A Song For Long-Haul People

Last Sunday felt like a bit of a marathon. It was one of those Sunday’s when I led worship at three congregations one after the other. It’s not the first time I’ve done this. I recall one Sunday, during Advent a few years ago, leading at four congregations. I made myself ill, I will never do that again. It would have been an even bigger struggle if it had been this Sunday due to the Manchester Marathon. This always effects both congregations.

Last week was challenging enough. I confessed to Margaret our organist. after the Altrincham service, that I didn’t really feel up to going to Rivington. I am glad that I did though. It was a lovely experience. I just didn’t feel like facing it that day. It had been a long busy week and I was feeling a little tired, perhaps I had hit what marathon runners call “The Wall”. I had had a long distressing phone call with a dear old friend the night before also, which was on my mind too. That said I kept going and thank God I did.

Last Sunday was a very special day in so many ways. Full of wonderful and beautiful surprises. It ended late and was full of meaning and purpose. It had begun with an unexpected encounter with Alan Myerscough and Peter Sampson parked up outside Dunham Road. It was a joy to go for a coffee and chat with them and then for all of us to go our individual ways to do our services at different Unitarian congregations. They had travelled from north Wales that day and Alan was dropping Peter off in Altrincham so he could get the tram to Manchester, while he want off to play the organ and three congregations around Cheshire. There was such joy in that unexpected encounter, it lifted my spirits and filled my heart with love. There are so many little things that lift you up and keep you going when you don’t always feel in the spirit yourself. There is always invisible and visible help available.

On Monday I went to the gym and had a really good session. I felt reenergised. As I was changing afterwards I overheard a conversation between two men. One had obviously run the London Marathon the day before. He described the feeling after he’d finished. He felt like death lying there on “The Mall”, completely broken, almost in tears and then he described this insane idea coming into his mind, “I want to do that again.” I had met up with another friend the evening before who had run the marathon with his dad and his dads running friends, that day. My friend is super fit and his dad has overcome cancer in recent times. The odds were very much against him surviving, but he has. My friend’s dad was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin Lymphoma. He had been one of the first patients to undergo revolutionary CAR T cell therapy treatment at “The Christie” and recovered. I think in their eyes running a marathon together was nothing in comparison to what they have been through. My friend, who although is super fit, is not a runner and he said that when talking with his dad’s friends he realised that he has never met a more obsessive group of people in his life, than marathon runners. The world is full of beautiful lunatics, they add so much to the rich tapestry of life. I am just chuffed to see my friend happy after all the suffering he and the family have been through. Just wonderful that a father and son can run together.

Now as you can guess this all got me thinking about Marathons and marathon runners and the characteristics of such people and if there are lessons here for life in general, particularly the spiritual life. I was thinking particularly about the struggles that we all face, like the battle my friend’s dad has had with cancer. I was thinking of the struggles the world has faced these last eighteen months and as we look forward to what we are being told is going to be a difficult winter. I thought to myself we are in for a long haul, a continuing marathon. Only this week I have heard of people struggling badly with emotional, mental and spiritual health. I was deeply upset when I heard a lovely member of the Dukinfield congregation the other week who had given up on life, she has stopped eating because as she put “Covid had got into her head”. This is someone I have grown to know well over the years. Like I have already mentioned I had a really painful conversation with one my dearest and oldest friends last Saturday, it ended badly as the friend is in a desperate state mentally. Thankfully they are getting help this week. I have heard of others this week too. We have to continue to stick together and help one another keep going to support each other as those people lining the streets of Manchester are doing this Sunday.

It brought to mind the following wisdom which is sometimes attributed to the film maker Michael Moor, but was originally uttered by Amiee Van Ausdall, I beleive

“This morning I have been pondering a nearly forgotten lesson I learned in high school music. Sometimes in band or choir, music requires players or singers to hold a note longer than they actually can hold a note. In those cases, we were taught to mindfully stagger when we took a breath so the sound appeared uninterrupted. Everyone got to breathe, and the music stayed strong and vibrant… So let's remember the advice of music: Take a breath. The rest of the chorus will sing. The rest of the band will play. Rejoin so others can breathe. Together, we can sustain a very long, beautiful song for a very, very long time. You don’t have to do it all, but you must add your voice to the song.”

Life is a marathon it is never a sprint. Anyone can put effort in for a short while, but what is required is sustainability, endurance, “sticktooativeness”. Stress is helpful to the sprinter, but not so helpful to long haulers.

In “The 10-Step Stress Solution: Live More, Relax More, Reenergize” Neil Shah explores how life is like a marathon race requiring a relaxed body with only an occasional sprint. Describing how a sprinter is usually muscular and stocky, highly stressed and that they don’t even need to breath in a race. Stating, “During a race their bodies are usually very tight and tense; their teeth are gritted, their veins are bulging and they have looks of determination on their faces.”

Whereas a marathon runner is lean, have little tension in their bodies, they are relaxed, as they do not wish to waste energy. Breathing is vital to them, stating “Long-distance runners take slow, deep and rhythmical breaths. They breathe deep into their belly, maximizing the amount of oxygen they are inhaling, which in turn keeps them relaxed and helps to fuel their run.”

He suggests that we cannot face life as sprinters. Stating instead that: “Our approach to life should be that of a marathon runner: to develop a sustainable and maintainable pace, and to speed up when faced with a challenge or a stressful situation, always returning to our long-distance pace.” That we need to “develop the stamina and endurance of a long-distance runner and you will ensure that you happily and healthily keep yourself moving through the marathon that is your life."

Now of course seeing life this way can feel like a slog. When I’m at the gym I don’t enjoy cardio but I find myself doing it each day keeping going. Got to look after my heart, for without it I have nothing. It can at times feel “Sysyphean”. “Sysyphean”, literally means extremely difficult to the point of futile. It relates the king of Corinth in Greek mythology “Sisyphus”.

Sometimes by sticking at it, when life is difficult, can feel futile. Like where on a road to nowhere. Like Sisyphus pushing a rock up a hill each day, only to have to face the same rock the next day. The same task must be fulfilled again the next day. It can feel like “Groundhog Day” It doesn’t have to be like this. Before his eternal punishment, Sisyphus loved life and all its possibilities for joy and happiness. He loved life so much he defied the gods by stopping death. When the gods discovered his trickery, they designed the perfect punishment. They gave Sisyphus eternal life, just not one filled joy. This was his punishment, because no one would desire a life comprised solely of pushing a rock up a hill, knowing it will only roll back down again, thus accomplishing nothing in the end, beyond its reaching the top.

Now of course this is a myth. The usual understanding of this story is that Sisyphus’ hell is repeating the futile task. I am not so sure that this true. To me the hell is that he has to face the task alone. This is where the lack of joy comes from, from facing this struggle alone. Hell is the inability to ask for help, whether visible or invisible. Sisyphus is punished for his hubris, his excessive pride, self-confidence and defiance of the gods. It comes from his belief that he can live forever and the fact he must fulfil his task alone. The beauty of life is in the fact that it doesn’t last forever, thus each moment is precious. No two moments are every exactly the same. “No one steps in the same river twice”, because the river is not the same and neither is the person stepping into it. Also, we do not travel alone, we do not get through on our own. We have help available to us. All we have to do is level our pride and let the help, both visible and invisible, be there for each of us. And of course offer our own hand when it is needed. It is not that we complete each others tasks for them. It is that we support, encourage and offer a helping hand along the way.

In many ways vulnerability maybe the secret to “sticktooativeness” to persevering when life is hard. Maybe admitting you’re tired and asking for help is the real strength that gets us through. I saw this again last Sunday, on several occasions, as I have so many times in life. Humility, accepting my humanity, is always the antidote to the dangers of hubris.

I suspect that the dominant myth of Sisyphus, pushing his rock up that endless hill, has done us no favours. We assume that Sisyphus is suffering because his work is endless, when maybe it’s his isolation and lack of a place to rest that is his true torment.

We do not need to persevere alone. We can not only survive but even thrive together, through community. We can endure together by encouraging each other to keep up our spiritual practices, to live by our faith and to remain open to humour beauty, joy, grief, embracing gratitude and forgiveness and practicing self-compassion. Sometimes you just have to stay open, if you do you see incredible beauty, and or bump into friends unexpectedly. Friends on the same or similar marathon.

The people I know and serve offer community, in a variety of ways, something that people are struggling to find or refind at this time. We need love and support in order to keep on turning, to persevere. It is important to remember that we find greater strength, power and sustenance communally. This I have come to believe is the primary purpose of free religious community, some thing that is so important to never forget. This communities that I and my friends Alan and Peter serve are their to sustain those in the wider community to maintain our spiritual perseverance.

We need each other and folk out there need us if we are to persevere against the struggles in life. We also need to be able to be vulnerable enough to admit that we need help as we will all struggle at times. When this happens we need to be willing to ask for that help. There will be times when we will need to let others help us to push our rocks or support us through our struggles. We will need to take time of rest, even ministers. We need this rest, it is necessary, nay vital for us to build the resilience required for the journey ahead.

For all of us there are at times when to simply take the next step, to persevere with whatever our task is, seems to take all the courage we can muster. Past experiences can often stop us dead in our tracks. Fear can block our attempts to step out into the world and back into the adventure of life with all its many challenges. Sometimes it seems too much, sometimes it is. So, we surrender, ask for help and then through faith, hope and love we find the strength to persevere, but to not do so alone. Remember we never sail this ship alone. We are in this one together all the way.

Below is video devotion based on the material in this "Blogspot"

Perseverance: Walking through times of trouble

I drove into Altrincham on Wednesday morning. I set off a little earlier than usual, just as the sun was beginning to rise. I had been awake for a couple of ours, for whatever reason. The sun was just coming up and a warm rain was falling. I was feeling good, despite the many worries and troubles that we are all living with. As I drove towards Altrincham I noticed a beautiful red sky, I remembered the old saying “Red sky at night shepherd’s delight, red sky in morning seaman’s warning” and thought sign of the times. That said it was compellingly beautiful. Then it happened, the sun had risen and I saw it, the most beautiful sunrise rainbow spreading all across the sky. It stretched a broad beaming smile across my face, almost as wide as the arc of the rainbow. What a sight to behold. As I arrived at the chapel I shared about it on social media. What was lovely is that other people witnessed it too. A friend in Stockport posted a picture of it from his tower block in Stockport and another, a friend in Wythenshawe posted a picture of it from his house window. Helen a member at Altrincham, who is on a few days break in Northumberland, said she’s seen one too. Others shared about too. It was a beautiful moment of rainbow connection, lifting our hearts and spirits in these challenging days. I then got on with my day, there is much work to be done.

Summer is over and Autumn is here. The virus and pandemic is not going away and we are having to learn to live with it. This is not easy, having to live with the many restrictions and of course fears for our own health and our loved ones. It is going to be a long winter as we wait for a vaccine and or community immunity. The troubles are not going away, we cannot wish them away and we can’t just wait for arrival at some safe place, somewhere over the rainbow. We have to live and not just grit our teeth and bare this. We have to maintain and sustain our lives and the lives of one another, to endure this difficult time and find new ways perhaps to live. We need to do so as individuals, but individuals who live in community. The idea of looking at the next six months perhaps seems too much and it probably is. We will all struggle at times, we will all feel like we will fall at times, so we need to find ways to help one another through this autumn and no doubt long winter.

No we cannot dream of some imagined place where all our troubles will be over, some heaven, some Nirvana, or Ithaka, some Oz, somewhere over the rainbow. We cannot dream of a Promised Land where all our troubles will be gone. In fact the truth is that even if the virus were to go tomorrow it does not mean that all our troubles in life will be go with it.

So, we are in for a long journey, one that will not be swiftly over. We will need endurance, stready endurance; we will need to persevere, we will need to persevere; we will need to stick to it and stick too it together, if from a social distance. We will need “stick-too-ativeness”. We must not merely grin and bear it though, that would be unsustainable, we need to find ways to live, to find joy in life, we need to find new ways perhaps or to adapt the ways that we already have. By the way have been doing so these last six months. We have stuck at, not merely with grit and determination but also through finding ways to rest and find spiritual renewal. We have asked for help when struggling too, please do not be afraid to cry out, “I am struggling, I’m finding this really hard”, because we have all done so at times, we have all struggled, perhaps particularly these last couple of weeks. None of us have to carry our burdens alone, ok we can’t just hold one another, but we can support one another and we can all help one another to find the practical, emotional, mental and spiritual support that we all need at times.

It is important to remember that we have all been through difficult times, in all of our lives, and we have found ways to stick with it, to persevere and to do so with love and grace and through the journey to be changed for the better and not only for ourselves, but the whole world. So, let’s live in and through and by hope and perseverance through these challenging weeks and months ahead.

Hazrat Inayat Khan said

"All the great persons of the world, whatever had been their mission in life, proved their greatness by this one quality: endurance. The enduring personality is like a ship that can stand storms and winds under all conditions, the ship that saves itself and others. Such blessed personalities, showing the strength of God have been called the saviors of humanity."

We are all the savours of humanity, for we have within each and everyone one of us that same light, let it shine.

How do we endure though, how do we stick too it; how do we persevere? I think it begins by looking around us, looking at our lives and the people we have known. I am sure that we have all known people who have shown an intense commitment to the things that they have done and the lives they have lived. They have been able to do so by sustaining steadfastness even in the face of incredible obstacles and setbacks. I am sure that we can all think of examples in our lives and the lives of others of perseverance.

The word persevere comes from the French word “perseverer and from the Latin “perseverare meaning one who continues steadfastly to the end "one who sees through to the end" and "one who doesn’t yield." These are qualities that all of us need, not just now, but in building a world of love and compassion for all. As Sri Chinmoy has observed: "Patience and perseverance are of supreme importance on any spiritual path."

The problem is of course that fear can blocks in our attempts to stick at it, to persevere. Fear depletes our energy so that we give up on ourselves and perhaps each other. Stress and tiredness, weariness, exhaustion can also bring on these feelings of fear, which is why we need to take good care of our bodily needs in the coming weeks and months as well as our emotional, mental and spiritual ones.

We do not need to persevere alone. We can not only survive but even thrive together, through community, even if we are socially distant. It has been shown that such feelings of endurance can be aided by spiritual practices, religious faith, remaining open to humour beauty, joy, grief, embracing gratitude and forgiveness and practicing self-compassion. Sometimes you just have to stay open, if you do you see incredible beauty, like that sunrise rainbow. We also need community. We need love and support to fully develop our perseverance. This is not easy to do in these times of physical separation, but we are finding new ways to do this. We can’t hold one another and this is hard but we can support one another, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. It is important to remember that we find greater strength, power and sustenance communally, if from an appropriate social distance. This is our first purpose as a free religious community, we must never forget this. This community is here to help us maintain our spiritual perseverance.

We need each other and folk out there need us if we are to persevere against the struggles in life and that we are witnessing in the world at this time. We also need to be able to be vulnerable enough to admit that we need help as we will all struggle at times. When this happens we need to be willing to ask for that help. There will be times when we will need to let others help us to carry our loads or support us through our struggles. We will need to take time of rest, even ministers. We need this rest, it is necessary, nay vital for us to build the resilience required for the journey ahead.

For all of us there are at times when to simply take the next step, to persevere with whatever our burden is seems to take all the courage we can muster. Past experiences can often stop us dead in our tracks. Fear can block our attempts to step out into the world and back into the adventure of life with all its many challenges. Sometimes it seems too much, sometimes it is. So we surrender, ask for help and then through faith, hope and love we find the strength to persevere, but to not do so alone. Remember we never sail this ship alone. We are in this one together all the way.

As I come to a conclusion I would like to share this blessing by John O’Donohue. It is specifically for the traveller, but I believe it applies to all us as we persevere on the daily adventures of our lives.

..A journey can become a sacred thing:
Make sure, before you go,
To take the time
To bless your going forth,
To free your heart of ballast
So that the compass of your soul
Might direct you toward
The territories of spirit
Where you will discover
More of your hidden life,
And the urgencies
That deserve to claim you.

May you travel in an awakened way,
Gathered wisely into your inner ground;
That you may not waste the invitations
Which wait along the way to transform you.

May you travel safely, arrive refreshed,
And live your time away to its fullest;
Return home more enriched, and free
To balance the gift of days which call you.

No one knows what the future holds it truly is unwritten, but we not fear it. All we need is the faith, hope and love to persevere, to keep on going and encourage one another top do the same. We need to do so in courage, to journey on with open hearts, minds spirits and souls.

And if you get to witness a sunrise rainbow, don’t forget to share it with others, because they might just need it too.