Synchronicity

Whenever we find ourselves at another threshold of life, at one of those transitional moments when we must make a decision, I wonder if we find ourselves desperately searching weighing up all the choices with pure reason, discerning every possibility or do we “feel” our way through it, do we instead allow our gut to discover a sense of rightness. By what are we guided? Do we imagine that the universe, or a divine presence, has guidance to offer us, that we are being called down one path that we are the part of destiny in an ever unfolding universe? Or do we instead believe that we are all quite on our own in an indifferent universe, and that all things in this life unfold by some combination of human action and random chance?

I wonder what we believe. I wonder what you who read this "blogspot" believe...

Do we simply make our own meaning as we journey along making our own self sufficient and self-reliant choices with the consequences that accompany them? Or do we feel led or at least lured on in some way? Not passively of course, but as a part of the unfolding. An understanding that recognises a purpose in our lives within the larger unfolding and with a sense of communication with the Divine reality.

I wonder how we see this? Do we feel alone pushed and pulled by the randomness, just reacting or responding, while accepting responsibility; or do we feel a part of a greater un-folding and guided along.

Personally I have experienced both feelings in my life. I have felt utterly alone and blown about by randomness at stages of my life. Passages when I have longed for, prayed for, begged for guidance from God or from my own deeper wisdom, and was met by deafening silence and a deep sense of being alone with impossible decisions to make. At others I have experienced synchronicities and compelling intuitions that have led to me to believe in an intelligent, responsive and mysterious reality. Times when I have felt drawn along by a seeming great energy in a direction that felt right in every way, an undeniable lure or intuition calling me to do a particular thing. Moments of no doubt when life just opened up in front of me. This did not lead to an abdication of responsibility by the way, quite the opposite in reality. If truth be told it gave me a greater sense of responsibility and of course belonging

Today I see myself, and all creative life, as part the great co-creation. Today I feel at ease with the responsibility for the part I play in life. For me everything matters. Every thought, every feeling, every word and every deed. Everything we do and everything we do not do, matters.

I have felt this powerfully during my ministry amongst the good folk of Altrincham and Urmston. I remember my good friend Derek turning to me, almost randomly just weeks before my ministry training began as we were attending an AA meeting in the school room at the chapel in Altrincham just saying to me, without explanation, that I would be minister here. He then just carried on going on with himself about something else. we spoke about this a couple of years ago and he simply said that the feeling just came to him that day as we walked and talked together.

Now some folk call these moments of intuition synchronicity. Something that I and the congregations I serve have a growing awareness of. So many meaningful coincidences have come to pass these last six or more years.

I have had some powerful personal experiences of synchronicity in recent weeks. I will recount a couple of recent meaningful encounters to illustrate.

I recently began receiving massage therapy. It is benefiting me greatly and I have developed a deeps sense of intuitive connection with my therapist. This is something we have both acknowledge.

Now a few weeks ago I was walking to the supermarket when I had a strong sense of her come into my being. I visualised seeing her but with someone, her boyfriend, in the supermarket and as I approached this sense grew stronger. Well guess what as I waked around the supermarket there she was and with her boyfriend. We said hello and chatted for a few moments. I though felt a little uncomfortable and kind of wanted to get away quickly. What made me feel this way was that I knew him; I knew him from my past many years ago. What was just as peculiar was that in recent weeks I had passed him several times in the street. He has lived in Altrincham for many years and yet I had only begun to notice him in recent weeks. Now when I went for the next massage therapy session we talked about the encounter. I explained that I had sensed I would see her and that she would be with someone and told her that I knew her boyfriend many years ago. I called him by his full name, which apparently no one else does. Now the reason that I knew him was that he used to go out with an very old friend of mine, someone who was an important part of my recovery journey many years ago. Now I didn’t mention my old friend by name, just that we had mutual friends. Well the next time that we met guess what had happened. Both my therapist and her boyfriend bumped into my old friend for the first time in years as they were out and about and they then realised how I knew him and what I had been talking about.

Now there was no more mention of this for a few weeks. As the weeks went by this old friend was floating about in my consciousness. Well last week I took a member of the congregation to visit his mother in St Ann’s hospice and as I was driving there I felt powerfully this sense of my old friend who I had not seen for many years. We went to the hospice and as we were leaving, walking toward the entrance, from the other wing walked a figure I recognised and who looked at me and then came rushing forward. She said “I nearly didn’t recognise you as you look so different, you look so well”. We spoke for a few moments. She told me that she was looking to get married and had been to a wedding at the Unitarian chapel in Macclesfield where I had been student minister. I told her I had this strong sense I would see her that day and she said “oh well it must be fate.” We exchanged details and agreed to meet up to discuss plans for a wedding, as she would love me to conduct the ceremony.

Now what does this all mean? Was it merely coincidence? Was something greater at play? Was it fate? Was it meant to be? For me it was a beautiful example of synchronicity. We will see what grows from it.

According to Phil Cousineau "Synchronicity is an inexplicable and profoundly meaningful coincidence that stirs the soul and offers a glimpse of one's destiny."

Most folk talk of experiencing moments of synchronicity. The anticipation of a phone call from a person just seconds before it rings; the chance meeting with someone from the past who has the answer we have been looking for; that feeling of deep connection with someone when something happens to them although they are physically miles apart, we feel their pain and or joy deeply. It is these feelings, if we pay attention to them, that will call us to engage with life in deeper more meaningful ways. If we do more meaning and intuitive connection emerges.

Mothers often talk about a connection with their children of feeling their pain, even when they are not physically in their company. I’ve heard similar experiences recounted by siblings especially twins. Can these occurrences be rationally explained, it would appear not and yet so many of us recount them.

I have felt this too. It happened to me the moment that Ethan, my friend Claire’s son died. I was sat on the bus travelling to work when suddenly I felt violently sick in my stomach. I had never felt a sensation like it before or since. I discovered sometime later this was the exact moment that the breathing apparatus in the hospital was turned off and Ethan was declared dead. Now you could just say that this was coincidence, but I believe it was due to the connection between us. It is not something I thought much about at the time, but as I have reflected upon it since it has made more sense. Of course many would say I was just feeling ill. My answer to that would be, this was not merely travel sickness it was far more violent. I had a very special connection with Ethan, throughout the few years that he lived. He taught me how to experience the Love I know as God.

The psychologist Carl Jung coined the phrase synchronicity in an attempt to explain what he called "meaningful coincidences ", that occur due to seemingly unrelated events. His concept of synchronicity came about through the many baffling coincidences his patients shared with him in his practice, especially as he began to realize that the occurrences went beyond what could be attributed to mere chance. His interest has also been attributed to a series conversations, over many years, that he had with Albert Einstein.

One example of synchronicity that really intrigued Carl Jung occurred with a patient recounting her dream of a golden scarab beetle. A young woman who Jung had been treating told him of a dream in which she had been given a golden scarab. He was sitting with his back to a closed window while she told him about the dream. Suddenly he heard a gentle tapping and turned to see a flying insect knocking against the window-pane from outside. Jung opened the window and caught the creature in the air as it flew in. The insect closely resembled a golden scarab. It was the one closest related to such a creature in their part of the world. Normally, such insects would not come into a dark room, but at the same moment the patient mentioned the beetle she had been given in her dream, this beetle appeared at Jung’s window. He was quite astonished at the coincidental timing and admitted that nothing like it ever happened to him before or since. This was also a breakthrough moment for the patient who had become bogged down in his attempts to treat her.

Synchronicity suggests that events we experience as human beings are more than mere chance, that there is more going on; that we humans and all of life are connected and at a deeper level than would outwardly appear. Suggesting that who we are, what we think, feel, imagine, react to, are interrelated with the things going on around us in our environment; that at times who and what we are, how we appear to be to others and how, who, and what they are and how they appear to us converge together.

Could this be true?

Well maybe, maybe not...It is for each of us to decide...

All this brought to mind a poem I have recently come across, which to my mind ponders these very questions...The poem is "Love at First Sight" by Wislawa Szymborska

"Love at First Sight" by Wislawa Szymborska

They're both convinced
that a sudden passion joined them.
Such certainty is beautiful,
but uncertainty is more beautiful still.

Since they'd never met before, they're sure
that there'd been nothing between them.
But what's the word from the streets,
staircases, hallways —
perhaps they've passed by each other a
million times?

I want to ask them
if they don't remember —
a moment face to face
in some revolving door?
perhaps a "sorry" muttered in a crowd?
a curt "wrong number" caught in the receiver? —
but I know the answer.
No, they don't remember.
They'd be amazed to hear
that Chance has been toying with them
now for years.

Not quite ready yet
to become their Destiny,
it pushed them close, drove them apart,
it barred their path,
stifling a laugh,
and then leaped aside.

There were signs and signals,
even if they couldn't read them yet.
Perhaps, three years ago
or just last Tuesday
a certain leaf fluttered
from one shoulder to another?
Something was dropped and then picked up.
Who knows, maybe the ball that vanished
into childhood's thicket?

There were doorknobs and doorbells
where one touch had covered another
beforehand.
Suitcases, checked and standing side by side.
One night, perhaps, the same dream,
grown hazy by morning.

Every beginning
is only a sequel, after all,
and the book of events
is always open halfway through.

“Love at first sight” describes two lovers engaged in a display of public affection. I get the impression that the author is convinced that some guiding force is at work in their interaction. What begins as “Chance”, then becomes “Destiny” which “pushed them close, drove them apart”. The poems suggests that these lives were scripted long ago in a “book of events”, which cannot be altered, try as we might. The poem suggests that the lovers have passed by one another many times before. That there were signs along the way and that one day this encounter would happen, but it was more than mere chance, something else was at work offering itself to both of them. It just took this moment for it to happen.

In many ways this is how I see life these days. So many possibilities are going on all around us. Some good, others not so good. So many joys, tragedies, triumphs, failures, frustrations, crises, endless possibilities good and bad. Life offers itself to us, but so often we close ourselves off from it. One thing I have noticed is that as I have allowed life itself to guide me I have become more open, and the more open I have become to life itself, the more connected I felt, the more aware I have become of experiencing meaning and making meaning filled decisions. As I have done so I experienced a greater sense of belonging to myself, those people I share my life with and this world in which we all live and breathe and share our being.

But that’s just me and that’s just where I stand today. I have not always felt this way.

What about you? You who read this "blogspot" What is true to you? Maybe that’s something to ponder...

Think about your own experience of coincidence and ask yourself has this helped you find meaning in life?

Perhaps ask yourselves where do you find meaning in life? And what can you do with this meaning, what can it lead you to do in order to give yourselves more fully to life.

I’m going to end this little chip of  a "blogspot" with the following meditation “We are called” by Natalie Fenimore

We are called.
Called by the wind, the rushing water, the fireflies, the summer sun.

Called by the sidewalk, the playground, the laughing children, the streetlights.
Called by our appetites and gifts – our needs and challenges.

Called by the bottle, the needle, the powder, the pill, the game, the bet, the need, the want, the pain, the cure, the love, the hope, the dream.

Called by the Spirit of Love and Hope, and visions of God’s purpose for our lives.
We are called.

What do we choose? How do we answer?

Let Go(d)

I am told that God is in the wind and in order to experience that power all I need to do is let go. It is interesting to me that “Ruach” one of the Old Testament word’s for God can be translated as “wind”.

I enjoyed a wonderful time with the Urmston folk last weekend, in the sunshine and the wind of Great Hucklow. I felt the force of Ruach pulsing through me at times. I felt it in the countryside as it blew through the branches of the great trees and I saw it in the loving attention and affection that people showed to one another, well most of the time.

I am having to let go at the moment. A relationship, that was very dear to my heart, has recently ended. I am of course sad about this, but am coming to terms with things. I do not let go easily, I am not sure that anyone ever really does. I am though getting much better at it. That said like those old school reports use to say, “could do better!” I do let go though, I have had to learn to. Why? Some may ask. Well to make enough space so that I can actually live the life I have been given.

Perhaps the most important thing that I have had to learn to let go of is the need to control. We all desire control, it’s a natural longing. From birth we begin to attempt to control our bodies, as we learn to use them. If anyone’s spent time with young children, you’ll see how they delight in bossing daft adults like myself around. This battle of control is really what the terrible two’s are all about. I’m sure you’ve all heard the joke. ‘What’s the difference between a two year old and terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist.’

So yes we need to learn to control to a certain degree, the problems start when we begin to try to control others and our environment. I'm not even sure we should even be trying to control our inner environment either, our natural instincts, because when we do we just en-shadow and eventually en-power these natural desires and drives. This can lead to real problems in the long-term. It was certainly the root cause of much of the loneliness that use to plague my life.

I have not been trying to control my feelings these last couple of weeks. I have wanted to, but I have let them work naturally through me. I have not fled myself, nor have I fled life. I have felt low at times and revisited some old fears, but never once have I attempted to run from myself. I have always felt held through this, by trusted loving friends and by the love that I find in all life...that great mystery I know as God.

Every life is a journey, which moves from one stage to another. One of the great stories expresses this wonderfully, “The Jungle Book”. It was my favourite cartoon when I was a kid. I remember, in the days before video and DVD we had a vinyl recording of the sound track which I used to love singing along to. I think there is something of Baloo in me still.  The Jungle Book tells the story of Mowgli, a boy brought up by wolves in the jungles of India. Mowgli loves life in the jungle, but when word gets out that Shere Khan, a menacing man-eating tiger is moving into the neighbourhood, Mowgli’s animal friends realize that he has to leave the jungle for the nearby village and the safety of fellow humans.

Mowgli gets sidetracked by Kaa, a hungry python, Baloo, a fun-loving bear, King Louie, an orang-utan, and four vultures who look and sound like the Beatles. Eventually Mowgli, Baloo and Bagheera, their panther friend, defeat the man-eating tiger and end up at the edge of the jungle on the outskirts of the village. Mowgli is hesitant to leave all he knows and loves in the jungle. But eventually he is persuaded to move on to the village, especially after spotting a beautiful girl who is fetching water by the river. Isn’t it amazing how the promise of something exciting can help us overcome fear?

This story tackles the subject of letting go wonderfully. Mowgli had a great time in the jungle living with animals. But to realize his full potential, he had to live among humans, even though he found it tough and frightening at times.

As we move through our lives - from infancy to childhood to adolescence, adulthood to old age; from primary school to secondary school to higher education to work and then to retirement; from being single to marriage to having children and bringing them up- we let go. Of toys, friends, schoolmates, ideas, girlfriends, boyfriends, beliefs. As we let go we leave behind what holds us back and embrace what can lead us to growth and freedom. Of course we do not let go of everything, we carry much of what we pick up and learn along the way with us, we need it for the journey. If we mature and grow up we let go of what is no longer needed, if we don’t we carry it around with us, being weighed down by it.

I am a fairly new driver and I’m afraid I’m one who does not have great navigational skills. This means that most of the time I get around by Sat Nav. I used Sat Nav to get to Hucklow last Friday. It was a lovely journey, travelling through the quiet roads – most folks were watching the Royal Wedding and all that followed – my Sat Nav got me almost there without any bother. I say almost! As I was arriving at Great Hucklow I misread the directions and missed my turning. So I took the next one, which was a mistake. I ended up going up the wrong path, a broken track not suitable for cars. I thought I was going to break my car. I stayed calm, drove very slowly and came out of the other side unscathed arriving safely at my destination. I sat in the car for a few minutes and quietly prayed to myself. Afterwards I told folk what happened and was able to let go of my silly mistake. I think I may need to update my road maps though, or at least my road map reading sense.

M. Scott Peck in his classic, “The Road Less Travelled.”, talks about how people have to “update their maps.” He believed one’s world view was like a map. When we are young, we have a map of the world. It’s probably not a very accurate one, because we don’t have much experience of life. But as we grow older, have more experiences, learn more things and meet more people, that map has to be upgraded. Has to be updated. It must change to reflect the realities of the world. When we refuse to update our maps, to let go of beliefs, attitudes or ideas that don’t conform to reality, we stagnate, we get left behind, we do not grow up.

I agree with Peck, which leads me to ask the question how do we update our maps and move on? Well I have discovered three keys awareness, understanding and acceptance. These three need to be firmly in place, before we can begin to let go and move forward. We need to be aware of what is holding us back, what is blocking our potential. We need to understand how this is happening and how we are contributing to our own problems. Eventually we discover that this part of our lives no longer serves any purpose, we accept that it is time to face up to the fear of change and move on. Like Mowgli we step out of the jungle out of the wilderness and back onto the right path.

But how do we discover the three keys? There are of course many ways, what works best for me is prayer. Prayer helps me to bring about the awareness, understanding and acceptance that I need to let go and move on. I have become one of life's great prayers. Not bad for someone who use to think the whole thing was just a load of superstitious nonsense. That is one part of my map that I've upgraded, I've let go of the paralysing pure “rational” cynicism that once held me back and weighed me down. That said I don't expect the hand of God to come down and change everything for me. I'm not that self-centred. Prayer for me is about developing awareness and connectedness. Through prayer I connect to that which is greater than me and find the courage to do what is necessary to let go of what is holding me back and move on.

You might ask what I am praying to; well I can't really describe it. I have heard it called the "Great Mystery" and that seems to make some sense. That said I don't think I need to be praying to anyone or anything, in order to connect to that which is within ever fibre of my being and yet beyond all material existence. I've just found that through the practice of prayer I have connected more and more to the mystery of the universe. As a result I've begun to have faith in life itself and begun to trust myself. This has allowed me to keep moving on and letting go of that which serves no purpose.  Prayer gives me the courage to throw myself into the wind and risk what happens. It allows me to throw caution to the wind, something I can’t control by the way. Prayer also allows me to set my sails accordingly, something I do have control of or at least I do if I have awareness. It is a journey though and I've got a long way to go.

Letting go is about our daily lives. Every single one of us has something that is holding us back. It might be a false idea or attitude about life, it might be an addiction, it might be someone, or something.  I have discovered that it is only through self awareness and awareness of that that is greater than self that can give me the answers I seek.

“...I can feel it in the wind, I can feel it in the rain, I can feel it in the face of the storm..."