There was an amusing moment at the last "Singing Meditation". An attender mentioned that when a friend of theirs met me they were surprised by my attire as they thought I would be in robes and sandals. They obviously had an image of a holy man; I am just a man no more or less holy than anyone else. They had formed this view from reading the services I publish and distribute; her friend passes them on to her. Another woman who was attending for the first time said that she thought I would be in robes and a dog collar. She said that this is the image of me in my Watts App profile picture. This puzzled me and so I found my profile picture and showed it to her. I then said I had never worn a collar and or robes since being in the job. Somehow in her mind this is what she had seen in the picture. I find this fascinating. I did say that the picture is taken in a holy place, it is underground beneath "The Western Wall" in Jerusalem. I am dressed casually though in jeans, t-shirt and a hooded top. Isn’t it interesting what we see or believe we see, our perception and how it often does not resemble reality; isn’t it fascinating how what we see is often what we expect to see and not reality at all? The conversation at the recent “Singing Meditation” being a classic example of this.
Here is the profile picture in question.
At a recent ministry retreat I attended, ministerial attire was discussed on several occasions. One of our number had written her dissertation on the subject. It is interesting what different colleagues choose to wear, some formal and traditional and others more casual and informal. I prefer to be as informal as possible. I want people to find me approachable, so I wear nothing that would be considered traditional ministerial attire. For people to perceive me as approachable, is very important to me. I cannot imagine ever wearing a clerical collar or robes. Most Unitarian colleagues these days wear a “stole”. Again, I do not. In fact I may be the only colleague I know who never has. Again, I feel that they give a priestly impression and would somehow separate me from those I serve. I am a minister of religion. To minister is to serve, but it in no ways separates me from others.
Having said all that people do still form opinions of you, whether they have met in person or not. Perception truly is everything. It matters how we see the world and it matters equally how the world sees you. I hope that I am the kind of person that people feel is approachable and who encourages others to journey on spiritually together. For me this is what it means to serve as a minister in a free religious tradition.
I would be interested to hear your views on such things. I know some folk think a suit and tie is appropriate and for some time I dressed this way. I never felt comfortable like this though, as I felt like a used car salesman. No doubt the conversation will continue. I suspect I will never find anything that feels just right. What matters the most though is that whatever I wear is not a barrier to anyone. To minister means to serve. I serve this community in many different ways, it is important to me to understand this. I hope that I am perceived this way.
“Perceive” is an interesting word. It shares the same Latin root as the word “receive”. The both come from “percipere” which meant “to understand”, from “per” meaning “entirely” and “capere” meaning “to take”. So to “perceive” something means to take things in entirely, completely, in a way that covers us with understanding. So yes it is interesting how we perceive things, how we take things in. I wonder already how you are perceiving this devotion.
It matters how we perceive how we take in life. Do we do so directly? Do we experience things as they are or do they come to us through all kinds of filters? We all have our biases and prejudices about all kinds of people and experiences. Do we ever really see things as they ever actually are. Do we ever look at the world with fresh eyes? With open eyes? I am sure we all have our own examples of not seeing reality as it actually is, just like the woman who was convinced she had seen me dressed in robes and a collar. She had created an image that simply does not exist in reality.
The physicist David Bohm asserted that: “What we take to be true is what we believe. What we believe is based upon our perceptions. What we perceive depends on what we look for. What we look for depends on what we think. What we think depends on what we perceive. What we perceive determines what we believe. What we believe determines what we take to be true. What we take to be true is our reality.”
Reality can be very different for each of us. It matters how we see the world and how the world sees us. It is the same with what happens to us, our perspective and how we respond to what happens to us and the life in which we live and breath and share our being. This brings to mind my favourite story, I have told before, from the Zen tradition.
“Let’s Wait and See”
The story goes that an old farmer is working hard in the fields. He has a wife and a son, and ekes out a meagre living. One day, his only horse runs away. Upon hearing this, his neighbours comment "Oh, how awful! That is terrible!" to this the farmer replied:
"Maybe, maybe not."
A few days later, the farmer's horse returns and with it is another, exotic horse from far away. The horse is a mare, and is of rare value. The neighbours, upon hearing this, exclaim "How wonderful! It's fantastic that your horse returned and brought another horse with it!". The farmer shrugged and said:
"Maybe, maybe not."
The farmer's horses gave him many young, prized colts making the farmer very wealthy in the town. The neighbours were very happy for the farmer saying; "This is so fantastic! Your new horses have brought you much fortune!" The farmer responded:
"Maybe, maybe not."
The farmer's son, now a young man, tried to tame one of the young colts and was thrown from the horse, breaking his hip. This left the son unable to walk. The neighbours came to help and tried to console the farmer saying; "Oh, how awful! Your only son will never walk again!". The farmer, who was not upset, simply said:
"Maybe, maybe not."
Later that year, the farmer's country went to war, and the army came by to conscript every able bodied man for duty. The farmer was too old to be taken, and his son could not walk, therefore he was excused. The army simply took the farmer's horses, leaving him just his original horse to allow him to keep farming.
Was the farmer's life good? Maybe. Was the farmer's life bad? Maybe not.
Good luck and bad luck are two sides of the same coin...it really depends on the perspective that we choose to view in any given situation.
How we perceive ourselves and how we perceive life matters, it shapes our perspective, how we view the world. Perspective shapes the contours of our lives. Our lives are not shaped only by our circumstances but how we respond to them. Do they close down our hearts, minds and souls or do they open us to new possibilities? |If you are anything like me, it will be mixed. We all go through dark times, when how we see life is not so beautiful and we all go through times when how we perceive life is both beautiful and refreshing. Our perception of life really matters. For as Jesus said in Luke 11 “Your eye is the lamp of your body. If your eye is healthy, your whole body is full of light; but if it is not healthy, your body is full of darkness.”
Perception is vital. It matters how we see the world and how the world sees us. It matters what we believe about ourselves and life. I believe that we are created in the Divine image, that there is that of God in each and everyone of us. I believe in the “inherent worth and dignity of every person.” It is important that is what people perceive when they see me as a Unitarian minister. I believe in original blessing and that it is our task to bring this blessing alive through our human being. Our vulnerable and sometimes broken human being. That we all have feet of clay, that we are perfectly imperfect, that it is ok to stumble and struggle at times. I trust this is obvious to you. We all have feet of clay, we are all more human than otherwise. That said this does not mean that we are wrong that we are fundamentally flawed, that there is something wrong at the core of us.
Perspective is so very important. It matters how we see things and how we are seen. It is important to see things as they are and to be seen as we are. It matters what we perceive and how we are perceived. Perception shapes how the world looks at us and equally perspective shapes how we look at the word. How we look at others is so important. We can look on people with compassion, or we can give them a “hard look”. Think about it when someone gives us a “hard look”, what do we do? Well often we turn away in fear, or respond in anger or aggression. What if someone looks at us with compassion, how do we respond to this? Well usually we look back with compassion. Well we do unless we have fallen so far down into that pit of nihilistic despair that we respond to love with utter hatred. I’m sure most folk have been there at some point. I know that I have. So it matters how we view our own humanity and how we view the humanity of each other.
How we act towards others really matters too. But it’s not just about doing what is right; it’s also about the spirit in which each task is conducted. We can appear to be encouraging and loving and doing the right thing, but our eyes may well say otherwise. Think about a smile. We think we smile with our mouths, but we do not, we smile with our eyes. When I smile my eyes almost slant shut. Whatever we do and however we do something our eyes will reveal the truth of our hearts and people will intuitively pick up on this. They will see it into our eyes.
How we see the world matters and how respond perhaps even more so. Life truly is in the “eye of the beholder”, it is about perception. How we see one another is vital, it is all about perspective. Try not to look so hard today and you never known those eyes looking back at you might just be stretched by a smile.
Please find below a devotion based
on the material in this "blogspot"
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