Mulla Nasruddin took his followers to an exhibition. Many things were going on at the exhibition. At one place people were staking much money and trying to shoot arrows to reach a certain target.
Nasruddin gathered his followers and he said, "Come, I have something to show you." Watch and learn.
As he took up a bow and arrow a great crowd gathered, they were intrigued by what was going on. The crowd watched in silence,
Nasruddin took aim and shot an arrow, it fell well short of the target. At this the crowd started laughing.
Nasruddin spoke out, "Stop! Don't be foolish." He turned to his followers and said, "Look, this is what happens when you live with an inferiority complex, when you have no pride in yourself, when you do not believe in yourself. This is how such a person will act, they will never reach the target; they will always fall short of what they are capable of, for their whole heart will never be in it.
At this the crowd fell silent and muttered to themselves: "Yes, there is a lesson in this, there is wisdom here."
He then picked up another arrow and again he took aim. This arrow flew way ahead, far beyond the target. Again the crowd began to laugh.
Again Nasruddin spoke up, "Be silent! You don't understand these secrets." Again he turned to his followers and said, "Look, this is how a person who thinks themselves as being superior behaves, who suffers from Hubris. They will never reach the target. They run so fast that they will bypass the goal, and he will not stop at the goal. They are too confident and think themselves better than anyone else, superior in every sense, above everyone. They are also unbalanced."
Again the crowd fell silent: "Then began to mutter to themselves, yes, there is a lesson here."
Nasruddin took a third arrow and tried again... This time the arrow went directly into the bullseye, right in the middle of the target, he hit the mark. The crowd gasped in silence and waited for what Nasruddin was going to say. He went to the owner and demanded the money.
The owner said, "Why?"
He said, "This is me! The first was the arrow of a someone who suffers from an inferiority complex, who has no pride and thinks they are worthless; the second the arrow of someone who suffers from a superiority complex, who sufferes from Hubris and false pride -- and this is Mulla Nasruddin's arrow. Where is the money?"
We have just passed the spring Equinox, the day when light and dark are in balance. This happens twice a year both in Autumn and Spring. Equinox means “equal night”. The March Equinox is known as the Vernal Equinox, meaning new, as it marks the beginning of spring. In the northern hemisphere as we tilt towards the sun the days grow longer and sunnier. The September Equinox is called the Autumn Equinox, marking the beginning of this season. In the southern hemisphere these seasons are at opposites ends of the year.
This time of celestial and seasonal balance is a perfect one to check out the balance in our own lives. Where are the extremes in our own lives that need balancing out? How do we see ourselves and each other? Is this in balance? Do we have a balanced view of life? When looking at ourselves do we have a balanced and honest view? How are our “umeres”, as the ancient physicians use to call them, are all four of these fluids in balance? How is your health, your physical, your emotional, your mental and your spiritual health? These four could well be our present day “umeres”. Physicians no longer believe we have four fluids that need to in balance, that said our well being still needs stability and balance.
A balanced life is considered a good life. We are told that we need to balance the books, in the home and in the community. A balanced diet is vital to healthy living. Power needs to be balanced in the public sphere, too much power in any individual or even groups hand is dangerous. Balance is vital to performing physical activities. Most athletes are admired for their balance as much as for their strength and speed.
Balance is seen as vital by virtually all spiritual and philosophical traditions, extremes in any sense lead to danger and destruction. As Robert Fulghum advises “Be aware of wonder. Live a balanced life - learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.” The philosopher John Locke wrote “An excellent man, like precious metal, is in every way invariable; A villain, like the beams of a balance, is always varying, upwards and downwards.”
Aristotle proposed that the key to authentic happiness and not mere momentary satisfaction or pleasure arose from living a life of “Virtue” and that this could be achieved by the “Doctrine of the Golden Mean”, by living a life centred on a sort of dampened equilibrium. That virtue lays in avoiding excess. He saw courage as lying somewhere between cowardice and recklessness.
One of the great Greek myths illustrates this perfectly. Icarus was advised by Daedalus to fly somewhere between the sun and the sea, but he flew too close to the sun. Centuries later didn’t Goldilocks rejected the porridge that was too hot and too cold for the one that was just right, she chose the middle way, thus following the virtuous life.
Now please don’t get me wrong I am not suggesting that we never rock the boat and must always live in the middle of everything. Balance is not a static thing. It is important to keep on stirring the porridge and to act out whatever our faith in life is. The key is to serve life and the harmony of all life. It is important is to live humbly and to avoid the dangers of hubris that caused Icarus to burn and fall. We are here to fly, of course we are, just not too close to the sun. We need to see ourselves and life itself as it actually is, to not think too less of ourselves, nor too high. It is the same with others. We should put no one on a pedestal, nor should we dismiss anyone. We all have something to contribute, to add to life. The key is to live humbly and honestly and give what we have, not only for ourselves, but for the good of all. It is vital to live with healthy pride and acknowledge our gifts, whilst also watching for the dangers of hubris.
I was out with Molly on Wednesday. I had just returned from Urmston having led “A Common Search for Meaning” group, exploring identity and belonging. I was feeling tired. This is not surprising as the day before I had conducted the funeral service of my cousin Charlton back home in Yorkshire. It was an emotional day and I was wondering if I could find the energy to put together this service. As hard as it was I believe I had done a good job in conducting the service and holding our Charlton’s loved ones through this heartbreaking rite. I had also led a good conversation at Urmston and despite my own grief had fulfilled all my recent commitments will care and attention. I felt I had done all that I was there to do. I was feeling very tired though. One thing I have learnt about myself is that when I am emotionally tired I have to watch my mood, for signs of depression. I was considering this as I took in the life of the town, as I let life wash over me.
As Molly and myself returned home, she found a huge tree branch that she decided she must bring home with her. She walked out of the town centre with her head held high and with a strut in her stride. You could see the pride she had in what she was doing and several people we passed commented on this. It made me smile. I thought to myself, that this is healthy pride.
I recall a while ago being involved in a conversation about pride. It is a word I don’t feel comfortable with. I get a sense of unease when I am asked if I take pride in my work. The psychologist Hannah who I saw for a few months last year, noticed this about me too. There is something in me that does not like to acknowledge a sense of pride.
The reasons for this is that I have seen the destructive nature of the negative aspects of pride. How it can stop people making the first move bringing healing. How it stops folk admitting where they are wrong and putting things right. Unhealthy pride and at its most dangerous Hubris can be deeply destructive.
Hubris is the Ancient Greek word for overstretching ourselves; it translates as arrogance or overwhelming pride. This is the archer who overshoots the mark in Nasruddhin’s story. The ancient Greeks saw Hubris as the very root of tragedy. Their tragic dramas played out at their religious festivals centred on human beings, often rulers, who forgot their human limitations. In these tragedies the audiences were reminded of the dangers of acting like immortals or Gods. They taught the value of knowing themselves, who they really are and to know what it is to be truly human.
Perhaps those that rule our world, our leaders, the financiers, the media moguls and even the celebrities who many of us lookup to in awe in the same way that the ancient Greeks looked at their God’s should take heed of these stories. The Empires do eventually fall like the walls of Jericho or burn like Rome. Or they are brought to a standstill by nature or in recent times a global pandemic.
Hubris is a dangerous and deadly thing, the ancient Greeks were correct to warn of its dangers, something that our leaders especially need to pay close attention to. That said there is an important place for healthy pride. Too many of us feel that we are not good enough, thus our arrows never reach the mark. Healthy pride is vital to building a sense that you are ok and acceptable as you are. Such things as Gay pride for example have played a vital part in helping people overcome any shame etc about their humanity. Too often in life folk have been rejected for their humanity, it still goes onto today. Sadly, there are still sections of society who some see as unacceptable, too many people victimized. Such peoples need to have their sense of pride lifted to a healthy level, something that all sections of society need to play a role in. There are too many people who are not even invited to take aim at the target, it is vitally important to recognise and accept this. There needs to be a healthy balance in pride.
Just like Nasruddin’s archery tale, the stories of both Goldilocks and Icarus can be seen as allegories for getting the balance right; they seem like allegories about pride. Whilst Icarus burnt because he flew too close to the sun, he would also have drowned if he had not flown at all. There is a healthy balance to pride and it is vital to human flourishing. It is the same as the Goldilocks and the three bears story. One bowl was too cold and another too hot, whilst another was just right, isn’t this just another way of saying you need to fly above the sea, but not too close to the sun; or like Nasruddin warning of the dangers of aiming too high or too low. There is a vital need to find healthy balance in life. This is very much the case with pride. Something I myself am still learning to fully accept. I still find it very uncomfortable to feel proud about my work, even when I know I have done a good job. Of course I don’t do a perfect job, no one can. That said too often I can be overly aware of my shortcomings, this can be crippling.We are all work in progress. We all must find ways to get the balance right. This is not a static thing, it is forever moving. I see clearly that some of my contemporary “Umeres” are somewhat out of balance. I can see that whilst my relationships with life out there is in healthy balance, in some ways my relationship with myself is still somewhat out of kilter.
It is vital to find a healthy balance in our pride in order to find harmony in our relationships with life, with each other, with ourselves and with God. These could also be seen as four other modern day “Umeres”. If we get these in balance, we can contribute fully to life, we can live to our potential and truly know the joy of living.
Isn’t this what life is built upon, our relationships. I suspect above everything that this is the key. To ensure that our lives are in balance in these four aspects of our lives. That our relationship “Umeres” are in balance.
How are your relationship “Umeres”? Are they unbalanced? How is your relationship with life, with others, with yourself and your God? These need to be in balance in order to experience healthy pride and to live fully alive.
Perhaps that is something to check, in this season of balance. How are you in relations to your inner self, the people you share your life with, life itself and your God, however you understand God?
Maybe that is something you could reflect on in the coming weeks.
How are your arrows, are they close to the mark? Is your porridge edible? Are you drowning or flying too close to the sun? We can all fly free.
Below is a video devotion based on the material in this "blogspot"
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