Hygge: To touch the heart, mind and soul in a time of physical separation

We have been nesting, during my week off duty. We spent much of last week decorating the house, making it our own. This is new to me, not something that has had much meaning in my life before. I know it probably sounds strange to most folk, but then again I never claimed not to be strange fruit. That said I do appreciate the comfort of home, more and more in these challenging times. Home comforts are becoming increasingly important, something that most folks have paid greater attention too since we were forced to spend increasing time at home due to the impact of the Corona virus on our lives. Our worlds and our intimate connections have shrunk to some degree these last few months. We have had to get creative, to find new ways to be intimate, to connect, to touch life in different ways. So surprisingly enough even a man like me is begin to understand the importance of nesting.

Now something that won’t come as a surprise to most folk is my love of language and words, especially words that have either changed in meaning, or somehow got lost or disappeared. New words, or at least new words to our culture are also of interest to me. One word has come into prominence in recent years, the word is Hygge (pronounced hew-geh). It is a word of Scandinavian origin, primarily Danish but also Norwegian. According to Louisa Thomson Brits in “The Book of Hygge” Hygge is defined as “a quality of presence and an experience of belonging and togetherness. It is a feeling of being warm, safe, comforted and sheltered. Hygge is an experience of selfhood and communion with people and places that anchors and affirms us, gives us courage and consolation”. Now aren’t these qualities that we are all seeking after in our current time and global situation? Perhaps there is something in Hygge that can help us as individuals, communities and society as a whole.

Hygge (hew-geh) helps Danes imagine who they are and how they should be together, there is something of the collective and not merely individual about it. Hygge began to come to prominence globally due to an increase in fascination with the Scandinavian countries ever since the launch of the UN World Happiness Report in 2012, in which both Denmark and Norway have never been out of the top three with regards to levels of happiness amongst their population. Could it be down to this concept of Hygge?

So where did this come from? There are various theories as the origin of Hygge. It appears to be rooted in the nineteenth century. Some trace it back to the Biedermeier movement, which developed as a reaction the early nineteenth century revolution passion, throughout Europe. During this period artists and designers returned to the home and developed their private lives as a reaction against the public pretentions of the upper class. Another theory suggests that it was influenced by what was considered to be a more liberal guilt free Protestantism that developed in Denmark in comparison to their Scandinavian neighbours, which was established by the theologian N.F.S Grudtvig. It also developed under the social democratic and egalitarian values of the Danish people.

The central concept of the “Hygge Life”, according to Louisa Thomsen Brits, is “a quality of presence and a feeling of belongness and togetherness. It is a feeling of being warm, safe, comforted and sheltered.” It is a state of being, a way of being and living in the world and not something that you can possess. It is a quality of hominess, of being, of welcome and hospitable, of being warm, safe and sheltered and enables the other to feel that way in your company. It is not a uniquely Danish quality and the Danes themselves do not consider it to be so, it is a quality that you will find at the core of the great religious and spiritual traditions, but perhaps one that has become lost in our individualistic and fast paced lives. Hygge though is central to Danish civil and public life, I am not sure that this can be said of other states outside of Scandinavia.

Hygge has been described as the art of creating intimacy, cosy togetherness and taking pleasure in the presence of soothing things. Although it is often developed through material products it is more about creating a particular atmosphere or to shape an experience. Hyyge is about creating a communal atmosphere of simplicity and presence; it is about living by soulful presence. It is about how to be with each other and nurturing those relationship so as to build respect, goodwill to all and hope, with all your heart, with all your mind, and with all your soul. It is about being good neighbours to all; it is about creating a quiet space, in the rush and push of life to enable our soulfulness to come out of hiding and express itself fully in life, thus inviting the other to do so. Hygge enables the individual to love their neighbours as themselves. We need such places as we live in and through the storms of life. There are many storms in life, both literally and figuratively.

I must be feeling pretty much in that soulful place in my own home as I did not stir in the storms this week, that seem to come through the night. Apparently, it was pandemonium in our house on Monday night, not that I noticed. The old dog Poppy was very upset by the storm and the young dog was going crazy with excitement, Sue and Lucy were awoken and dealt with the dogs, I did not stir once. My soul, my mind and my body were at one, maybe I have found this quality of Hygge.

Hygge is about a love and appreciation of the simple, close to hand things in life. It encourages gratitude for the everyday moments in life. It is about equality and egality, about working together. It has deeply spiritual qualities, but earthy real ones. It recognises the worth of each person, it desires peace and harmony, equality for all, a heartfelt appreciation of the natural world. It builds trust and connection between people, it is about harmonious living. It celebrates the simple pleasure of being alive where ever you find yourself, encouraging soulful presence. To me this is the essence of spiritual living. By living this way you encourage others to come and join with you, to come as they are, exactly as they are. Hygge is about creating intentional intimacy, intimacy with ourselves, with God, with each other and with all life. It is about living by the Divine commandment, to love God and to love our neighbours as ourselves.

Now under our current situation where we cannot offer love and intimacy in our usual manner maybe we need to find new ways to offer intimacy to invite the other into our lives, to connect in a none physical sense. We can still hold and hug and touch it is just with our eyes and voices. I had this experience in chapel and in another setting recently where we were all in masks and socially distant and yet enjoyed deeply spiritual intimacy. The eyes seem to say so much more, possibly because they are the only way to express with our faces and the human voice has seemingly taken on deeper intimacy too. For many folk the telephone has taken on deeper meaning along with all kinds of modern technology which has helped us to connect in new and beautiful ways.

Despite the physical limits the values of Hygge can still shine through, even if we are not fully aware of it. We can still hug, even though we cannot do so with our hands and bodies. By the way Hygge and hug share the same linguistic root, both come from the old Norse word hugr, which meant soul, mind, consciousness. If we live by these principles we can touch those deeper places we can hug and sooth, our souls, our minds, our consciousness. To truly hug someone is far more than a physical act, thus all is not lost when we lose that sense of physical touch. We can touch those deeper places with our intentions, with our eyes and our voices. An attitude of Hygge can help enable this. For it is vital that we do, until the day comes where we can invite others fully into our human presence, who knows when we do we might enable them to do so in more deeper and intimate ways, with our hearts, our minds and souls. Maybe we will be touched by life in more deeper ways.

I want to share with something David Whyte posted this week in response to a reflection he wrote a few years on the importance of touch, something that has become a physical danger due to the virus. He wrote:

“One of the many traumas around the fear of contagion with the Coronavirus is the sudden fear of touch: something absolutely necessary for human beings becomes something that brings not promise or solace or condolence but a possible closeness to illness and death. Touch is a hallmark of our humanity and a necessity for us all, it is a sign of our own gifted vulnerability, and a sign of loyalty when touch is required with a close loved one - irrespective of danger – few parents will leave their child untouched in their misery, no matter the possible dangers. All the more important then, to remember through this temporary and necessary distancing that this societal contagion requires, what a privilege we have in touch; how important it is for each of us, how much need there will be, and how nourishing it will feel, to restore our daily, sometimes tiny but necessary forms of reaching out as soon as we possibly can.”

Well maybe the qualities of Hygge will help not only in this time when we cannot physically hug but in the future when we begin to rebuild our damaged world, our wounded communities and our hurting hearts. Remember that hygge draws meaning from the fabric of ordinary living. It's a way of acknowledging the sacred in the secular, of giving something ordinary a special context, spirit, and warmth, and taking time to make it extraordinary. Well these are extraordinary times and we can be extraordinary people if we let our spirits come alive. We can hug one another far more deeply than with our human bodies. Remember that to truly hug someone is far more than a physical act, We can touch those deeper places with our intentions, with our eyes and our voices.

So, I invite us to adopt an attitude of Hygge, now and in the days yet to come. For it enable us to touch those deeper aspects of our own humanity and help hold one another in a communal spiritual hug. For it is vital that we do to carry us through this storm until the day comes where we can invite others fully into our human presence,  and thus enable ourselves and others to touch in deeper and intimate ways, with our hearts, our minds and souls.

Let us live in and by the spirit of Hygge.