To See the World In Our Eyes

Over the last year I have found making eye contact ever more important. We cannot physically touch, shake hands, even speaking close to one another is potentially damaging. That said we can still stay connected, primarily through eye contact. I have noticed people eyes more and more, particularly while wearing masks. The eyes are revealing more and more and they seem even more vital in keeping us connected. As time goes by I am attempting to pass on loving connection more and more, through my eyes. What they reveal about my own soul and what they reveal about the soul of the world, in the way I look at the people and life all around me. Walking around with fear and or suspicion is no use to anyone and it can itself becoming viral, negativity can spread quickly.

 

They say that our eyes are the windows to our souls; they say that our eyes reveal our personalities. Why you may well ask? Well because they reveals a deep truth about humanity. We can hide so much about ourselves, behind a thousand and one masks, but if you look into someone’s eyes and really pay attention, you will see the soul of the person.

 

How we look at others matters. We can look on people with compassion, or we can give them a “hard look”. Think about it when someone gives us a “hard look”, what do we do? Well often we turn away in fear, or respond in anger or aggression. What if someone looks at us with compassion, how do we respond to this? Well usually we look back with compassion. Well we do unless we have fallen so far down into that pit of nihilistic despair that we respond to love with utter hatred. I’m sure most folk have been there at some point. I know that I have.

 

How we act towards others really matters. But it’s not just about doing what is right; it’s also about the spirit in which each task is conducted. We can appear to be encouraging and loving and doing the right thing, but our eyes may well say otherwise..

 

I often hear people say that they can’t smile at people in public any longer, due to the need to wear masks, but is this true? We think we smile with our mouths, but we do not, we smile with our eyes. When I smile my eyes almost slant shut. Whatever we do, and however we do something, our eyes will reveal the truth of our hearts and people will intuitively pick up on this. They will see it into our eyes. We can see what is going on in some one’s eyes, even from a distance. All you have to do is look with soft eyes, with open eyes.

 

I recently came across a story about the writer Alice Walker. She tells of the moment her young daughter first noticed an imperfection in one of her eyes. She braced herself for a reaction of horror at seeing this stigma that had caused Walker such shame since childhood. Her daughter’s reaction was not what she expected, for her daughter was both amazed and delighted by what she could see with her own eyes. She cried out 'Mommy, there's a world in your eye...Mommy, where did you get that world in your eye?' What her daughter saw taught Walker that it was possible to love even the damaged eye that had caused her so much shame ever since she was a child. I wonder if it is possible for all of us to look into the eyes of one another and see the whole world in their eyes.

 

This is not always easy, especially when looking at the world in which we live and breath and share our being. How do we look at the world, how do we look at one another? Do we narrow our eyes, or do we widen our vision?

 

I know there are times when I look at the world that my vision narrows. It happened again a week last Wednesday as I watched the attack by the mob, inspired by Donald Trump and others, on the Capitol building in Washington. It happened as I heard and witnessed some of the insanity that followed. It happens when I have witnessed other acts of senseless violence inflicted on others or the spreading of hatred of others. I can at times think that I am somehow different from these people. I can fall for the lie that there are two types of people in this world, that I am not like them. The truth is that I too narrow my eyes and experience feelings of hatred and I that this is what fuels that kind of violence, this sense that the other is different from me; I too can experience a sense that I am superior to some people. I believe that everyone of us has the capacity for great love and compassion as well as great violence and that each and everyone of us can fall down a rabbit hole of madness. My goodness I have sadly witnessed this in people ever more this last year. The key is how we view the world and how I see our brothers and sisters. Do we see the whole world in their eyes, or do we see something other? It matters you know, it matters what we see and how we see, everything matters, it really does.

 

A facebook memory by Parker J Palmer came up the other day. It was a reflection on Rumi’s much loved poem “The Guest House”  

“The Guest House”

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

Jalaluddin Rumi, translation by Coleman Barks (The Essential Rumi)

Palmer highlights how the poem reminds him of what it means to be human, as he writes: “I have a lot of characters inside of me, and each has a voice of its own. Some of those characters and voices I like. Some not so much! But I need to listen to all of them—not censoring the ones I don't like—and try to host a life-giving inner conversation.” I agree with him, we have to hear all the voices within ourselves, to recognise them as a part of our humanity and also listen to all the voices out there, even the ones that disturb us greatly. We have to listen to them if we want to bring healing not only to ourselves, but our communities and our world. This does not mean tolerating hatred or allowing abuse at any level, but it does mean listening and looking deeply and seeing the whole world in one another’s eyes. It means not seeing the other as alien, as those causing violence do, or rejecting either ours or another’s humanity. This is hard work, tough work, but if we want to bring healing it is something that we must do. If we do not then we will fan the flames of otherness and rejection and peace and healing cannot begin to happen. It matters how we look at the world, do we narrow our eyes or do we widen our eyes? Do we overcome, or do we lower ourselves and become the worst we can be? It is up to us.

Bill Darlison responded to Parker J Palmer’s post stating “I hope we’re gradually learning the truth of what Walt Whitman said, “ I am large, I contain multitudes”. Or what the gospels tell us, “My name is Legion, for we are many.” Acknowledging and learning to live with our own variety, our own conflcting personalities – and those of others – is a major part of spiritual awareness.”

Thank you Bill, real wisdom here. I need to remember this when I look into my own eyes, the eyes of others and the eyes of the world. There are not two types of people in this world. A little later Bill posted the following quotation by Leo Tolstoy from “Resurrection”.

“One of the most widespread superstitions is that every person has his or her own special definite qualities: that he or she is kind, cruel, wise, stupid, energetic, apathetic, and so on. People are not like that. We may say of a man that he is more often kind and cruel, more often wise than stupid, more often energetic than apathetic, or the reverse, but it would not be true to say of one man that he is kind and wise, and another that he is bad and stupid. And yet we always classify people in this way. And this is false… …Every person bears within him or herself germs of every human quality, but sometimes one quality manifests itself, sometimes another, and the person often becomes unlike him or herself, while still remaining the same person.

 

Like Tolstoy when Whitman says “Do I contradict myself? Very well then I contradict myself, (I  am large, I contain multitudes.) he is not only speaking of himself he is speaking of humanity. We are a ball of contradictions and we all possess these contradictions within us all. Like Whitman our world is large and it contains multitudes and yes we all contradict ourselves. We have to look and listen to these contradictions both within ourselves and each other. We need to look and listen, but not with narrow eyes or hearts or ears closed to the world, no we need to be wide and open. Can we look at the world and see it in each others eyes, those windows of the soul? It is not always easy. I know that there are times when my eyes narrow.

It matters how we look at the world, it matters how we look at one another it matters how we look at ourselves. When we look with soft eyes, welcoming eyes, open eyes, we see the world in each others eyes, the whole world with all its contradictions we recognise the sacredness of everything and we contribute to the world. That said if we look with narrow eyes, ones that separate and see the other as different, we begin to reject the world and see that which causes discomfort as the other, then we begin to become a part of the destruction of the world.

It matters how we look at the world, it really does. Let us look with open eyes, with soft eyes. Let us recognise the other in ourselves and ourselves in the other and begin to bring healing to this our wounded world, even in this time of fear, in the midst of the pandemic. Let us recognise the whole world in each others eyes.