The Growing Edge of the Serenity Prayer

A friend posted a “Meme” the other day. It was a cartoon illustration of two characters on the end of the year. One is standing looking anxious and the other on their knees gardening. The character standing asks “Why are you so optimistic about the New Year? What do you think it will bring?” while the kneeling character replies “I think it will bring flowers.” The first character then asks “Yeah? How come?” to which the kneeler replies “Because! I’m planting flowers.”

The kneeling character is planting flowers, an act of faith in action I would say.

Life can feel completely out of control at times. It can feel uncertain, like we are being battered around. We can feel powerless over what might happen. This can cause anxiety and lead us to cling more tightly to things. The truth is we do not know for certain what is coming. If the last two years have taught us anything, then surely this is so. That said there is much we can do; there is much that we have a great big say in. While we are not God’s, we cannot control the spheres, we play a role. By planting our own versions of the cartoon characters flowers, we can be pretty sure that we will bring flowers. The seeds we sow make a whole lot of difference in life. Not only for ourselves but for others too. Never think that you are insignificant, that you do not matter. You do, you really do. Please believe that. While we cannot shape the oceans, we can impact on the little bit of space in which we live and breath and share our being. What we do and what we do not really matters, it really does. So go plant some flowers if flowers are what you want 2022 to bring.

Now as anyone who knows me will testify, I am no gardener. That said I do love a good gardening metaphor; gardening is full of metaphors of the things we must do in order to live well. We must prepare the soil and enrich it; we must plant and tend to the seeds; we must weed out whatever it is that stifles the flowers form growing; to enjoy a rich harvest we must give our whole selves to the process without being sure what will come. We cannot guarantee the weather or other influential conditions, but we must give ourselves wholeheartedly. Not only for ourselves, but for others, for such planting and growing is for others to enjoy also.

Isn’t this life. We do what we can and in so doing we create something. That said sometimes even if we give everything there can be a bad harvest. Does this mean we give up? No of course not. There is such joy in planting and sharing and mostly we create something beautiful and wonderful if we give our whole hearts to our endeavours and do so not only for ourselves alone.

We cannot predict the future, but what we do in the present matters, it really does. It is easy to think that everything that we say, do and think has little or no meaning. That how we are has no real impact on the world in which we live. Is this true? Is what we do insignificant?

It is easy to say that we are powerless, but is that entirely true? While we as individuals are not masters of the universe, we are not the Prime Mover, what we do or do not do matters. We each and every one of us leaves an impact of some sort on this world of ours. It matters what we feel, think, say and do or for that matter do not do. It really does matter what we do and what we do not do. No, we are not the ocean, but we are a part of what makes up the seas.

Yes of course we have to accept reality as it is, but that is not the whole answer. It is just an element in the process. It really depends what we do from there.

This brings to mind that wonderful universal prayer “The Serenity Prayer” of which there are many versions. The following short one is probably the best know “God grant we the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference”

The “Serenity Prayer” is one of the great prayers, simple, practical and beautifully universal. It speaks powerfully to the heart and soul of so many people and has been doing so ever since it was first written by Reinhold Niebhur in the 1930’s. I even got into a conversation about it in a remote village in Transylvania when I went on a trip there a few years, an experience that is etched on my heart and soul and will be forever.

One day I visited a small community, a village called Icland - there is no other settlement in the region whose name ends in land, the story goes that it was originally settled by people from Ireland or England – I walked up the hill towards the parish house and settled into a little schoolroom with a few adults and two teenage girls. For some reason I had images of Thomas Hardy or even Dickens in my mind as I walked up to the house and looked at the village. None of the houses had running water, everyone had a well. The minister led a short religious education class and I was deeply moved by the conversation which she translated for me. It was a conversation about struggles with the current economic climate and the importance of letting go of control and not becoming blocked off from God. The words of the serenity prayer came to my mind as we spoke “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference” – if only we could all find that wisdom to know the difference. I mentioned this and then a few moments later one of the women present produce a copy of the prayer from her purse. We then continued with the conversation which was one of the most beautifully moving and connective ones I have ever had. We spoke deep into one another's hearts. I left these people knowing I will probably never see them again, but also knowing that this conversation would be etched on my soul for a long time to come. During the conversation I had felt the presence of the spirit that I call God powerfully. I can picture the woman Elizabeth in my mind’s eye as she talked openly and eloquently of her struggles with life and faith. I can picture her now.

As “The Serenity Prayer” teaches, the key to life is always finding the wisdom to know the difference; the key is discernment. We need to be able to discern, to sift out, what needs to be let go of what needs to be accepted and what needs to change either internally or externally for this to happen.

I love the serenity prayer for many reasons, but primarily because it is humble, honest and open. It is not a petition demanding that the universe conform to our will, instead it is asking for guidance and strength to do our part and to see what our part is, while also accepting the realities of the world in which we live. Finally, it also points to the fact that we need to discover the wisdom to know what our stuff is, what our stuff is not and what is in our power to change.

It is not a passive prayer about simply accepting the status quo, quite the opposite. I see a lot of faith and works in these words. It is a prayer about seeking out what we can do and doing it. “Why are you so optimistic about the New Year? What do you think it will bring?” “I think it will bring flowers.” “Yeah? How come?” “Because! I’m planting flowers.” If no one plants flowers, there will be no flowers.

Planting those flowers brings some other wisdom to my mind Howard Thurman’s concept of “The Growing Edge” here he describes it:

“The Growing Edge” by Howard Thurman

“Look well to the growing edge. All around us worlds are dying and new worlds are being born; all around us life is dying and life is being born. The fruit ripens on the tree, the roots are silently at work in the darkness of the earth against a time when there shall be new leaves, fresh blossoms, green fruit.

Such is the growing edge. It is the extra breath from the exhausted lung, the one more thing to try when all else has failed, the upward reach of life when weariness closes in upon all endeavor. This is the basis of hope in moments of despair, the incentive to carry on when times are out of joint and men and women have lost their reason, the source of confidence when worlds crash and dreams whiten into ash. Such is the growing edge incarnate. Look well to the growing edge.”

The call to “look well to the growing edge” is the call of courage, of hope, rather than fear and despair, despite the very real troubles present in life. Yes, it does seem, to quote Howard Thurman, that the “times are out of joint and (people) have lost their reason” while “worlds crash and dreams whiten into ash.” That said instead of descending into despair, lets plant some flowers, as a commitment to life and living and in so doing we will “Look well to the growing edge!” This “the basis of hope in moments of despair, the incentive to carry on”. Let’s carry on.

Carrying on is not hopeless idealism by the way; Thurman certainly was not some hopeless idealist. He was a black man born into a culture of white supremacy, just one generation from his grandmother’s experience of enslavement. He knew from experience, real lived experience, that new life is born even in the midst of horror. It is easy, it is lazy, it is cowardly to indulge in cynicism and fatalism and to claim that we are powerless in the midst of life, to give up and not plant flowers. This is not life, if it was nothing would ever have changed. The growing edge is about accepting reality as it is and then doing what you can with you have, it is about planting the seeds of hope.

Yes, we need to accept reality as it is right here, right now. That said we also need to find the courage to plant our flowers, to live on the growing edge, to discover the wisdom to know the difference and to do what is not only in our power, but what is our responsibility to ourselves, humanity, to life.

So, I am going to end this devotion with a question. What is your growing edge? What is it that you want to grow? What is yours to bring to life in this our shared world? What is your responsibility?

Whatever it is will not come to fruition instantly. It is not a sudden quick fix. It will grow slowly, almost imperceptibly, but it will grow all the same. Rather like the plants and flowers grow, that require patient care and attention, but they will only grow if we plant them and do our part in nurturing them.

So you may well ask:

“Why are you so optimistic about the New Year? What do you think it will bring?” “I think it will bring flowers.” “Yeah? How come?” “Because! I’m planting flowers.”

Below is a video devotion based

 on the material in this "blogspot"

Living on the Growing Edge

New Years Eve was a strange one this year. Not very surprising I know. We could not mark and celebrate as we would normally, so we had to adapt. I hosted the “Watch Night Service” as 2020 crossed over into 2021. The service was enjoyed by folk in person and on Zoom. The evening had begun on Zoom with our weekly poetry night “Consolation, Sorrow and Joy” I then kept the Zoom open until midnight. It was perhaps not the smartest move on my part, as I was only wearing a shirt and jacket and it was a cold night sitting for six hours in the chapel. A few people did log on to say hello and have a chat. Sue arrived at about 10.30pm and we enjoyed some lovely food together that she had lovingly prepared. That night as I crossed the threshold, in that inbetween space, that liminal space, I enjoyed my time alone waiting and reflecting on what had been and what was yet to come. I felt like I was on the edge of something, not just time and space but life, it felt like the growing edge of everything, of life.

The time alone in the chapel allowed me to reflect on the year that had passed and the year that we are all stepping into. These will be difficult days ahead for us all and we need to prepare ourselves to live through it. It is no point just clinging on and hoping for the day after Covid, we need to live now and live the best way that we can. Yes of course we need to plan for the future, but we cannot stop living while we do so. We have this time now and we must not stop living. These were the thoughts I was reflecting on as I sat there on the edge of the year, the living edge, the growing edge, wondering what we were all stepping into.

Earlier that evening, during the poetry night, I had decided to break protocol and share a short piece of prose, “The Growing Edge” by Howard Thurman.. Earlier that day I read a beautiful reflection via Facebook on the piece by Parker J Palmer posted for the New Year. Parker J Palmer along with Carrie Newcomer whose poem we read earlier host a wonderful online resource titled “The Growing Edge” which I highly recommend to you all.

The Growing Edge

That evening as I sat alone I could feel “The Growing Edge” was stirring in me. As I sat there that night I thought I might include Howard Thurman’s words in the service. So I printed it and a few other pieces off and had them in reserve along with the script I had prepared. I had a full reading desk that night, they were almost hanging off that ever growing edge.

From about 11.30pm folk began to arrive for the service, Sue greeted them as we followed all the usual Covid secure procedures. There was not the usual number but about a dozen of us joined together on that “Growing Edge” of the old and new year, while others joined us on Zoom. An old friend was present. He was in particular good spirits as his daughter had given birth the day before. I had heard of a couple other new births in the last few days, it has been suggested that they should be called “Lockdown” babies. Who knows, babies are born constantly. It was lovely to see the obvious joy on my fiends face, especially considering the fact that he had only reconciled with his daughter some 18 months earlier after a big family fall out. It was a beautiful reminder that life does go on despite all the real loss that we are all experiencing. Yes, loss by the death of loved ones but also loss of the things we would normally do in our lives. As we live through another necessary lockdown this is something, that we are all experiencing again. We are in the middle of a long, difficult winter. That said life goes on, it will always go on. We are living in and through this it is of no use to anyone to just live for the day when the pandemic will be over, to completely hibernate. We cannot live this way; we have to find ways to live in these times of challenge. Yes, plan for life in the future, but we still must live fully alive in this day, as difficult as it is. Me must of course stay physically distant, as much as possible, but that does not me that we shut down who we are. What is required is adjustment in how we live; what is required is adaptation.

Here are the words I shared, “The Growing Edge” by Howard Thurman

“All around us life is dying and life is being born. The fruit ripens on the tree, the roots are silently at work in the darkness of the earth against a time when there shall be new leaves, fresh blossoms, green fruit. Such is the growing edge!

This is the basis of hope in moments of despair, the incentive to carry on when times are out of joint and dreams whiten into ash. The birth of the child—life’s most dramatic answer to death—this is the growing edge incarnate. Look well to the growing edge!”

That night as I shared the “Watch Night” service I looked into my friend eyes, you could only see his eyes because of the mask. I am noticing peoples eyes more and more these days. As I looked into the joy and deep emotion in his eyes the line from Thurman came to me:  “The birth of a child—life’s most dramatic answer to death—this is the growing edge incarnate.” As I did, I knew then that I had to share the words of Thurman in the service. I certainly needed to remember that in this year that has known so much loss on so many levels, that new life is forever being born again. It is so vital to remember this at this time of lockdown. We need to keep on creating life, I do not mean babies necessarily, but in every area of existence, even in this time when we are restricted by what we can do. We need to create and build not only for the future but in the present too. Yes, we cannot mix physically but we can create ways to help one another and of course ourselves. So, let us look well to the growing edge, for this is life.

By the way, we are always living on “The Growing Edge”, this is the way of life. I had an interesting Zoom conversation with a member of the chapel who is also a regular in the poetry group on New Years Eve. It was suggested that perhaps we should rename it as “Consolation, Sorrow and Joy” seemed a little negative sounding as we have such fun in the group. Certainly, we do, but we do share all kinds of poetry some recognising the sorrows of life, some offering consolation and others uttely joy filled and of course some that are simply chuffing hilarious.  There is a lot of joy shared, even in difficult times. We could change the name and if a better one comes up then I am certainly open to it. Do you have any ideas?

The poetry night speaks so powerfully to me of the “Growing Edge”, for during that time we experience all aspects of it. To quote Parker J Palmer while reflecting on a conversation that he Carrie Newcomer had following the death of a dear friend and the news of another’s pregnancy:

“That afternoon, we talked about the way death and life, grief and joy, dance nonstop with each other around the world, day and night. It might not be a friend who dies; it might be a hope, or a work, or a relationship. It might not be a baby en route to being born; it might be a vision, an opportunity to learn or serve, or a small nudge towards who-knows-what.

To see life steadily and see it whole, we must find ways to hold the paradox of life-in-death and death-in-life. We can’t live lives of meaning and purpose if we succumb to the horrors of “apocalypse now” or fly off into the Aquarian fantasy of a day when “peace will guide the planets and love will steer the stars.””

It is not just at the new year, or in the midst of a pandemic, but all days that we need to look to “The Growing Edge”. It is about living in and through hope. “The Growing Edge” seems like the perfect antidote to fatalism and cynicism, there is much we can do to bring hope, when hope is hard to find.

I wonder what your “Growing Edge” is, I wonder where you find it. Maybe this is the time to discover what can be done and I don’t just mean somewhere over the rainbow, when the pandemic is over, but right now. The seeds can be planted in the here and now, even if it is perhaps difficult to find. It is found only in the muck of life and there is plenty of that around at the moment. We don’t have to wait for the end of the rainbow, for the spring or the summer we can living on the “Growing Edge” now. We have the time as we have to be at home to prepare ourselves to begin planting those seeds, nurturing them, and help them grow. To quote Margaret Atwood “In the spring, at the end of the day, you shall smell like dirt.”. I suspect that if we live on the “Growing Edge”, even in the midst of winter we can live as though it were the spring or summer time. It will not be easy, but it can be done.

Life forever invites us to grow into new challenges, new adventures, new opportunities to learn and to serve. Maybe this is the time to look within ourselves and our world. Maybe we need to begin to live on the growing edge. If we do, we might find that we can help carry ourselves and one another through this difficult winter and as we do so bring new life to fruition.

Yes, we are living with deep restrictions and my word we need to be, for the good of all. That said it does not mean that we must completely hibernate, to stop living. We cannot live for that day, somewhere over the rainbow, after the pandemic, for that is not living and we don’t know when that magical day might come.

So instead let us live on the “Growing Edge”, for this is life. All around us life is dying and life is being born. So, let us live and look to the “Growing Edge”, for this is life and life goes on.