May Our Lives Be Inspired By Beautiful Encounters

Life is full of encounters, opportunities and interactions; there are many opportunities that could lead us in all kinds of directions; we never know when we set out each day what the opportunities we face may just lead too.

A week last Wednesday I heard and witnessed a rather beautiful encounter. Whenever I lead worship, or one of the several groups I host, I always promote them on social media, it is an attempt to open our free religious tradition to others. I promoted the service I was doing at Cross Street Chapel and David a friend told me that he had a day off work and was interested in the title of the service. I was pleased to hear this. He has in the past responded to some of my blog posts but never attended an event or service.

I got to the chapel early and he arrived as others did about 15 minutes before the service began. We said hello and he sat quietly in the chapel. A few minutes before he had a woman who is a member of the chapel had also arrived, she did not take her seat immediately. A few minutes later she did and appeared to sit near my friend. I noticed that they began to talk and thought well that’s a good sign someone is making him feel welcome. I had no idea what was going on. I walked into the chapel and soon discovered what was happening, they were both beaming at each other. No it wasn’t the beginning of a new romance, although it seems that they had both experienced a brief encounter.

They had never met before that day but had actually, without realising it, on their way to the chapel. They had both come by tram. David lived further out and told me he had missed the tram he had intended and was worried he might be late. A few stops later this smiling lady got and sat next to him. They did not speak to each other but felt comfortable in each others silent company. The woman got off a stop before David in Manchester and he told me later that just before she did that he had this feeling that they were both going to the same place. He had no idea where it came from and wished he had said something then.

David got off the tram the stop after the woman and then followed directions on google maps to the chapel, he walked in , sat down and waited and then the woman entered the chapel sat down near him. He said hello. Low and behold it was that very same lovely smiling woman who had sat next to him on the tram. It blew his mind and it made his day as it did mind. Afterwards we talked and he told me that he had connected with the service and the whole day, one of a great many surprises and seeming coincidences. Sometimes life is like that, don’t you find, especially when you are tuned into the right frequency and not lost in your own little ego-centric world.

I wonder how often in life such seeming coincidences occur, how many opportunities or chance encounters come our way, how many doors open that could lead to something incredible and new. I wonder if these opportunities come just once or do that keep on coming again and again in one form or another. I’m not sure if I am honest, although I do know that when I’m truly tuned in they do seem to occur far more often than when I m not. I wonder how many times we have that feeling that David had on the tram and ignore it, rationalise it out and turn away from it, only to find the universe present it to me once again. Or perhaps it’s all just random chance, just chaos bumping into each other. Who knows for certain? Certainly not I.

We all wander through life, primarily living by the same daily, perhaps weekly patterns. The seasons change but we live by a similar pattern and rhythm and yet as we do so life changes, we change, others change and we have these interesting interactions from time to time. I wonder sometimes if such encounters, however brief, are constantly available to us. How many people do we pass in life and never speak or truly interact with and yet we never know what the interaction might lead to.

This brings to mind the the rather wonderful poem below by Wislawa Szyborska

"Love at First Sight" by Wislawa Szymborska's

They're both convinced
that a sudden passion joined them.
Such certainty is beautiful,
but uncertainty is more beautiful still.

Since they'd never met before, they're sure
that there'd been nothing between them.
But what's the word from the streets,
staircases, hallways —
perhaps they've passed by each other a
million times?

I want to ask them
if they don't remember —
a moment face to face
in some revolving door?
perhaps a "sorry" muttered in a crowd?
a curt "wrong number" caught in the receiver? —
but I know the answer.
No, they don't remember.
They'd be amazed to hear
that Chance has been toying with them
now for years.

Not quite ready yet
to become their Destiny,
it pushed them close, drove them apart,
it barred their path,
stifling a laugh,
and then leaped aside.

There were signs and signals,
even if they couldn't read them yet.
Perhaps, three years ago
or just last Tuesday
a certain leaf fluttered
from one shoulder to another?
Something was dropped and then picked up.
Who knows, maybe the ball that vanished
into childhood's thicket?

There were doorknobs and doorbells
where one touch had covered another
beforehand.
Suitcases, checked and standing side by side.
One night, perhaps, the same dream,
grown hazy by morning.

Every beginning
is only a sequel, after all,
and the book of events
is always open halfway through.

This beautiful poem “Love at first sight”, by Wislawa Szymborska, describes two lovers engaged in a display of public affection. I get the impression that the author is convinced that some guiding force is at work in their interaction. What begins as “Chance”, then becomes “Destiny” which “pushed them close, drove them apart”. The poems suggests that these lives were scripted long ago in a “book of events”, which cannot be altered, try as we might. The poem suggests that the lovers have passed by one another many times before, but were never aware or ready to make that first point of contact. That there were signs along the way and that one day this encounter would happen, but it was more than mere chance, something else was at work offering itself to both of them. It just took this moment for it to happen.

In many ways this is how I see life these days. So many possibilities are going on all around us. Some good, others not so good. So many joys, tragedies, triumphs, failures, frustrations, crises, endless possibilities good and bad. Life offers itself to us, but so often we close ourselves off from it. One thing I have noticed is that as I have allowed life itself to guide me I have become more open I am to life itself and the more connected I felt, the more aware I have become of experiencing meaning and making meaning filled decisions. As I have done so I experienced a greater sense of belonging to myself, those people I share my life with and this world in which we all live and breathe and share our being.

The more I have lived this way the more I have noticed the meaningful coincidences in life. Some say this is how it is meant to be, I am not wholly convinced of this, I prefer to see it as this how it could be if I allow myself to follow the rhythm of life. If I do I notice the so called coincidences, the synchronicities of life.

I accepted one of those opportunities two years almost to the day when after a “Singing Meditation” Sue asked me if I would like to go for food after something we were both attending, I said yes and look what followed. I wonder what would have happened if I had not. One of the “Sliding Doors” moments. In our two years together one thing that we have said we will do is say yes to life when it offers itself to us. We have mostly stuck to this and when we have done so it has always turned out right. The classic example being the trip magical trip to Israel that I was invited on.

I do believe that life speaks to us, if we are in tune enough to hear it, it speaks in so many ways too. I believe it spoke to David quite a lot that day. Some say it is the hand of God directing everything, others say it is just pure chance and others call it synchronicity. I am one of those who call it synchronicity. I also refer to it as the “Lure of Divine Love”.

Personally I do not hold with the view of a God who controls all our interaction,that life is preordained if you like. Neither do I hold a deistic understanding that a Creator started the processes of life but then left life to get on with it. Nor am I an atheist or even agnostic, I sense that there is a Divine presence in life. I have come to believe in the Divine Lure of Love. That the Divine lures life on, that we are co-creators, with all of life in a universal process. I sense this divine presence within me and I experience it in life itself, particularly in creativity or in deeply felt interactions. I have discovered that when I am awake to such things in life I experience synchronicity constantly. Life seems to direct me, when I am awake to it

That said intuition alone is not enough, discernment is vital in order to make wise decisions about life.

The word discernment is formed from the Latin word “discernere”, which means to separate, to distinguish, to sort out. Just think of prospectors panning for gold or sifting through the rocks and dirt in search of gem stones. They are separating, they are sorting through the muck for the jewels, they are distinguishing, they are discerning.

Discernment is the key to making wise decisions about our lives, about what our senses are saying to us. We need to discover what is of value and what needs to be discarded as our minds interpret our senses. We need to discard the dirt and muck to uncover the gold, the gems, to have clarity of thought, so that we can truly follow that Divine spark within each of us. This is not easy, especially when we think of all that information that swims around in our lives and are consciousness; information like an enormous shoal of fish swimming round and round aimlessly in a small tank and not really going anywhere. Our lives, our heads are just so full of stuff, our senses are constantly overloaded. How do we discern what is the right response? Well we need silence; we need time away from all this information and all these things that pull us in so many directions. We need to still our senses from time to time and thus tune into the source of all life. We need time to be still, time to be silent, time to connect to our bodies and our breathing; time to hear that still small voice of calm. A voice less than a whisper, but somehow more than silence.

We need to awaken to our true consciousness in order to make those sane and sensible decisions about life. We need to learn to separate those things that are of value and those that are not. We need to do this in order to hear that voice, that is less than whisper but that is somehow more than silence; that voice that has spoken down the centuries, to those who had ears that could hear it.

That voice that spoke to David on the tram and then again a little later as he sat down in Cross street chapel and share worship with a room full of strangers or if you prefer friends he had not yes met.

The choices we make matter. It matters what we are and what we do. I do not think that God chooses this for us. Yes God offers guidance, “The Lure of Divine Love” but it is up to us to choose the path that we follow.

So pay attention my friends. Take time to tune into your deeper selves and the deeper pulse of life, pay attention, trust your own heart but please discern, make wise choices about what life offers to do, for what you do and do not do really matters…

May you have interesting and beautiful encounters and may you trust them enough that you allow them to lead you to ever more beautiful lives.

Friendships and Relationships: Conversations of a Kind

I was invited to lead worship back at Cross Street Chapel this week. The minister is on Sabbatical and I had agreed to cover the Wednesday lunchtime service there. It took me back to a cold January lunchtime back in 2005 when I first walked through the door of the chapel. I was greeted by Peter Sampson, at the door, it was lovely to see him there again.There were only a couple of people present who would also have been there back then. so much has changed since and yet this place has remained the same, a spiritual oasis in the heart of the busy city of Manchester, a beacon of free and inquiring religion. Back then John Midgley's service spoke to my heart and soul and I began a new relationship with a tradition I felt I could belong within. A conversation began that day as I listened. The conversation has a continued as the relationship has developed.

I had come to the Unitarians, as I had other traditions, seeking answers to many questions I had begun to experience a spiritual awakening in the proceeding months. The questions have not been answered but my relationship with the Great Mystery has continued and the conversation has developed. I found a home amongst these seekers.

I listened to much, I have shared quite a lot, I have sat in silence, I have sung songs, I have laughed and I have wept. I have grown spiritually.

I have come to understand that at its core the spiritual life is about relationships; relationships with life, with each other, with ourselves and with God, whatever we understand God to be. And how do relationships develop? Well through conversation, through sharing ourselves with each other, not by losing ourselves, but becoming ourselves through our conversations with the other, lower and upper case. We relate through conversation and thus we grow spiritually, through relationship.

Now there are of course many ways to relate, to converse. It is not just through the spoken word. There is a wonderful song in the latest New Model Army album “From Here” it is titled “Conversation” it is a song about a need to connect when lost in a desperate situation. The essence of the song is this desire to connect to make conversation of any kind. The last few lines of the song follow:

And though nothing much is said
It’s a conversation of a kind
You take any companion you can find

All those flickering lights across the town
Crackling connections and animals running
There are ghosts everywhere and the night watching

Call me any time, call me any time
And though nothing much will be said
It will be a conversation of a kind
Call me any time, call me any time

If you click on this link you can hear the song

Conversation

By the way I saw New Model army in Manchester last night. They were immense. We have been sharing an amazing conversation for decades now. It was wonderful that Sue could come along with me and join in the conversation too. I bumped into an old friend too, I knew I would.

I am sure that all of us, at one time or another, have felt a desperate sense of disconnection when we would give anything to connect to a conversation of some kind, to begin to relate once again.

In “The Art of Conversation: A Guided Tour of a Neglected Pleasure” Catherine Blyth suggests that:

"When it works, conversation can come close to heaven. Be it sharing a laugh with a stranger, transforming a contact into a friend; that joyful moment when you click, share a joke, or spark a new idea; or just letting off steam with someone who knows how to listen — there are countless adventures between minds out there, waiting to happen, in each encounter, each day of our lives.

"Networking is part of conversation's value, although the word sounds chilly and strategic. Conversation is something bigger: It is the spontaneous business of making connections, whether for work, friendship, or pure, fleeting pleasure.

She suggests that conversation is more than words, it is music: "Its harmony, rhythm, and flow transcend communication, flexing mind and heart, tuning us for companionship."

Conversations whether spoken or not, build and deepen relationship.

Losing connection and thus feeling like you can’t converse any longer can be deeply disconcerting. Something we are not use to in this age, but it can and does happen. We were recently without internet connection due to problems in the area, it is amazing how quickly it affected us, it certainly interfered with my work and Sue’s too, as well as her daughter’s social life. We all felt a little cut off from our usual connections.

If you ever want to witness someone experiencing an existential crisis just observe them when their battery has gone on their Smart or I Phone, or if they can’t get wi-fi access. It is like watching someone who has crossed into the realm of non-existence. As they lose their connections they feel that they can no longer relate to life. It seems that we desperately need to be engaged in this seemingly artificial conversation all the time, or somehow we feel lost and alone.

It would appear that Wi-Fi connection is one of the most valuable commodities we can possess. I suspect that this desire symbolizes something deeper. We have confused connection, conversation, spiritual intimacy with technological connectedness. Today we have so many ways to keep in touch with each other, to communicate and yet I wonder if these conversations actually lead to the connections that we so deeply crave. So many of us describe feeling lonely, so deeply lonely. There is this craving for connection, for community, for spiritual intimacy.

Perhaps instead of better Wi-Fi what we ought to be seeking is deep conversation and true relationship with each other, with life, with our true selves and with our God. Communicating through a small screen is nothing in comparison to looking deeply into the eyes of another and communicating soul to soul. Sometimes nothing needs to be actually said for it to be a conversation of a deep kind. All it requires is presence, being with each other.

One of my favourite things in the world is to sit silently with others. There is something more in it than sitting silently alone. Yes it is silence, but it is a conversation of a kind; between our hearts and souls and the greater soul of life.

Relationships with each other are vital. Some of the most important ones come through friendships. Friendship allow a deeper spiritual intimacy and they develop a deeper conversation over time.

I get married this March and it has been a struggle whittling down who Sue, my fiancé, and myself would be inviting. There are many people we would like to invite but the chapel just won’t hold them all. It has caused both of us some pain and guilt as we have been unable to invite many folk, I hope that it doesn’t spoil connection and further conversation. I trust that those who we cannot invite will be friends enough to forgive us, I certainly do not want to end the conversation or lose the connection.

This brings to mind some wisdom from David Whyte, on friendship.

“FRIENDSHIP is a mirror to presence and a testament to forgiveness. Friendship not only helps us see ourselves through another’s eyes, but can be sustained over the years only with someone who has repeatedly forgiven us for our trespasses as we must find it in ourselves to forgive them in turn. A friend knows our difficulties and shadows and remains in sight, a companion to our vulnerabilities more than our triumphs, when we are under the strange illusion we do not need them. An undercurrent of real friendship is a blessing exactly because its elemental form is rediscovered again and again through understanding and mercy. All friendships of any length are based on a continued, mutual forgiveness. Without tolerance and mercy all friendships die.”

Friendship’s allow a deeper intimacy in life, they are vital to it. Such deep intimacy and true face to face friendships are as important to young people today as they have always been. They may appear that they are lost in the artificial, but they are not. People are the same as they have always been. I suspect that such friends are the first deep intimacies that any of us experience as we get to know ourselves through relationship with others. They allow us to find ourselves in life and thus connect to that which as the core of life. Perhaps the ultimate of all friendships and intimacies is the relationship we enjoy with our God.

A friend is someone you can trust, you can rely upon, someone who will be there for you, and certainly my friends have always been there for me. We have laughed and we have cried together. We have enjoyed some wild and crazy times together and we have grieved as we have lost one of our number. I have lost a lot of friends over the years, far too many. I will be thinking of those friends and family on our wedding day.

If life has taught me anything it is that it is all about relationships, everything that really matters is about relationships. The key to all relationships is conversation, of some kind, its about being with each other in spiritually intimate ways and forming friendships of some kind.

Life is all about relationships; the spiritual life is all about relationships. Relationships with life, with each other, with ourselves and with God, whatever we understand God to be. And how do relationships develop? Well through conversation, through sharing ourselves with each other, not by losing ourselves, but becoming ourselves through our conversations with the other, lower and upper case. We relate through conversation and thus we grow spiritually, through relationship.

Nothing much needs to be said, to form a conversation of some kind. A relationship can be formed in any situation and circumstance all you have to do is be open to it.

Call me any time…

Love and Service

Last Sunday afternoon I attended the memorial service of Rev Jane Barraclough at Cross Street chapel, Manchester. Jane was both a colleague and a personal friend of mine. Many things were said of Jane during the service but what stood out for me above everything else was one comment made by the chair of Portico library. She said "that Jane believed in God and believed in humanity" and that it was these two things that informed who she was as a minister and person. When I look at all that she was and how she ministered I can see the absolute truth in this. Now although I did not always come to the same conclusions as Jane, do any of us ever do this? My faith too rests on these two same things. I believe in God and I believe in humanity. I haven’t always, I have lost faith in both at times, for long periods of my life, if truth be told I often find today that when I begin to lose faith in either I begin to lose faith in the other.

When I look at Jane as a minister I see clearly that she lived by these two principles of faith, I wonder sometimes if I do…I wonder sometimes if I do…I wonder sometimes if my works, live up to my professed faith. Generally they do, my deeds profess my belief in a loving God and in this love being present in humanity, including little old me. That said from time to time that faith can waver.

Last Monday I attended the funeral service of Eila Forrester at King Edward Street Unitarian Chapel, Macclesfield. I had got to know Eila during my time as a student on placement there. We had many wonderful conversations in which she passed on much of her knowledge to me. I remember when I qualified back on 2010 Eila asked me “Now I hope you have remembered everything I have taught you” I remember I smiled at the time. I smiled during the service as this memory came back to me.

It was a beautifully moving service in which many people reflected on Eila’s life and the contribution she had made to the Unitarian tradition over her life time. Of all the things that were said what stood out for me was that she always emphasised the primacy of worship. That worship is and must always remain central to everything that Unitarians do. That without it we could not describe ourselves as religious denomination in any way or sense. As I sat there and listened to many people speak of this remarkable and loving small framed but big hearted, highly educated and thoughtful woman it helped me to once again see clearly what I believe faith is about.

Now please do not misunderstand Eila was not suggesting that we my chosen faith is merely about worship and not about the wider the world. Quite the opposite actually. I know that she believed that it is through worship and taking care of our individual as well as corporate spiritual needs that we are then better able to carry out this faith in this beautiful world of ours.

These thoughts brought me back to the anniversary service led by Rev David Usher at our denomination's annual general meetings. It was a beautiful and moving service that certainly spoke to my spirit. He spoke of many things but one aspect that really stood out for me was a reference he made to words written at the entrance of Richmond Unitarian Church. The plaque there reads “Dedicated to the worship of God and the service of man”. The point he was trying to make was that at times we have lost sight of this aspect of tradition in our wish to just say to people you can believe what you like without any commitment to wider humanity. David was not saying that we all have be theists, more that our faith ought to inform how we live in the world. That as a denomination we have a duty to the wider world. That our spirituality is not just about serving ourselves that it ought to show in our deeds. Or to put it another way "Faith without works is dead."

“Faith without works is dead” These words from the book of James chapter 2 vv 14-20 have for many years struck me powerfully. I wonder how many times I have professed belief or even disbelief in something, but my actions have shown otherwise; while today I profess a belief in God and humanity sometime my actions prove otherwise. I fall short every day.

This brings to mind a story that has stayed with me since childhood. As a small boy I had a fascination with tight rope walkers and other daredevils. I think this might stem from the fact that I was utterly useless at such things and would marvel at the ability of others. I loved Evel Knievel and remember clearly watching “Trapeze” starring Burt Lancaster and being entranced by it. Oh how I wish I could have been a daredevil, but my body always lacked the co-ordination and balance.

I also clearly remember a school assembly when I was only about 9 or 10, it was based around “faith and works”, it’s amazing how many of these stories have stayed with me more than 30 years later.

In it the teacher told the story of Charles Blondin who had been invited to travel all the way from his native France to the Niagra Falls and attempt to walk across on a tightrope. The tightrope stretched over a quarter of a mile. People came from all over North America to see this feat. It was no great obstacle to Blondin who walked across several times, each attempt was more daring than the last, as the ever growing crowd oohed and aarh’d. On one occasion he carried a sack of potatoes, on another he crossed on stilts, on another he rode a bicycle and on another crossed blindfolded. On one occasion he even carried a small stove and cooked an omelette when he arrived at the middle.

On one occasion, while pushing a wheelbarrow across, he stopped and addressed the cheering audience and asked them “Do you believe I can carry a person across in this wheelbarrow”

To which the crowd enthusiastically yelled back “Yes! We believe in you Blondin, you are the greatest!”

To which Blondin replied “Okay, so who wants to get in the wheelbarrow?”

It seems that no one did, well no one except his manager, who he successfully carried across.

So it seems that despite what they claimed the crowd who had observed his many feats did not truly believe in Blondin, only his manager did. The crowd professed their belief, but he showed it with his actions.

Whatever it is that we claim to believe in, or not believe in for that matter it can only be proved by our actions.

What exactly is meant by works? Well I have sometimes heard it described as service. But what exactly is service? Well it can mean many things. I have come to believe that worship itself is a form of service. I do afterall call what I lead on a Sunday morning a service of worship. When people congregate together as a worshipping community they are doing so in service; service to themselves, to one another, to God and to humanity.

Worship is central to any spiritual community, but its purpose is to impact on the lives of those participating in it so that they can impact positively on the lives of those in the wider world. While we may not be able to change the whole world we can affect it in small and I believe positive ways. I strongly believe by being all that we can be in the world we do indeed change our world while not at the same time destroying it by imposing our wants and needs on it. By doing so we grow in spirit ourselves and we pave the way for others to do the same.

In classic Christian theology one sign that salvation had been attained was that it showed in your service to others. This I believe is the point that James was making.

What do our actions say about us? Do we show love for God and humanity in the way we live our lives?

Sometimes I fall short...

In Sanskrit the word for selfless service or work performed without thought of reward was “Seva” In ancient India it was believed that it aided an individual’s spiritual growth and at the same time contributed to the improvement of the whole community. Seva is the art of giving without expecting to receive individually, as all benefit from it. Seva is the art of blessed action.

Seva is about saying yes to life. It is about seeing how small acts can and do change our world and that this begins in our own hearts and minds, it is this that feeds our very actions. It is about recognising how we are all interconnected, all one. That what we do and do not do matters and affects all. By helping ourselves and or another all are aided and improved. Life has revealed to me that even a simple act of worship can affect our world in small ways, if it engaged in with openness and love.

Last Sunday and Monday I both worshipped and remembered as I listened to people speak of the lives of two Unitarians who lived their faith; their faith showed in their actions in their service for their wider human community. I feel that as a result my own faith has been enhanced, faith in God and faith in humanity. I see more clearly that this tradition I am a part of is a simple faith based on love and service and not just freedom to believe as our conscious dictates. That I am a part of a bound community held together by shared values. A community that is here to be of service to one another and to our wider world. and this service begins in time together, in sacred space and at our sacred times as we worship together.

These last few days have shown me more clearly the simplicity of my chosen faith, its about the Love of God and the service of humanity. I hope I can show this clearly in my deeds and that I can better live my belief in God and my belief in humanity.

Holocaust Remembrance Day & some thoughts on mystery of humanity

Today 27^th January is International Holocaust Remembrance Day. It marks what can only be described as the most horrific period in human history. Not that the atrocities committed by the Nazi regime are unique. Sadly we can find examples of attempted genocide throughout human history.

January 27^th is marked as Holocaust Remembrance Day because it was on this day in 1945 that the largest death camp Auschwitz-Birkenau was liberated by Soviet troops. It has been observed, on this day, in Britain since 2001, although other countries have chosen different dates. It was officially recognised by the United Nations General Assembly resolution 60/7, during 2005, to mark the 60th anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz-Birkenau. Today the world uniformly recognises the 27^th of January as Holocaust Remembrance Day.

And why do we mark this day? It is not just out of respect for the 6 million Jewish people, the 3 million Soviet prisoners of war, the 1 million Roma, the quarter of a million disabled, the 10,000 homosexuals and the many many more who were so brutally murdered. We mark is to say never again. Never again can this be allowed to happen. Well it seems that we have failed. Attempted Genocide still goes on and brutality towards one another continues and has continued ever since. Maybe not on the same industrial scale as under the Nazi regime, but it has continued; it has continued not only in other lands, far, far away but in our land too and to some extent in our very communities. It continues every time we dehumanize another, or ourselves. It happens every time we fail to recognise the sacredness of life, our own or that of others; for to commit such brutality requires a human being to fail to recognise the sacredness of another’s humanity and that of all life. It requires us to reduce ourselves or others to nothingness; it requires nihilism; it requires us to reduce life or at least the life of another into something without meaning. To destroy life without conscience requires a human being to reject the sacredness of life.

I was sat trying to figure out how to approach this subject the other day. I was doing my usual broad sweep, looking at different angles of approach, when I remembered that the first Unitarian service I ever attended, some 8 years ago, must have been on or around Holocaust Remembrance Day. I know it was a cold Wednesday lunchtime in January, when I first walked through the entrance of Cross Street Chapel; I remember it like it had just happened; I can re-feel the whole experience now. It was at a time when so much was changing in my life and as a response I was attempting to make sense of things and exploring religious paths. I was looking for spiritual answers, because I knew that they did not lay in my former reductionist and materialist mindset. By the way I’ve not found the answers, unless the answer is to seek and to serve, which I suspect it might be.

I sat and listened intently and was touched deep down within the core of my being  by the minister John Midgely's short address. What sank into my soul was this idea that Germany had been overcome by a dark sickness, but that this was not unique to the German people. It could happen to any country and or any culture. I can think of no society or nation that has not committed atrocities against another and if not against others then against its own people. What I realised was that this darkness is in me as it is in everyone and everything, but it is not all that there is, goodness, love and compassion is present too. The key is to feed the love and not let the hate prevail. The basis of my own theology is that there is that of God in everything, but that this is not the only force at work. There is another force at work too and this force thrives on separation, on alienation. I see it at work whenever we separate each other whenever we see someone or something as lacking in worth and dignity. It operates whenever we make someone or something unwelcome; it works whenever we reject, whenever we refuse hospitality to someone or something; it operates whenever we lock someone or something outside of the city gates, including ourselves; it happens when we lose reverence for life itself.

Distrust and fear are deeply rooted within our psyche, within our culture. We do not trust one another, we are afraid of the stranger. Just think about how we greet each other. What do we do? We usually shake hands. Why do we do this? Well it stems from the middle ages. Back then we shook hands to check if our guest was carrying concealed weapons. It is not a greeting based on love, but one based on distrust. Only after they shook hands could the host sit comfortably with his guest. And what did the guest do as soon as he was poured a drink? He chinked his cup with that of his host. He did this to ensure that the host got some of his drink, therefore if he had been poisoned then so had his host.

Deep mistrust and suspicion is ingrained within our culture. Maybe this is why we find it difficult to welcome the stranger, to revere the other. We are taught to separate.

There must be another way, a way that does not encourage distrust. There is, the other way is reverence. The key is to learn to revere one another. After all we are all formed from the same substance and we have the same spirit running through us. Shakespeare expresses this so beautifully in Hamlet...

“What a piece of work is man! How noble in reason! How infinite in faculties! In form and moving, how express and admirable, how like an angel! In apprehension, how like a god! The beauty of the world! The paragon of animals!”

Hindu’s are taught to acknowledge one another reverentially whenever they meet. Their greeting ritual is not based on distrust it is based on reverence. They greet by bowing with hands joined together. They honour the sacred mystery they are encountering. This is the key I believe, this honouring of the sacred mystery in each of us.

We are all part of the one human family, the family of life. When we separate, we dehumanize, we fail to acknowledge one another’s sacred mystery. We are not all exactly the same we have different qualities, different characteristics, different gifts to offer as well as different needs. That said we are all made of the same substance, the very same substance that the whole universe is made of, or at least the matter we have knowledge of and I believe that the same spirit runs through all life. I do not personally believe it controls all of it, but it is certainly present, always there offering the lure of its love. It is our task to choose this love, because if we do not then we will begin to separate and alienate and I believe that it is this that causes the distrust and fear that leads to hatred and dehumanising violence.

The solution is simple, I believe, as solutions usually are. The solution is reverence, reverence for life itself. We need to offer welcome to everyone and everything including that which we find uncomfortable.

Today we remember the Holocaust and the millions that have been murdered by the hands of fear, distrust and hatred. Today we recommit to the ideal that we never let this happen again. We do so recognising that it happens all the time. And that it begins to happen again every time we separate one from another every time we fail to revere the sacred mystery of one another and the sacred mystery of life.

So let us begin again in love, by learning to revere one another and all that is life and beyond...

...It seems approapriate to end this blog with the following words by my colleague the recently retired Rev Cliff Reed 

"Marking the Holocaust"

I ask you now please to stand in solemn silence and remember the names that stand for genocide –

Auschwitz, Sobibor, Majdanek; Dachau, Buchenwald, Bergen-Belsen; the list goes on and on...

Tasmania, Wounded Knee, Armenia; Halabja, Bosnia, Rwanda; the list goes on and on...

The names of places where humanity failed to be human. The names of places where we reached the depths.

We stand in solemn silence. We hear the words of the Kaddish spoken in memory of the millions dead, each one an individual, a murdered person.

We honour them as lost kin. We honour those who resisted evil. We honour the righteous of the nations. Would that we had been among them...

Amen

"What religion has done for me"

The following piece accompanies the blog on "Religion and Spirituality".Here are some thoughts on "What religion has done for me"

I did not have a particularly religious upbringing. As a teenager I cannot claim to have been anti-religious either, I just didn’t see its relevance. I have always been interested in ideas, religious ones being one of many. That said from the age of 11, until my late twenties, I was more interested in political and perhaps philosophical ideas than anything else. Religion just seemed old hat, something from the past.

I grew up in the village of Birstall, in West Yorkshire. In the market square is a statue of Joseph Priestley. Priestley is one of the two founding fathers of British Unitarianism. He was also a major figure in its development in America. I attended the same school that he did, Batley Grammar. Of course we all knew about him but as a scientist, but not as a radical minister of religion. I never once remember any mention of this, as we were growing up. Although perhaps it was mentioned and the reason that it failed to register with me was because I just was not interested. We knew of Priestley the scientist, the man who discovered oxygen and invented soda water...or as we would often say “The man who invented oxygen”.

Throughout most of my life I had very little interest in religion. I was an agnostic who was verging on atheism, although I never quite took the leap of absolute disbelief. My late teens and early twenties were a mixture of hedonism, dark music and left wing politics. I was in a band and we thought we were going to change the world, oh the arrogance of youth. Meanwhile I worked in the civil service. In my mid twenties I came to Manchester and gained a degree in Politics and Modern History and soon after started work as a free-lance historian. It was during this time that Mr Priestley reared his head once again, due to his political radicalism. I hasten to add that even then I paid no attention to his religion.

This all began to change between the years 2002 and 2004 as things changed within me and my experiences of life external to me. This was brought on by my acceptance of and recovery from alcoholism. It was around this time that I began to experience what I know today as God. I had a life changing spiritual experience, I can think of no better way of describing what happened. As a result I began to explore different religions and spiritual groups. I discovered Unitarianism, almost by accident really, but became immediately interested. I soon discovered that there were congregations locally and after a bit more research I began attending Cross Street Chapel, in Manchester.

 I can still remember the first service I attended, led by Rev John Midgley, it spoke powerfully to me. I also remember the warmth of the greeting that the handful of folk in attendance extended to me. I can still feel Peter Sampson's handshake as he passed me the hymn book, and gently spoke to me.

I enjoyed every aspect of congregational life; getting to know people first within the congregation and eventually further afield. I spent months bending John’s ear about everything, as I did with most people. I joined the choir and an R.E. group and just became part of the place. I felt cared for, I felt loved and I felt welcomed.

Hospitality has to be the key to true religion, in practice.  One of my favourite hymns is “All Are Welcome Here” it reads “All are welcome here...all are welcome to seek in spite of fear...to open wide to all our hearts...for all are welcome here.” To me this is the whole point of religion, to build communities of love that encourage that search for understanding and meaning, that search beyond the confines of our limited individual selves. I have certainly found that to be true of my chosen Unitarian faith, at its best at least; it encourages each of us as individuals to continue that search but to do so together, unconstrained. I felt welcomed and I was listened to during my time at Cross Street. I found a religious community where I could be myself, but not in isolation; I am certain I would not, could not have discovered so much alone. I did not realise then just how much I would need that community...

I was at work on Thursday morning, November 2^nd 2006 to be precise, when I received a phone call from my dearest friend Claire. She told me her son Ethan had been killed on his way to school. I immediately left and went to Manchester Royal Infirmary. I loved Claire and Ethan more than anybody in the world, but today is not a time to talk about that. John my minister came to the hospital to be with us and the family and held us in prayer over Ethan’s broken little body. He was there for us over the next few months. I will never forget all that he did.

I left the hospital later that day and felt utterly alone and lost. Claire had gone with her family and Luke (Ethan’s dad) had gone with his family. John also had to go. So what did I do? Well the first thing I did was pray. That was not enough though I needed to be with people. So I rang up some of the Cross Street folk. Well several of them just happened to be up at our Oldham Chapel, I made my way there and spent the rest of the day with these people. They listened to me, fed me and looked after me. This continued over the next months and year really as I came to terms with everything, while attempting to be there for Claire. The people of my community were able to be there, in an unobtrusive manner while I came to terms with the horrors of all that had happened. I took some time off work and spent a lot of time with these different people. They loved me when I really needed it. I do not believe I would have come through it on my own. I am sure I would have survived I am just not so sure I would have done so without  hardening my heart. They helped me keep my heart open.

It was coming to terms with all of this that drew me into ministry. I wanted to be part of and to attempt to build a community of loving compassion, of true hospitality that attempts to hold people and allow them to be who they really are in every aspect of life. At least that was and is my ambition.

I have been minister to the  good folk of Altrincham and Urmston for over a year and I feel that we have got to know one another quite well. From the outset I made it a priority of mine to spend time talking, but above all else listening, to them. During the worship we have shared I have encouraged openness by allowing them to get to know me. Worship for me must always speak the language of the heart and not just feed the intellect. This may well have been a challenge for some folk, but was a deliberate decision on my part in an attempt to give those present permission to be open with me. I have spent time with everyone connected with both congregations, visiting them in their own homes and talking with them about many things. This has been a real treasure to me, personally. We have some real gems hidden away in our congregations. I cannot begin to express how deeply moved I have been by what people have shared with me. Virtually every conversation has been littered with moving stories of love, of pain, of grief and of faith. I have heard some of the most incredible tales of personal spiritual experience, something I have an interest in. I have rarely left someone’s home without feeling that my life has been enhanced by the time we have just shared. I have felt welcomed into the lives of the people within both communities and for that I am profoundly grateful.

“Listen with the ear of your heart”, has become my mantra. It comes from “The Rule of Benedict” a set of ancient principles for monastic orders, followed by many Christian and some Buddhist communities today. The foundation of the rule is listening, deep attentive listening. It begins, “listen carefully, my child, to the instructions...and attend to them with the ear of your heart “. What is required is deep listening, a concept proposed, in contemporary times, by the Dalai Lama.

To me this is the whole point of religion; to be an environment that encourages us to listen, to one another and to the voice of transcendence that speaks through all and yet beyond life. Just think of the blind men and the elephant. Maybe just maybe if they had listened to one another they may have got a better idea of what an elephant was really like, instead of just grasping in the dark trying to make sense of the little bit that they were able to get a hold of.

It’s more than that though. The real purpose of religious community is to offer a place of love, support and above all else compassion as we walk through the journey of our lives. We cannot possibly experience that if we journey alone. I want and need to journey with others and I am no longer ashamed to admit this.

Religion has done an awful lot for me.

Humility and Openness

I recently attended Bolton Central Mosque along with about 50 other people connected to Altrincham Interfaith Group. It was a most interesting and spiritually powerful experience, the hospitality was both warm and generous and I learnt quite a lot that I was not aware of. What surprised me the most was the physical nature of Muslim prayer, which became very clear when observed in the flesh. During the evening several men talked about the mosque and what Islam meant to them. Throughout the night there was one man who shared quite frequently with us. He was a recent convert and talked passionately about what the Islamic faith had given him. There was no doubt that he was at peace and he certainly knew his stuff. He had been a devout Christian most of his life but had become interested in Islam due to the phrase he once heard “people of the book”. This had taken him on a journey of exploration which had led, three years previously, to him converting to Islam. The man talked about the history of Judaism and Christianity and the many shared prophets and figures, particularly the importance of Jesus and Mary. It was Islam’s veneration of Mary that seemed to move him the most; in fact it brought him to tears as he spoke of her. In Islam, of course, all the prophets led to the final prophet, Mohammed. This is where I really take issue with Islam, just as I question the concept of Christian Uniqueness. I personally cannot accept that Divine revelation occurred or incarnated at one time or to one human being at one particular moment in human history and on this small rather insignificant rock rotating through the vast cosmos. It just doesn’t make sense to me. It does not sound like the God of universal love that I have come to know.

The problem with absolute truths and certainty for me is that they lack humility and lead to people needing to protect themselves and what they know. It also seems to me to be a denial of reality and truth. I have come to accept that it is personally way beyond my human capacity, to fully comprehend that great mystery that I feel comfortable today naming as God.

At some point in our lives we all ask the question where do I come from, what is this all about and where are we heading to? We humans seem to be the only creatures that do so, or at least the only ones who can communicate this question. I’ve not met anyone who can answer that question perfectly whether through religion or the secular world. For me this ok today, it is humbling and as a result it keeps me open to seek and to search and to experience. Humility reminds me of my smallness. No matter what we learn about life, death, God, and the universe at the end of our lives we will still know next to nothing.

Openness promises the opposite. For the heart there is no limit on how much we can learn, change and love. Yes we need knowledge gained from honest experience; but we also need to accept that our rational minds, whether informed by religion or science, can never resolve the mystery and miracle of life. I believe it is beyond out human capacity to ever make complete sense of this mystery that creates life from nothing.

Forrest Church asserts that there are two keys to religious living, humility and openness; that by working the two together; remaining humble about how little we can possibly know while maintaining an openness to how the sky is the limit in terms of our growth, we experience a dynamic to life that is wondrous.

He states:

 “No ceiling limits the expansion of the human heart. Yet, humility teaches that when death visits, we will have attained only a flickering notion of what life and death are all about. The light we discover will be framed by darkness. But, when we ponder the nature of our shared mortality, meaning may begin to emerge. Not unlike when we leave a warm, brightly lit room, go outdoors, and contemplate a dark winter sky: one by one the stars come out.”

I do not believe everything is ever revealed to one person and at one moment in time and even if it was I believe it would be beyond our capacity to fully comprehend it. I am not convinced we would even be fully aware of it, even if it was.

Of course for many people this is not what they are looking for in their search for truth and meaning. Many people do seem to be looking for certainty for definite answers. I suspect that they are also hoping to find ways to finally transcend the ultimate in humility, our own deaths. Likewise there are those that will reject any or all of our religious impulses just because religion cannot offer them definite answers any longer.

I remember a few years ago when I was a member at Cross Street Chapel in Manchester that the minister led “A Building Your Own Theology” course. For me it was a defining experience in realising that I belonged in a Unitarian community. I remember our denominational Chief Executive Derek McCauley had recently begun attending when this course started and I often wonder if this played a part in cementing his Unitarianism. Most of us, who were mainly new people, gained greatly from the whole experience, but one man didn’t. He was a man of science who was obviously going through a particular crisis in his life. He was like several of us seeking some answers and perhaps he thought he had found them in Unitarianism. Half way through the course he stopped coming and wrote a letter explaining his reasons for leaving both the course and the chapel. He said that he had begun attending an Anglican church and that the structure and certainty that it offered him was what he needed at this point in his life.

Some people need answers; they need firm solid absolute answers in order to give themselves some order to cling to in the uncertainty of life. Humbly accepting that we cannot know the whole truth does not satisfy many people. This leads many folk to give up on any attempt at religious living or can lead them to take on the whole belief structure of one path without asking any questions. As a result they batten down the hatches, put up the barriers and say this is the truth and I do not want to question it. For me this seems impossible and if I do that and settle for the one truth, forever, I suspect that I might miss out on those other stars as they slowly start to reveal themselves out of the darkness.

Forrest Church offered this advice to his congregants: “If you believe in God, the best thing you can do for yourself is to suspend your belief for a while, because undoubtedly your God is too small and you must grow beyond that God. On the other hand, if you don't believe in God, your very disbelief is a stumbling block. Kick it away and place your faith in something, in something more ennobling than disbelief. Take a flier. Expand your purview. Take a leap of faith."

One by one the stars come out...imagine that