Courage: Living Wholeheartedly

Everyday I receive an extract from the writings of David Whyte. I mostly love and find them thought provoking and inspiring. I received the following about three weeks ago. It struck me at the time and has been singing in my soul ever since.

“Courage” by David Whyte

Courage is a word that tempts us to think outwardly, to run bravely against opposing fire, to do something under besieging circumstance, and perhaps, above all, to be seen to do it in public, to show courage; to be celebrated in story, rewarded with medals, given the accolade, but a look at its linguistic origins leads us in a more interior direction and toward its original template, the old Norman French, Coeur, or heart.

Courage is the measure of our heartfelt participation with life, with another, with a community, a work, a future. To be courageous, is not necessarily to go anywhere or do anything except to make conscious those things we already feel deeply and then to live through the unending vulnerabilities of those consequences. To be courageous is to seat our feelings deeply in the body and in the world: to live up to and into the necessities of relationships that often already exist, with things we find we already care deeply about: with a person, a future, a possibility in society, or with an unknown that begs us on and always has begged us on. Whether we stay or whether we go - to be courageous is to stay close to the way we are made."

...It planted a seed in my soul that has been singing ever since...

Last Monday, as part of “The Sylvan Social Group” get together Gwyneth Roper spoke on the “Hospice Movement”. She talked about its history, how it developed through the persistence and pioneering work of Dame Cecily Saunders. She talked about St Anne’s Hospice which serves the people of Greater Manchester and her own personal experiences of working and volunteering there. It was an informative and deeply moving talk, for many reasons. What struck me was the whole approach to those people that are cared and supported by the many hospices up and down the country. That they see their work as not only caring and relieving suffering but of enabling all those experiencing terminal illnesses to live right up to the end of their physical lives. It would seem that often people discover many things they never knew about themselves, even in those last days and months.

As I sat listening to Gwyneth and remembering my own recent experiences with hospices with family, friends and other acquaintances the word courage kept on forming in my heart and mind. I remember as I sat there, with one or two tears forming in my eyes that I kept on thinking to myself that this is what real courage is. This is truly living with a fully open heart.

Now courage is one of those interesting words. It conjures up the soldier on the battlefield or the figure running into a burning building to rescue those trapped in there, or someone standing up against an injustice and saying no. We only need open the daily paper to see examples of this kind of courage. That said I’m not convinced courage is exclusive to such acts; in fact such acts are probably more akin to bravery and or heroic deeds. Now of course a hero requires courage in order to perform heroic deeds, that said courage can be found in many other quarters too.

The word courage itself is one of those fascinating ones whose meaning has altered somewhat over time. It is formed from the French root “Cuer” meaning heart. To have courage is to have strength of heart. I have learnt that courage is far more than bravery and heroic deeds it is a consistent and sustaining love, it is a spiritual energy that holds us in sickness and in health in loss or disappointment. It is courage that animates our lives and inspires us to truly live, whatever befalls us in life.

Courage is that loving sustaining seed that lays within each of us. Courage is about having faith in something and that this something will hold us and guide us through whatever we experience in the journeys of our lives. Some have described it as the warrior spirit, but not in the sense that we usually understand a warrior.

In “Courage: Overcoming Fear and Igniting Self-Confidence” Debbie Ford claims that:

"Courage is a holy gift that exists within you. It's yours when you are ready to reunite with it. When you awaken to courage, it becomes an exciting, life-enhancing force that will lift you back into your power and guide you home to your authentic nature. The greatest act of courage is to be and to own all of who you are — without apology, without excuses, without masks to cover the truth of who you are. True courage comes not just from feeling confident and strong, but from being the honest, authentic expression of yourself. Think about how audacious it is to really believe in yourself. It takes a warrior's courage to acknowledge that your point of view matters, that your truth matters, that your gifts matter, and that your presence on this earth matters. You don't have to earn this right; it's yours as part of your birthright.”

To live as the true warrior, to live with courage is about living authentically with a cracked open heart, paradoxically this how we live truly wholeheartedly. It’s also about showing this heart to the world. Letting the world know you as you truly are, warts and all and beauty spots too.

One of my many roles as a minister is to conduct funerals and to write or at least deliver the eulogy of the deceased, to tell their story. This is always fascinating and moving, as well as deeply revealing. There is far more to the lives of each and every one of us than we could ever know. I recently attended the funerals of three friends and listened to the eulogies of them all. As I listened I realised how much I knew them and yet how little I knew them too.

It got me thinking about who really knows us at all? How many of us truly reveal our whole selves, our whole hearts? Do any of us have the warrior courage to truly do this, at any stage of our journeys through life?

I know that for long periods of my life I lived in a kind of bubble, in my own little world. I was recently reminded of this during a conversation with a friend. As we were talking a long forgotten memory came back to me - Sadly there are large chunks of my life that I have little or no memory of, although over the years these memories keep on returning. From where, I have no clue - When I was a teenager and at other times in my life I would often take myself off into Huddersfield, or sometimes Leeds and just wander around the streets alone and yet completely surrounded by people in a kind of bubble, not speaking or even communicating with others, looking at them but not really connecting. I did it at times in my twenties too, but thankfully it is not something I need to do any longer. I found the courage to burst that bubble of self-protection, as it no longer serves me. I have found the faith, to live open heartedly, to live whole heartedly.

I wonder sometimes as I sit drinking coffee outside Café Nero, as I did the other day, how many others amongst us live in our own little bubbles? How many of us circle around one another in our own little planetoids, never really connecting to one another. How many of us live lives of deadness, of non-being, closed in, shut down, in our own little jails.

It really does not have to be like this. We can live with courage and it begins by truly knowing ourselves. This is where spiritual practise comes in. Through spiritual practise we can reveal the inner landscape of our own lives, we can truly know who we are. We can reveal our authentic selves, which will enable us to live our lives fully. By doing so we can open our hearts and therefore live wholeheartedly; by doing so, I have discovered, we also begin to see the landscape of our common humanity. By knowing ourselves bridges are built that can help us better connect to lives of others. It helps us to see that whatever our different stories maybe, at whatever stage our lives may be at, the same spirit that animates our lives, animates theirs. We each of us live with the same longings, fears, doubts, hopes and regrets. Yes our stories are all different and yet they are all the same.

We are each of us adventurers on a journey, but it’s a journey that isn’t really going anywhere. The journey is not one of distance at all, but one of depth and one of revelation and above all else deeper and deeper connection. And what do we need to keep journeying on, we need courage; we need genuine sustaining courage, which enables us to live wholeheartedly.

We need to live with the spirit of the warrior, at whatever stage of life we are at. We need to bring this courage to life right to the very end and we can. Things can be revealed to us right up to those last moments before we draw our last physical breaths. We can continue to connect with others on a deeper level, even at the very end, if we keep the courage to live with cracked open hearts, if we live wholeheartedly.

Courage is a way of living and breathing it’s about living openly and vulnerably in the world. It is about living with our hearts cracked open and therefore wholeheartedly. It’s also about bringing this into our relationships with others. It’s about allowing them to truly know us, while we are still alive and therefore encouraging them to do likewise. We can do this at any stage of our lives, whether we are at the beginning or very near the end.

It's about en-couraging them opening our hearts to them and encouraging them to do likewise...

When does life really begin or end? Well I do not know the answer to this, but increasingly it seems that there really is no beginning and or end. We are a part of something that began way before we were born and continues on and on after we are gone. And what of the possibility of an after life? Well I cannot answer that. Whatever happens after our bodies breath their last breath, surely it cannot be any more strangely beautiful than this one we live now. Let's enjoy this beautiful journey, on the Road to Nowhere.

My message, in this little blogspot, is to live with courage whatever stage you are at in life. I say let courage open you to life whatever befalls you. Remember it is courage that is formed in the heart; it is courage that is the ultimate act of faith; it is courage that keeps us open to life; it is courage that allows us to know ourselves; it is courage that builds bridges between ourselves and others; it is courage that allows people to truly know us, no matter what stage of life we find ourselves.

Courage friends, courage…

I'm going to end this little chip of a blogspot with these rather lovely words "“Nothing to Fear” from “A Long Time Blooming” by Marta I Valentin

Go forth young child, and know that you do not walk alone, nor ever have.
You carry with you ancestral bonds that do not sever.
You carry with you familial love that does not end.
You carry with you the scents of sweet friendship a long time blooming…

Go forth, young child, with nothing to fear.
Open your heart to the crosscurrents of living.
Let others enter the circle of your tender loving arms.
Let others know the profundity of your sharp, inquiring mind.

Go, leave your mark upon the world, and continue to lift up your voice, there are many waiting to listen.

Courage: We can be heroes every day

One thing about the modern multi-media age is that it throws up instant heroes. People can do a heroic act in some part of the world and if it is caught on film or the person is filmed shortly afterwards within hours it can have gone viral and people all over the world soon get know of their heroic deed. Well such a thing happened last week.

I'm sure you heard about  Charles Ramsey?

He became famous by responding to screams he heard coming from a home in his neighbourhood. He thought it was a domestic dispute and broke into the home to free three women who were held captive there. The three women turned out to be Amanda Berry, Gina DeJesus and Michelle Knight. They had been missing for ten years and were presumed dead. They had in fact been held prisoner in the Cleveland home that Ramsey had rescued them from. Ramsey did not consider himself a hero and said he was only doing what any right minded citizen would do and certainly did not feel he ought to rewarded for his actions and any rewards ought to be given to the three women. Nevertheless he has become a modern day hero and has been held up to acclaim all over the world. He has become a modern day hero, if only for one day.

Heroes can be found in every single human tradition. They have existed ever since we began telling stories around the camp fire. Ancient Greek and Roman mythology spoke of Aneaus, Hercules, Odysseus and Theseus. The Hebrew Scriptures describe the heroic deeds of David, Joseph, Moses and Samson. Similar stories can be found in every culture. They describe heroic figures who stood up for righteousness and made a difference in their time and place.

The stories we tell today are full of heroic characters. We only need look at the recent remaking of the comic strip super heroes such as Spiderman, Batman, The X-Men, or Star Wars, Harry Potter, Dr Who, the Lord of the Rings, James Bond, Indiana Jones, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. These are modern day heroes, but they are no different in character to the heroes of ancient times.

The heroes of ancient times were endowed with great strength and were often descendants of the gods; while the modern day heroes tend to be superhuman mutations. Both the ancient and modern seem beyond the reach of mere mortals. Even momentary acts of heroism seem to be outside the scope of ordinary people. Charles Ramsay has become a modern day hero because he did something outside of the norm and also reacted to what he did in such a humble and almost startled way.

So is the song true, can we all be heroes just for one day?

I was recently chatting with my brother law. In the middle of the conversation my niece Aimee asked what the difference between heroism and courage was? Dave struggled to answer and I thought about it for a short while and then said something like “heroism is a single act a momentary thing that a person does on the spur of the moment without really thinking about the consequences, it is also something that is recognised by others. Where as courage seems a quiet consistent ordinary activity that almost goes unnoticed and is rarely glorified. It's about sticking at something despite the presence of real fear. As I see it courage is something that materialises in the ordinary.”

I recently came across the following, it speaks beautifully and powerfully to me about the everyday characteristics of courage:

 "The Art of facing Things" By Mark Nepo

"What people have forgotten is what every salmon knows.  Salmon have much to teach us about the art of facing things.  In swimming up waterfalls, these remarkable creatures seem to defy gravity.  It is an amazing thing to behold.  A closer look reveals a wisdom for all beings who want to thrive.

What the salmon somehow know, is how to turn their underside—from centre to tail—into the powerful current coming at them, which hits them squarely, and the impact then launches them out and further out and up the waterfall; to which their reaction is, again, to turn their underside back into the powerful current that, of course, again hits them squarely; and this successive impact launches them further out and up the waterfall.  Their leaning into what they face, bounces them further and further along their unlikely journey.

From a distance, it seems magical, as if these mighty fish are flying, conquering their element.  In actuality, they are deeply at one with their element, vibrantly and thoroughly engaged in a compelling dance of turning-toward-and-being-hit-squarely that moves them through water and air to the very source of their nature.

In terms useful to the life of the spirit, the salmon are constantly faithful in exposing their underside to the current coming at them.  Mysteriously, it is the physics of this courage that enables them to move through life, as they know it, so directly.  We can learn from this very active paradox; for we, too, must be as faithful to living in the open if we are to stay real in the face of our daily experience.  In order not to be swept away by what the day brings, we too, must find a way to lean into the forces that hit us so squarely.

The salmon offer us a way to face truth without shutting down.  They show us how leaning into our experience, though we don’t like the hit, moves us on.  Time and again, though we’d rather turn away, it is the impact of being revealed, through our willingness to be vulnerable; that enables us to experience both mystery and grace”

Courage in many ways is the essence of life, maybe it is our daily bread. Anais Nin once said “Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.” I think that there is something very powerful in these nine simple words. I’m sure we can all think of moments when our own lives have either expanded or shrunk in proportion to our courage. Courage itself comes from the French root “Cuer” meaning heart. To have courage is to have strength of heart. Courage is a consistent and sustaining love, it is a spiritual energy that sustains us in sickness and in health in loss or disappointment.

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to the size and inclusiveness of our vision and our heart; life shrinks or expands in service of high and noble ideals that allows life to evolve to a higher plain. It is not just about risking everything and overcoming fear, that may well be bravery or even heroism, but I'm not sure it's courage. Many people risk and sacrifice their lives but not always in the service of love and life, they do so in a destructive way that is against life. Such people are fearless, but I’m not sure that they are courageous.

So how do we know if what we are doing is expanding or shrinking life?

Well during the 3^rd century the theologian Origin came up with a two part test to determine whether a person was interpreting scripture rightly. I think that we can expand this same test and apply it to how we live our lives in 21^st century Britain. Origin’s formula claims that our course of action must always meet two criteria it must be both useful to us and at the same time worthy of God.

This to me seems to be the essence of courage it must be useful to humanity and at the same time worthy of God. To have courage is to have strength of heart and to live from our hearts in our ordinary everyday activities.

Howard Thurman said the following on "Courage"

"There is a quiet courage that comes from an inner spring of confidence in the meaning and significance of life. Such courage is an underground river, flowing far beneath the shifting events of one's experience, keeping alive a thousand little springs of action. It has neither trumpets to announce it nor crowds to applaud; it is best seen in the lives of men and women who do their work from day to day without hurry and without fever. It is the patient waiting of the humble person whose integrity keeps his spirit sweet and his heart strong. Wherever one encounters it, a lift is given to life and vast reassurance invades the being. To walk with such a person in the daily round is to keep company with the angels"

Courage is a way of living and breathing it’s about living openly and vulnerably in the world. It is about bringing this attitude of Origin’s into life itself, it needs to be useful to us and worthy of God. We can bring this attitude into any situation, even the most difficult. It is not just present in the middle of a crisis when all is going wrong it is also there living and breathing as life returns to normal at the end of a crisis as we start to rebuild life when the storms have blown away. Courage comes in those ordinary acts of love as we walk slowly through life. It is courage that allows us to learn that even when life has betrayed us, love is still present. 

It is courage that allows us to stay open to life even when the storms are really blowing. It is courage that is formed in the heart; it is courage that is the ultimate act of faith; it is courage that keeps us open to life so that we can live in ways that are useful to everyone and worthy of God.

Yes we can all be heroes, we can perform heroic acts, we can all be heroes even if it is just for one day. Courage though is something more, something deeper, something that comes from the heart, from that place deep within each of us...it is something that has to be useful to life and worthy of God.

I’d like to end this little chip of a blog with the following words on courage by J. Ruth Gendler.

“Courage has roots. She sleeps on a futon on the floor and lives close to the ground. Courage looks you straight in the eye. She is not impressed with power trippers, and she knows first aid. Courage is not afraid to weep, and she is not afraid to pray, even when she is not sure who she is praying to. When courage walks, it is clear that she has made the journey from loneliness to solitude. The people who told me she is stern were not lying; they just forgot to mention that she is also kind.”