Earlier that day I had been out walking with Molly. We are not like minded, but I believe we are like hearted. It was one of those walks where I let her take the lead, to follow her nose. She led the way 95% of the time, I just occasionally made an adjustment so as not to end up down some mucky hole. We did finally end up in one of the local parks. I observed many interesting things. A couple who I see often approached me. One of them is somewhat cynical and is always trying to draw me into unpleasant conversations. At one point he muttered about a group of young children who were holding out a rainbow flag and singing “He’s got the whole world in his hands”, it was lovely to see, although he didn’t think so. I also spoke with a few other dog folk and those with children. A diverse bunch of people who talked about a variety of things. Most it seems were fairly like hearted, although one or two were certainly not.
I remember very early in my Unitarian journey I first heard the phrase “You need not think alike to love alike”. I think if there is a spirit that permeates our tradition that this might be it. It is certainly something we ought to aspire to. Of course we all fall short of this ideal. It has been attributed to Francis David who is seen as the father of established Unitarianism and was the spiritual advisor to King John Sigismund of Transylvanin, the Unitarian king who pronounced an act of religious toleration the Edit of Torda in 1568.
Now while “We need not think alike to love alike” is a beautiful sentiment and certainly fits in with the principles of religious toleration. It would appear that there is no real evidence that Francis David ever actually uttered the words. There are arguments as to the original source some claim it was the non-Trinitarian martyr Michael Servetus where as others suggest it was more likely the father of Methodism John Wesley, who asked in a sermon on “Catholic Spirit,” “Though we cannot think alike, may we not love alike?”
I do not think it matters who first uttered the words, more the meaning behind them and what has grown and developed from them. What matters to me is the spiritual depth at the core of these simple words. “We need not think alike to love alike.” Or to put it another way we need not be like minded to be like hearted. To me this is essence the Unitarian free religious faith. We are none creedal we do not declare a statement of faith and yet we are held together by a sense of love and understanding. They used to say “Reason, Freedom and Tolerance” but as Rev Stephen Lingwood has said this is not enough.
“Freedom, reason, tolerance and pluralism aren’t enough, not on their own. We need a message to give to people, good News to preach. What good News can Unitarians give to the world? Just this: Love. A Holy Love that transforms, that is powerful and prophetic and justice-seeking. This message has always been at the heart of our faith.”
Of course this is an ideal and certainly not an easy one to live up to. We can rationally think, believe, in ways that uphold “Freedom, reason, tolerance and pluralism” but to truly love and radically accept someone who appears different can be much harder. This involves the heart and a fully exposed and open one at that. In some ways it requires a vulnerable heart and that aint easy. What if they hurt us?
My ministerial mantra is “Come as you, exactly as you are…but do not expect to leave in exactly the same condition” This is an invitation to all, whether you’ve been here forever or have just walked through the door. It is also an invitation to myself, because I know this aint easy. And just like everyone else I need to keep on leaving in a new condition.
It is hard to come as you truly are, to be who you truly are. Most folk fear that they will be rejected for being as they truly are. If they let others see the real them. No doubt it has happened to every single one of us at one time or another. It is hard to say this is who I am, will you still love me and accept me anyway. Well actually maybe here in lays part of the problem. By saying this is who I am are we really showing who we are in a truly open sense. I actually think when we make such statements a barrier is already being formed without us even realising it. Surely it is better to show who we really are and this is about the heart more than the mind, this is about love rather than belief or disbelief, this is about deeds rather than creeds.
Last Sunday afternoon I attended the “Altrincham Interfaith Group” Afternoon tea. It was a lovely occasion. Many people coming together who think differently about faith and belief but are inspired by a loving spirit. Several representatives from different traditions were invited to offer blessings at the commencement. I was one. I said something like the following, it is similar to my invitation at the commencement of worship. “Let us invite a loving presence, how ever we may understand it, to be amongst us and to awaken from deep down within us all. May we open our hearts, listen with the ears of our hearts and speak our truth in love, for the language of the heart is universal.”
There were several interesting speakers during the tea, they spoke of the work that they are engaged in the wider community. Such vital work in these divisive times. Councillor Eve Parker being one of them. Eve is the Community Cohesion Lead and in 2024 launched Trafford Faith Action Network. Dr Eve Parker is a theologian and on the faculty of the school of religion and theology at the University of Manchester. One thing she said really resonated with me, this was that tolerance alone is not enough. Something deeper was required. This is a sentiment I have felt myself, for some time. I feel something deeper is required, something rooted in loving understanding, a recognition that we are all formed from the same heart and spirit despite what are sometimes seen as our difference. Love and respect must be at the heart of things.
I was chatting with a young man on Tuesday morning. He is on a spiritual journey, exploring all kinds of things. He seems drawn particularly to Eastern Traditions. He asked me if I was a priest. I said well not exactly. I then attempted to explain the difference between a minister and a priest. He then said oh yes you a Unilateral minister aren’t you. I said well not exactly I am a Unitarian minister. I smiled as I remembered a conversation I had in the park recently when a man said “You are the Humanitarian” minister aren’t you. I quite like that description actually. I spoke with the young man a little about our free religious tradition, before I was distracted by Molly’s need to go for a poo in the grass area in front of the town hall.
It can be challenge attempting to articulate our faith. People no doubt come up with a variety of views. They used to say “Freedom, Reason and Tolerance.”, which was the simple nineteenth century position. I have over the years attempted to come up with my own, here are three elements I have identified in my time.
One is authority. We say that authority lays within the enlightened conscience of the individual, that we are not only free but encouraged to seek our own truth in matters of faith. That personal experience and reflection upon these experiences is our final authority that no one can tell us what we ought to believe. That does not mean that we can believe what we want, more what we must. We believe what our experiences teach us.
The second is respect and celebration of difference. Now some describe this as tolerance, but I don’t think that is enough. I am with Eve here. I’m not decrying tolerance, if only we human beings could be more tolerant of one another. That said I still hear judgement in the word tolerant. As if in claiming this word what people are saying is “I am tolerating you and your view, but I still think you are a crank.” I don’t see respect and celebration in this. If I accept that I have freedom to reach my own conclusions and believe that this is a wonderful thing, then to judge or merely tolerate another for the conclusions they reach is neither truly respecting or celebrating this approach. Also, such judgement seems to lack humility.
This leads me to the third aspect, which I see as humility and the openness that this breeds. This stems from the idea that whatever conclusions I have reached today I have not sealed this truth. Again, this is something to celebrate, the openness that true humility brings. That by rejoicing in the truth that others may reach I can myself experience a deeper revelation if I listen with an open mind, heart and soul. Truth is always subjective. I know myself that my view on faith and many things has shifted at times in my life. This is because my experiences have changed, as have my reflections upon them and my ability to listen to others experiences and their honest reflections upon them too.
These three “freedom, respect and humility” are key to my understanding of my chosen Unitarian faith. These three little words “freedom, respect & humility” just about sum up my understanding of my chosen free religious tradition.
People experience and understand the spiritual aspects of their lives in different ways and when they try to explain these experiences they often articulate them differently. They often use different words to describe the same thing. Or use the same words to talk about different things. The words themselves can often get in the way of describing the experiences that people all have. That said what else do we have to describe what often cannot be fully understood.
One of the great blessings of my job is that people, often complete strangers, tell me about experiences that they do not understand; often experiences that their rational minds don’t believe in and yet they have experienced them all the same. Experiences that have changed them for ever. I love these conversations, they are the language of the heart alive. Such conversations open up the ears of my heart.
There seems to be two common themes to these experiences. One has been the transformative nature of them and the second that they have never dared tell another soul about them, for fear of ridicule. It truly is a humbling blessing that they feel that they can speak to me about them.
I remember one such occasion a few years ago when I went to buy a new laptop computer. One thing I had to was my profession. This led to a very interesting conversation. He began to recount an experience that happened many years ago, that had totally transformed him and his experience of life. He made me smile as he insisted he wasn’t a religious man, as he couldn’t get along with dogma and the like but he experienced something that day that had transformed him and that he was now able to experience this in every aspect of his life. As he spoke I just smiled and listened and told him how many people have had similar experiences including myself and how the two characteristics he described were common, the fear of speaking about them and their transformative nature.
Now while there has been these two themes - the fear of speaking about them and the transformative nature of them - prevalent in many of the conversations I have had, I have also noticed many differences too. I suspect that this due primarily to each individuals religious backgrounds, which must influence the conclusions they have come too. What has struck me though has been the honesty and integrity in which what has been described has been recounted. I have never spoken to many of these people again and yet what they have said has been permanently etched on the soul of me. I have also noticed that each time I have listened to others and shared my own experiences something in me has opened up and I have felt that spirit once again. How many times have I smiled and been warmed and yet shivered at the same time? God only knows.
This to me is how the language of the heart operates, it has the capacity to transform our lives. I believe that we can all be transformed by the language of the heart. It begins by learning to listen with the ears of our hearts and to speak with the tongues of our hearts. For it is the language of the heart that carries the voice of transformation. It can bring about transformation not only in all lives who are touched by it, but also the lives that they themselves touch.
With this in heart and mind and in the spirit of freedom, respect and humility I believe that a new world can begin to be born. Let us not be held back by what we think we know. Let’s open all our senses to the spirit present in all life. Let our ears be opened to the language of the heart, spoken from every tongue and let us speak the language of the heart in our every interaction.
For the language of the heart is Universal it breaks down any and every barrier and touches and transform all who have ears to hear…
May we listen with the ears of our heart. May we speak our truth in love. For the language of the heart truly is universal.
Below is a video devotion based on the material in this "Blogspot"
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