How Can the Ends Ever Justify the Means if it Means Selling Your Soul?

A friend recently turned 50. He invited a whole host of folk to join with him to share a Sunday afternoon at a venue in Cheshire. He asked people not to bring gifts but to instead either buy or preferably bake one and bring it along. Sue and myself chatted about this and decided we would bake a cake. We spoke to a friend who had recently brought a “Lemon Drizzle Cake”, his mum had baked, to a social gather, for recipes and he gave us two of Mary Berry’s finest. Now this was a challenge for both of us. Sue said she was no baker and I’ve not baked a cake since I was child in my grandma’s kitchen. We chose the recipe and bought the ingredients and followed the instructions to the letter. There was some temptation to freelance, but I insisted that we follow directions. I reminded Sue of the time in Nazareth when we decided not to follow the Sat Nav and decided to freestyle on instinct. Things did not go well.

Anyhow the cake was a great success. It was consumed very quickly as were all the many cakes that came along with the wonderful barbecue food. In fact the day was such a lovely success that Sue and myself have decided that we will do something similar for our wedding next year. We are not going to ask for presents, instead we will invite guests to bring food along for themselves and others to share and have a kind of “bring and share” meal.

If only life was as simple as cake baking. It isn’t though and actually I am glad of that. Life does not follow a simple pattern and making decisions about what is right and wrong and which way to turn is not always obvious. We are not given a recipe or set of directions at the beginning or at any stage really. That said the journey of life is not about beginning in one place and trying to get to another. The journey of life is a road to nowhere. The destination is the journey itself. And a successful journey is shown in how we travel with ourselves and one another. It is about learning to truly inhabit our lives and the ground at our feet. Its about the experiencing the kin-dom of love in this time and space and giving birth to that kin-dom of love from deep within.

We live in a destination fixated culture. That life is all about getting to some kind of promised land. So much so that we forget that the key is not so much the destination but how we journey, how we live. We miss out on life because we fail to recognize the sacredness of each experience. There are other dangers too. We can be so fixated on the goal that we can lose our integrity and end up justifying all kinds of acts in order to reach our perceived goal. We say “Well the ends justify the means.” I am not sure that this is ever the case. Such thinking has led to all kinds of barbarity as people have been sacrificed to achieve a perceived goal. In modern times that has become known as “collateral damage.” Goal orientated philosophies lead to the failure to recognize the sacredness of all people, all souls and all life. All is sacred, every action and interaction.

“The ends justify the means” is Machiavellian to the core. In fact this ideal can be traced back to the following from Chapter XVIII from “The Prince” by Niccola Machiavelli:

“There is nothing more necessary to appear to have than this last quality (appearing to be religious), inasmuch as men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, because it belongs to everybody to see you, to few to come in touch with you.”

Here Machiavelli is instructing the Prince on how to appear to others for this is the key to achieve what he desires, his personal ends. He told the prince how important it was that he appeared merciful, faithful, humane, upright, and religious. The key was to keep up the appearance even if you are acting contrary to it. This was because, as Machiavelli saw it, most can see what you appear to be, and only a few will get close enough to intimately experience the real truth. The key was to appear as the Prince wished others to see them. It didn’t matter what the truth was only what it appeared to be. For Machiavelli to appear to be doing something is good enough even if “The Prince” has no intention of doing so. Or to put it another way the end result far outweighed how he got there; what road he took; who was sacrificed along the way; and whether our behavior was ethical or not.

If we look at world today and much of human history how often have people been sacrificed, manipulated and used for a perceived greater good? Because, apparently, the end justified the means.

I have found that rarely do the ends justify the means. This is because the means of doing anything are an end in themselves, for I believe that all life matters. Perhaps the means are actually more important than the ends for how we travel is a deeply sacred thing; for how we travel reveals who we are in the world and how we see life and the people we share this world with. How we travel the journey that is life reveals who and what we truly are. It reveals our soul and is an example to others. It matters how we travel because people are paying attention. Also in the end the truth is finally revealed. Rome always burns in the end. Finally, someone sees that the King is in in fact in the all together. That the emperor’s new clothes are not all that they seem to be.

So how should we travel? Well I believe that the key is integrity. To travel with integrity, in the beautiful way, it is the way of the soul, but is not easy. There are many crossroads that we will stumble upon as we walk round and round the circle of life. There will be many temptations to sell our souls so as to reach our perceived goals or to avoid the pain and suffering that accompany the joys of life. We are all tempted to make the “Faustian Bargain” and sell our sells. Faust made his bargain with the devil, promising him his soul in the after life just for the experience here on earth so fulfilling that he would be moved to say “Let this moment linger, it is so good.” This was Faust's Destiny, his fools gold, his emperors new clothes. None of which are real and all reject the true experience of life. The end justifying the means, or so it appeared. For if you lose your soul, you lose the one thing that really means something in life.

The problem with being focused on some outcome in life, in some end that would justify any means, even selling our human souls, our integrity or that of another, is that in so doing we miss the wonder of living fully alive. There is an aliveness in every step of the way, even the painful, if they are experienced with integrity.

You see to live from our unique souls, to live with integrity, is not a place that you can ever arrive at. Integrity is not a state of perfection, of completeness, that you stay in for the rest of your lives. Integrity is about bringing who we are into what we do, its about being who we truly are and sharing it with our world. Integrity is about integrating who we are with what we do. I’m not sure we ever fully achieve this, I certainly haven’t. The real journey of life is an attempt to bridge the gap between the two, between who we are and what we do. Absolute integrity is not a place we ever arrive at completely in life, rather it’s the attempt to live with integrity that brings one fully alive.

Life is a journey and a beautiful one at that. It’s a road to nowhere though. This is why the ends can never justify the means. Why? because the means, the way that we live, is the true end in and of itself. It’s about living with integrity, blessing one another with our presence and inspiring others to live the same way. Or at least to try to. It’s about raising one another up to be the best that we can. It’s about not being afraid to reveal who we are, thus encouraging others to do likewise.

The ends do not justify the means. The means (the way we live) is the real end in and of itself. The means are actually more important than the ends for how we travel is more important than where we are travelling too; for how we travel reveals who we are in the world and how we see life and the people we share this world with. How we travel the journey that is life reveals who and what we truly are. It reveals our soul and is an example to others.

Let people see who you truly are. Live with integrity with love. Integrate your soul and your body. Integrate who you really are, with what you do, how you live, or at least attempt and in so doing you will begin to bring that kin-dom of love alive right here right now.

Memories: Honesty, Humilty and Openness

Autumn is a reflective time of the year. The leaves are falling and life is changing and we mammals are preparing ourselves for a time of hibernation. The days are getting shorter, the temperature is falling and no doubt we will all be spending more time indoors.

A friend of mine said to me the other day “You seem to be in quite a reflective mood at the moment”. I have been reflecting on it ever since (Muttley laugh). He is of course right, although I like to think I am quite reflective most of the time. Do not get me wrong I am not someone who gets stuck in their thoughts, but I do know how vital it is to reflect on my life. To see where I am going wrong, to see where I am going right. To pay attention to the impact I am having on life and the impact it is having on me. That said like everyone I do have my blank spots and I need others to point things out to me from time to time. Thankfully I do have ears that can hear these days. Well most of the time at least.

Looking at the past used to fill me with deep pain and anxiety, I was haunted by it day by day. I often felt it creep up behind me and tap me on my shoulder. Thankfully things are very different these days. I can look back at my life honestly and openly without fear of the pain that accompanies it. In fact most of the time as I look back these days it puts a smile on my face and often makes me shake with laughter.

Once again these last few days I have had the opportunity to spend time catching up with people I have known throughout my life. Not as many as I would have liked to, as time does not allow for this. I have been reminded of a few things from my childhood as several family members have recounted some old tales to me. Memory is a funny thing. It is amazing what we remember and what we cannot remember, how memory can be so very selective. Memory also changes over time. My memory, or do I mean my perspective on past events in my life, has changed over time.

For so long I used to say I could not remember much about my childhood and the things that I could remember caused me either pain or embarrassment. I thank God this is no longer the case. It would seem that I was always on the run and you really cannot live like that. I also had a lot of trouble remembering much of my adult life too. I can’t blame all of this on alcohol and other substances, although this did have something to do with it. No I think the bigger part of the problem was my fear of connecting to my life. I was afraid of feeling life itself; I was scared of life itself. This is no way to live.

While people have shared some lovely memories with me this week I have also been told a couple of home truths. As always hearing this can be quite painful. I was approached by someone earlier today who told me that they had been harbouring some resentment towards me for several years. This was due to way I behaved towards them several years ago. On reflection this must have been sometime around the back end of 2005 or early 2006. I listened to the man and could vaguely recall what he was talking about. Now at the time it seemed like nothing to me, but to this man it meant a great deal and was quite hurtful. What he said about me was quite true and I listened and felt his pain. I apologised for how I had been and we shook hands and went our separate ways.

I was so full of myself back then, so certain about so many things. Thankfully I have grown up a little since then. Life has humbled me many times and increasingly opened me up. That said, like most folk, I’ve got a long way to go.

I have also received some criticism from a dear friend over the last couple of days. I was told that I have neglected this friend as I have got on with my life. To some extent this is true. It is a criticism I have heard before and it has caused me to stop and think. I really do need to make more time for the people I love and just as importantly love me too.

The question I am asking myself is do I still fear love? Am I afraid to express and to receive it from others? The truth is that I am better than I was, but there is still work to be done.

Now please do not get me wrong I am not beating myself up here. I am merely honestly reflecting on my life. I know I’ve come a long way these few years. These days I am much more open than I ever was and therefore feel far less lonely than I ever did before. That said there is plenty of room for improvement. I need to increasingly see that no matter how much I think I know there is still so much to learn and if I can just see and accept the truth of this I will once again be opened up to experiences way beyond my imagination. I thank God and the people who can speak openly and honestly to me for that.

An old friend rang me earlier and during the conversation he mentioned a quote I had put on my facebook profile. I have just re-read and it has penetrated deep into my soul. Thank you...

Here it is

“In every field of human inquiry, ignorance increases as knowledge grows. The Greek philosopher Socrates once said, “I am the most ignorant man in Athens.” He wasn’t indulging in false modesty. He was pointing out that others, knowing far less, had no idea how ignorant they were. Socrate’s ignorance, the knowledge of how much remained for him to learn, expanded in direct proportion to his learning. Of both belief and knowledge, the same is true for us. When reflecting on several years of contemplation on the origins of the cosmos, one cosmologist sighed, “It’s not only queerer than we imagined; it’s queerer than can be imagined.”

“Whether informed by religion or by science, our minds cannot unwrap life’s mystery. This is why, in offering evidence to corroborate religious truth, true believers may more honestly be accused of being too rational than too irrational. They are not alone. We all use our minds to figure out things that can’t be deciphered by anything as small as our minds. On the one hand, the attempt is a noble one. Trying to decode life’s mystery is what makes us human.

Balancing these two apparent contradictions. I base my own theology on contrasting principles: openness and humility. No ceiling limits the expansion of the human heart. Yet, humility teaches that when death visits, we will have attained only a flickering notion of what life and death are all about. The light we discover will be framed by darkness. But, when we ponder the nature of our shared mortality, meaning may begin to emerge. Not unlike when we leave a warm, brightly lit room, go outdoors, and contemplate a dark winter sky: one by one the stars come out.” 

Forrest Church

Life has taught me so much and I am extremely grateful for every lesson, including the painful ones. Of all the lessons I have learnt perhaps the most important one is that everything we do and everything we do not do does matter. This is why it is so important to be aware of the impact we have on others. The last few days have helped me to remember this.

Thank you