Making Time for Active Empathy

I have a friend who is a therapist. She has recently been creating videos about the work she offers, particularly those who have been involved in difficult and or abusive relationships. She posted a video on seven traits of Narcissism. One trait being a lack of empathy. It got me thinking about empathy and how vital it is to human flourishing and relationships.

Empathy has been in the public consciousness in recent months. It has come under a certain amount of criticism, which personally I have found hard to fathom. There is even a phrase amongst some sections of Evangelical Christianity. The phrase being “The Sin of Empathy”. In their view of their faith “empathy” can blur what they see as right and wrong, that empathy leads to people feeling with others, rather than correcting them and empathy leads to manipulation. It is view not held by most Christians, but is one that has grown in prominence in recent years. I have heard others talk of problems with empathy too. That it can be exploited and some see it as a danger to civilisation itself. I wonder if what is being discussed is actually empathy.

So what exactly is empathy? To empathise with another is an attempt to walk in another shoes, to feel what they are feeling, to understand things from their perspective. This is not easy by the way and no one should ever pretend it is. It takes effort and is a conscious decisions that is made and practised. To empathise with another, is not necessarily to act as a result of this, but to feel with them. It is not the same as sympathy which is less intimate and a more detached response. We express sympathy for a persons situation, perhaps following a bereavement, but we may not necessarily empathise with them. Compassion is sometimes confused with empathy. Compassion though is a response to empathy or sympathy and is a desire to act in order to ease another’s suffering.

I believe that empathy is the key to true human flourishing, but it is a real challenge. At its heart is the recognition that we are all born from the same flesh and have the same spirit running through us. That everything in life is interconnected. Echoed in those words of Jesus, what you do to the least of them you do to me; echoed by the great mystic Meister Eckhart “What happens to another happens to you”. Recognised by the Buddha who advised us to “See yourself in others, then whom can you hurt?” Empathy is an orientation of the spirit. I believe that it is key to reaching our highest human potential and the key to civilisation. It is the lack of empathy in seeing others as different that is a threat to human flourishing. As Hannah Arendt observed “The death of human empathy is one of the earliest and most telling signs of a culture falling into barbarism”. I think at the heart of human brutality is the failure to recognise the common humanity of another. At the heart of this is a lack of empathy. If we have no empathy we cannot live with compassion and or mercy.

I would like to share with you a short poem by the wonderful farmer poet Wendell Berry “If we have no compassion”

“If we have no compassion,” by Wendell Berry

If we have become a people incapable of thought,
then the brute-thought
of mere power and mere greed
will think for us.

If we have become incapable
of denying ourselves anything,
then all that we have
will be taken from us.

If we have no compassion,
we will suffer alone, we will suffer
alone the destruction of ourselves.

these are merely the laws of this world
as known to Shakespeare, as known to Milton.

When we cease from human thought,
a low and effective cunning
stirs in the most inhuman minds.

Back to “Empathy”. Etymologically speaking the word “Empathy” comes from an ancient Greek word “Empatheia” from “em” meaning “In” and “pathos” meaning feeling. From this came the nineteenth century German word “Einfuhling”, from which we got the word Empathy.

Now while empathy has been at the heart of human civilisation, the word is actually quite new. It only began to be used at the beginning of the twentieth century. Interestingly it originated in the appreciation of art, where it was used to describe the imaginative activity of projecting yourself into a work of art as an effort to understand why we are moved by such creativity. The word has it’s Genesis in the work of German doctor Wilhelm Wundt who almost by accident gave birth to psychology and the philosopher Theodor Lipps. Lipps originated what was then considered a radical idea, that the power of art was not so much in the work itself but in the viewer actively engaging in it. The power is in “The Creative Interchange”

In “You Must Change Your Life: The Story of Rainer Maria Rilke and Auguste Rodin” Rachel Corbett explained how this developed.

“The moment a viewer recognizes a painting as beautiful, it transforms from an object into a work of art. The act of looking, then, becomes a creative process, and the viewer becomes the artist.”

…She continued…

“Lipps found a name for his theory in an 1873 dissertation by a German aesthetics student named Robert Vischer. When people project their emotions, ideas or memories onto objects they enact a process that Vischer called einfühlung, literally “feeling into.” The British psychologist Edward Titchener translated the word into English as “empathy” in 1909, deriving it from the Greek empatheia, or “in pathos.” For Vischer, einfühlung revealed why a work of art caused an observer to unconsciously “move in and with the forms.” He dubbed this bodily mimesis “muscular empathy,” a concept that resonated with Lipps, who once attended a dance recital and felt himself “striving and performing” with the dancers. He also linked this idea to other somatosensory imitations, like yawns and laughter.”

Isn’t it so true how yawning and laughing can be infectious. When we laugh and or yawn together we are feeling with each other. Empathy is to feel with another. It is to recognise ourself in the other and the other in ourselves. This can be difficult and painful at times. It takes effort. I would say it is a moral and spiritual practice. It can be taught and learnt and developed.

I recently went to prison. It was only as a visitors sharing my experience of with a group of inmates who themselves are trying to find recovery. In them I saw myself and I saw myself in them. I empathise with them deeply. I was humbled and moved by the whole experience. I saw deep care for one another. How they were supporting one another in what is as challenging an environment as you could live in. I felt deeply with them, I empathised.

“Empathy” is taught in Danish schools. Since 1993 it has been part of their “National Curriculum” It is named “Klassens time”, during which children can seek advice from peers, learn empathy, conflict resolution as well as strengthen their relationships and sense of community.

“Klassens time” is a step by step program. Students are shown cards that feature children experiencing different emotions, such as sadness, anger, and happiness. They are asked to not just identify the emotion, but to explain what it means to them. They learn how to interpret others’ emotions and how they make them feel. They are not taught to judge the emotions, just to recognise and respect them.

In an essay in “The Atlantic” Jessica Alexander, author of “The Danish Way of Parenting” explains why in “Klassen time” children of different strengths and weakness are mixed together. She wrote: “The goal is for the students to see that everyone has positive qualities and to support each other in their efforts reach the next level,” Adding further that: “The math whiz may be terrible at soccer, and vice versa. This system fosters collaboration, teamwork, and respect.”

Maybe we could all learn something from the Danish education system. It will certainly helps see we are all one and another. That we are all formed from the same flash and have the same spirit flowing through us. It will allow us to thrive and be who we are whilst also understanding that others have similar needs. Not to become clones and all alike, but to truly be all that we can be.

Empathy is not easy, it takes effort. It can seem too much at times, especially in this our modern age. A time when we are bombarded by fear of the other. Where there are voices decrying empathy and suggesting it might be a problem, or at least that there is an “empathy exploit” which maybe leading to what Gad Saad has described as “civilisational suicidal empathy”.

It is a view I don’t share. I think the problem is a lack of empathy. We need to develop empathy in its truest sense, to feel with another, to understand one another better. To value each other as we are, to enable one another to thrive as individuals and society as a whole.

There is a need for “Active Empathy”, the type being taught in Danish schools. Something that I believe that free religious communities such as ours ought to be about. Active empathy is about opening our whole being to others. We do this not by forcing ourselves upon them, but by allowing them to be themselves around us. This is true openness. This is invitation. When I say come as you are, exactly as you are, this is what I mean; when I say, “but do not expect to leave in exactly the same condition,” this is what I mean. This is the purpose of religious experience, that of transformation. This is not to suggest that we are fundamentally wrong, no it is more that we can become who we are wholly and at the same time invite others to do the same. Empathy and particularly active empathy is the key.

Of course this begs the question, how do we bring this about?

Well, I was reminded this week of the work of Karen Armstrong and her book “12 Steps to a Compassionate Life”. It came to me after I returned from prison. In it she offers a meditative practise as a starting point. It begins by imagining Confucius’ “Concentric Circles of Compassion”, beginning within ourselves and then moving out in ever widening circles until it touches the whole world.

The meditation suggests that we turn our attention to three individuals that we know. The three being an acquaintance we are not too closely connected to; someone we hold dear to our hearts; someone to whom we bear a grudge or hold resentment against. Armstrong suggests that we bring each one to our mind, to picture them and to name them. To bring to mind their good points; to look into their hearts and see their pain and to desire for each of them to be free of their pain and finally to resolve to help them in any way that we can; to wish for them whatever it is we desire for ourselves; to live by the Golden Rule. The purpose of the meditation is to develop upeksha ‘equanimity, which will allow us to relate to people with equanimity. Of course this is difficult to practice, but if stuck with, over a period of time, results are sure to follow.

Through developing empathy we will truly be able to practise compassion in our daily lives. Practise does indeed make perfect. Well maybe not perfect, but better. Opera singers have to train for years, as do dancers and even ministers for that matter, doctors are not made overnight and neither are decent spin bowlers. All these crafts take time, dedication and consistent effort. It is worth it though.

Through the practise of empathy we can live truly connected lives and we will no longer feel that sense of separation and aloneness that so many people seem to suffer from. Through practise we can grow into what Schweitzer described as a "spiritual relationship with the Universe" and we will develop reverence for all life, including our own.

Empathy is a choice, a decision and I believe it is vital to human flourishing. It doesn’t just happen. It is a choice we make to pay attention, to extend ourselves beyond the confines of our singular selves. Empathy is an intention. It is intention to create something better not only for ourselves and current neighbours, but for those who will follow when we are long gone.

Please find below a video devotion based on the material in this "blog spot"

Every day you have less reason not to give yourself away

I will begin with something from my favourite farmer poet, the wonderful Wendell Berry. The following is often seen as a poem about death and dying but really it is about generosity the most living giving of all virtues.

Sabbaths – 1993, I

No, no, there is no going back.
Less and less you are
that possibility you were.
More and more you have become
those lives and deaths
that have belonged to you.
You have become a sort of grave
containing much that was
and is no more in time, beloved
then, now, and always.
And you have become a sort of tree
standing over a grave.
Now more than ever you can be
generous toward each day
that comes, young, to disappear
forever, and yet remain
unaging in the mind.
Every day you have less reason
not to give yourself away.

“Every day you have less reason not to give yourself away.”

How was your Christmas and New Year. I had a lovely, quiet and restful couple of days on Christmas and Boxing Day. It was just what I needed as I was very tired, exhausted actually. I had given so much of late and had to face some difficult challenges over the last few months. I had though come through it with faith and integrity. I feel strengthen by this. I have felt so deeply loved and supported too, this has meant so much. I have been truly comforted, held with assurance, from both visible and invisible hands. I have seen myself and I have seen the world through fresher eyes, this is never easy. I have given a lot too. I felt deeply, I see more clearly how I am a deeply sensitive soul. This is not always easy. I have though lived with integrity, and I feel a deeper sense of connection and aliveness as a result of this.

I caught up with family after some time alone and saw most of the people I wanted to see. I would have liked to have seen one or two friends, but that just wasn’t possible. There will be other times. I did hear from a dear old friend on New Year’s Eve. He has been close to death and I plan to see him in the New Year.

It was lovely being with people who have known me all my life, there was a deeper love. They have their own troubles and we shared a little about that. One or two made comments about my life in recent months. It was said to me, in a variety of ways, be careful not to give yourself away too much. I smiled at this. It was said from a place of love, but not one of true understanding One of things I have a greater understanding of these last few months is that I am who I am and it is vital for me to live life my way and not try to be something I am not. I smiled to myself at this loving concern, but I suspect I will be giving myself away quite a bit these next twelve months. I am what I am.

“Don’t give yourself away too much” I was smiling about this as I drove through the fog on the M62. I am not sure exactly how to do that. I am who I am. One thing I have noticed about myself these last few months has been a deeper acceptance of who I am and the world in which I live and breath. Doesn’t mean I give the way things are my approval, more that I have a deeper acceptance that his is how it is. Delusion about reality is of no use to anyone. It is vital to live with an awakened eye.

I’ve been thinking of Wendell Berry’s poem “Sabbath’s”, once again these last few days. It is a New Year poem I reckon. It is the end of the poem that really gets into the heart of me. “Every day you have less reason not to give yourself away.”

I have learnt that if you truly want to know yourself, this is how you do it. This is how you will find yourself, how to know love, how your very being gets transformed and you become who you truly are, by giving yourself away. By pouring your heart out, you fill it with love and your mind and spirit know peace. This is the purpose of the religious of life of living in true intimate spiritual community. You cannot experience this if you practise your spirituality in isolation, something I have felt more deeply of late.

Religion gets a very bad name these days and rightly so, as for too long it has been about control and dogma, but that is not really its purpose, not in it truest sense. It is about giving yourself away and in so doing you actually not only find yourself, but become who you truly are.

This brings to mind a favourite quotation on the purpose of true religion, by Karen Armstrong:

“Religion is not about accepting twenty impossible propositions before breakfast, but about doing things that change you. It is a moral aesthetic, an ethical alchemy. If you behave in a certain way, you will be transformed.” When we dare to move beyond the known patterns and perceptions of our lives, letting the alchemy of love, listening and justice do its work, then we will be more than changed. The base metals of our lives will be transformed into something precious and flourishing. This is the purpose of religion, and the meaning of a religious life: to be transformed.”

These thoughts were passing through my being as I reflected on the recent weeks of my life and the people I have shared this time with. I see so many gorgeous examples of this transformation in them. Just beautiful!

Again as Wendell Berry wrote “Every day you have less reason not to give yourself away.”

This is about living generously. My word I have witnessed a lot this in the ordinary people I share my life with. I’m not talking about on the big global scale, I’m talking about the communities that intersect my life. When I look at the big picture, on the news screens, what I see is selfishness and greed and yet when I look at the people around me, what I witness is people being generous, people giving themselves away. It fills my heart.

As Parker J Palmer has pointed out generosity does not require material abundance. When I look at the people I have been around in recent weeks, what I have witnessed is generosity of spirit, generosity of time and generosity of heart. I’ve witnessed it every time I’ve been to visit in hospital as I have looked at the people all around me. I have witnessed people giving their time, their support, their open hearted presence, their hope even in the suffering of their loved ones. These are our gifts of the self. This is how we bring that divine love alive. This is the alchemy that transforms life. This is the heart of true religion. This is gratitude in action, this is living with gratitude, this is abundance, extravagance, this is God incarnating in out ordinary human lives. Sadly too often we are afraid to do this. In fact we are told over and over again “Don’t give yourself away.”

Why?

What are we so afraid of?

No! Times is passing by, it is short “Everyday day you have less reason not to give yourself away.”

It’s that simply really and yet at times it seems so complicated. This is the transformative nature of the religious life, the free religious life at least. It comes alive, as we come alive when we give ourselves away.

It brings to my mind another favourite poem that came back into my heart in those days between Christmas and New year, “Accepting this “ by Mark Nepo

“Accepting this “ by Mark Nepo

Yes, it is true. I confess,
I have thought great thoughts,
and sung great songs—all of it
rehearsal for the majesty
of being held.

The dream is awakened
when thinking I love you
and life begins
when saying I love you
and joy moves like blood
when embracing others with love.

My efforts now turn
from trying to outrun suffering
to accepting love wherever
I can find it.

Stripped of causes and plans
and things to strive for,
I have discovered everything
I could need or ask for
is right here—
in flawed abundance.

We cannot eliminate hunger,
but we can feed each other.

We cannot eliminate loneliness,
but we can hold each other.

We cannot eliminate pain,
but we can live a life
of compassion.

Ultimately,
we are small living things

awakened in the stream,
not gods who carve out rivers.

Like human fish,
we’re asked to experience
meaning in the life that moves
through the gill of our heart.

There is nothing to do
and nowhere to go.
Accepting this,
we can do everything
and go anywhere.

There are so many beautiful paradoxes in this poem; paradoxes that speak to me of what it means to live spiritually alive; spiritually alive and in the company of others. I have witnessed and experienced so much of what it speaks of these last few weeks, this has filled my heart and humbled me. I have borne witness to how the spirit only comes alive in relation. That’s what the spiritual life is actually about you know, relationships. You cannot be a spiritual being, a living one at least in isolation. It only occurs truly in community, as messy as that can be. The more we give ourselves away, the more all will receive, that strange arithmetic of giving, that multiplies by subtraction.

I’m going to end today with a confession. I hope you can forgive me. Life is an utter mystery to me. It just doesn’t make sense. I know my own life doesn’t, well not completely. I don’t understand it, I just can’t make sense of it. I am at ease with this. The other day I felt so free as I was out in the park walking with Molly, just chatting with the folk I meet. My head as completely empty and my heart was full and I felt this incredible sense of belonging and well-being and pure love. I felt powerfully the presence of God and every person I looked at that day seemed to me to be made in that image.

All I do know is that every day I have less reason not to give myself away.

Maybe that is all I really need to know, maybe all I have to do is keep on remembering this and keep on giving myself away. The next time I forget, please remind me.

“Every day I have less reason not to give myself away.

Please find below a video devotion based on the material in this "blogspot"

Give Yourself Away

...This little "blogspot" begins with this beautiful piece of wisdom...

Parker J Palmer Reflecting of “Sabbath’s” by Wendell Berry taken from “On Being”

One of my favourite poets is Wendell Berry the following is often seen as a poem about death and dying but really it is about generosity the most living giving of all virtues. “Sabbaths” by Wendell Berry

Sabbaths – 1993, I

No, no, there is no going back.
Less and less you are
that possibility you were.
More and more you have become
those lives and deaths
that have belonged to you.
You have become a sort of grave
containing much that was
and is no more in time, beloved
then, now, and always.
And you have become a sort of tree
standing over a grave.
Now more than ever you can be
generous toward each day
that comes, young, to disappear
forever, and yet remain
unaging in the mind.
Every day you have less reason
not to give yourself away.

Generosity does not require material abundance. When I think back on the many people who have been so generous toward me, I never think of money or “things.” Instead, I think of the way they gave me their presence, their confidence, their affirmation, support, and blessing — all gifts of “self” that any of us can give.

And where does generosity come from? Perhaps from another life-giving virtue, the one called gratitude. When I take the time to breathe in my life and breathe out my gratitude for the gifts I’ve been given, only one question arises: “How can I keep these gifts alive?”

I know only one answer: “Become a giver yourself, pass your gifts along, and do it extravagantly!” As Wendell Berry “Every day you have less reason/not to give yourself away.”

...I do love Parker J Palmer, he speaks to the soul of me. I love the way he brings Wendell Berry's words to life...

When I awoke on Monday morning, the start of not only a new week, but also a new year, I should have been tired. By rights I should have been utterly exhausted, I certainly expected be so.

Now don’t get me wrong I didn’t leap out of bed, I simply rose into the day. That said I felt so alive. Why was this? By rights I should have been exhausted. I had certainly felt that way for a few days leading up to the New Year. I don’t think I’ve been busier than I have been this last month, so many demands, that I have mainly fulfilled and cheerfully. I’ve got a busy few weeks ahead, this week has been very full too.

Last Sunday began early at about 6.30am and it didn’t end until gone 2am, early New Year’s morning. I had led worship at both of the congregations I serve in the morning as well as other pastoral duties and then hosted a New Years Social and Watch Night service. It’s been full on for weeks, I’ve been giving myself away and its felt like I’ve been running on empty. So by rights, by all reason I ought to have awoken on Monday morning, have begun the New Year, exhausted and utterly empty. 

Several people had said to me these last few weeks, “Don’t give too much of yourself away.” I was thinking about this last Saturday evening as I felt utterly exhausted and knew that the next day was going to be a challenge. I would be spending the best part of 24 hours holding the space for others. I wondered, would I be up to it. I spent time in prayer and meditation, preparing myself, emptying my mind and filling my heart.

I’ve heard this phrase a lot over the years “Don’t give yourself away.” I question it, I'm not convinced it is helpful, if anything all it does is restrict life, reduce experience and keeps one lonely and isolated. I think the reason I felt so alive on News Years morning is that I had indeed been giving myself away and I’d been sharing in the company of so many other people who had also been giving themselves away. People simply coming together in love, with hearts burst open. On Monday morning my head felt completely clear and at peace, my heart was burst to overflowing and the soul of me had never felt more alive. I had spent so much time in intimate, spiritual community. I was experiencing, what I call true, free and loving religion. Religion as it is meant to be.

I’ve been thinking of Wendell Berry’s poem “Sabbath’s and Parker J Palmer's reflection on it, these last few days. I had shared it during the “Watch Night” service I had led. Like Palmer highlights it is the poem's ending that really gets into the heart of me and I know it got to others too, during the service. “Every day you have less reason not to give yourself away.”

I have learnt that if you truly want to know yourself, this is how you do it. This is how you will find yourself, how to know love, how your very being gets transformed and you become who you truly are, by giving yourself away. By pouring your heart out, you fill it with love and your mind and spirit know peace. This is the purpose of the religious life of living in true intimate spiritual community. You cannot experience this if you practise your spirituality in isolation. This is what I have experienced even more deeply this last month.

Religion gets a very bad name these days and rightly so, as for too long it has been about control and dogma, but that is not really its purpose, not in it truest sense. I think the core of religion is self transcendence, t is about giving yourself away and in so doing you actually not only find yourself, but become who you truly are.

This brings to mind a favourite quotation on the purpose of true religion, by Karen Armstrong:

“Religion is not about accepting twenty impossible propositions before breakfast, but about doing things that change you. It is a moral aesthetic, an ethical alchemy. If you behave in a certain way, you will be transformed.” When we dare to move beyond the known patterns and perceptions of our lives, letting the alchemy of love, listening and justice do its work, then we will be more than changed. The base metals of our lives will be transformed into something precious and flourishing. This is the purpose of religion, and the meaning of a religious life: to be transformed."

These thoughts about the true nature of religious living were passing through my being as I reflected on the recent weeks of my life and the people I have shared this time with. I see so many gorgeous examples of this transformation in them. Just beautiful!

Again as Wendell Berry wrote “Every day you have less reason not to give yourself away.”

This is about living generously. My word I have witnessed this a lot this in the ordinary people I share my life with. I’m not talking about on the big global scale, I’m talking about the communities that intersect my life. When I look at the big picture, on the news screens, what I see is selfishness and greed and yet when I look at the people around me, what I witness is people being generous, people giving themselves away. It fills my heart. By the way I'm not saying that this is all that is there, no just what is reported. They only tell us about the bad news, so rarely do we hear good news. Look around you, it is there.

As Parker J Palmer has pointed out generosity does not require material abundance. When I look at the people I have been around in recent weeks, what I have witnessed is generosity of spirit, generosity of time and generosity of heart. I’ve witnessed it every time I’ve been visiting in hospital as I have looked at the people all around me. I have witnessed people giving their time, their support, their open hearted presence, their hope even in the suffering of their loved ones. These are our gifts of the self. This is how we bring that divine love alive. This is the alchemy that transforms life. This is the heart of true religion. This is gratitude in action, this is living with gratitude, this is abundance, extravagance, this is God incarnating in out ordinary human lives.

Sadly too often we are afraid to do this. In fact we are told over and over again “Don’t give yourself away.”

Why?

What are we so afraid?

No! Times is passing by, it is short “Everyday day you have less reason not to give yourself away.”

It’s that simply really and yet at times it seems so complicated. This is the transformative nature of the religious life. It comes alive, as we come alive when we give ourselves away.

Another poem I’ve been thinking of a lot these last few days is “Accepting this “ by Mark Nepo

Yes, it is true. I confess,
I have thought great thoughts,
and sung great songs—all of it
rehearsal for the majesty
of being held.

The dream is awakened
when thinking I love you
and life begins
when saying I love you
and joy moves like blood
when embracing others with love.

My efforts now turn
from trying to outrun suffering
to accepting love wherever
I can find it.

Stripped of causes and plans
and things to strive for,
I have discovered everything
I could need or ask for
is right here—
in flawed abundance.

We cannot eliminate hunger,
but we can feed each other.

We cannot eliminate loneliness,
but we can hold each other.

We cannot eliminate pain,
but we can live a life
of compassion.

Ultimately,
we are small living things

awakened in the stream,
not gods who carve out rivers.

Like human fish,
we’re asked to experience
meaning in the life that moves
through the gill of our heart.

There is nothing to do
and nowhere to go.
Accepting this,
we can do everything
and go anywhere.

So many beautiful paradoxes in this poem that speak to me of what it means to live spiritually alive and in the company of others. I have witnessed and experienced so much of what it speaks of these last few weeks and it has filled my heart and humbled me. I have bared witness to how the spirit only comes alive in relation. That’s what the spiritual life is actually about you know, relationships. You cannot be a spiritual being, a living one at least in isolation. It only occurs truly in community, as messy as that can be. In so doing we may not transform the world, but we certainly transform ourselves, in that very relationship and this may just one day transform our shared world. I live in and through hope.

I’m going to end this little chip pof a "blogspot" with a confession. I hope you can forgive me. Life is an utter mystery to me. It just doesn’t make sense. I know my own life doesn’t. I don’t understand any of it, I just can’t make sense of it. Last Monday morning this didn't seem to bother me. My head was completely empty and my heart was full and I felt this incredible sense of belonging and well-being and pure love. I felt powerfully the presence of God and every person I looked at that day seemed to me to be made in that image. I felt this new sense of wanting to be a aprt of the love of this world, to be in relationship with it all.

If I know nothing else I know that every day I have less reason not to give myself away.

Maybe that is all I really need to know, maybe all I have to do is keep on remembering this and keep on giving myself away. The next time I forget, please remind me.

Gandhi's Seven Social Sins

There are many things that trouble us, all of us, in different ways. If I was to sit and spend all my life focusing on what I see as unhelpful, as wrong in life, no doubt I would never leave the house and even there I wouldn’t feel safe. In so doing I would be committing what I have heard described as the greatest sin of all, to fail to exist, to live and unlived life. I have wasted enough years doing that and I refuse to do so ever again.

Despite its very real troubles I have faith in life, a love for life. I believe in life. To quote William James. 'These, then, are my last words to you: Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact.' " I have found this to be 100% true.

I was recently chatting with someone I love dearly, it was not an easy conversation, but it was essential. I have had this conversation with them before. The first time I found it almost unbearable it was too painful to hear. Thankfully I love them enough to listen to their pain. What was clear was that they had been ruled by fear all their life; for all their life they had been dominated by fear. Gosh how I wish I could relieve them of it, but alas I cannot. No one can.

Fear is a deeply powerful emotion, it can be crippling in its power, which is why so many of the dark forces of life employ it to control and dominate. In many ways this is perhaps the root of human sin if you like, this use and or instilling of fear to dominate others, it seems to be the root of so many of our human troubles.

No area of life is exempt from using fear in their attempts to get what they believe is right. It has been one of the great evils of religion of course. How often have people been subjugated by fear in so many ways. Modern advertising does it too, in their attempts to sell us a lifestyle that will take all our troubles away and you see it very clearly in politics, particularly around election time. I never saw this more clearly than during last year’s EU referendum and we have seen it again in recent weeks as we have approached last Thursday’s General Election. As each one passes I see the seeds of division being sown and it troubles me deeply, we also see scapegoating too on the increase. This bothers me greatly too and I know I am not immune from this either. I have blamed others for my troubles.

Now of course the temptation is to withdraw, to crawl under some kind of fear based spiritual rock and refuse to engage. This is fear of the highest order, it is selfish and a rejection of life. The spiritual life can only be lived in reality. Its purpose is to bring healing and not to sow seeds of division. We are all in this together regardless of our views about how life ought to be. The spiritual life has to be an ethical life.

If the spiritual life has to be ethical, then how do we live such a life without causing harm and sowing those seeds of division. Well I believe it begins by first of all recognising our one shared humanity. Recognising that we are all formed by the same substance and have the same spirit flowing through us, that not one of us is perfect we all fall short of our attempted ideals, we are all sinners in that sense, we are all driven at times by fear and we are all open to the transformative power of love, no one is beyond redemption. We are all more human than otherwise.

Throughout human history many have attempted to show us ways to live a more ethical life. In recent years Karen Armstrong wrote her “12 steps to a Compassionate Life”, it inspired my early ministry. I spoke of it constantly and I led groups exploring her ideas. It was her attempt to return compassion back to the centre of the social, economic, political and spiritual life. There have been others who have spoken of what has blocked us from living the ethical life. Towards the end of the sixth century Pope Gregory came up with “The Seven Deadly Sins”, which were based on Greek philosophy. The seven were Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Wrath, Envy and Pride. Unlike the “Ten Commandments” they contained no “Thou Shalt Not’s”, instead they were designed to aid the individual to examine the state of their being.

Now the main problem with the list is that they were still an examination of our inner life and not an examination of how we live our lives.

During the 20th century Mohatma Gandhi published another list. It was named “The Seven Social Sins” and was published in his newspaper “Young India” on October 22nd 1925. The list is as follows:

Wealth without Work.
Pleasure without Conscience.
Knowledge without Character.
Commerce without Morality.
Science without Humanity.
Worship without Sacrifice.
Politics without Principles.

The list had sprung from a correspondence that Gandhi had with someone who he only identified as a “fair friend.” It is understood that the list comes from sermon first delivered at West Minster Abbey. He published the list without commentary. All Gandhi said was : “Naturally, the friend does not want the readers to know these things merely through the intellect but to know them through the heart so as to avoid them.”

Is that possible? Can these seven been known by the heart, so that we can avoid them in our daily living. The focus of the list is on our conduct in society. It is salvation by not only faith but also works, how we live our lives in our daily interactions. They seem firmly in keeping with his own spiritual ethics of non-violence and interdependence and each one is an example of selfishness overcoming the common good. As he himself said "A person cannot do right in one department whilst attempting to do wrong in another department. Life is one indivisible whole. " It is said that Gandhi believed that these social sins were a greater threat to society than the personal sins listed by Pope Gregory.

Many years later in 1947 Gandhi gave the very same list, this time under title “the seven blunders that human society commits, and that cause all the violence”, to his fifth grandson Arun. Sadly within three months Gandhi had been murdered by a Hindu extremist who obviously had fallen into the trap, that so many do. and made Gandhi the scapegoat for so many of the countries troubles. So often the great and the good are destroyed by the violence that is given birth to by fear, by seeing others as something other than human. Sadly things have not changed in the last seventy years.

What do you think of Gandhi’s list? I like them. I think they are a great model for the spiritual life, for living a life of ethical principle and dignity, by attempting to overcome them. In so doing we can begin to bring to life the loving compassion that Karen Armstrong is promoting, a love that is the essence of all the great traditions. We see this love expressed in the teachings of Jesus, it is worth noting that Gandhi, although a Hindu, read the Gospels every day, believed that the Sermon on the Mount was the model of the good life and saw Jesus as the embodiment of Satyagraha. That his life was an example of how to live the spiritual and ethical life. If we were to adopt the principles that would ensure that we avoid living by these sins or blunders then we would begin to create the society that at its core would be justice, equity and compassion. 

Is this possible can we live the spiritual and ethical life can we live in such a way as to avoid these seven sins or blunders as Gandhi named them? I wonder what do these seven statements bring to your heart, mind and soul? I wonder if you can think of examples, in today’s world, of any or even each of them? What about your own life, where do you fall short? How could you begin to live a more connected life?

We all fall short of the mark, every single one of us. None of us is perfect, perhaps it is this as much as anything that makes us more human than otherwise. It is important to understand that to sin originally meant to fall short of the mark, the word "sinare" was an archery term that literally meant this. By the way when I write of sin here I am not writing of original sin, I do not believe that anyone is born this way, it's just that none of us hit the mark every time. In what ways can we aim higher and therefore raise the targets we reach when we all fall short? By the way it’s worth remembering this when we look at the specks in the eyes of others and fail to see the log in our own.

I firmly believe that to live the ethical life requires us to grow spiritually to take care of our inner life, certainly this was Gandhi’s view too. This leads me to ask you who read this "blogsot" to do me a favour. I'd like you to think of ways that this can be achieved, how can we improve our inner lives so that we can be more effective in our own homes and communities and therefore live more ethically. How do we improve our inner lives so as to see where we fall short and therefore live more ethically?

It is easy to look at others and point out where they fall short of the mark, to scapegoat, to blame; it is perhaps less easy to look at ourselves and to see how we fail to live up to the ideals of justice, equity and compassion. The truth is we all fall short of the mark, we are all far more human than otherwise and that perhaps when we criticise others for their very human shortcomings what we are really doing is deflecting from where we ourselves fall short. The truth is we can do something about ourselves, if we take care of our own spiritual needs, where as we can’t change others. We can inspire them by the way we live, but we cannot change them

We can aim way above these “Seven Social Sins”

Wealth without work.
Pleasure without conscience.
Knowledge without character.
Commerce without morality.
Science without humanity.
Worship without sacrifice.
Politics without principles.

Lessons from the Animals

Every year I conduct an "Animal Blessing" service. It is held on the first Sunday in October, the nearest one to the Feast Day of St Francis. This year we looked at animals as teachers. We explored what lessons we could learn from the animals around us and in our lives. This blog includes material and thoughts that we shared in worship. The first piece is taken from “Journeying in Place” by Gunilla Norris

“What I learned is that of all the creatures that I can see in this landscape, the geese best represent the communion of saints. They depend on one another. The lead goose does the most work, but when it is tired, it falls back and another takes its place. To be able to rely on others is a deep trust that does not come easily. The geese fly in the wake of one another’s wings. They literally get a lift from one another. I want to be with others this way. Geese tell me that it is, indeed, possible to fly with equals."

Geese and the way that they fly can teach us so much about what means to live in spiritual community, what a congregation or any loving community ought to be about. One of mutual love, support and interconnection. Yes one where the individual is encouraged to be all that they can be, but who can only truly become all that they can be through living in common unity, through living in and being in love.

The following is taken from “Medicine Cards” by Jamie Sims and David Carson

"All animals are sacred, but in many traditions White Buffalo is most sacred. The appearance of White Buffalo is a sign that prayers are being heard, that the sacred pipe is being honored, and that the promises of prophesy are being fulfilled. White Buffalo signals a time of abundance and plenty.

Buffalo was the major source of sustenance for the Plains Indians. It gave meat for food, hides for clothing, warm and soft robes for long winters, and hooves for glue. The medicine of Buffalo is prayer, gratitude and praise for that which has been received. Buffalo medicine is also knowing that abundance is present when all relations are honored as sacred, and when gratitude is expressed to every living part of creation.

Because of its desire to give the gifts that its body provided, and because of its willingness to be used on Earth for the highest good before entering the hunting grounds of Spirit, Buffalo did not readily stampede and run from hunters….

Buffalo medicine is a sign that you achieve nothing without the aid of the Great Spirit and that you must be humble enough for that assistance and then be grateful for what you receive."

...In the service we offered gratitude and thanks for our animal brothers and sisters...Here are some thoughts that were shared...

It is wonderful to be here together with our fellow animals. I’m not just talking about our animal friends here by the way. It is important to recognise that we too are animals. That the animals who we share this world with are kin. We are formed from the same flesh and I believe have the same spirit animates us all. Ok we are not exactly the same, but we are formed from the same earth and are animated by the very same breath of life. In fact it is worth remembering that the word “animal” is actually from the Latin word “animalis”, which actually means having a soul and shares the same root for breath “animus”. So yes formed from the same earth with the very same spirit within us.

Now somewhere along the lines of our history we humans began to think of ourselves as far superior to other animals with the intrinsic right to make use of them in whatever way we wished. But this was not always so, in ancient times and in the so-called primitive cultures, people revered the animals as great teachers, purveyors of wisdom, possessors of souls and of spiritual qualities. There was a time when humans and animals were more closely connected. Now some of we  so called rationalists tend to look on all this as ignorance. But I wonder if actually we have forgotten something precious and obvious to them. I wonder if they knew something that we somehow managed to forget.

We can learn so much from the animals, if we have enough humility to do so. They can teach us so much about life. They can be our greatest teachers. Jesus taught his followers to be as wise as serpents and as gentle as doves, that these were the characteristics for discipleship in a challenging world. Words that our Unitarian brothers and sisters have used as their motto, over the many trials and difficulties they have lived through. The passage in Matthew’s Gospel chapter 10 v 16 reads “Behold I am sending you forward as sheep in the midst of wolves. Be therefore wise as serpents and innocent as doves.” Here Jesus is warning his disciples of the dangers that they will face in carrying their message of radical love, to a wounded world. That they will be no safer than lambs amongst wolves; he is saying that they must employ wisdom in the way they impart this message, in a hostile world.

Now the dove of course is an important image in the Judeo-Christian tradition. It makes its first appearance in the story of Noah’s Arc. Noah sends out a dove to find land, eventually it returns with an olive branch. This symbolises the re-birth of life tying humanity to the earth, to the ground, to the soil and the cycles of life. It is important to remember that humanity and hummus are linguistically linked, along with humility. Something we can lose sight of in our technically advanced age. We are not above nature though, we are interdependent with the web of all existence.

We can learn so much from our animal brothers and sisters if we would pay attention. They can teach us how to live in the moment “Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?” (Matthew ch 6 v 26). Simply watch a pet and notice how they live in the moment in which they find themselves. They are not caught up in regret about the past or fear of the future.

The animals can teach us how to listen to our bodies. When they are ill they do not push themselves beyond their limits. They are yoga masters too, just watch a cat or dog and how they stretch constantly. They can teach us about balance, for they do not take more than they need. They eat what they need and do not take more than is required for themselves or their dependants. It is only domesticated animals that become overweight, depressed and or obese. They can teach us how to be true to our natures. They can help us to see ourselves as we truly are. As a part of life, as part of the nature of everything. So many of our human problems stem from our sense of separation, that we are not a part of everything. By observing the animals we can once again see that we are a part of everything and that we belong here and that there is nothing really wrong with us. We just forget who we are from time to time.

We can learn so much from our brothers and sisters the animals, they can teach us once again what it is to be fully human and a part of life.

The following is taken from “Writing Past Dark: Envy, Fear, Distraction, and Other Dilemmas in the Writer's Life” by Bonnie Friedman

"Outside the Cathedral holding ancient relics in Valencia, a woman kissed pigeons. She saw these birds as symbols of God. Gray and white and black as discarded shells, these were creatures I'd been taught to think of as 'filthy.' They seemed filthy, in fact, with their staring orange eyes and patchy feathers. But now, while I looked, they turned into doves. Of course they always were doves, or rather, of course doves always really were a type of pigeon. But I never really believed it until this woman showed me her belief. Her kiss transformed ugliness to beauty.

So it was like a fairy tale after all. It was the old story: what is loved reveals its loveliness. Here she squatted, radiant, smiling, enrobed in life, in a dozen pairs of folded wings, in a dozen pairs of pearl gray and, as I looked, yes, even lavender, even royal purple wings — a woman in an ordinary black cotton dress who smiled as if she knew she was the luckiest person on earth, swathed in blessing."

This lovely little tale brought St Francis to my mind. St Francis was a thirteenth century monk who held animals in the highest of esteem. He would commune with animals in much the same way as he would commune with people, he saw no difference. Here is one story, of many told about him, where he was found communing with a bird:

· "Once when Saint Francis was about to eat with Brother Leo he was greatly delighted to hear a nightingale singing. So he suggested to his companion that they would also sing praise to God alternately with the bird. While Leo was pleading that he was no singer, Francis lifted up his voice and, phrase by phrase, sang his duet with the nightingale."

There is a similar concept in Judaism. In “What do Jews Believe” David S Ariel wrote “While Hasidim believed in the importance of observing the mitzvot, learning Torah, and praying with devotion, they believed that there was a deeper spiritual realm of listening to the world as the song of god. The disciples of the Maggid of Mezritch, for example, noted that their teacher went to the pond every day at dawn and stayed there for a little while before returning home again. One of his students explained that he was learning the song with which the frogs praise God.”

I have a similar relationship with the blackbird that sits and sings on the top of my house. He sings sweetly and I often find myself singing back at him. To which he often responds. It seems that we are encouraging one another to sing our song of life ever more sweetly. It certainly lifts my spirit and animates my life and increases my sense of connection.

Our relationship with the animals and with all life, including one another ought to help us to develop that most vital aspect of our humanity, compassion. Compassion is at core of all the great religious traditions and it is through living compassionately that we truly live out a full spiritual life. To develop spiritually is to increase our sensitivity to life, to feel life more fully, I have learnt that this is done through compassionate living.

Karen Armstrong teaches that compassion is an act, not merely an emotion, a feeling. It is way of living and being in the world. She claims that if it were an emotion, it would not be a comfortable one, but one of discomfort. Suggesting that if we are to understand compassion for the “Other”, we must cultivate the emotions of discomfort and disturbance, we must feel their pain, we must empathise and not become detached or indifferent. We develop empathy for the “Other” by embracing the word 'umvelt,' which means honouring the world as it is experienced by different people, animals, and organisms. she believes that it is through our capacity to imagine and empathise that we will be brought into a more authentic relationship with the Earth. It is through humility in the face of our own finite humanity that allows us to see ourselves as 'one species among many' not the indomitable centre of a human centred and created world.

By increasing our sensitivity to all life, we see ourselves as part of all of life and through doing so we set ourselves free. Free to what? Well free to live and be in love. You see when we increase our sensitivity to life we widen, broaden and deepen our experience of living.

When we look into our own eyes, when we look into one another’s eyes and when we look into the eyes of every creature what do we see? When we look with intensity at all life what do we see?

I see that same spirit that animates all life. I see “animalis” I see soul and I see the “animus” running through it all, the same breath, the same spirit that animates it all.

Let us give thanks for the animals...Our brothers and sisters in body and in soul...

I will end with the following blessing, the author of which I cannot find...

You – Birds of the Air,
Hawk, Sparrow, and laughing Jay
You remind us of freedom,
delight us with your song, astound us with feats of migration...
Grant us your perspective,
for too often our horizon is limited
and we are blind to the full results of our actions.

You – Worms of the Earth,
Ants, Beetles, Spiders and Centipedes
You are an essential but often forgotten part of nature’s web.
Through you the cycle is complete;
through you new life arises from old.
Remind us of humility.
For the wheel of live does not turn around us;
we are not the axle, but merely spokes
just the same as our unseen, unknown and ignored companions

You – Animals of the field and woods and mountains and desert—
Bear and Bison, Skunk and Squirrel, Weasel and Wolf
Too often we have destroyed your homes in the name of progress,
cutting the forests to gratify our desire,
or covering the earth with tarmac, cement, and lawns.
Pray that we may remember that the earth was not given for our needs alone,
and what we do to you, in the end we do to ourselves.

You – Animals of the farm—
Horse and cow, pig and chicken
Willingly or not, you give your very lives for us,
your milk for our nourishment, your flesh for our meat,
Yet too often we forget that the food on our tables was once as alive as we are.
Forgive our willful ignorance,
and remind us constantly to give thanks for your sacrifice...

And – You – dearest Companions in our lives
Dogs and Cats, Hamsters and Goldfish
Some of you are with us here today
Some were not able to come today
and there are some who will always be present in our memories
You have enriched our lives in so many ways
put up with our failings with calm acceptance
taught us something about being a good person
taught us how to love.

May we hold you in our hearts throughout the days of our lives.
We give thanks for the joy you bring into our lives
and together we give you a blessing
We pray for you – for playful days and peaceful nights;
for lots of tummy rubs and joy in being our companions.

Gracious Creator,
Hear and bless
Thy beasts and singing birds
And guard with tenderness
Small things that have no words

And may we carry that unconditional love with us in all that we feel and all that we think and all that we say and all that we do

Amen.

God's Work

Whenever we have a committee meeting at either of the congregations I serve, before we begin business, a member always leads us in a short devotion. Now every so often, more often than ought to happen, the person who has agreed to do so forgets. Well last Wednesday it happened again. So what happened? Well they turned to me. After four years I have grown wise to this and for the last few months I have ensured I have brought something with me. Last Wednesday, just before leaving the house, I picked up a book of short reflections “Life Tides” by Elizabeth Tarbox. So when they turned to me, instead of just thinking of a prayer and some words of wisdom, I took the book from my bag and just randomly opened it. It opened on page 8 and piece titled “God’s Work”, interesting title I thought. I then began to share it with the committee. Now before doing so I offered a few words of settlement and invited them to join together and listen in a prayerful state. Most did although one member did continue to shuffle through his papers.

Now the reading seemed to have quite an impact on those at the meeting as several offered comments, including the person who appeared not to be listening but was actually doing so carefully, while shuffling his papers. It was suggested to me that we might explore the ideas contained within it in worship, which I thought was a splendid idea. Here is the reading. I hope it speaks to you, as it spoke to us.

“God’s Work” by Elizabeth Tarbox

What is God’s work? If God is immanent and transcendent, in and out of everything, then how could it be possible not to do God’s work? Surely all work is God’s work – there is nothing which is not of God. Is there?

But that doesn’t do it, somehow. There are times when what I do is strictly for me. God or no God, I’m working for myself, even during those times when God would probably approve. Mostly what I do for myself is compatible with what I believe I would do for God.

But not always. There are times of conflict, when the prompting and urging of my desire are up against the sentinel of my conscience. They square off, these two strong voices somewhere deep in the thick of me where there is no judge, no referee, and mercifully no spectators. “Do it,” say I. “Don’t,” says God. One of them wins and the other goes grumbling away, threatening and complaining in the basement of my being like a boiler with an excess of steam. And I am left to live with my decision, to forgive or applaud, to bask in my nobility or blush in my shame. And God and I make peace once more.

Then there are times when I can’t tell which is God’s voice and which is my own. What about those times when God seems to be saying “Do it” and I am saying “No.” When God says, “This is the right thing to do,” and I, shaking with fear, confess, “I can’t, I’m just too scared.”

“I’ll be with you.”
“How do I know?”
“You can do it, be not afraid.”
“I might fail, make a fool of myself.”
“Yes you might. Do it anyway.”
“But people might not like me.”
“That’s right.”
“But how do I know this is good? How can I be sure?”
“You cannot be sure. This is a risk.”

Yes, those are the toughest times: wanting to do right without losing my safety, not knowing if I am doing God’s work, or using God to do mine. There is no superhighway named Right Way. There are no signposts, no guides, no promises, no guarantees; only the lonely voice of conscience and the cringing cry of fear wrestling each other in inner space. Those are the times of lying awake at night and staring at the detail of the day through a haze of worry, working and reworking the “oughts,” the “should,” and “yes, buts” of the thing.

And what’s to be done, but to listen to the voice that seems to be speaking a consistent truth, move through the fear to trust the moral judgements we have lived by, and pray for courage.”

It is a beautiful and rich piece I hope it inspires you to delve deeper, it certainly has done so with me. It's got me living a few more questions as I have engaged in the creative interchange that Elizabeth has inspired. I hope that the rest of this blogspot has the same impact on you...None of us know exactly what the actions we do, or do not do, will lead to in all the corners of our shared world.

So what is God’s work and how do we know if we are doing it?

Well the first question we might want to explore here is what do we mean by God? It may well mean something different to each and every person. One of the great treasures of the free religious tradition that I serve, the Unitarian faith, is that it celebrates the diversity in religious understanding and expression. When I speak of God here please translate it to that which is of greatest value in your lives, that which is your compass your guide, that which we seek for strength and inspiration, both in times of joy and difficulty and all that lies in-between. Personally I do believe that there is that which permeates all life, that is at the core of all that is and yet is more than all that is, that I can be a part of and that I can seek strength and inspiration from. When I say God I mean that power which is Greater than all and yet present in each, in everything, including all of you and even me. By the way I not only believe this I experience it in every feeling, every thought, every word and every deed, although sometimes my mind will try to deny this.

I believe that each of us carries with us the essence of God and that we can connect with that and therefore truly connect with all that is, all that has ever been and all that will ever be. That great nineteenth century Transcendentalist put it far more beautifully when he said “Let us learn the revelation of all nature and thought; that the Highest dwells within us…there is no bar or wall in the soul where we, the effect, cease, and God, the cause, begins.” Desmond Tutu in more recent times echoed this sentiment when he claimed that “Each of us carries a piece of God’s heart within us.” He believes that we are all children of God and are therefore all one, one human family. He goes further claiming that God’s dream is that everyone reaches out, cares about and laughs with one another’s hearts. And I believe that if we do so we can start to put together the puzzle of life, we can heal ourselves, our families, our communities, our world. I believe this because I too believe that we each carry a piece of God’s heart within us too. So maybe, just maybe, this is infact doing God’s work?

What do you think? Maybe, maybe not? You decide…

Two central themes of two books that have inspired my ministry these last four years have been living with both meaning and compassion. The key to which is to put something or someone else at the core of your life and not to live purely for or from yourself. The key message in both books has been to not live self-centredly. Karen Armstrong made this claim in “12 Steps to a Compassionate Life” and Viktor Frankl made similar claims in “Man’s Search for Meaning.” Bill W in his story in the book Alcoholics Anonymous made similar claims too. He stated "Simple not easy a price had to paid, it meant destruction of self-centeredness." The central message of Alcoholics Anonymous is that the sufferer needed to find a power greater than themselves that they could live by in order to recover from their self and other destructive life. What is also interesting though is that in order to find this power one did not need to search very far, that this something is already within everyone. The only real problem being that we human beings build walls that separate us not only from one another but from our true selves. I suspect that doing God’s work is about putting these pieces together, both within ourselves and our ever more divided and divisive world.

Now of course there are many who claim that actually the very people who claim to be doing God's work are usually the ones creating division in our world, they are the ones doing the breaking not the healing. It is not hard to find evidence for this view. Just turn on the news any day and you will see those reaping destruction while claiming to be doing God's work. Many claim that if we just let go of the God idea, which is seen as stupid, irrational and downright destructive that humanity would be able to live as one. Looking at our world you can see why they would think that. That said any right thinking person can see that division in humanity is not just the domain of religion, it is the domain of those who believe they are always right and that no one can argue with their view of what is right. This is not a position unique to religious thinking. Dogma is another aspect of humanity and I believe it is this that builds those walls between us.

The problem with we human beings is that we forget that we are human beings. We lack humility. It is important to remember that humanity and humility are formed from the same linguistic root, from the earth. Yes we learn more and more, but we still know so little. We certainly have not yet learnt to live in love. We still somehow fail to recognise we are all formed from the same stuff. I believe that humility is vital to the spiritual life as it opens us to our true selves, to one another and to God.

Me I’m with Desmond I believe that “Each of us carries a piece of God’s heart within us.” That we are all children of God, that there is one human family and that doing God’s work is reaching out and doing all that I can for those in need and joining in with the dance of life. Weeping with those in tears and laughing along with each others hearts. I also believe that by doing so we open our hearts fully and that piece of God we carry within us can begin to put our wounded world back together again. That said, maybe I’m just a dreamer, but I don’t think I am the only one.

What do you think? Maybe, maybe not? You decide…

The key, as Elizabeth points out, is in the struggle. The spiritual life is by no means an easy one. Answers are not always easy to find and doing the right thing is not easy. It is, I believe only really unearthed in the struggle. When I think of this struggle my mind always turns toward a passage in Genesis ( ch32 vv 22 – 32)

Here is the passage:

22 The same night he got up and took his two wives, his two maids, and his eleven children, and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. 23He took them and sent them across the stream, and likewise everything that he had. 24Jacob was left alone; and a man wrestled with him until daybreak. 25When the man saw that he did not prevail against Jacob, he struck him on the hip socket; and Jacob’s hip was put out of joint as he wrestled with him. 26Then he said, ‘Let me go, for the day is breaking.’ But Jacob said, ‘I will not let you go, unless you bless me.’27So he said to him, ‘What is your name?’ And he said, ‘Jacob.’ 28Then the man* said, ‘You shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel,* for you have striven with God and with humans,* and have prevailed.’ 29Then Jacob asked him, ‘Please tell me your name.’ But he said, ‘Why is it that you ask my name?’ And there he blessed him. 30So Jacob called the place Peniel,* saying, ‘For I have seen God face to face, and yet my life is preserved.’ 31The sun rose upon him as he passed Penuel, limping because of his hip. 32Therefore to this day the Israelites do not eat the thigh muscle that is on the hip socket, because he struck Jacob on the hip socket at the thigh muscle.

At first glance this looks like a strange passage, but there is deep meaning half hidden within it. Jacob is depicted wrestling with a mysterious man, who it turns out is probably God, although is not clear.As he wrestles with this being he is grievously hurt, but he fights on. As the night ends and dawn breaks the being tries to leave but Jacob holds on and demands it blesses him as the price for ending the struggle. The being relents and blesses Jacob by giving him a new name “Israel” meaning “one who struggles with God” or as I once heard a friend say “one with whom God struggles.”

I see this as a mythos depicting the spiritual struggle. I think it is a timeless and universal depiction of what Elizabeth is describing in her piece.

Is it we who struggle with God, or is it God who struggles with us?

What do you think? Maybe, maybe not? You decide…

This brought some other thoughts to my heart and mind, if we are a piece of the heart of God then surely it is our task to be the eyes, the ears and the hands of the holy in this world. Surely God’s work is to bind up the broken to rebind the world back together. Re-member, re-bind together that Religion, from “religiere”, means to rebind together that which has been broken apart. Each of us is a precious piece of the puzzle, while at the same time we are bound up together in the one web of life. Once we truly recognise this all our actions begin to take on real purpose and meaning, for we recognise that everything matters, Every thought, every feeling, every word and every deed, everything matters. I have learnt that if we truly believe this it allows us to truly engage with life, to struggle with what we can and cannot do and to join in the wrestling match that is life.

Now these are just my thoughts, each person must decide what God’s work is for them. Be careful of those who claim to know what that is for everyone else. We each have to engage with this ourselves.

That said increasingly I see that we are each a vital part of the puzzle. I have also discovered that in order to unearth the answers we need to engage in two ways, one private and the other corporate. One requires personal and private spiritual practise and the other requires each of us to engage with one another. The two combined bring about true religious living.

What is required is time alone to connect to that greater reality deep down within each of us, we need look no further you know. We just need to spend time in quietness so we can feel that still small voice.

I promise that everyone can hear the "language of the heart", if we listen with the “ears of our hearts” and then of course come together and share what we have uncovered, oh and then do what needs to be done. By bringing our pieces together we can can begin to create that beautiful picture puzzle.

Whatever we believe is the source of that voice is not the most important thing. What matters to me is that we learn to trust in and allow it to give us the courage to do what our world needs us to do. This to me again is God’s work.

This is what needs to be done. As Elizabeth said we need to learn to listen to that voice that has consistently spoken a truth, to move through the fear that we may get things wrong from time to time and to pray for the courage to do what is required.

“Each of us carries a piece of God’s heart within us.” We are all children of God, we are part of the one human family. Doing God’s work is reaching out and doing all that we can. Our ever more divided and dividing world certainly needs it. It is up to us to put the pieces back together, to bind up the broken, our people, our world…

What do you think? Maybe, maybe not? You decide…

I'm going to end this little blog with a final piece of wisdom by Penny Quest

“Each New Morning” by Penny Quest

Each new morning two choices are open to every one of us:
The choice to live that day in the joyfulness of Love,
Or in the darkness of Fear.

Each new day, as the sun rises,
We have another opportunity to make that choice.
The symbolism of the sunrise is the removal of shadow
And the return of Light.

Each new morning we have another chance
To rid ourselves of the burdens, sorrows and fears of the past,
To rejoice in the joy of the present,
And to look forward to a future of fulfilment
On every level of our being.

Each sunrise is a fresh opportunity to release fear,
To choose a different life-path,
To commit ourselves to joyful, light living,
To trust in ourselves and in the Universe,
To trust in the forces of Nature and in Mother Earth,
To trust God, the Creator, the all-That-Is.

Amen

Many Rivers: One Sea

My grandad took his final journey back to the great sea this week. He died peacefully after a long and

good life, something I know he greatly appreciated; something that was denied many of his comrades, especially his oldest and dearest friend Percy Hepworth who lost his life at sea. Good old Percy, the old lad will be buried with a picture of his old mate. My grandad was an old sailor having served in the Royal Navy during the Second World War, something he only really began to talk about in the last few years of his life. During his funeral service we will sing “For those in peril on the sea” I will sing it with the utmost gusto!

Strangely I went to bed last Sunday night with rivers on my mind. Something inside of me was calling me to explore the subject this week. Sometime over the next 24hours this moved to the sea. I went to bed on Monday night thinking of the sea, as I did my grandad slipped into his final sleep, no doubt dreaming of the ocean. The sea has been calling me again. I now understand why.

The sea has real power I think it always has. It draws people to it. I can spend hours just staring out into the great void. It is calming and yet utterly awe inspiring. This ought not to be surprising. After all we come from water and no doubt to the sea we shall eventually return. In many ways every life begins at sea. In our mother’s wombs we lie in the dark, safe and secure. We are then thrust into the light of life through birth. Maybe this yearning for the sea is a primordial one, a desire to return to the safety of the womb. Or perhaps it’s a call to adventure. Many of the great stories are about adventurers being called to sea. Either way there is something very powerful about the sea, the call of the sea. It has been calling me again these last few days. Maybe it’s a call to return home, to safety, or perhaps it’s a call to adventure and a new beginning. Who knows, I will have to wait and see.

Marry the Sea

Now of course the sea is fed from many sources. All rivers lead eventually back to the sea. They all return back to the source. They go on many different adventures but eventually they return to the source from whence the journey, before the journey, began. Each river is formed from many tributaries, no two are exactly alike. No two go on exactly the same journey back to the sea. Just as no two people are exactly alike. We too are formed from many sources and our lives didn’t just begin when we first tasted the air as we were pushed out into the light. Who we are is part of the lives of those we have come from, going back through the generations.

These last few weeks I have paused to think a lot about family, both blood and not blood. I’ve been thinking about where my physical life grew from, the roots that formed me and the journey that has shaped who I am today. I’ve also been thinking of the rivers that could have potentially joined with me on the way. I have yet to be absorbed into another river, maybe I never will. Maybe it is my destiny to always journey alone until I reach the Great Sea and begin the next voyage. Maybe, maybe not.

To some extent, like the river, we all journey alone in the world. And like the purpose of the river is to return to the sea I believe that it is our nature to seek out belonging, to become a part of something more than just ourselves. Now for some that is family and or community and for others it is God. For many it is all three and a whole lot more. Perhaps for some the yearning is for wholeness with themelves. I’m not sure anyone can adequately answer what drives the yearning but what I do know is that it is there inside every single one of us.

The yearning for belonging is not all that is there though, there is also a desire to maintain our independence our individuality. This causes tension at times; I sense this tension in the lives of most us. Where does this come from? Well I suspect that it comes from our own souls. We are each of us unique individuals. No two people are exactly alike. Even identical twins have their own personality and can be vastly different. The same applies for conjoined twins by the way. No one feels exactly as another feels, no one thinks exactly as another thinks, no one knows exactly what is going on inside the heart of another human being. Each life is uniquely beautiful and yet we are all formed from the same source and have the same breath of life flowing through us. It is vital to recognise both aspects of our humanity and to rejoice and celebrate them. I believe that it is both aspects that compel us to be drawn together to seek out wholeness beyond the confines and limits of ourselves. It is this drive that creates this need to belong. It is this impulse that creates family; it is this impulse that creates community; it is this impulse that compels us to search beyond the limits of our own lives.

The building of family and community is becoming more and more difficult in our age. Increasingly we live isolating and isolated lives. Families move far apart and communities are increasingly fragmented. We want freedom and more of it. There is nothing wrong with this, but I wonder sometimes if by reaching for more freedom we have somehow lost some of the love that truly binds people. Now please do not get me wrong I am not living under the delusion of some golden age of community, much of which was merely tribalism. It is just that I have this sense that somewhere love has been obscured by the drive for personal freedom. While freedom in many ways is about self love, it is not necessarily about relational love in its many forms. Do people truly bind together as we once did?

Now the post modern age that we live in suggests that we can’t bind as we once did as we do not have the one thing to bind around; the one thing to believe in that can hold us all together. Even un-belief is struggling to attain this. In the last few days there has been reported split offs from what the media has labelled the "atheist church", more commonly known as "The Sunday Assembly". Seemingly it isn’t atheist enough for some folk, or it’s the wrong kind of atheism. Maybe the post-modernists are right maybe we can’t bind and belong as we once did.

I am not convinced by the post-modernist claims by the way. I believe we can come together, but not necessarily in the old tribal and exclusivist ways. Perhaps we can come together and join together from our own tributaries.

I am a Universalist by temperament. I believe that there are truths that can be discovered through many sources. I also do not accept that anyone has the whole picture when it comes to truth, whether informed by religion or the secular world. As I have written many times I hold a deep affection for the writings of Forrest Church, particular his beautiful metaphor the “Cathedral of the World”.

Forrest asks us to imagine the world as a Cathedral and to look at the light filtering through the windows, each with its unique design and colour. There are windows beyond number in the cathedral, each unique, each reflecting the light in a different way, each window telling a story about the creation of the world, the meaning of history, the nature of humankind, the mystery of death. This he describes as a metaphor for 21st century Universalism which honours a variety of approaches to truth or the light. He points out that none of us is able to fully comprehend the truth that shines through another person's window. He claims that the fact that none can see the whole truth and none can experience light exactly as another sees it ought to breed within us humility about truth and an openness to the claims on truth made by others. In his view such an approach ought to draw people closer together and not cause them to pull apart.

As I mentioned earlier my week began with thoughts about rivers and it’s to rivers or perhaps the river that I would like to now return. The medieval Christian mystic Meister Eckhart wrote that “Divinity is an Underground river that no one can stop and no one can dam up.” This image has spoken powerful to former Dominican priest Matthew Fox and inspired his book “One River, Many Wells”, In it he pleads for a deep ecumenism. He has for a long time been a student of the mystical traditions of all the great faiths, breaking new ground in pulling together writings from many religious paths and from science to lay the foundations of a new mythology and spirituality. He calls us to reach beyond the creeds and doctrines that divide and to come together in a shared experience of wonder and awe.

Both Matthew Fox and Forrest Church seem to be in harmony with one another in what one describes as deep ecumenism and the other Universalism. Their thoughts are echoed by the work of Karen Armstrong who talks about what she describes as the essence of all the great faiths,"The Golden Rule of Compassion”.

This image of the tributaries flowing into the rivers and eventually back to the sea that can bring us together, speaks powerfully to me. Whatever source we drink from we only sample a tiny amount of what is available to us. While our need to remain unique and individual may keep us from returning to the sea, our need to find family, community, a place where we all belong will keep on drawing us back. Love in the end is a stronger force that the pulse for freedom, or at least it seems that way to me. Humility also draws us together as it feeds in us a need to seek out new truth. It opens us up to new revelation from all sources of life including one another.

This is why I found a home within the Unitarian tradition. We not only accept diversity in matters of truth we actively celebrate it. We also celebrate the whole concept of community. We are not merely some new age spirituality movement. We are religious communities in the truest sense as, we bind together under the common theme of humility and openness as well as love and freedom. We encourage one another to look through each others windows and drink from one another’s wells and we invite others to bring their truth so we can all experience more of what life has to offer to us.

So why has the sea been calling me again? I don’t suppose I will get a full answer. Is it something to do with the love I felt for my granddad? Is it a sense to return home to be closer to those who have created and formed me? Well that has certainly been strong within me in recent weeks and months. Is it a call to a new adventure either within or without, a call to seek out new truth? The honest answer is I do not fully know. All I can tell you is that it feels very strong right now. I also know that it humbles me and as a result it opens me up in faith, it does not close me down in fear. I trust it I know it we lead me back to source, the eternal source. It will lead me back to love.

For all rivers eventually become part of the one sea