How Can the Ends Ever Justify the Means if it Means Selling Your Soul?

A friend recently turned 50. He invited a whole host of folk to join with him to share a Sunday afternoon at a venue in Cheshire. He asked people not to bring gifts but to instead either buy or preferably bake one and bring it along. Sue and myself chatted about this and decided we would bake a cake. We spoke to a friend who had recently brought a “Lemon Drizzle Cake”, his mum had baked, to a social gather, for recipes and he gave us two of Mary Berry’s finest. Now this was a challenge for both of us. Sue said she was no baker and I’ve not baked a cake since I was child in my grandma’s kitchen. We chose the recipe and bought the ingredients and followed the instructions to the letter. There was some temptation to freelance, but I insisted that we follow directions. I reminded Sue of the time in Nazareth when we decided not to follow the Sat Nav and decided to freestyle on instinct. Things did not go well.

Anyhow the cake was a great success. It was consumed very quickly as were all the many cakes that came along with the wonderful barbecue food. In fact the day was such a lovely success that Sue and myself have decided that we will do something similar for our wedding next year. We are not going to ask for presents, instead we will invite guests to bring food along for themselves and others to share and have a kind of “bring and share” meal.

If only life was as simple as cake baking. It isn’t though and actually I am glad of that. Life does not follow a simple pattern and making decisions about what is right and wrong and which way to turn is not always obvious. We are not given a recipe or set of directions at the beginning or at any stage really. That said the journey of life is not about beginning in one place and trying to get to another. The journey of life is a road to nowhere. The destination is the journey itself. And a successful journey is shown in how we travel with ourselves and one another. It is about learning to truly inhabit our lives and the ground at our feet. Its about the experiencing the kin-dom of love in this time and space and giving birth to that kin-dom of love from deep within.

We live in a destination fixated culture. That life is all about getting to some kind of promised land. So much so that we forget that the key is not so much the destination but how we journey, how we live. We miss out on life because we fail to recognize the sacredness of each experience. There are other dangers too. We can be so fixated on the goal that we can lose our integrity and end up justifying all kinds of acts in order to reach our perceived goal. We say “Well the ends justify the means.” I am not sure that this is ever the case. Such thinking has led to all kinds of barbarity as people have been sacrificed to achieve a perceived goal. In modern times that has become known as “collateral damage.” Goal orientated philosophies lead to the failure to recognize the sacredness of all people, all souls and all life. All is sacred, every action and interaction.

“The ends justify the means” is Machiavellian to the core. In fact this ideal can be traced back to the following from Chapter XVIII from “The Prince” by Niccola Machiavelli:

“There is nothing more necessary to appear to have than this last quality (appearing to be religious), inasmuch as men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, because it belongs to everybody to see you, to few to come in touch with you.”

Here Machiavelli is instructing the Prince on how to appear to others for this is the key to achieve what he desires, his personal ends. He told the prince how important it was that he appeared merciful, faithful, humane, upright, and religious. The key was to keep up the appearance even if you are acting contrary to it. This was because, as Machiavelli saw it, most can see what you appear to be, and only a few will get close enough to intimately experience the real truth. The key was to appear as the Prince wished others to see them. It didn’t matter what the truth was only what it appeared to be. For Machiavelli to appear to be doing something is good enough even if “The Prince” has no intention of doing so. Or to put it another way the end result far outweighed how he got there; what road he took; who was sacrificed along the way; and whether our behavior was ethical or not.

If we look at world today and much of human history how often have people been sacrificed, manipulated and used for a perceived greater good? Because, apparently, the end justified the means.

I have found that rarely do the ends justify the means. This is because the means of doing anything are an end in themselves, for I believe that all life matters. Perhaps the means are actually more important than the ends for how we travel is a deeply sacred thing; for how we travel reveals who we are in the world and how we see life and the people we share this world with. How we travel the journey that is life reveals who and what we truly are. It reveals our soul and is an example to others. It matters how we travel because people are paying attention. Also in the end the truth is finally revealed. Rome always burns in the end. Finally, someone sees that the King is in in fact in the all together. That the emperor’s new clothes are not all that they seem to be.

So how should we travel? Well I believe that the key is integrity. To travel with integrity, in the beautiful way, it is the way of the soul, but is not easy. There are many crossroads that we will stumble upon as we walk round and round the circle of life. There will be many temptations to sell our souls so as to reach our perceived goals or to avoid the pain and suffering that accompany the joys of life. We are all tempted to make the “Faustian Bargain” and sell our sells. Faust made his bargain with the devil, promising him his soul in the after life just for the experience here on earth so fulfilling that he would be moved to say “Let this moment linger, it is so good.” This was Faust's Destiny, his fools gold, his emperors new clothes. None of which are real and all reject the true experience of life. The end justifying the means, or so it appeared. For if you lose your soul, you lose the one thing that really means something in life.

The problem with being focused on some outcome in life, in some end that would justify any means, even selling our human souls, our integrity or that of another, is that in so doing we miss the wonder of living fully alive. There is an aliveness in every step of the way, even the painful, if they are experienced with integrity.

You see to live from our unique souls, to live with integrity, is not a place that you can ever arrive at. Integrity is not a state of perfection, of completeness, that you stay in for the rest of your lives. Integrity is about bringing who we are into what we do, its about being who we truly are and sharing it with our world. Integrity is about integrating who we are with what we do. I’m not sure we ever fully achieve this, I certainly haven’t. The real journey of life is an attempt to bridge the gap between the two, between who we are and what we do. Absolute integrity is not a place we ever arrive at completely in life, rather it’s the attempt to live with integrity that brings one fully alive.

Life is a journey and a beautiful one at that. It’s a road to nowhere though. This is why the ends can never justify the means. Why? because the means, the way that we live, is the true end in and of itself. It’s about living with integrity, blessing one another with our presence and inspiring others to live the same way. Or at least to try to. It’s about raising one another up to be the best that we can. It’s about not being afraid to reveal who we are, thus encouraging others to do likewise.

The ends do not justify the means. The means (the way we live) is the real end in and of itself. The means are actually more important than the ends for how we travel is more important than where we are travelling too; for how we travel reveals who we are in the world and how we see life and the people we share this world with. How we travel the journey that is life reveals who and what we truly are. It reveals our soul and is an example to others.

Let people see who you truly are. Live with integrity with love. Integrate your soul and your body. Integrate who you really are, with what you do, how you live, or at least attempt and in so doing you will begin to bring that kin-dom of love alive right here right now.

From Sincerity to Authenticity

“We waste so much energy trying to cover up who we are when beneath every attitude is the want to be loved, and beneath every anger is a wound to be healed and beneath every sadness is the fear that there will not be enough time.

When we hesitate in being direct, we unknowingly slip something on, some added layer of protection that keeps us from feeling the world, and often that thin covering is the beginning of a loneliness which, if not put down, diminishes our chances of joy.

It’s like wearing gloves every time we touch something, and then, forgetting we chose to put them on, we complain that nothing feels quite real. Our challenge each day is not to get dressed to face the world but to unglove ourselves so that the doorknob feels cold and the car handle feels wet and the kiss goodbye feels like the lips of another being, soft and unrepeatable.”

From "The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want By Being Present to the Life You Have"

“Our deepest calling is to grow into our authentic selfhood, whether or not it conforms to some image of who we ought to be. As we do, we will not only find the joy that every human being seeks; we will also find our path of authentic service in the world.”

Parker J Palmer from “Let Your Life Speak”

The greatest danger to living the authentic life, to living with sincerity and integrity is what I think I know; what I think I know about myself, others, life and the spirit that is at the core of all being, that I call God.

With this in mind each morning as I awake, as I begin my morning devotion and open myself in humility, I say a few words of prayer asking that I can lay aside whatever I think I know. I lay myself open to the mystery at the core of life and ask that whatever I believe I know about the four realms of existence does not become a barrier to new experiences. The four realms as I understand them today are of the mind, the body, the heart and the spirit. As a result I am finding new truth being revealed to me constantly; as a result I am finding myself less inhibited by my own self-created fears and the fears created by others that they can attempt to pass on to me.

How many times in life are we held back not only by our own fears, but by taking on board the fears of others.

“Keep it real” it’s a phrase you hear quite a lot these days. It’s about being authentic, living with integrity. Some people go to extremes to prove the realness of who they are. It seems to me that if you feel the need to prove it, then in some sense you are not being real at all, that you are not living with integrity as you feel the need to seek the approval of others.

I remember many years ago the tragic Richey Edwards, second guitarist and lyricist from the Manic Street Preachers, infamously carving the phrase “4 Real” onto his arm in an attempt to prove to “The NME” that they were who they claimed to be. A few years later he disappeared, presumed dead by his own hand. A sad end for such a talented young man.

How many other people have been destroyed by this need to be seen as authentic to others, how many of us have found ourselves standing their naked seduced by the delusion that is “The Emperor’s New Clothes”?

In this age of “Fake News” it is hard to discern what is real. Who and what do we trust? There seems to be little or no sincerity and integrity in life. Dishonesty it seems is not only acceptable, but kind of expected today. This saddens me.

We see this obviously in politics and in the spoken and written news. We also see it very clearly in sport. The Olympic spirit is gone. As money and ratings have become the God that such people worship, the idea of integrity as all but died out. The last Olympics Games was shrouded in questions about drug cheats, no one trusts cyclists. Even in cricket no one trusts the batsmen and fielders any longer. Perhaps the only sport where such integrity exists is in golf where it is still highly regarded.

Does sincerity exist any longer? Is integrity dead?

I recently attended the funeral of my “Auntie Josephine”. Josephine was my dad’s cousin, she had no children of her own. As a result she would take me and my siblings for birthday treats when we were children. Sadly over the last few she has lost who she was through dementia. At her funeral one of the readings was taken from John’s Gospel Ch 14 vv 1 – 7. After the service I was talking with Josephine’s brother my uncle Billy who said about the reading something like “I don’t go for much scripture, but those words speak powerfully to me.” They describe both his and many people’s faith. The service was held in my dad’s side of the family’s church, St Francis of Assisi’s Roman Catholic Church, Morley West Yorkshire. A place I spent many Sunday’s at as a child and one I occasionally attend for family weddings and funerals these days. During the funeral Mass the priest offered communion or to those who are not Catholic a blessing. I went forward for a blessing, as mark of respect to my family and to the occasion even if I do not believe as they do. After the service several friends of the family had also gone forward, but they had offered themselves for communion at which the priest asked them if they were Catholic, they were not they were Anglicans and thus he indicated he could only offer a blessing. They were upset by this and asked me afterwards why it was? Gosh why do I always get these questions, perils of the job I suppose? The truth is that the priest was acting with integrity with regards to his own beliefs. Whether I or others agree with him, is not the real question he was acting with integrity with regards to his own beliefs. I for one respect him for that.

I see faith and life through very different eyes. I am a Universalist in every sense of the word, but I would not expect someone else to subscribe to my truth if they didn’t look at life through the same kaleidoscopic lens.

Whatever we believe about life, ourselves, the world and whatever we believe about what is at the core of it all it is vital that we are sincere about it, whilst also respecting that others will come to various conclusions. It is not enough to simply tolerate that there are different truths, to me that still sounds somewhat judgemental, tolerance is not enough. I for one want to celebrate the difference and to lay myself open to the truths of others. I never want to become a slave to what I think I know.

Sincerity is no easy thing. It is not easy being sincere about who we are, to show the world as we are, to live as we truly are “warts and all and beauty spots too.”

There is a phrase I often here in spiritual communities that irritates me. It is used as an attempt to get people started but to me I find it not only unhelpful but in the long term quite damaging. The phrase goes something like “You’ve got to fake it to make it.” I have found the opposite to be true. In my experience if you attempt to fake it you will never make it. I suspect that the most unspiritual thing a person can be is insincere.

If you attempt to fake it you won't truly make it...just because it rhymes it doesn't make it real...

The key is authenticity, being real, being honest, living by faithful uncertainty...giving it an honesty go.

Now “Sincerity” is a fascinating word and anyone who knows me will know I love etymology. Well there is a disputed theory about the Etymology of the word “Sincere.” One theory suggest that it is rooted in Latin and that it literally meant "without wax"

It is said that during the Renaissance, in Italy, sculptures were in plentiful supply & stones were sold everywhere. It seems that not all stone sellers were honest & some of the stones they sold were imperfect, they had cracks which were filled with wax. They tried to sell these stones as flawless when in fact the cracks were filled in with wax. So an honest stone seller became one who was “sin cere”, without wax who sold his stones revealing the cracks.

For me the spiritual life has to be the same. There are cracks in my belief, but it is honest. Each day I turn in faithful uncertainty and experience toward a life I never dreamed possible. I do so honestly, with integrity in humility which I have found leads to a greater openness.

Is sincerity enough though? John O’Donohue suggests otherwise, he believed that what we really needed was authenricity. That is what it means to be real. To live with our cracks fully exposed and open to life. That it is this that allows us to truly feel life, to live without our gloves on. He stated that:

“Another way to approach this is to look at the huge difference between sincerity and authenticity. Sincerity, while it's lovely, is necessary but insufficient, because you can be sincere with just one zone of your heart awakened. When many zones of the heart are awakened and harmonized we can speak of authenticity, which is a broader and more complex notion. It takes great courage and grace to feel the call to awaken, and it takes greater courage and more grace still to actually submit to the call, to risk yourself into these interior spaces where there is very often little protection. It takes a great person to creatively inhabit her own mind and not turn her mind into a destructive force that can ransack her life.”

It seems to me that live with authenticity is to be truly open in all four aspects of humanity, the four realms of being, mind, body, heart and spirit. I suspect it’s about truly being who you are.

Forrest Church suggested that to “be who you are” is perhaps the hardest task of all. To be who you are is to not "fake your existence." He claimed "each of us is unique, with unique flaws and gifts. The world doesn’t owe us a living; we owe the world a living, our very own." The key is to answer your own calling, going on to say "To envy another’s skills, looks, or gifts rather than embracing your own nature and call is to fail in two respects. In trying unsuccessfully to be who we aren’t, we fail to become who we are."

It seems to me that to live with sincerity, with authenticity is to truly be who you are. Do you know what our world needs us to live authentically; it needs us to be truly who we are, warts and all and beauty spots too. It needs us to be unafraid to revel our cracks, because in so doing we encourage others to be who they are. We need to expose who we truly are to give ourselves fully away to life and thus encourage others to do the same. In so doing we may just begin to create that kin-ship of love right here, right now…

So let’s keep it real, let’s be who we are, let us be unafraid to live the sincere life, to show our cracks, let us live with authenticity…For our world needs us to be...