A
thought-provoking exploration of the difference between wandering and
wondering.
"If the
wilderness wandering we read about in Scripture were reframed as a time of
wonder, it would be an entirely different experience! I see the difference
between wandering and wondering like this:
"Wandering is a coping mechanism of avoidance that tries
to minimize what is uncomfortable.
"Wondering is an active pursuit of questions and a
willingness to risk the tension in the unknown.
"Wandering is a way to steer clear of the stress that
comes from a deep concern about the direction that might be best for you and
others around you.
"Wondering is a heightened curiosity about God,
yourself, others, and the world that, while often uncomfortable, is full of
passion and intrigue.
"Wandering is motivated by fear, confusion, apathy, and
an endless search for novelty.
"Wondering is motivated by passionate uncertainty about
the mystery of God and the excitement that comes with discovery.
"Throughout
the story, God was inviting a different approach. And God still offers that
invitation to us — to take on a posture of wonder.
"Wonder that fuels
our passion and leads to discovery. Wonder that pushes us to even deeper
questions and away from pat answers. God is calling us not to satisfying
contentment but to deeper meaning-making experiences — the kind of experiences
that bring a community or a family closer together rather than further apart.
The kind of journey that invites the courage to risk and squelches apathy.
"With
questions propelling us along the way, we wonder through the
woods rather than wander."
...I wonder while I wander...Will you come and wander with with me while I wonder my way through this little "blogspot"...
Like most folk I have felt like I’ve been wandering around in circles in
the wilderness these last 12 months. Almost as if I haven’t been fully living
in reality, as alive as I would want to be, my senses have been a little
dulled. I have felt, to some degree, a little physically separate. So. I
haven’t felt like I was wandering like the ancient Israelites did together, in
community for forty years, with Good old Moses. That said I have not felt like
I was in isolation either like Jesus enduring forty days of temptation. I have
been connected and of course not completely alone but at the same time
wandering around aimlessly, getting by, surviving, somehow not fully alive.
I went for a walk with this in my mind the other morning. I passed a
speed limit sign that read max speed 40mph, this brought 40 into my mind. I
asked myself why does the Bible always refer to the number 40? Well, the number
40 symbolises a period of test. It is referenced a total of 146 times in the Bible,
in both the Jewish and Christian scripture. The last twelve months have been a
test for so many of us and it is not over yet. This week brought good news of
course. Death rates are falling as the vaccine continues to be rolled out and a
road map out of the restrictions we have been living through is being drawn. It
seems that we are tentatively heading towards life as we would like to live it.
This will rightly be a slow process, not an overnight matter, but there is
light at the end of the tunnel. The schools will be open again soon. We will
begin to be able to socialise in small numbers outdoor, the gyms, hairdressers
and eateries will begin to open. Who knows in a few months time we may all be
able to sing together, although that is not going to happen this side of summer,
I suspect. We are starting to slowly come out of the wilderness. Let us
continue to tread carefully as we do so.
I’ve been thinking about the wild and the wilderness as I have found
myself walking about again this Lent. I am taking a long daily walk, connecting
in silence to life all around me. It is doing me a whole load of good. Of
course it is helping me physically, as the gyms won’t be open for six or seven
weeks. It is also helping me connect both inwardly and outwardly too. Walking
alone is something I have done at different times in my life. As a child I
would go off alone and almost live in a kind of bubble, I felt safe, but cut
off in this state, it was so vital then. This was my childhood safe place. It
disconnected me from a painful and frightening reality. As an adult it is a
different feeling. These days it is about connecting ever more to reality. By
doing so I connect to God both within myself and alive in reality. When I am
out walking alone, I am not doing so as someone who feels lost and is looking
to be found. Rather this is a time to wander and to wonder and thus feel
connected.
Sometimes we can find ourselves utterly lost, even when in familiar surroundings. We can of course feel lost because our lives have had to be restricted and we do not know what to do with ourselves. Or that we have lost someone or something precious and we are drowning in grief. There are other times when we can feel utterly lost within ourselves. This happens when we separate ourselves from what we know to be true, from that love at the heart of ourselves and the heart of life. When we have blinded ourselves to the light both within and without. I remember the feeling oh so well, when I walled myself in and I began to feel alone and utterly lost.
So, what do we do when we feel lost? Well sometimes we keep on wandering, round and round hoping to find the promised land, alive and awake attempting to learn from the experience, like the ancient Israelites did. Other times, the thing to do is to pause to stop wandering and begin to wonder instead. To loosen up, to lighten up, to be patient and to trust, to take a breath, to enter calm and quiet, to be open once again to let love reach in as well as pour out. As we do, we don’t feel as lost in the wild and instead of wandering aimlessly we begin to wonder with purpose.
This brings to mind a wonderful poem titled “The Way” by Edwin Muir
Friend, I have lost the way.
The way leads on.
Is there another way?
The way is one.
I must retrace the track.
It’s lost and gone.
Back, I must travel back!
None goes there, none.
Then I’ll make here my place –
The road runs on –
Stay here, forever stay.
None stays here, none.
I cannot find the way.
The way leads on.
Oh, places I have passed!
That journey’s done.
And what will come at last?
The way leads on.
Now of course sometimes when you feel lost you aren’t as lost as you think. What you are is actually in a place you would rather not be, or in a situation you would rather not be living through. I am sure we have all felt this at times these last 12 months, I know I have. This brings to mind a wonderful piece of wisdom form my old favourite Mulla Nasruddin
Nasruddin was sat on a river
bank when someone shouted to him from the opposite side:
“Hey! how do I get to the other side?”
To which Nasruddin replied “You are on the
other side!”
We are all on the other side of the river
bank.
By the way I saw a delightful sight on the
other side of the canal the other day. I saw a family walking with two dogs.
One was a little Shih Tzu who was the spitting image of our little Charlie,
walking side by side was a giant Saint Bernard. It was a wonderful and
hilarious sight. I have been chuckling about it ever since. I would have missed
it if I’d been lost in myself and not walking in the wilds of life. My mind has
wondered about many scenarios about that little combination these last few days.
I digress.
Whether
any of us like it or not, we all find ourselves on the wrong river bank at
times, not knowing how to get to the side we would like to. We all find
ourselves in an uncertain place, lost and without guidance. We all feel lost at
times. Sometimes we need to just let our minds wander and begin to wonder.
Sometimes those old tales help here. These stories have a way of revealing
reality through their beautiful mystery.
In his meditation “The Spiritual Journey” David O Rankin names a few who
have walked courageously through theirs. Stating:
“It is Moses leading the Jews through the desert of Sinai, and Jesus
enduring the temptation in the wilderness of Israel, and Buddha seeking
enlightenment along the dusty roads of India.
It is the glorious voyage of Odysseus in Homer’s Odyssey, the narrow
paths through the circles of hell in Dante’s Inferno, and the confessions of the travellers in Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales.
It is the pilgrims sailing on the Mayflower, the settlers moving
westward, being On the Road with Jack
Kerouac, and spinning through a black hole in Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey”
We are all of
us pilgrims on the sacred journey that is life and like so many of the more
famous ones we think we have to go someplace else to discover our own Nirvana or
to build the New Jerusalem. Just as the pilgrims on the Mayflower did in the
seventeenth century. They believed that they had to travel a great distance to a new
land to create their heaven on earth. Well, I have discovered that this is not
necessary. You do not have to travel great distances to experience the
beautiful journey and you do not need to travel great distances to build the
New Jerusalem, it must be here, in our own hearts or nowhere. The “Kin-dom” of
Love has to be built here or nowhere.
I suspect it’s
the same about finding ourselves once again when we feel lost. Who or what do
we listen to? Well, I am learning to listen to that inner voice, that light
that shines bright within all of us. That spark of the Divine that is within
everything. That which awakens the sense of my senses, that which guides me
home no matter how lost I am and that which allows me to be at home wherever my
feet are planted. That Kin-dom of Love, within me, within each of you and
within everything.
Let love be
our navigator it will always lead us home, to the place where we belong. Do not
worry too much about feeling lost, we all feel that way at times.
The problem isn’t getting lost, we all get lost at times. The problem is in losing faith that you can be found once again. The key is how we live when we find ourselves lost. Do we close down and get lost deeper in our fear, or do we pause and reach out and ask for help from those loving forces that are all around whether visible or invisible. Sometimes all we need to do is stand still and listen, to what is both within us and without us, all around us. Sometimes you just need to sing with the blackbirds, they will always sing back to you and ever more sweetly. Sometimes you just need to follow the directions in this final poem “Lost” by David Wagoner. Just “Stand still. The forest knows where you are. You must let it find you.”
"Lost" by David Wagoner
Stand still. The trees ahead and bushes beside you
Are not lost. Wherever you are is called Here,
And you must treat it as a powerful stranger,
Must ask permission to know it and be known.
The forest breathes. Listen. It answers,
I have made this place around you.
If you leave it, you may come back again, saying Here.
No two trees are the same to Raven.
No two branches are the same to Wren.
If what a tree or a bush does is lost on you,
You are surely lost. Stand still. The forest knows
Where you are. You must let it find you.
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