Welcome
Welcome to our time of worship together. You are most welcome to join in this special day in our calendar, Mothering Sunday; a day when we have come to celebrate motherhood. Before we begin our service by lighting our chalice flame, we have a few notices.
Invocation
I invite us to still ourselves together in a time of silence. Let us invite a loving presence to be here amongst us to connect us together in mutual love, even in this time of physical isolation and to awaken from deep within us.
Chalice Lighting
(Light our individual candle)
May the warmth of our chalice-flame be to us a reminder of the warmth we knew in our mother’s womb and a promise of the warmth we seek in this community of the way of love
Hymn 68 “I Dream of a church”
I dream of a church that joins in with God’s laughing
as she rocks in her rapture, enjoying her art:
she’s glad of her world, in its risking and growing:
‘tis the child she has borne and holds close to her heart.
I dream of a church that joins in with God’s weeping
as she crouches weighed down by the sorrow she sees:
she cried for the hostile, the cold and no-hoping,
for she bears in herself our despair and dis-ease.
I dream of a church that joins in with God’s dancing
as she moves like the wind and the wave and the fire;
a church that can pick up its skirts, pirouetting,
with the steps that can signal God’s deepest desire.
I dream of a church that joins in with God’s loving
as she bends to embrace the unlovely and lost,
a church that can free, by its sharing and daring,
the imprisoned and poor, and then shoulder the cost.
God, make us a church that joins in with your living,
as you cherish and challenge, rein in and release,
a church that is winsome, impassioned, inspiring;
lioness of your justice and lamb of your peace.
Prayer
I invite you to join together in a time of prayer. Let us pray
Loving God help us to know a mother’s Love...
“We feel the happiness of true creation when we give birth to a child. The beat of a mother’s heart is wonderful music: bearing the reassurance of dawn, the warmth of noon, the purple sunset. It is in one word, wholeness.”
We come to give thanks for the mothers who bore us and nurtured us; to celebrate the love and kindness we received from them.
We come to give thanks for the children entrusted to us for a little while.
Holy One, Be with us in both joy and the grief they bring.
We come to give thanks for this wonderful creation, for our mother the Earth, and for the glory of life in which we share.
Amen
Introduction
The celebration of Mother has a long history. It dates back to the time of ancient Greece and Rome. It is not merely, as some would suggest, a creation of the greeting cards company to make money out of us. The celebrations of mother and motherhood has been with us for many centuries. It is said that Mothering Sunday was about returning home either to family and or the Mother Church. Returning to a place of total acceptance and love, a place where the love within us can grow, a place of nurture.
These days Mothering Sunday has become known as Mother’s Day, following the American tradition that is celebrated in May, and not the middle Sunday of Lent.
Mothering Sunday, Mother’s Day, whatever its actual true origins is enshrined in this image of returning home, and this sense of belonging to something more than ourselves. Whether that is actually of children returning to the family home having been working away or of people returning to the mother church. Either way it’s about returning home to a place of safety; it is about returning home to a place of renewal, of re-birth, not only for ourselves but for others too; it is about returning to a place of love and total acceptance of who we are, exactly as we are, no matter what we have done or where we have been, we are accepted with open loving arms. It’s about returning to that place where love is not only born but nurtured and grown and brought into true being.
Mother’s Day is the celebration of being held and nurtured in the spirit of love. Mother’s Day is about celebrating the spirit of mother.
In these days when we cannot hold one another physically close we can hold each other, nurture one another with our hearts, our minds our spirits, our souls, held lovingly by the one eternal soul of life…We all need to live by that love in these difficult days, we need love and accept one another in the way that the mother, or at least the ideal of mother does…May we reach toward that, even in fear, may we find the courage to offer one another the love of mother.
Today we celebrate the spirit of mother; today we celebrate and give thanks to those who gave birth to our being, but we do more than that. Today we celebrate those who have nurtured and brought to life the love within us whether they are the ones who gave birth to our bodies or helped nurture and bring to life something within us. Today we celebrate the spirit of mother; today we celebrate those who have nurtured our lives whether in body, in mind, in heart or spirit.
Also today in celebrating the spirit of mother we acknowledge our responsibility to one another as individuals and a community to nurture, to bring to life, the love within ourselves, one another and the wider human community.
The truth is that all of us are constantly giving birth to something each and every day. We are all a part of the Divine Creation and re-creation it is really important to recognise this. As Annie Dillard wrote “ We are here to witness creation and to abet it…We are here to bring to consciousness the beauty and power that are all around us and to praise the people who are here with us.”
This is nurture, this bringing alive the spirit of mother, this is what we celebrate this day.
Story
“Once Upon a Time in Africa: Stories of Wisdom & Joy” by Joseph G. Healey
Joseph G. Healey on an African teaching story about the grace of God
"A little East African boy in Dar es Salaam wanted to meet God. He knew that it was a long trip to where God lived, so he packed his bag with small, sweet cakes and a large bottle of soda and started on his journey.
"He had been on his way for about ten minutes when he met an old woman. She was sitting in a park by the Indian Ocean just staring at some African birds. The boy sat down next to her and opened his bag. He was about to take a drink from his soda when he noticed that the old lady looked hungry, so he offered her a small cake. She gratefully accepted it and smiled at him. Her smile was so pretty that the boy wanted to see it again. So he offered her a drink from his soda. Again she smiled at him. The boy was delighted!
"The little East African boy and the old woman sat there all afternoon eating and drinking and smiling, but they never said a word. As it grew dark, the boy realized how tired he was and got up to leave. But before he had gone more than a few steps he turned around, ran back to the old woman, and gave her a big hug. She gave him her biggest smile.
"When the boy opened the door to his own home a short time later, his mother was surprised by the look of joy on his face.
"She asked him, 'What did you do today that makes you so happy?'
"He replied, 'I had lunch with God.' But before his mother could respond, he added, 'You know what? She's got the most beautiful smile I've ever seen!'
"Meanwhile, the old woman, also radiant with joy, returned to her home in the Upanga section of town.
"Her son was stunned by the look of peace on her face and he asked, 'Mother, what did you do today that makes you so happy?'
"She replied, 'I ate small cakes and drank soda in the park with God.' And then, before her son could respond, she added, 'You know, he's much younger than I expected.'
Reading
“FAREWELL LETTER” by David Whyte
(For All the Mothers Who Have Passed Away)
She wrote me a letter
after her death
and I remember
a kind of happy light
falling on the envelope
as I sat by the rose tree
on her old bench
at the back door,
so surprised by its arrival
wondering what she would say,
looking up before I could open it
and laughing to myself
in silent expectation.
‘Dear son, it is time
for me to leave you.
I am afraid that the words
you are used to hearing
are no longer mine to give,
they are gone and mingled
back in the world
where it is no longer
in my power
to be their first
original author
not their last loving bearer.
You can hear
motherly
words of affection now
only from your own mouth
and only
when you speak them
to those
who stand
motherless
before you.
As for me I must forsake
adulthood
and be bound gladly
to a new childhood.
You must understand
this apprenticeship
demands of me
an elemental innocence
from everything
I ever held in my hands.
I know your generous soul
is well able to let me go
you will in the end
be happy to know
my God was true
and I find myself
after loving you all so long,
in the wide,
infinite mercy
of being mothered myself.'
P.S. All of your intuitions are true.
...
FAREWELL LETTER
in River Flow
New & Selected Poems
Many Rivers Press © David Whyte
David Whyte writes:
A mother remains a mother even after they have passed away, and in many ways the conversation between mother and son, mother and daughter, if we allow it, can deepen, intensify and lead to new forms of love, long after their going. My mother had lost her own mother at just thirteen years old, and I had the strongest intuition just after she had passed, that she was returning to a childhood that had ended far too soon in the Ireland of her youth. To acknowledge a mother, but also to let her go into her own personhood, independent of that the fact that she brought us into this world, may be one of the more difficult steps in the deepening maturity of that indissoluble bond. DW
Hymn “Bring Flower’s to the altar”
Bring flowers to our altar to show nature’s beauty,
the harvest of goodness in earth, sky and sea.
Bring light to our altar to guide every nation
from hatred to love and to humanity.
Bring a dove to our altar its wings ever flying
in permanent quest for the peace all may share.
Bring bread to our altar the hungry supplying
and feeding the poor who depend on our care.
Bring hope to our altar in your gentle dreaming
of all the good things that will make your heart glad.
Bring love to our altar, a bright witness beaming
to all who are burdened, or lonely or sad.
Bring work to our altar, to help every nation
and celebrate all that’s already achieved.
Come yourself to our altar in true dedication
to all the ideals we in common believe.
Reading
From “The Divine Feminine: Exploring the Feminine Face of God Around the World” by Andrew Harvey, Anne Baring
Andrew Harvey and Anne Baring on the nurturing power of the Divine Mother.
"Why is the image of the Divine Mother so important? To answer this question, we need to look no further than our experience of birth into the world. First of all, there is the experience of the embryo in the womb; the experience of union or fusion and containment within a watery, nurturing matrix. After the traumatic experience of birth and the sudden and violent expulsion from this matrix, the prolongation of the earlier feelings of close relationship, trust, and safety is absolutely vital. Without the consistent and loving care of the mother in early childhood, the child has no trust in itself, no power to survive the negative life experiences, no model from which to learn how to nurture and support itself or to care for its children in turn. Its primary response to life is anxiety and fear. It is like a tree with no roots, easily torn up by a storm. Its instincts have been traumatized and damaged. With the love of the mother and trust in her presence, the child grows in strength and confidence and delights in itself and in life. Its primary response is trust.
"Without this experience, life becomes threatening, terrifying. Without it, the effort of living exhausts and dispirits. Intense and constant anxiety means that there is no resting place, no solace for loneliness, no feeling that life is something to be trusted and enjoyed. Without this positive image of the feminine, fear, like a deadly parasite, invades the soul and weakens the body. Those cultures that have no image of the Mother in the godhead are vulnerable to immensely powerful unconscious feelings of fear and anxiety, particularly when the emphasis of their religious teaching is sin and guilt. The compensation for this fear is an insatiable need for power and control over life. How hungry the human heart is for an image of a Divine Mother that would, like an umbilical cord, reconnect it to the Womb of Being, restoring the lost sense of trust and containment in a dimension that may be beyond the reach of our intellect, yet is accessible to us through our deepest instincts.”
“Love Letter to the Earth” by Thich Nhat Hanh
Thich Nhat Hanh on how Mother Earth is present in every cell of our bodies.
“Beloved Mother of All Things”
"Dear Mother Earth,
"I bow my head before you as I look deeply and recognize that you are present in me and that I'm a part of you. I was born from you and you are always present, offering me everything I need for my nourishment and growth. My mother, my father, and all my ancestors are also your children. We breathe your fresh air. We drink your clear water. We eat your nourishing food. Your herbs heal us when we're sick.
"You are the mother of all beings. I call you by the human name Mother and yet I know your mothering nature is more vast and ancient than humankind. We are just one young species of your many children. All the millions of other species who live — or have lived — on Earth are also your children. You aren't a person, but I know you are not less than a person either. You are a living breathing being in the form of a planet.
"Each species has its own language, yet as our Mother you can understand us all. That is why you can hear me today as I open my heart to you and offer you my prayer.
"Dear Mother, wherever there is soil, water, rock or air, you are there, nourishing me and giving me life. You are present in every cell of my body. My physical body is your physical body, and just as the sun and stars are present in you, they are also present in me. You are not outside of me and I am not outside of you. You are more than just my environment. You are nothing less than myself.
"I promise to keep the awareness alive that you are always in me, and I am always in you. I promise to be aware that your health and well-being is my own health and well-being. I know I need to keep this awareness alive in me for us both to be peaceful, happy, healthy, and strong.
"Sometimes I forget. Lost in the confusions and worries of daily life, I forget that my body is your body, and sometimes even forget that I have a body at all. Unaware of the presence of my body and the beautiful planet around me and within me, I'm unable to cherish and celebrate the precious gift of life you have given me. Dear Mother, my deep wish is to wake up to the miracle of life. I promise to train myself to be present for myself, my life, and for you in every moment. I know that my true presence is the best gift I can offer to you, the one I love."
Meditation
I invite us to join together now in a time of communal silence. A time for personal prayer, meditation and contemplation.
As we do so I invite us to hold our posies and to reflect in the eyes of your heart those who you would normally share this time of worship together.
In this time of physical isolation may we know that we are united by the one breath of all life. May feel those roots of love that connect us all, that move beneath our physical lives…
Let us still ourselves…Quieten our minds, still our thoughts, connect to our bodies, to our breath, the breath that connects all our lives…the one eternal breath of all life, that enlivens our finite lives…
Let us be still and silent together
Time of shared silence
Music for meditation (Choose a piece that means something to you)
Hymn
“Daisies are our silver”
1.Daisies are our silver,
Buttercups our gold:
This is all the treasure
We can have or hold.
2.Raindrops are our diamonds
And the morning dew;
While for shining sapphires
We've the speedwell blue.
3.These shall be our emeralds
Leaves so new and green;
Roses make the reddest
Rubies ever seen.
4.God, who gave these treasures
To your children small,
Teach us how to love them
And grow like them all.
5.Make us bright as silver:
Make us good as gold;
Warm as summer roses
Let our hearts unfold.
6.Gay as leaves in April,
Clear as drops of dew
God, who made the speedwell,
Keep us true to you.
Address (Written by Susan Blackshaw, she will be Susan Crosby by the time that we share this worship on Mothering Sunday)
It is Mothering Sunday so perhaps I might start with some personal context around this day ... I am the mum of 2 teenagers, Barney is 19 and Lucy is 16 (going on 17 ... 🎶 ) . My mum sadly died when I was in my 20s, I was the baby of 3 children and mum and I had always been very close.
So when I started to think about what I might share today I pondered various themes including loss, frustration with teenagers, coping with upset and as I meditated on the subject of having no mother to physically visit on Mother’s Day it led me to want to talk about when for one reason or another our own mothers are not there for us - The role of wiser women in our lives.
When my own mother died I missed so many things .. I longed for her arms around me, her interested eyes as I told her tales of my life and dramas, the way we often made each other laugh until we cried. I am absolutely blessed these days to share these wonders with my own beautiful daughter and often feel strongly the connection of ancestry that runs through the family line.
I feel a little young to say it but, without the generation above me gone I suppose I am the matriarch of this little branch of our family tree. I take that seriously and in much of my spiritual practice it is with reference and reverence that I sit in circle for 7 generations of women past and 7 generations to come.
It puts me in my place.
I missed not only the unconditional love and physical affection of my mum but also the loss of that maternal voice who knew me and spoke the truth, to say at times “pull yourself together”, “get over yourself”, “step up”. It was as though with no mum around to perform to, I lost the will to be my best self.
So much is said these days about nurturing our own ‘inner child’ through self development and therapy and believe me I tried! Personally speaking, I had years of therapy, banging on every week about myself. I was not able to be entirely honest back then and though the therapists (I exhausted 2 of them!) gave me their time (not for free by the way) I never really uncovered much truth about myself.
I had to become open to other voices ... to stop trying to analyse myself and looking at my own naval but rather opening up to guidance from influences and help both visible and invisible.
The transformation in me, like most folk, has been gradual and is ongoing.
I have spiritual practices in my life. I pray, I meditate, I do all sorts of ritual, chanting, dancing, singing to keep revitalising the channels that might bring in some help and direction from the Great Spirit of the Universe that I have come to believe is guiding me.
On the human side it is by listening, reading, watching, emulating other women whom I respect that I have learned so much. Some of these women are actively in my life - I am blessed with an abundance of friends and a handful of remarkably close relationships - some of these women I may never meet in person, but to whom I will forever be deeply grateful for the wisdom they have passed on. Writers and thinkers like Brene Brown and her knowledge on the importance of belonging and vulnerability, she is a social scientist and researcher but can translate her work into spiritual practice too. I have piles of books by the bed, full of wisdom to be read.
There are universal truths - ways to whatever religion, faith or background that we can live by and with. To be kind, considerate, patient with others. To witness these ways of being in others gives us a glimpse of how we might grow towards practising them ourselves.
The nurturing spirit of our mothers may be absent or present in our lives but we can find it in other places besides that biological connection. I had to open to that idea or live without this key ingredient in my recipe for the good life.
It might be a spiritual mentor, a senior colleague who takes us under their wing, a religious leader, it might be a woman who is feeling the lack of someone to whom she can pass on her own stories, a junior on whom to spread her sparkles, her sayings, the things she has learned. We have a natural instinct to share and to hear the knowledge of ancient ways. This can be in practical and more abstract ways; sharing recipes, a listening ear, it can be passing on our own family traditions and quirks and it can be reaching further than that ...
I was introduced to Jamie Sams book ‘The 13 Original Clan Mothers’ by a woman who has been fundamental to me on my journey to spiritual enlightenment (not that I claim to be at my destination yet!)
In this book “The wisdom and beauty of Native American Women’s Medicine, the teachings of the 13 Original Clan Mothers” various aspects of the feminine principle are represented and serve as role models and Spirit Teachers for contemporary women and men on their personal spiritual journeys. Through ancient teachings, through stories of connection with all physical beings we are guided to discover our own gifts, talents and abilities.
I warmed to this approach on first reading. Tribal wisdom, which would have been passed down in the oral tradition, passing and receiving guidance through the experience of our elders. A very appropriate contemplation for Mothering Sunday.
As a professional Celebrant I have conducted many funerals, a handful of weddings and, perhaps my favourite, services and ceremonies to welcome a new baby into the world.
When I am honoured to conduct Baby Naming Ceremonies I will always refer to that age old expression “it takes a village to raise a child”. I will be saying that to a room full of people who have been invited to share in a very special day offering welcome to the new life in the tribe and offering support to the parents of that child. It is always a day full of love and laughter, hope and expectation. I always ask for a bit of audience participation and a good call and return to the congregation I ask “will you be there?” To a hearty reply of “Yes, we will be there!”.
Jamie Sams the writer who gathered these stories into this important book relates: “There are 2 bylaws that are Native American Traditions - protect the women and never do anything that would hurt the children
We look to create a world where women can feel safe anywhere and anytime. When that occurs, the nurturing of children’s dreams is taken care of by women who have become extensions of the Earth Mother and thus Mothers of the Creative Force.”
Harmony comes when there is no pecking order in those who nurture. Whether we are at home full-time with our children, juggling 2 jobs, running our own businesses, working full time with a partner at home as principal caregiver... No matter what the personal circumstances or life choices we remember that we would never do anything that would hurt the children. If we are struggling with the weight of responsibility take a leaf from the Native American book and ask for help, bring in others to meet your children’s needs, share the joy of raising and nurturing those lives.
The practice of learning through observing is the way that Native American Tribes have taught Clan or family members to develop their skills for centuries. We are only as accomplished as those we choose as our role models or teachers. When a child showed a skill or talent of some kind, the family would go to the Tribe Member who was the very best at that particular thing and ask if the child could learn from that person. This ensured that the child would learn from the very best teacher available.
We can take these learnings wider than the human role models, what about those trees with the root systems that feed each other, support each other in times of danger, some would say “talk to each other”. The living world beyond the human gives us many examples to emulate.
Today there are an abundance of ways to find role models. Books, seminars, schools, the infinite internet. We can make it our priority to develop new ways to look at our lifestyles and our environment. We can decide to live in a way that shows respect for the Earth Mother and All Our Relations.
Everything in life is our teacher and everything is alive. The discovery of that aliveness is the adventure of life, who or what will teach us today?
There are many habits and set ideas which we hold onto even though they limit us from the world of positive change. Preferring to stay in the familiar comfort of disappointment, resentment and fear we see others we might admire but can’t seem to make a decision to change ourselves. It is far easier to see the wrong behaviour in another than it is to see our own refusal to take right action.
It is also easy to be stuck in our own ideas for others..
It was with great relief that I happened upon my first Unitarian service ... I knew that I had moral and ethical beliefs but would not want to commit to any doctrine or set of rules.
I’m not very good at being told what to do!
The rigidity within belief systems that makes one faith the true faith and all others false is one of the mainstays of destruction in the world today.
However I realise these days that I do like being shown what to do by those I admire and I love to look for signs as I go about my daily and nightly business. How can I be the best version of me, for the greater good? Instances happen all the time. What about the idea that there is no coincidence only God instances? I am willing to be taught.
In the Native American Way of the Ancestors, if a person received a dream or vision about a particular way to perform a task, ceremony, or healing, it was never questioned because it was between that person and the Great Mystery. They would then share this wisdom with the the rest of the tribe. Through suggestion and positive role modelling the wiser members might pass on ways of being to those who are seeking some answers.
The question would be “why are we not listening to inspiration and direction as the planet speaks to us?”
I have been attending Unitarian services for 4 years now but come from a Church of England background. Initially it was about sharing sacred space with others on a Sunday but I find the philosophy of the movement is integrating more and more throughout my life. Acceptance of difference and the freedom of thought. Tolerance of others is the norm. As in the Native American tradition if people chose to dress differently or follow any course of action that was not hurting others, it was accepted as their way of doing things and was not judged. For the most part, families living in a tribal situation did not stick their noses in anyone else’s business unless they were asked to.
“Protect the women and never do anything to harm the children”
This could translate now to protect the nurturers, gender is not the issue here, rather seeing woman as the feminine principle which can be present in men too.
We gather the gifts of woman when we allow all persons to make their own choices about who and what they want to be and then allow them to find a path that suits their personality and unique way of learning those skills. These are the gifts of the good mother who refuses to smother her children but instead gives responsibility according to each child’s capacity. This manner of allowing a child to develop the ability to respond from his or her sense of integrity, his or her soul/orenda/voice within ensures that the children will become self-reliant.
On this Mothering Sunday we can make a decision not to say “do as I do” but to give unattached guidance, proper boundaries and at the same time providing a fertile ground for developing the seeds of potential.
By taking responsibility for our own personal vision and learning from our role models and guides we can then become a role model for others, whether we are aware of it or not.
The more gifts we gather and the more skills we develop, the more enlightenment we are able to share with others.
For women and for men. For those with children of their own. For those whose mothers are still alive. For those who grieve. For little ones with dreams of the future....
Stay awake to the teachings of the world - to Mother Nurture - and the potential is limitless. The time has never been more fertile - who or what will teach you today and who might you teach?
Amen
Prayer
I would like to invite us to join together once more in prayer…Let us pray..
Let us pray
Prayer for All Who Mother
We reflect in gratitude this day for all those whose lives have nurtured ours.
The life-giving ones
Who heal with their presence
Who listen in sympathy
Who give wise advice ... but only when asked for it.
We are grateful for all those who have mothered us
Who have held us gently in times of sorrow
Who celebrated with us our triumphs -- no matter how small
Who noticed when we changed and grew,
who praised us for taking risks
who took genuine pride in our success,
and who expressed genuine compassion when we did not succeed.
On this day that honours Mothers
let us honour all mothers
men and women alike
who from somewhere in their being
have freely and wholeheartedly given life, and sustenance, and vision to us.
Dear God, Mother-Father of us all,
grant us life-giving ways
strength for birthing,
and a nurturing spirit
that we may take attentive care of our world,
our communities, and those precious beings
entrusted to us by biology, or by destiny, or by friendship, fellowship or fate.
Give us the heart of a mother today.
Amen
Hymn “Earth was given as a garden”
Earth was given as a garden,
cradle for humanity;
tree of life and tree of knowledge
placed for our discovery.
Here was home for all your creatures
born of land and sky and sea;
all created in your image,
all to live in harmony.
Show to us again the garden
where all life flows fresh and free.
Gently guide your sons and daughters
into full maturity.
Teach us how to rust each other,
how to use for good our power,
how to touch the earth with reverence.
Then once more will Eden flower.
Bless the earth and all her children.
One creation, make us whole,
interwoven, all connected,
planted wide and inmost soul.
Holy mother, life bestowing,
bid our waste and warfare cease.
Fill us all with grace o’erflowing.
Teach us how to live in peace.
Benediction
There is too much hardship in this world to not find joy,
every day
There is too much injustice in this world to not right the balance,
every day
There is too much pain in this world to not heal,
every day
Each of us ministers to a weary world.
Let us go forth now and do that which calls us to make this world
more loving, more compassionate and more filled with the grace of divine presence,
every day
And may the love of God hold us and sustain us in all that we feel and all that we think and all that we say and all that we do.
Amen
One creation, make us whole,
interwoven, all connected,
planted wide and inmost soul.
Holy mother, life bestowing,
bid our waste and warfare cease.
Fill us all with grace o’erflowing.
Teach us how to live in peace.
Benediction
There is too much hardship in this world to not find joy,
every day
There is too much injustice in this world to not right the balance,
every day
There is too much pain in this world to not heal,
every day
Each of us ministers to a weary world.
Let us go forth now and do that which calls us to make this world
more loving, more compassionate and more filled with the grace of divine presence,
every day
And may the love of God hold us and sustain us in all that we feel and all that we think and all that we say and all that we do.
Amen
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