Do you believe in angels? Do you believe there is something good in everything you see?

There are messengers of love and hope all around us. The real problem is that we just don't see it and just don't believe it...Do I believe in angels? I see them everywhere...Do I believe that there is something good in everything? I cannot fail to see it, If I would but open my eyes.


I love the following story it says so much about how even people of great faith can fail to see the blessings right in front of their eyes...I see angels everywhere...

A terrible storm came into a town and local officials sent out an emergency warning that the riverbanks would soon overflow and flood the nearby homes. They ordered everyone in the town to evacuate immediately.

A deeply faithful man heard the warning and decided to stay, saying to himself, “I will trust God and if I am in danger, then God will send a divine miracle to save me.”

The neighbours came by his house and said to him, “We’re leaving and there is room for you in our car, please come with us!” But the man declined. “I have faith that God will save me.”

As the man stood on his porch watching the water rise up the steps, a man in a canoe paddled by and called to him, “Hurry and come into my canoe, the waters are rising quickly!” But the man again said, “No thanks, God will save me.”

The floodwaters rose higher pouring water into his living room and the man had to retreat to the second floor. A police motorboat came by and saw him at the window. “We will come up and rescue you!” they shouted. But the man refused, waving them off saying, “Use your time to save someone else! I have faith that God will save me!”

The flood waters rose higher and higher and the man had to climb up to his rooftop.

A helicopter spotted him and dropped a rope ladder. A rescue officer came down the ladder and pleaded with the man, "Grab my hand and I will pull you up!" But the man STILL refused, folding his arms tightly to his body. “No thank you! God will save me!”

Shortly after, the house broke up and the flood waters swept the man away and he drowned.

When in Heaven, the man stood before God and asked, “I put all of my faith in You. Why didn’t You come and save me?”

And God said, “Son, I sent you a warning. I sent you a car. I sent you a canoe. I sent you a motorboat. I sent you a helicopter. What more were you looking for?”

There are angels all around us bearing gifts of love and compassion, they are truly heaven sent. The problem is we just do not see it or we cannot believe it.

Last week I attended an interfaith friendship circle at the home of Michael Jackson, no not the recently deceased prince of pop, but a local solicitor. Michael has been practising Buddhism since the early 1970’s, is married to a Jewish woman and also attends and leads a meditation class at the local Anglican Church. He is a great example of religious pluralism in action.

Michael led a conversation on Buddhism, his personal experiences with it and his understanding of the tradition. It was an enjoyable evening and we shared a lively discussion. I have been listening to a lot of different Buddhist recently and each time I seem to hear a different take on it. This happens in all walks of life and in all faith traditions I suspect, I know it is not unique to Buddhism.

During the conversation Michael talked about the Buddha finding enlightenment under the Bodhi tree and his experience of doubt and confusion as to what he ought to do about it. Michael described how a Brahmin Angel descended from the heavenly realm and spoke to the Buddha and told him that he must go and teach what he had learnt. For some reason it was this part of the discussion that made me sit up and really listen. Mohsin, a Muslim, also took particularly interest. I suspect that this is because Mohammad had experienced a similar encounter. He saw the arch angel Gabriel by the Lote – tree. I had never heard a Buddhist talk about angels before, nor have I heard a Brahmin Angel described before. The Brahmin is the Hindu word for the Divine. I was a little puzzled by all of this, it certainly got me thinking.

I have been thinking about angels ever since, both in the religious traditions and in ordinary everyday life. If angels are messengers from God, then surely we can all meet them in our everyday encounters. I have come to believe that the Divine speaks through everyday life. As one of my favourite hymns goes “God speaks to us in bird and song , in winds that move the clouds along , above the din of toil and wrong, a melody of love.” I think the problem is not so much whether angels exist or not, it’s that we are just not aware of them. We don’t see them and we don’t hear them because they are everywhere. We cannot see the wood for all of the trees.

Angels are of course central to the Christmas story. At this time of year we are surrounded by them. Just go to virtually any primary school up and down the land and you will see little boys and girls dressed as Angels, somewhere in the background. No they don’t get the central lead roles, but they are there quietly and serenely watching over the main players.

The Hebrew and Greek words for angel (malak and aggelos) simply means “messenger”. In the Christmas story it is the Arch Angel Gabriel who delivers the news that Elizabeth will give birth to John the Baptist and that Mary will soon be carrying Jesus. These are both described as miracles as Elizabeth cannot have children and Mary is a virgin. Gabriel appears again to the Shepherds and it is said during the Easter story too. Within the Judea-Christian tradition angels are seen as the deliverers of the “good news”. The Jewish scriptures are littered with individuals encountering angels. In some of these accounts it is suggested that not only are these angels delivering a message from the Divine but may well be God itself. They are sometimes referred to as “the angel of the Lord” and not just simply an angel (by the way another memeber of the Altrincham Interfaith Group is called Ann Angel and yes she is).

Angels are found in other traditions too. In Islam they are depicted as messengers of Allah. Belief in angels is one of the six articles of the Islamic faith. The Baha’i faith depicts angels as beings who have been released from the bondages of self and become endowed with the attributes of the spiritual and are therefore revealers of God’s Love and Grace. In Zoroastrianism angels are not messengers of the divine but are instead associated with different aspects of the divine creation, in this sense they are similar to the Hindu Deva’s. Zoroastrians also believe that each person has their own guardian angel.  Angels or their equivalent are found in many other traditions too, both ancient and modern.

It is untrue to see belief in angels as some relic from the past that has been dismissed in the modern age. I have met many people who talk of their belief in angels and who claim to have encountered them in their lives. When they do talk of angels I suspect that they are not talking about some winged genderless character such as is depicted in art of even in films like “Dogma”, although I know that some are.

In 2009 a survey by the economist revealed that 55% of Americans believed in angels. The same survey revealed that only 39% believed in evolution; 36% believed in anthropogenic global warming; 34% believed in ghosts; and 34% believed in UFO’s. A similar survey in Britain revealed that 34% of the population expressed a definite belief in angels, as messengers of God. Similar results can be found in surveys conducted around the world. Many people believe in angels. some people who do believe in angels express a disbelief in God. Many of those who say that they believe go further, claiming that they have actually encountered angels in their lives.

What can be made of all of this? Well I personally have too much respect for humanity to merely dismiss these claims. I hope I never mock people for what their honest reflection on their own life experiences have taught them. Personally I am not aware of encountering angels in the way that some people describe them, either today or in ancient times. Therefore I find it difficult to believe in angels in a literal sense. That said when they are described as a presence that either watches over us or as a messenger from God, then I can say that I am constantly experiencing them. I certainly hear messages of peace and goodwill increasingly in my life, even during the hardest of times. These guardians and or messengers do not have to have wings or halos. Nor do they have to live in some celestial realm. They are here amongst us, right here right now.

I have come to know the lure of Divine love, I have experience of the Divine constantly offering itself to me and believe this is happening to all life. I believe that God or at least God’s love is constantly speaking in and through life waiting for a response. If I pay attention to what is around me, I know that I am surrounded by angels. I see them in ordinary everyday life; people carrying messages of love to one another, people who are sent to rescue one another. I have witnessed it in the world I inhabit and I see it in my daily interactions. That said I also see darkness too. I see people turning away from love and hurting one another. Maybe we do this because we cannot or will not listen to the messages of love trying to burst into our lives.

I have also heard about these angels in the conversations I have with ordinary everyday people. I am not just talking about acts of kindness here, but also moments when something has spoken directly to people and they felt guided and led at important moments in their lives and as a result have responded appropriately. I offer a prayer of thanks for every single one of those messages of love that people have shared with me. Thank you.

I believe that there is that of God in each and every one of us, we are all made from the same stuff and we all return to it in the end. God to me speaks through life. Therefore all of life is potentially a messenger of the Divine. We just need to be open to the love within life and respond to it in order to experience and express it and pass it on to others. We certainly need it.

We encounter angels in our lives each and every day. They are here among us; they are in our homes and in our communities.

We are all sent by God. We are all God sent. We are all messengers of that Divine love.

The language of the heart is universal. It can break through any barrier. The key is to listen for it and learn to express it and to let love have its way.

The Ache of Loneliness continued: Hell is a place where nothing connects

There is no greater ache than the loneliness of no longer being touched by life, this is hell. Hell is a place where nothing connects, therefore surely Heaven must be a place where everything connects.

It was T.S. Elliot who claimed that “Hell is a place where nothing connects” and that “Hell is oneself,” John Paul Satre replied to this by saying that no, “Hell is other people.”

The truth is that to some extent they are both correct. Hell, at least on earth, can often be oneself and it can be other people too.

Elliot believed that it was self absorption and self protection that caused people to feel separate and alone. So many of us have highly developed self awareness and yet we still feel cut off from life. Are we too self absorbed? Do we suffer because we live over examined and yet under connected lives? Have we become lost in ourselves?

I believe there is truth in this, although it is not the whole truth. Perhaps some people feel cut off and alone because they are too focused on the faults in others. How often do we hear folk blaming others for all of their problems? This builds barriers and creates loneliness and cuts people off from one another. Yes hell can be ourselves and yes it can be other people too.

For many years of my life I felt disconnected cut off, lost and lonely. I felt like I was living in hell. I saw hell as myself and I also saw it as other people too. From a young age I learnt to protect myself from life, from pain. Of course I failed utterly in my attempts to do so, all I succeeded in achieving, eventually, was to cut myself off from any joy and actually experienced a deeper more ingrained suffering, what I have heard described as “the suffering within the suffering”.

I have learnt that Heaven and Hell, at least here on earth, are two sides of the same coin. They possess similar characteristics, although there is one important difference, how they are experienced. How we respond to suffering illustrates this perfectly. Two people can go through the same difficulties in life and yet they will often react to them very differently. For one it may well be described as a living hell and yet for the other they may well claim that they have had a taste of heaven as they walked through their troubles.

Suffering can cause division within ourselves and others either through self pity, or embarrassment or through the sense that life is treating us unfairly, that fate is singling us out. That said the very same experience of suffering can also unite us through a deeper shared sense of compassion and empathy. Suffering can lead us to feel as though we have been cast into hell and yet through it we can also get a taste of heaven. Or as Forrest Church put it “At times of trouble, alone we are often lost. But by reaching out to and for others we entertain the possibility of redemption.” In our suffering we can build up walls of self protection and yet at the same time this same suffering can foster compassion within us.

The fostering of compassion is I believe the purpose of religious community. By developing our compassion we can create heaven in our own lifetimes. By not fleeing from suffering, our own, or that of others, we can show to one another that in times of trouble we are not alone, we are not lost. By reaching out both to and for others we get a taste of heaven. Karen Armstrong says” that religion isn't about believing things. It's ethical alchemy. It's about behaving in a way that changes you, that gives you intimations of holiness and sacredness." For me these intimations of holiness and sacredness is what connection is all about.

Heaven is a place where everything connects.

I wish I knew how it would feel to be free

Is freedom possible? Do we even know how to be free? Do we even know how it feels to be free?

Life does seem to put limits on our freedom. Society puts constraints on the way we act and communicate with one another. It would seem that there are even limits for the artist, although thank God they are constantly being broken down.

Creativity often flows from coming to terms with life’s challenges and through learning to communicate with a variety of people. For me this is becoming the key to ministry. It has taken me time to develop spiritual intimacy with the communities I serve and to learn how to communicate with the people I share worship with.

Unitarians claim freedom of the pulpit but we don’t have absolute freedom to do whatever we fancy, reason and tolerance are the counter balance to this.  We do need to push boundaries though at times. If our history had not been littered with folk who were prepared to do that then we would not exist today as a free religious community unconstrained by creed and dogma. That said I am not convinced that we enjoy total freedom, societal norms and human expectations constrain everyone at times. And there are positives to this as it gives people stability and a groundedness that any community needs.

I have shared the following story before in a previous blog (This version was written by Rev Darlison). I love it, it speaks powerfully to me. I believe that it is strikingly symbolic of Hindu spirituality.

While travelling alone through some rough terrain, a man called Mitali stayed the night in a wayside inn. Tired from his journey, he went to bed and was on the point of falling asleep when he heard a voice calling, Freedom! Freedom! I want to be free!” from the courtyard below his window.

“Someone must be trapped nearby, “ thought Mitali. “I’ll go see if I can help”

He descended to the courtyard and looked around, but he could see nobody. Thinking he must have imagined the voice, he was about to go back in the room when he heard it again: “Freedom! Freedom! I want to be free!” but it wasn’t coming from a person; it was coming from a parrot sitting in a golden cage.

“How cruel”, thought Mitali. “no bird should be imprisoned like that”. He walked over to the cage and opened the door. “off you go!” he said to the bird. “You can go free now”

The parrot sat on its perch, calling out “Freedom! Freedom! I want to be free”, but it didn’t move. Mitali put his hand in the cage, but the parrot cowered away, all the while calling for freedom but making no move towards the open door.

Gently taking hold of the parrot, Mitali tried to drag it through the caged door, but the parrot resisted mightily, pecking at his would-be liberator’s hand until the blood flowed copiously. Undaunted by the pain, Mitali finally released the bird and threw it up in the air. “Your free now my friend. Go off and enjoy your liberty!” The parrot flew off, and was soon lost to sight in the darkness of the moonless night.

Feeling very pleased with himself, Mitali went to bed. “Captivity is wrong for man or beast,” he thought. “Birds should be free to fly; they shouldn’t be forced to sit in cages for the entertainment of human beings. At least I’ve helped one creature to escape to freedom.”

He slept very soundly that night.

With the dawn he awoke, and he smiled as he remembered his good deed of a few hours before. But then he heard the voice once more. “Freedom! Freedom! I want to be free!” “The parrot hasn’t gone very far,” he thought. “He must have perched on a nearby tree or rock. Perhaps he is sitting on the roof of the inn.”

Mitali went down to the courtyard to have a look. But the parrot wasn’t perched on the roof of the building. Nor was he on a nearby tree, or on a rock. He was back in the cage, shouting for freedom, and the cage door was open.

In many religious traditions the soul is often symbolised by a bird and it’s the same in Hinduism. The Hindu term for what we understand as the soul is the Atman. The Atman refers to the eternal none material aspect of the self. It never changes and is distinct from the mind and body. This real self is beyond the temporary characteristics of race, gender and even species. Ideas about reincarnation are natural extension of this concept. For Hindu’s consciousness, in whatever way it may manifest, is merely a symptom of the soul. Therefore for the physical life to have awareness it requires the soul.

The story of the caged parrot is symbolic of the soul becoming trapped by the body and or the mind, it is crying out to be set free. It is offered freedom but fights against it. Finally it is set free, but does not like or want this freedom and therefore returns to the cage, crying out for freedom “Freedom! Freedom! I want to be free”

As Rousseau said “Man is born free, and everywhere he is in chains”.

How can we free the soul? How do we attain this freedom? How do we set the soul free? How do we truly live as ourselves amongst others and with others? How do we escape the chains that bind us? How do we leave the cage behind? What can we do to stop ourselves from opening the cage door, climb back in, sit on the perch and squawk “freedom, freedom, I want to be free” How can spiritual freedom be attained?

For me the key to spiritual freedom has to be self transcendence. In my experience it is through self sacrifice that we truly find ourselves and we set our souls, minds and bodies free to live as we were born to live. This seems to go against the grain of much 21^st century thinking which seems to be all about me feeling good about me, right now. More, more, more, now, now, now!

The Rev Alex Bradley, the principle at Unitarian College Manchester, where I trained for the ministry suggests:

“People sacrifice themselves to others in various ways. In doing so, they find themselves. They give themselves in the lives they lead. They may be seemingly ordinary nameless people or ones whose names live on. Margeret Barr in lifelong self service, James Reeb in prophetic witness at the cost of his life. Real freedom is lived in relation to others: real freedom is found in community.

Real freedom is about choice, and sometimes it is found through the narrow gate. It is found in the true self and it is found in self denial. Jesus spoke of the kingdom as a great feast for all. He also said that those seeking to save their lives would lose them, and those who lost their lives would find them.

Here is the spiritual paradox that all the great faiths have taught. Here I believe is real freedom.”

Alex makes a very powerful point. Through self sacrifice, in community, the true self is revealed and we are set free from the cage, we stop squawking about freedom and begin to actually enjoy it.

The great twentieth century Hindu Gandhi saw Jesus as the great example of this. He held him up as the ideal Satyagraha, which is resistance to evil through soul force. Gandhi, a Hindu, studied the Bible everyday for years and was greatly impressed with the New Testament particularly “The sermon on the Mount”. Like many Hindu’s it was the gentle figure of Jesus that he admired, who taught his followers not to retaliate and to resist violence. For him it was not the historical event of Jesus that mattered, but what the example of the message of his life had to offer humanity.  For Gandhi Christ exemplified what it meant to serve your fellow humans and saw this as the guiding principle of his life. He saw the cross as being the perfect example of this sacrifice. He saw the cross as the perfect metaphor of self transcendence.

 

So is self transcendence the key to freedom? There are those who will say no to this and cry out “If I lose myself what will be left?”

Well self transcendence is not about destruction of “self” it is actually about the discovery of the “real self”. It is the key to “real freedom”. It is not a new idea and is a message found at the root of the great religious traditions, theistic and non-theistic. I like to call it the "Diamond principle". Through self transcendence our “real” nature is fully revealed; the “Great Reality”, deep down within every man, woman and child and all life for that matter. Some call this the “Cosmic Christ” or “Cosmic God”, what Matthew Fox has named as the “I am” in everything. It is a faith based on change, dare I say transformation, because this “I am” can reshape matter for ever. It is a change that is brought on by the spiritual activity of self giving love.

Self transcendence is “really” about delighting in our very being, by understanding that we exist beyond the confines of ourselves. Keith Ward has described it as “Non – egoist delight in being” Karen Armstrong suggests “For human beings transcendence is part of our experience of the world”. It not only changes how we are as individuals but how we relate to the world. It opens our eyes to a far more universal perspective. It enables us to see the world through the eyes of others and not just from our own narrow perspectives. This breeds compassion and leads to a “real freedom” that transforms the world for ever.

To be really free requires courage. It requires us to speak and be our truth and to do so in love. We need not be afraid to express who we are and where we are coming from; we need not be stifled by the fear of what others may or may not think of us. Freedom is not something to merely talk about as an abstract concept but something to be experienced and expressed, but I don’t believe that happens in isolation. It happens when we come together and meet and give of ourselves to each other. You see by dancing our dance and showing others they can do likewise, we encourage one another to know how it feels to be free.

It is no good merely squawking about freedom, “Freedom! Freedom! I want to be free” We need to show the world what it means to know how it feels to be free.

Learning From Monkeys: Lessons From History

Can we learn from history or are we doomed to keep on repeating the same mistakes?

Please watch the following clip.

I love the following story probably because it kind of teaches the opposite of the above clip.

“The Monkey’s and the caps” taken from “The shortest distance: 101 Stories from the World’s Spiritual Traditions” by Bill Darlison

Aurangzeb sold caps for a living. He would travel to a village, set up his stall in the market place and sell his caps to the locals. One day while travelling from one village to the next, he was very tired. The sun was shining, and he’d had a busy morning, so he put down his heavy sack of caps and sat down in the shade of a mango tree to snooze. After an hour or so he woke up refreshed, but when he picked up his sack he found that it was empty. “Where are my caps?” he thought. “I’m sure this sack was nearly full when I went to sleep.” Just then he looked up into the tree and saw a gang of monkeys each with a cap on his head. “Hey those are my caps!” shouted Aurangzeb. “Give them back to me!” But the monkeys just seemed to mock him, imitating his shout. So he pulled a funny face, and each of the monkeys pulled a funny face, too. But they wouldn’t give back his caps. He picked up a stone and threw it at the monkeys. They responded by throwing magoes at him. He was really angry now, and in his frustration, he took off his own cap and threw it to the ground. The monkeys took off their caps and threw them to the ground! They were imitating him! Without further ado, Aurangzeb picked up all the caps from the grass, put them in his sack, and went on his way, thinking how clever he had been to outsmart the monkeys.

Fifty years later, Habib, Aurangzeb’s grandson, was selling caps. He’d inherited the family business. He was travelling from one village to the next on a hot day, and he felt he needed a rest. He sought out the shade of a mango tree, put down his sack of caps, and sat down to snooze. He woke refreshed after an hour, but when he picked up his sack he found it was empty. “Where are my caps?” he asked himself. “I’m sure this sack was nearly full when I went to sleep.” Then he looked up into the trees and saw dozens of monkeys, each with a cap on his head. How could he possibly get them back? Then something stirred in his brain. He remembered a story his grandfather had told him many years ago, about how he had outwitted some monkeys by getting them to imitate him. So Habib stood up. He put up his right arm; the monkeys put up their right arm. He put up his left arm; the monkeys did the same. Habib scratched his nose; the monkey’s scratched their noses. He pulled a face, rocked from side to side, stood on one leg. Each time the monkeys copied him. Then...Habib took off his cap and threw it to the ground. The monkeys didn’t respond. So Habib tried again. He put up his right arm, his left arm, he scratched his nose, he pulled a face, rocked from side to side, stood on one leg. Each time the monkeys imitated his actions. Once again he put his hand to his head, took off his cap and threw it to the ground. No response from the monkeys.

Feeling miserable, Habib picked up his empty sack and began to walk home. He hadn’t gone far when he felt a tap on his shoulder. He looked round and saw a monkey with a big smile on its face. “Do you think you’re the only one with a grandfather? Asked the monkey.

Sometimes it is wise to listen to our grandparents, they have a lot to teach us.

George Santayana once said “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”

Is memory enough though? Is knowledge even enough? Can these stop us from repeating the same mistakes we have always made? Can we learn from our pasts? Or are we in fact slaves to it and condemned to carry on repeating it?

In the second story the monkeys learn from their ancestors and are therefore not suckered into throwing down their caps so that Habib cannot take them back from them. Where as in the story of the caged monkeys and the banana it is the monkeys that are already in the cage that hold the newcomers back “because that is the way that things have always been done around there.” The monkeys were frightened to climb up the ladder because of what the other monkeys already in the cage told them. History and old ways held them back.

Yes lessons can learnt from the past, but it can also hold us back. It is important to remember that the fruit of a tree are not found in its roots, although good solid foundations are vital to its sustained growth.

Learning about the history of my Unitarian tradition has been vital to understanding my ministry. We are not some new age flash in the pan. Our roots date back to the Hebrew prophets, people who led the way in religious exploration.

Frank Waller puts it almost perfectly. He said:

“Our tradition is not narrow; neither is it formless. It embraces the Hebrew prophets’ demand for justice. It includes Socrates with his radiant critical spirit, testing all things and holding fast to what is good. It is inspired by the loving generosity of Jesus that still awakens the humanitarian spirit in us. It is receptive to the discoveries of modern science.

Tradition is a life giving stream. Yet it can become icy, so we need to smash the frozen moulds to let the warm living current flow freely again. Tradition and innovation go together.”

Tradition and innovation go together. It is vital to learn the lessons from the past and be inspired by them, but it is just as important to never be held back or stifled by it either.

I recently enjoyed a talk given by the students of Manchester Metropolitan University on the life of William Gaskell. I recognise the work done in the past by Unitarian greats, such as William but I never want to make idols out of them and spend forever looking back at what they did. I’m sure they didn’t, they were people of their time and space.

History has so much to teach us, we need to pay attention to it. That said we should never be held back by it. We should listen to our ancestors so we can learn from our pasts, but we ought not to try and mimic them. We live in a different world today. It is not always the case that just because this is the way that things have always been done, that this the way that they should continue to be done.

Any change always begins with awareness, although I am fully aware that this in itself is not enough. Knowledge alone does not necessarily bring about the power required to change.

The Ache of Loneliness

(The following article was written on 27th November 2011)

I was listening to the radio this afternoon, relaxing and preparing myself for leading worship this evening when I heard the tragic news of the death of Gary Speed, the forty two year old manager of the Welsh football team. Gary was a one time hero of my mine as he was part of the championship winning Leeds United midfield of 1992. It emerged a little later that Gary had taken his own life. This was perhaps even more shocking. Why had this healthy talented and seemingly well balanced man taken his own life? No doubt more will be revealed in the coming weeks, but I suspect no satisfactory explanation will ever be unearthed. Suicide, depression and the aching loneliness that so many of us suffer from has never been adequately understood and it has never been resolved. In fact it would appear that as humanity has progressed materially it has regressed emotionally and spiritually. Loneliness, mental illness and suicide appear to be on the increase. I have been there myself and I have witnessed friends and loved ones going through this living hell too. Haven’t we all. I suspect that there is not a family in the land that has not experienced the shadow of suicide.

Today is Advent Sunday, which marks the beginning of the Christmas season; a time of joy and celebration, a time for family and fun. For most folk Christmas is the happiest time of the year. That said for others it can be the hardest. It can bring all those feelings and emotions that they have been trying to deal with to the surface. For some people Christmas can bring them face to face with their own loneliness. For some people Christmas can be hell.

For many years I struggled with Christmas as I struggled with my own humanity. For me Christmas brought me face to face with the extent of my own loneliness and isolation. This is no longer the case I’ve danced with most of my demons, but I do remember how it felt and I know that so many people still suffer with these feelings. I know this because they tell me. Yes people tell me of their joys and triumphs but they also tell me of their pain and suffering. One of the hardest aspects of ministry is being with people in utter despair. It does keep you humble though, as it shows you the limits of your power. Sometimes all that is left is tears and prayer.

Loneliness is a horrible, horrible thing. It separates us from others; it makes us believe we are the only ones. It saps our vitality. It makes us feel scared, insecure and vulnerable. The isolation and disconnectedness that it fosters leaves us feeling unloved and worse still unlovable, Loneliness is an assault on our humanity and our worth and dignity. It makes us ask the question, do I really belong here? It brings us face to face with the void, with those questions and fears we do not want to entertain; the fear that we are alone and of course the fear of death. It brings to the surface the suspicion that there really is no rhyme or reason to life, no purpose, no meaning.

Loneliness can be terrifying. We do all we can to avoid it. We spend an awful lot of time convincing ourselves that we are not alone. How many times a day do we check our e-mails, our facebook updates, or mobile phones, or convince ourselves that someone has knocked at the door? How often do we think we have heard someone call out our name in the street?

Loneliness appears to manifest itself in three basic forms. I have heard them described as intimate loneliness, social loneliness and loneliness of the spirit, an existential or cosmic loneliness.

The primary cause of intimate loneliness is the loss of a loved one. Such as a partner, lover, parent, friend, sibling or god forbid a child. It is not the only cause though. Many people long for an intimate connection that goes way beyond the closeness of everyday friendships.

Social loneliness occurs when we feel cut off from others, when we feel isolated from the social networks that we need. It stems from a lack of companionship and or community. Modern living is a major source of social loneliness. Modern life provides decreasing opportunity to visit friends and loved ones. We increasingly communicate through technology and less so face to face. We expand far less energy on human social interaction. Our culture sees more people working longer hours. Productivity is increasingly prized, while connecting and interacting with friends is seen as a luxury and not a necessity. When I look at how we live today I am forced to ask the question, is this really progress?

The loneliness of the spirit, this emptiness of the soul this existential or cosmic loneliness is more difficult to understand and or explain. Some describe this as a ‘God sized hole’ or hole in the soul. This makes sense to me. How else can this feeling of being lonely or longing for something, without knowing what it is be explained? How else can we make sense of the feeling of missing someone, we’ve never met, that feeling of loneliness in a crowd, that need for something more? This feeling of being cut off from life and the rest of humanity. This feeling that you don’t quite belong. I have struggled with all of these emotions at times in my life and am occasionally visited by these ghosts today. When they come they are as terrifying as they always were. Thank God they no longer linger.

This hunger, this longing, this deep rooted loneliness that dwells in so many of us cannot be filled by relationships or friends. It seems to be woven into our humanity; it is part of our human nature. But why Oh why do we carry this longing in our souls? Perhaps it is there to stir us to reach beyond the confines of ourselves for that something in the corner of our lives that we cannot quite see; that something that speaks in a voice less than a whisper and yet somehow more than silence. Perhaps it is there to compel us to delve deeper to the core of our very being. Who knows?

Social loneliness is not difficult to explain. We all need social contact and community to survive and flourish. No man is an island. We often only truly know ourselves through our relationships with others. The reasons for intimate loneliness seem very clear. In creating close bonds with people, we create families and communities. This gives our life meaning. It is this common humanity that binds people together. When it goes, or is absent, we mourn its loss. We crave for it once again. But what about the deeper longing of the spirit? Maybe this is a manifestation of our longing for wholeness. Maybe it’s a need to return home and perhaps it can only be filled by a relationship with the larger presence of life. But how can this be achieved?

Well perhaps the first thing we need to do is face the void and not try to flee from it and or fill it with other things. Perhaps one answer is to embrace solitude. Solitude and loneliness are not the same. One can experience solitude without being lonely and yet we can be miserably lonely and yet be surrounded by people. Solitude is a physical state; where as loneliness is an emotional, psychological and spiritual state. The difference between loneliness and solitude can be monumental and yet subtle. They may look alike, but aren’t experienced alike. It’s like seeing a body as naked, rather than a person being a nude. Naked is stripped and vulnerable, naked is lacking clothes; where as a nude is a beautiful bare body, it is art. Loneliness describes all that is lost, when we are alone; solitude describes all that is gained in all is beauty.

Loneliness can be caused by past hurts that can lead us to try to protect ourselves from life. We have all experienced the pain of betrayal and loss. No one likes being hurt, so we become wary. Because of these hurts we build walls, until finally intimacy loses its attraction. Loneliness is the price of feeling safe from emotional hurt. Of course it fails to even do that. We cannot escape the pain that accompanies the joy of life. All we achieve by trying to protect ourselves from pain is to create the suffering within the suffering. This is a worst kind of pain. I know this pain only too well as I experienced it for much of my life. This is a living hell. I thank God each day that it rarely visits me these days and when it does it no longer lingers.

This Advent, this season of hope and joy I will be thinking of those people in my life who suffer each day with that empty aching loneliness, whatever the cause may be. I will think especially of those suffering from the loss of those most dear to their hearts. I will do so though with the full knowledge that I alone cannot take away their pain. I can though be with them, I can walk side by side with them and even occasionally hold them in their pain.

Hold close to you the one’s that you love...because none of us ever really knows what they’ve got until it’s gone.

The Light of Hope: Which Wolf Wins?

I can only imagine what it must be like to experience utter darkness. I was only a baby during the power cuts of the early 1970’s and therefore have no memory of them. And like most folk of my generation I have seen the images and been told the stories of the war time blackouts, but still I cannot really imagine what it must have been like walking those dark streets. The lights did go out in my home for a short time last year and I have to say I found it very difficult negotiating my way around the house, without anything to guide my way.

It’s pretty scary trying to find your way in the dark. No one likes to feel helpless, hopeless sightless. When we stumble around “in a land of darkness” we cannot protect ourselves and just end up stumbling around our own homes stubbing our toes or falling over furniture. That said it is not only material darkness that can cause us problems, we can also get lost in those metaphorical dark forests of life. This can be terrifying. The book of life is full of stories describing children getting lost in the woods. Those fairy tales explore universal themes that everyone can relate to. After all don't we all feel lost and or confused at times.

When we fall into one of life’s black holes we can lose all hope. In this pit we can begin to compromise the very values that we are trying to live by. In this darkness we can lose our dreams and our goals we can forget the path we are on and why we have chosen it. We can also lose sight of our security and supportive community as we search in the dark unaware of the many pitfalls. Sometimes we drive people away with our fear or perhaps they just walk away because they cannot stand our pain.

Perhaps there is another way; perhaps there is a way out. Even in the deepest darkness light can be found; the light of hope, which can show us a new way. This light cannot be resisted it is constantly revealing itself as life continues its re-birth. Isn't this what the season of Advent is all about, the preparation for the coming of the light.

Children bring that light into so many people’s lives. And of course it is the image of a child on which Advent and Christmas rest. The coming of Immanuel the child sent to rescue the people of Israel from their darkness.

I don’t accept this stories uniqueness; I do not believe that this is once in humanity’s life span thing. Sophia Lyon Fahs is so right when she says “Every Night a Child is Born is a Holy Night.” The potential of every child brings hope; no one can remain completely lost if they can just glimpse this hope. There is that of God in each and every one of us. We all have the potential for great things, if we just nurture that loving compassion within us; we just need a little bit of hope and a sprinkling of faith to show us the way; we just need appropriate nurture. We know this from our own lives and we know it from the lives of those that have walked in the light before us. Even in our darkest hours there is a hidden strength that can be found, often from an unexpected source. All that we have to do is to let that light shine in and through us. Advent is a time of anticipation and as long as we hope, someone will light a candle against the prevailing darkness "and neither the winds of hate nor the gales of evil will extinguish it.” This light is universal and it is eternal.

The light of Universalism continues to speak powerfully to me. The concept of one light and many windows that my great hero Forrest Church spoke so beautifully about, keeps me humble and therefore open. I accept that I will never know the absolute truth about everything or even anything and that this enables me to experience life in a way I could never have imagined. The one light of God or truth is reflected through a variety of windows, which none of us can see directly or perfectly.

Universalism’s message of hope, of the everlasting love of God, also speaks to me. It brings Psalm 139 powerfully to the fore of my thinking, nothing and no one is beyond the reach of this eternal love. The dark and the light are both the same to this eternal love. We cannot escape it completely; we cannot flee from the range and reach of this eternal and universal love.

It is so easy to look at our world and just despair and give in and say we are doomed and lost in our own darkness. It is so easy to see life this way. Is this true though are we lost in despair? Is there no hope?

Tom Owen-Towle’s “The Gospel of Universalism: Hope, Courage and the Love of God” has helped me to understand that hope and despair share the same root, that they are joined together like Siamese twins. In the French language they share the same linguistic root; hope (espair) and despair (desespair).

To live in hope, to live in faith that we all have that light etched into our DNA, is not to deny life’s difficulties and pain. Instead it is to see the realities of who and what we are and what our true potential can be, if we just nurture it correctly. All we have to do is let that light shine that is there within us all. This sounds simple, but it is far from easy. It requires consistent effort to allow that natural compassion to grow, develop and nurture. We have to do it though because otherwise the other parts of ourselves take over and we turn with indifference from life. The opposite of hope is not despair, it is indifference.

I have written many times about the work of Karen Armstrong, the Charter for Compassion and her book “12 Steps to a Compassionate Life”. Her central theme is this concept of nurturing our compassionate natures; that this nurture of compassion is a universal theme central to all the great religious traditions throughout human history. This is a message of hope and it is an eternal and universal theme.

Hope springs eternal all we have to do is to begin to let our little lights shine. Isn't this what Advent is all about, the illumination of hope.

I will end this little chip of a blog with a story I have shared here before. I do love the tale and I believe it is worth repeating.

One winter’s evening whilst gathered round a blazing camp fire, an old Sioux Indian chief told his grandson about the inner struggle that goes on inside people.

“You see” said the old man, “this inner struggle is like two wolves fighting each other. One is evil, full of anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, deceit, false pride, superiority, and ego”.

“The other one,” he continued, poking the fire with a stick so that the fire crackled, sending the flames clawing at the night sky, “is good, full of joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith”.

For a few minutes his grandson pondered his grandfather’s words and then asked, “So which wolf wins, grandfather?”

“Well”, said the wise old chief, his lined face breaking into a wry smile, “The one you feed!”

Who is your Immanuel? Who is your “God is with us"?

Immanuel means "God is with us"

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Who is your Immanuel? Who is your “God is with us”, the one you were promised, the one you have been waiting for?

For the ancient prophet Isaiah, he was a boy soon to be born who would guide the people of Judah back to peace and harmony with God. He would bring hope for victory and greatness in the tribe. He would be a gift from God to his chosen people.

Who is your Immanuel, your “God is with us”?

For Christians, he is Jesus of Nazareth. The baby in the Christmas story who grew to be a remarkable teacher among the Jewish people; whose ideas about love, forgiveness, and justice changed the world forever.

Who is your Immanuel, your “God is with us”?

Perhaps your Immanuel is a political leader, standing for the rights of the oppressed—a Martin Luther King or a Gandhi. Perhaps in their work with people you feel God is with us.

Who is your Immanuel, your “God is with us”?

Perhaps your Immanuel is an artist, bringing transcendence to the human spirit and lifting our hopes and dreams into the light—a J.S. Bach, a Picasso, a William Shakespeare. Perhaps in the presence of great beauty and creativity you feel God is with us.

Who is your Immanuel, your “God is with us”?

Perhaps it is a child. Created from our bodies, the child who is filled with the potential to do every great thing. Your promise from God that the world has hope for justice and beauty. For in the presence of a child we too can feel that God is with us all.

Who is your Immanuel, your “God is with us”?

Slightly adapted from words by Sarah Movius Schurr 

We are about to enter the season of Advent, beginning this Sunday 27th November. It got me thinking about the following words spoken in the 19th century by James Martineau

The incarnation is true not of Christ exclusively but of Man universally and God everlastingly. He bends into the human to dwell there and humanity is the susceptible organ of the divine.

This distinctly Unitarian view of the Incarnation speaks powerfully to me. Unitarians have tended to see Jesus as a man worthy of following, rather than as the unique manifestation of the Divine. Cliff Reed hits the mark perfectly when he states.

While Jesus was, like all people, a unique individual, he was not other than human. He was our brother in every sense, sharing the same human lineage as us. And thus when we speak of him as a child of god, as incarnate divinity, as vessel of god's promise to humankind, we speak of him as embodiment, as symbol of what is true of every human baby.

The ministry of Jesus, and those who have walked the same path, was indeed an enfleshment of creative power, supremely that of love, which can re-make human beings by revealing to them their roots in a divine creation, their reclaimable goodness and wholeness, their oneness with the glorious universe.

Cliff Reed

The classic Unitarian position has always been that Jesus was and still is a man worthy of following but not of worshipping as the one and only incarnation of the Divine.

The theologian John Hick argues that Jesus did not know that he was himself God incarnate; that the idea of the incarnation ought to be seen as a powerful metaphorical image; that Jesus ought to only be viewed as the embodiment of God because God's love was manifested through his life. He was not literally God's son though in the sense that he was not the creation of a miraculous birth fathered by God in the Holy Spirit. He highlights that the phrase "son of God" was a common Hebrew metaphor and was given to those who exhibited Godly attributes on earth. Therefore it is not surprising that someone who was considered as righteous as Jesus would have been given this title, although it was not meant in a literal sense.

According to Hick, metaphorically speaking, Jesus incarnated God in three ways. The first being that he was living out God's will, therefore God was living through him in this world; the second being that by living out God's will he was displaying the perfect example of how a human being ought to live and was therefore incarnating God; thirdly in the way that his life was perfect agape, it was purely self giving love. In other words Jesus' finite life reflected perfectly God's infinite love, but he was not literally God in the flesh.

Experience has revealed to me that all life can be an extension of this Divine Love. More and more I see the incarnation manifested in all existence.

Process theology and the concept of the ‘lure’ of divine love has suggested this idea for quite some time. Jesus is the word made flesh in that within his life the divine action manifested itself completely. Christ is the expression of the word, within him is the genuine union of divine activity and human activity. He did not literally come down from heaven, this is pure metaphor. To quote  Norman Pittenger Jesus, “...was never a god; he was always regarded as the manifestation in act of the one and only God.” This would suggest that what occurred in Jesus could occur in all human life.

The former Dominican priest Matthew Fox appears to develop this idea further in what he describes as the "Cosmic Christ". He claims that through the Cosmic Christ is the “I am” in every creature, therefore that all life can become the incarnation. He believes that the purpose of the incarnation in Jesus is to reveal the immanence of the Cosmic Christ and that as we grow into who we really are and as our compassion is developed the divine “I am” takes flesh once more. As Fox states “We grow into compassion and in doing so the divine “I am” takes on flesh once again. Since god alone is the compassionate One, as we grow into compassion we also grow into our own divinity.”

So we humans and all life are potentially expressions of the divine and if we express that divine quality within ourselves we can then hopefully inspire others to do likewise

In recent years I believe that I have witnessed and dare I say experienced what I call Divine love. I experienced it the first day I walked into Cross Street Chapel Manchester and was greeted by Peter Sampson. I know it sounds like nothing, but it felt very special. I experienced as I connected to that short lunchtime service led by John Midgley. This feeling, dare I say experience, developed over the next few months as I became part of the community there. This grew as I listened and worship and shared and most of all sung. I fell in love with singing once again there. Every time I sing I experience life in a way I don't during anything else that I do. I always liked to sing, but I experience it differently today.

I first knew this magical mystical feeling when I experienced pure human love manifested in a unique life. I experienced it through knowing Claire and Ethan. Ethan, especially Ethan, showed me that loves is real and exists in every human heart. By just being a part of his short life I began to see that I had once been like him. I saw in him what exists in every human child and all life. I began to experience what Matthew Fox has described as the Cosmic Christ. “That that connects all life.”

Reverend David Doel captures what I mean perfectly when he states that, “The Christ Child stands for the Hope of the World and represents the great miracle of human birth. In every child God comes down to earth. In every child the 'promise' of God is repeated. Every mother is Mary the mother of God and every child is nurtured by the Holy Spirit - that mysterious, creative and healing essence we call Life. The Christ Child is the symbol of our human potentiality; like the oak in the acorn."

The tragedy of my life was that I lost sight of this. Somehow, over the years, I became disconnected from life and became addicted to alcohol and fear and virtually lost my humanity. What I was able to finally, see, accept and connect to in my own life was "That Great reality deep down within every man woman and child." That the book Alcoholics Anonymous describes.

I again experienced that incredible manifestation of divine love on the day, the weeks and months that followed November the 2nd 2006, All Souls Day, the day that Ethan was killed. I will never forget the way that people came together within the community to hold the family and I will always remember how the people in my own community held and supported me. Not that what all these wonderful people did for me would have been enough if that Great reality, that I had rediscovered, had not already begun to flower. The old me would not, could not have survived that tragedy.

I am a great believer in miracles I see them all the time in my everyday interactions with everyday people. I have learnt to appreciate and value every interaction and every moment of existence. Every breath is a Divine gift, if I am only able to see it that way. Every single human being has the capacity for great things, if they would only get in touch with that great reality deep down within themselves. That said we are all also capable of great destruction and evil, every single one of us. It is as important that we remember that too.

None of this is cast in stone though; I simply cannot believe that. I am NOT convinced that anything is pre-destined and pre-determined. I believe that life and existence is truly open and that all human beings are responsible for their own lives and this spinning planet that we all share. The very characteristic of the universe is one of process and change and the agent of this has to be free will. The Divine mystery does not control everything instead what it offers us is the persuasive lure of love, if we could only see that.

All we need to do is to tap into that great reality deep down within us as so many wonderful human examples have done over the years. If we can't see this within ourselves then hopefully we can see it within other human lives or nature itself and be inspired by the beauty of creation, always remembering that we are all made of the same stuff.

If life has taught me anything it is that in order to live to our full potential we humans need to be connected to that that is buried deep within us and that that is circling all around us. To live successfully and happily in this world all we have to do is to first of all find and then maintain that connection and to simply live our lives.

We don’t need to build boundaries to survive, I say pull them all down. We don’t need to work and develop our self esteem, because we already have it in bucket loads. We just have to live honestly and truthfully and that natural self esteem that we are made of will just shine out of us. Hopefully by doing so we will shine some light onto the lives of others and they will be inspired to do likewise. If we do human life is bound to improve for all.