Well Actually It Does Matter: Living By Hope

I’m going to begin and I will end with some wisdom from Emily Dickinson. Here’s the opener “If I can stop one heart from breaking|”

"If I can stop one heart from breaking" by Emily Dickinson

If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain;
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain.

Seems like a good starting point for a new year, refusing to live in vain.

So how are you feeling as we enter 2020, do you live with and in hope or perhaps carrying some cynicism into the year ahead. Do you feel fear eating at your belly? How was the last year? No doubt you are experiencing a mixture of emotions, I know I am. I lived through and witnessed some wonderful things last year. If truth be told I experienced some of the most wonderful moments of my life. That said there was also much that distressed me, that broke my heart to some degree; there was much that distressed me both close at hand and in the world in which I live and breath. Life broke my heart many times last year. Did this leave me in a state of despair? No not at all.

Last year I lived in and by hope, I planted many seeds of hope, I did not get caught up in the despair, I did not give in. I even saw some fruits grow from seeds of love planted a long time ago.

I witnessed some further healing in my immediate family, as well as much suffering too. A lovely example of the healing came a week last Saturday when myself, my brother Otis and sister Liz, were together at the old family farm for the first time since 1982. Our auntie Catherine thanked me for making it possible. I thanked her for the acknowledgement and then offered an internal prayer of thanks for continuing to find the courage to do what my conscience and my God told me was right these last 16 years. There was also a lovely moment at my mums later that day when she gave each one of her four children a mug with a picture of us together taken from our Liz’s wedding last September. I know that this wedding and mine and Sue’s wedding, that is coming in the spring time, have been moments of healing and celebration for so many of us. Our Mandy said later that day how she was so looking forward to the wedding, a time of joy and celebration for the family, something we all need, after a few difficult years.

There is much suffering in life, but there is also joy. The seeds we plant today will not all bare fruit, they may not be harvested in our lifetime, but it will matter what we plant and how we care for them heading into this new year.

For it matters, it really does…Everything matters..every feeling, every thought, every word and every action…What we do and what we refuse to do matters, it impacts on life…there is no neutrality in life…

As I look forward to a new year, I also look back. I do have regrets for things I did and perhaps more importantly what I failed to do, when fear got the better of me. Some tell me that I need to let go of this, it’s in the past it is of no use to you. I have never been entirely convinced of this. You see I have learnt that the past isn’t as fixed as we sometimes think it is, it is not completely frozen in time, it’s meaning can and does change as time unfolds, all we have to do is pay attention to it. My life is testimony to this. I have gained and learnt far more from my seeming failures in life than my successes. I have also learnt that when I have found the courage to life faithfully and with integrity, through extremely painful experiences that in the end a far greater good has come. I now have a very different view of these past painful events today, than I did at the time.

This brings to mind the following rather wonderful poem by David Ray, inspired by Robert Frost.

“Thanks, Robert Frost” by David Ray

Do you have hope for the future?
someone asked Robert Frost, toward the end.
Yes, and even for the past, he replied,
that it will turn out to have been all right
for what it was, something we can accept,
mistakes made by the selves we had to be,
not able to be, perhaps, what we wished,
or what looking back half the time it seems
we could so easily have been, or ought…
The future, yes, and even for the past,
that it will become something we can bear.
And I too, and my children, so I hope,
will recall as not too heavy the tug
of those albatrosses I sadly placed
upon their tender necks. Hope for the past,
yes, old Frost, your words provide that courage,
and it brings strange peace that itself passes
into past, easier to bear because
you said it, rather casually, as snow
went on falling in Vermont years ago
I’m with Robert Frost and the wisdom shared in this poem, when he was asked, “Do you have hope for the future? someone asked Robert Frost, toward the end. Yes, and even for the past,”

And I too not only have hope for the future, but I live by it and I even have hope for the past.

I know how much I need to look at my past, at the seeming failures and successes, in order to know in which direction to head in the future and thus truly live alive, in hope. in this present moment, as I stare into the open and blank expanse that is this new year; an open and blank expanse that is waiting for us to live in. I have chosen these last few years to live in Hope and I continue to do so. Not blind optimism but open Hope. I will be exercising my hope muscles these next 12 months, will you come and join with me? It will not be easy, but it will be real.

For as Krista Tippett has said

“Hope, like every virtue, is a choice that becomes a practice that becomes spiritual muscle memory. It’s a renewable resource for moving through life as it is, not as we wish it to be.”

I need others to join with me, for I cannot take this journey alone. For as Edward Everett Hale said

“I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something. And because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.” – Edward Everett Hale

I love this often quoted statement, that is frequently mis-attributed, it dates back to 1902, a far more optimistic time perhaps, before the industrial scale horrors of the twentieth century took hold. I still believe it is relevant though. Sometimes we may feel that we should give up and not do anything, just protect what we’ve got and sink into despair for the world, that no one else cares, but it is important to remember that even the smallest stone can cause a ripple effect, reaching further than we ever anticipated. I have learnt that all big things are made up of lots of little tiny things joined together. I have also learnt that the little thing that we all can do will make a difference to all the other little things that we interact with. A bit like those star fish on the sea that were thrown back, it mattered to them. I am a great believer in the chaos theory of compassion. You never know what your next small act way lead to. Do not be afraid.

Here is the rather beautiful story

“Star Fish Story”

One day a man was walking along the beach when he noticed a boy picking something up and gently throwing it into the ocean. Approaching the boy, he asked, “What are you doing?” The youth replied, “Throwing starfish back into the ocean. The surf is up and the tide is going out. If I don’t throw them back, they’ll die.” “Son,” the man said, “don’t you realize there are miles and miles of beach and hundreds of starfish? You can’t make a difference!”

After listening politely, the boy bent down, picked up another starfish, and threw it back into the surf. Then, smiling at the man, he said…” I made a difference for that one.”

I am still by inclination a universalist, my universalism is fuelled by hope. I both believe in and experience a God of love who accepts all and rejects none; is present in all life and yet is greater than the entirety of it all. I also believe that there are many ways to understand and experience this universal love; it makes no sense to me to think that there can be only one way. This has given me a code of hopefulness that I can live by. It sustains me through the vicissitudes of life. As I observe this world in which we all live and breath and share our being I bear witness to the many horrors that we seem to inflict on one another, I don’t turn away and I do not sink into cynical despair and believe that it is the best that we can do. My universalism has also helped me come to terms with my past and the people I have shared my life with and to act and live in ways that impact in the best ways, I believe are possible. I live by what is possible, I live in and by hope.

Universalism is a hope filled faith, but that does not make it an easy path. It is not about sitting back and waiting to be rescued by the God of love it promotes. Instead it declares that salvation, in this life, can only be achieved by facing up to the suffering present in all our lives and dealing directly with the despair that accompanies it.

Like everyone I feel deep sadness at times when I look at the horrors that we seem to inflict on one another. That said I also live with deep hope that I know can fill the void that we all feel at one time or another.

I am very aware how truly blessed I am.

So I am setting forward in hope once again this year. I’m going to be exercising my hope muscle, really working on it day by day. I may not see the fruits of my labours, the rewards may not be mine to enjoy, at least not alone. I will not count any day or anything lost. I will count all the acts done not only by myself by the countless others that I share this life with.

Nothing is lost, certainly not hope.

Now I’m going to end as promised with a little more Emily Dickinson, this is her classic poem “Hope”

“Hope,” as Emily Dickinson once wrote with characteristic truth,

is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul
And sings the tune without the words
And never stops at all.

...Be that thing with feathers, and never stop singing that song of the soul whether you have the words or not.

This "blogspot" was partially inspired by a recent post by Parker J Palmer. It was he who brought the David ray poem to my attention as well as this wonderful sing by Carrie Newcomer. Have listen by clicking on it.

"Writing a Better Story" by Carrie Newcomer

Have you seen the news today?

There was once a frail old man who lived with his son, his daughter in law and his 4 year old grandson. The son use to get very frustrated with the granddad at meal times because he would often spill his food onto the table and onto the floor. You see the grandfather’s hands shook. He made a right mess, just as his grandson once did. One day the son grew so frustrated that he decided that granddad could no longer eat with the rest of the family and would have to eat alone in another room. The family were then able to enjoy their meals together. The little boy though began to feel very sad. He noticed that there were often tears in his grandfather’s eyes and wanted to do something about it. He loved his granddad and he did not like to see him in pain.

The little boy loved Lego. One day he spent a long time carefully building several identical pieces with his blocks. His parents asked him “What are you building?” to which he replied “I’m making bowls for you and mummy for when I grow up and you get old and you have to sit in the other room at meal times.

His parents were shocked! But they immediately moved granddad back to the table. Interestingly granddad no longer spoiled meal times when his hands shook and he spilled his food. Granddad no longer cried either.

The little boy and sown some seeds of understanding into his parents lives. He brought them good news indeed and perhaps just as importantly they were able to hear what he had to say...they had ears that could listen.

It is easy to think that everything that we say, do and think has little or no meaning. That how we are has no real impact on the world in which we live.

Is this true? Is what we do insignificant?

While we as individuals are not masters of the universe, we are not the Prime Mover, what we do or do not do matters. We each and every one of us leaves an impact of some sort on this world of ours. It matters what we feel, think, say and do or for that matter do not do. A smile to someone passing you in the street may well set off a chain reaction of compassion throughout the world.

It really does matter

I was chatting with friends this morning over coffee. The conversation turned to the news and its impact upon us and how some people we know just will not watch it any longer, for fear of being dragged down into a pit of despair. “All we ever see is bad news”, they say. So the reaction is to turn away in indifference. I’ve done it myself from time to time, especially if I’m feeling a bit blue. You see they don’t seem to ever report the good news.

I have also noticed another response to bad news, people who seem obsessed almost addicted to it. Who put on the rolling news whenever a disaster or something unpleasant has happened in the world. This cannot be good for us and I am sure that it only feeds into the fear and dread we already have about life. It can prove to us that the world is an unsafe place and people are not to be trusted. It feeds those feelings of suspicion that we can all have as we go about our daily business. It leads to us looking at each other with fear in our eyes. When we feel like this we are highly unlikely to smile at the stranger. Quite the opposite I suspect and in fact if they did smile I am sure we would view them with suspicion. I know I have in the past.

A friend said to me, as we were walking back from the coffee shop this morning, that what is needed is some kind of chaos theory of love and compassion; that we need to spread this out into the world. I agree and strongly believe that one smile or act of love from a person in Altrincham can to lead to an avalanche or tidal wave of love in some other part of the world. These weren’t his exact words by the way, but it’s what I heard him say. Wonderful words I thought from someone who use to be the king of cynicism. By the way while he may have been the king, I was once the emperor. He told me that some small gesture I had done a while ago had led him to do something similar and that hopefully that would lead to the other person doing the same. The acts individually were nothing much in particular, but who knows what kind of chain reaction they may eventually lead to.

It seems that everything that we do and everything that we don’t do, does in fact matter. Who knows what chain reactions we are all setting off with every feeling, thought, word and action; by the way who knows what chain reactions we are setting off by our lack feeling, thought, word and action too. Everything we do or don’t do has an impact on the world we live in. No one is truly passive, even if they are doing nothing.

I love these words by Thich Nhat Hanh “The Good News”

They don't publish

the good news.

The good news is published

by us.

We have a special edition every moment,

and we need you to read it.

The good news is that you are alive,

and the linden tree is still there,

standing firm in the harsh Winter.

The good news is that you have wonderful eyes

to touch the blue sky.

The good news is that your child is there before you,

and your arms are available:

hugging is possible.

They only print what is wrong.

Look at each of our special editions.

We always offer the things that are not wrong.

We want you to benefit from them

and help protect them.

The dandelion is there by the sidewalk,

smiling its wondrous smile,

singing the song of eternity.

Listen! You have ears that can hear it.

Bow your head.

Listen to it.

Leave behind the world of sorrow

and preoccupation

and get free.

The latest good news

is that you can do it.

If they won’t print the good news, it’s up to us to spread it.

Of course there are those who do try to spread the good news. I remember as a child that “The News at Ten” use to have an “And Finally” section at the end of its news bulletins. This would tell of a heart warming story. The comedian Russell Howard has a television series titled “Russell Howard’s Good News” this is a satirical look at the week’s events. Each episode ends with a section called “It’s not all doom and gloom”. This also shows a heart warming or courageous clip from the internet.

It’s not all doom and gloom and it’s great to see people like Russell making the effort instead of just descending into the lazy cynicism of so many of today’s comedians. There is sadness in this world, but there is also beauty, love, compassion, courage too. It’s just a shame that most of the modern media no longer believes that this sells. The News of the World may well have gone the way of the Dodo and the dinosaur but what it traded on is still going strong, stronger than ever it would seem.

Perhaps the real problem is that we have become unreceptive to the good news. Maybe we no longer have ears that hear.

In “The Parable of the Sower” Luke 8: vv 4-8 Jesus tells the crowd that the sower threw seeds on the path that were trampled on and eaten by birds; while other seed fell on rocky ground where the roots were weak and therefore the plants withered and died; still others fell on thorn and the thorns grew up and choked the plants; finally some fell on good soil where they thrived and brought forth grain, growing up and increasing...a hundred fold.

The great sages such as Jesus and Buddha spoke in parables in attempts to help people get to the deeper meaning of their message. These stories told the good news. They wanted the ears that heard to wrestle with what was being said and therefore come to a deeper understanding.

I believe that in the “The Parable of the Sower” Jesus his telling his followers that in order to hear the good news you need to become receptive to it.

As I have said many times before I believe that every one of us has the potential for deep compassion as well as the potential for hatred and extreme selfishness. The key is to feed and develop that compassionate aspect of ourselves and then we can indeed impact positively on the world in which we live. I believe that the kingdom of heaven is within all of us, as is hell for that matter and that we can indeed build that kingdom here on earth; or we can build our own living hell here on earth. It really is down to how we all live our lives. “The Parable of the Sower”, programmes like Russell Howard’s, the word’s of Thich Nhat Hanh, little conversations in coffee shops, smiling at the person that you pass on the street, passing on a good turn given to you can indeed lead to some kind of chaos theory of love and compassion.

Start spreading the news, we can change our world today.

Actually forget all that and watch the following clip instead...