effective in a positive way by Rutger Bregman’s “Humankind” a few years ago. It came out just as we went into lockdown during Covid. It was a brilliant book and was an antidote to a great deal of negativity about human nature being peddled at the time. He offered a different perspective and suggested, as many have before, that if we only portray a low opinion and expectation of humanity, then this is what we will see and experience. The problem is that we under estimate our capacity and only really promote bad news and bad behaviour. Now one of the solutions that he suggested is that we should come out of the closet for the good that we do and others do. That we need to learn to celebrate doing good and promote it. I see echoes of Freudenfreude in his proposals.

Now this probably sounds a little shocking as it seems to go against the grain of what we are taught to do, to not boast about the good we do. We need though to let our light shine, so that people see another example other than what we hear and read about on the news.

As Bregman highlights

“Unfortunately, this reticence works like a nocebo. When you disguise yourself as an egoist, you reinforce other people’s cynical assumptions about human nature. Worse by cloaking your good deeds, you place them in quarantine, where they can’t serve as an example for others. And that’s a shame, because Homo puppy’s secret superpower is that we’re so great at copying one another.”

I suspect the same applies with “freudenfreude”. Let us come out the closet about the good we do. Let us learn to celebrate the good fortune of others. Let us hold up these lights and share in each others good news. You never know we might just begin to change our world and become a beautiful antidote to the prevailing cynicism that others promote around the world.

Let us not hide the good in ourselves and each other. Let us not deny the dark, what is wrong in the world. It is there of course it, but it is not all that is there. There is goodness, there is light, there is joy and good things do happen for us and each other.

I’m going to end this morning with a classic story, one I have told before, but one that speaks powerfully to me at our human nature and the nature of life. That each of us has the capacity for good and bad within us, for both Schadenfreude and Freudenfreude, what matters is what aspect of ours and others humanity we shine a light on. It is titled “Two Wolves.”

One winter’s evening whilst gathered round a blazing camp fire, an old Sioux Indian chief told his grandson about the inner struggle that goes on inside people.

“You see” said the old man, “this inner struggle is like two wolves fighting each other. One is evil, full of anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, deceit, false pride, superiority, and ego”.

“The other one,” he continued, poking the fire with a stick so that the fire crackled, sending the flames clawing at the night sky, “is good, full of joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith”.

For a few minutes his grandson pondered his grandfather’s words and then asked, “So which wolf wins, grandfather?”

“Well”, said the wise old chief, his lined face breaking into a wry smile, “The one you feed!”

Please find below a video devotion based on the material in this "blogspot"

 

Common Sense and the Common Good

I recently spent more time than is probably healthy watching the second impeachment of the former US president Donald Trump. Many of the prosecutors spoke powerfully, but one deeply. This was the lead prosecutor Rep Jamie Raskin. His closing remarks hit me in both the head and the heart, they stirred my soul. I was already aware of the personal tragedy that he and his family had recently struggled with. On the 5^th of January he had buried his son Thomas who had sadly taken his own life following a struggle with deep depression. Raskin persuaded several members of his family to attend the capitol building, to be together on January 6^th, they day of the attack that led to Trumps impeachment. Raskin seems to be a man of deep integrity with sense of duty and purpose. Quite remarkable really in this day and age, to stand up and do your duty, even though you and your loved ones were suffering the deepest kind of grief. Raskin though clearly has a sense of a higher purpose than just himself. Of course his grief was not only for the loss of his son, but also for what had happened to his country.

Throughout the trial Raskin invoked Thomas Paine, who his son Tommy was named in honour of. Paine authored the pamphlet “Common Sense”, in which he famously advocated for American independence in 1776. Raskin stated "Senators, America we need to exercise our common sense about what happened," He continued,  "Let's not get caught up in a lot of outlandish lawyers theories here. Exercise your common sense about what just took place in our country." Later he paraphrased Paine again, from another pamphlet called "The Crisis". "Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered, but we have this consolation: The more difficult the struggle, the more glorious in the end will be our victory." During the trial he said “I’m not going to lose my son at the end of 2020 and lose my country and my republic in 2021. It’s not going to happen.” He closed the prosecution case by updating some of Paine’s language, to be more gender inclusive stating  “These are the times that try men and women’s souls.” Raskin appealed to common sense throughout his addresses, urging the 100 hundred senators who were the jury to use theirs “Common Sense is also the sense we all have in common as a community…Exercise your common sense about what just took place in our country” when deciding whether to impeach former President Donald Trump.

Thomas Paine offered a common sense approach to religion, rejecting authority and creeds of any kind. That each is compelled to seek their own truth and that what mattered is how we live our lives as he stated  “I believe that religious duties consist in doing justice, loving mercy, and endeavouring to make our fellow-creatures happy.”

Jamie Raskin and Thomas Paine got me thinking about “common sense” in general and how vital that is not only at this time, but all times. To repeat Raskin “Common Sense is also the sense we all have in common as a community.” Common sense is about seeing things as they actually are and doing what ought to be done, for the common good.

Generally speaking when we talk of “Common Sense” we speak of something innate within us that does not require specialised training. This is true, but it can go too far. We ought to not reject expert views on matters, just because we believe our guts tell us something else or because someone on the internet told us otherwise. This brings to mind an old word shared by Susie Dent from Countdown this week, “ultracrepidarian” a nineteenth century word meaning “a presumptuous critic; one who loves to give opinions on matters they know very little about.

We must trust all our human senses of course we should, including the sixth, what Carl Jung called our “Collective Unconscious”, that said we must never suspend our reason, our capacity to think and have the humility to listen to those who perhaps know more than we do. If recent times have proved anything it is that just because you have a YouTube channel it does not make you an expert. Neither does some ones passion mean they are correct. It brings to mind a cartoon I saw this week that said, “Let me interrupt your expertise with my confidence.”

There is nothing new in this appeal to “Common Sense”. Aristotle described it as the ability in animals, including humans, to process sense-perceptions, memories and imagination to reach judgements. He claimed only humans have true reasoned thinking which takes them beyond common sense. So he seemed to suggest that in and of itself common sense was not enough, we still need to reason.

Our modern understanding of “Common Sense” dates back to the enlightenment era. In French the saying is “Bon Sense” which means “Good Sense”. I suspect that Descartes thought that common sense was pretty uncommon, suggesting that all have access to it, but that it is rarely used well, he suggested that we ought to be skeptical of it. Needless to say common sense did seem to develop during this time, and it was Paine’s “Common Sense” that became the most influential document of its time, influencing the revolutions of both France and America.

“Common Sense” seems vital right now. There has been an urgent appeal to it these last 12 months as we have struggled to live through this pandemic. In an age when trust in “experts” has eroded people have struggled to know who they should trust. Sadly we are living in the age of the “ultracrepidarian”.

“Common Sense” is vital as we continue to roll out the vaccine. Many people are skeptical of the vaccine, they have their fears. I watched a interesting program on Panorama on this only this week. Vaccines: The Disinformation War It focused on a recent video that has been spread throughout the internet primarily targeting folk who have genuine concerns about the vaccines. It is quite effective. There are many forces who are spreading disinformation about the vaccine and it is feeding into people’s fear. Vulnerable people are being targeted and this is dangerous. It is key to listen to those who know what they are talking about and then use our common sense, a sense that is shared by all and yet at times can appear so uncommon. To quote Jamie Raskin again  “Common Sense is also the sense we all have in common as a community.” Remember that we are in this together folks.

I was very grateful last week that both myself and Sue were able to get our first dose of the Astra Zeneca vaccine, due to our work. I do hope that we will all be in this position soon and that we can begin to return to live the lives we would like, to return to a full common community.

The season of Lent has just begun. I trust that you enjoyed your pancakes on Tuesday, on what I like to call “Flat Yorkshire Pudding Day”. How do you eat yours? Do you prefer savoury or sweet? Being a good Yorkshire man I prefer mine with a thick onion gravy. I know that others think that this is utterly disgusting and makes no sense at all. Makes perfect sense to me, after all that a pancake is a flat “Yorkshire Pudding”.

People often give things up for Lent. I personally though prefer to think of what I can give towards the common good, it makes sense to me, rather than give things up. I suspect that we have all had to give up enough these last few months. So let us instead focus on what we can give to the common good, seems like common sense to me.

Matthew’s Gospel, Chapter 4 describes Jesus facing temptation from “The Devil”, now my common sense cannot believe in a literal being that embodies all that is wrong in the world. That said my commonsense has no problem believing that there are voices both within and without that can knock me from my path. It is so easy to be distracted and tempted down so many pathways in life. Which of the voices both within and without do we trust? How do we rely on our senses, so as to make the right decisions in life? It is not always easy or that simple. We live in an age where there is so much distrust. I have a questioning mind and I ask questions of everything. Sometimes I have to ask the common questions that apply to all, I can’t always do as David Whyte suggests ask my own questions and give up on other peoples question, there are at times that common questions matter to us all. There is a common good and there truly is common sense.  To quote Representative Raskin once again “Common Sense is also the sense we all have in common as a community.”

There is a great deal of power in fear and in anger it influences our reason and our decision making. Who and what do we trust? Some say that we should trust our gut. Should we whilst also ignoring our reasoning faculties? What if what our guts are saying is coming from fear? Sometimes your intuitive feeling is the correct thing, but not alone, sometimes it might be completely wrong. I have noticed an example of this in recent weeks. Actually, it has come to light during the weekly quiz. Sometimes the first thought, the instinctive thought, that seemingly comes from nowhere is correct. Answers that come from some strange hidden place, that you didn’t even know you knew. I am unaware of so much until I find myself in conversation with someone and then suddenly this knowledge is there that I was not even conscious of, the human mind is an incredible thing, a complete mystery to me. That said sometimes that intuitive thought has proved to be completely wrong.

Sue and myself have proved to be a good team at these weekly quizzes, but we could have done better if we had not only relied on our gut feelings but also our reason. We have talked ourselves out of the correct answer on several occasions. One example was last week. We were asked where Mozart was born, which city? Now I knew he was Austrian and so we said to ourselves Vienna, the obvious answer. I then began to doubt this initial feeling and kept on saying, "I don’t think that is right, for some reason I think he was born in Saltzburg." We did not trust this reasoning and stuck with our initial answer Vienna. Mozart of course was born in Saltzburg. It didn’t matter as we won the quiz that week. That said it was still frustrating.

So how do we find the common sense, which seems so un-common at times; how do we trust that sense that we all have in common? Maybe Jamie Raskin can be the example to follow. He stayed true to his moral compass, he followed the greater common good, despite living with intense personal grief. He is certainly an example to me in this time when such people are portrayed as folk who should not be trusted. We have lived through a difficult year, there is light at the end of the tunnel. There is a fresh hope, there is "Respair", if we remain sensible if we live with common sense, a sense that we all have in common a sense that considers the common good, the good of all. It is up to us, it is up to all of us.