So what do you do? I work for the church where everything goes wrong

I spent a little time at the recent annual meetings talking with many of the new ministers and student ministers. They are a great bunch by the way. In fact, in many ways, I think it is my favourite aspect of annual meetings each year, getting to know these talented and interesting people. I spent quite a bit of the time talking to and getting to know Peter Flower who will be joining both of the congregations I serve for a year, from September, as part of his ministerial training. He is an interesting man, he has a quiet depth about him. He was the primary musician of the week and is certainly gifted. As we were talking, he asked me about the congregations. So, I told him a little about the places and the people. I talked about our warmth and heart, that we have a humour, but we are far from perfect. In fact, I said we were a bit like the church that the minister served in the piece “The Church Where Everything Goes Wrong” by Elea Kemler. I referenced the final paragraph, that goes as follows.

“But I also imagine a God who is touched and a little honored by our efforts, however halting, to worship and give praise. I imagine a God who is moved by our attempts to care for one another and to name the things we know as holy. There is a warmth in this congregation that is new to me, a simple friendliness that shines through the fumblings and failures, a love that makes the ragged edges smooth. I have always wanted to believe that our mistakes aren't the most important parts of us. I have always wanted to believe that kindness and compassion matter more than anything. I sense that I can learn this here.”

This is spirituality in community to me, “The Church Where everything Goes Wrong”

It was lovely the next morning to see Peter lead worship and to share the piece “The Church Where Everything Goes Wrong” by Elea Kemler. Peter has a lovely and touching way about him, there is a warmth and quiet depth too. He is not showy, but he pays attention. No doubt there will be moments where things go wrong in our time together, there will be laughter, but I also witnessed compassion and kindness and this is what matters most in ministry and life. It is certainly what church ought to be about.

Now it seems I was obviously tempting fate, to bring up this piece, as I witnessed an example of “The Church Where Everything Goes Wrong” over Easter weekend. One element I loved was the fact that it involved both congregations. It began on Saturday at the rehearsal of Melissa and Graeme’s wedding. Everything was organised to precisions. Melissa’s friends and bridesmaids were making sure everything was perfectly in place. There was a problem though. Melissa’s mum Penny was not there for the rehearsal, as she was at the dentist trying to get the cap of her tooth replaced. We rehearsed the wedding to the word, including how the couple would proceed in, with Derek walking his daughter down the aisle. It was choreographed to precision, you would expect nothing less from dancers. The bride and some of the brides maids were dancers. We even planned which side Derek would walk, due to his walking stick, we had to break with tradition. Everything was in its place. How could anything go wrong.

I went off on Easter morning to lead worship at Urmston, no Derek of course as he was preparing for the wedding, the family were ensuring nothing went wrong. I then headed to Altrincham to lead the service, which would be followed an hour later by the wedding. People began to arrive early, just as the Easter service ended. I suggested they join the congregation for refreshments. They did creating a beautiful atmosphere around the place in the Easter sunshine. All was going well and then the hoodoo struck, “The Church Where Everything Goes Wrong”. Derek had forgotten his walking stick. What to do. He couldn’t walk his daughter down the aisle without it. So, we searched around. Gwyneth, the chair of the Altrincham congregation shot off home, as she thought she had one. She didn’t. Someone found a branch broken off from a tree, just in case there was nothing else. I found a large umbrella. Someone thought they might have a spare one in their car. Sadly, they didn’t. As more guests arrived, we asked the bizarre question “Do you have a walking stick”. Well one thought he did, in fact it was one that had been up the Himalaya’s. This seemed like a good omen. So off he went to fetch it. He returned just in time, so all was well. Ken the retired Vicar saved the day. No doubt he knows something about “The Church Where Everything Goes Wrong”

The service went beautifully well, so much love was shared. Folk coming together to help one another in joyous celebration. A tooth even arrived at the reception, sent via Amazon. This was soon fitted and Penny was able to enjoy the afternoon and evening. So much kindness, love and compassion shared by all. Afterall this is what really matters, such a beautiful example of “The Church Where Everything Goes Wrong”

I am the minister who serves “The Church Where Everything Goes Wrong”, I think it suits who I am. I am not in any sense orthodox. I remember early in my time with the good folk of Altrincham and Urmston a congregant saying that I was unlike any minister they had met before. I also remember Bill Darlison saying in response to this “Danny you are unlike any minister that anyone has met before.” It was meant as a compliment, I think! I have my shortcomings, as well as my capabilities. I do think I exemplify kindness, love and compassion though, most of the time. I give all that have and from my sometimes wounded heart. I see examples of this amongst the crop of new ministers and I certainly see it in Peter. He will be his own man, of this I am certain. It is the only way to minister, you cannot create the perfect AI minister. Well, I hope to God you cannot.

Now I know I’m not your typical minister, I’m not sure I’m your typical anything, I’m not sure I’d want to be in any case. People who don’t know me are often surprised when they discover what I do. I was asked by someone recently and a few weeks later they confessed to being shocked at first.

This of course brings to mind another question that I’m often asked...

“So as a minister what do you?” Or sometimes, “what do you the rest of the week?” I’m sure it is something most folk wonder about from time to time. I’m also asked how is it going, the job I mean? Again, this is hard to answer. My usual response is “Well they haven’t chased me out of town yet.” Which is quickly followed by, “I am loved, they love me.” In fact, it is one of the few things of certainty I have in life, that I am loved.

It brought to mind a series of answers given by 5 olds when asked what the minister does, by Bruce T Marshall. The children gave some great responses and I do love his final concluding words

“The minister talks to people when there are problems because it’s better to talk about problems than to hit each other.” What an elegant statement to come from a five year old, to come from anybody.

I’ll let that statement stand. Couldn’t have said it better myself.”

I do believe that it points to what the role of a minister is or what is means to minister. Now of course etymologically speaking to minister is to serve and to serve is to love in its truest sense. Now the love I am talking of here is agape love, self giving love, love without prejudice. Which I believe is perfectly exemplified in these words from Matthew’s Gospel chapter ch 5 vv 48 “Therefore be the perfect, like your father in heaven is perfect”. This is the love that is the root on which ministry must grow. Perfect love is love without prejudice, love for all regardless of where a person has been, who they are, where they are from, what they may or may not have done in the past. This is the love that is expressed in the prodigal son parable. To me this is the essence of love and service; this is the essence of ministry. It is the purpose of my role and it is the purpose of the communities I serve. This I believe is the spirit that must run through all that I do and all that the communities do. Now of course I fall short of this and our community of people fall short of this, but we do aspire, we aim at this and accept that it is ok to fall short. It’s ok! It is also ok to laugh when things go wrong, as we did on Sunday afternoon.

No one can get everything right. I need to remember that, and we need to remember that. Like Elea Kemler I can get frustrated at things not working out they way I would like them too, I am sure we all do. That said just like in “The Church Where Everything Goes Wrong” I too want to believe that kindness and compassion are what matter the most, to me this is what service and love are all about. This is my hope and dream, to model this Love.

The Unitarian tradition emphasises not only the priesthood, but also the prophet hood of all believers. I am not the only minister in the congregations; we minister as a community of individuals not only to ourselves, but also to our wider community. We offer love and service to all. We welcome all, to come as they are exactly as they are, but not to expect to leave in exactly the same condition; to be transformed in a loving and accepting way when they leave this place and to carry that out into their world.

To minister is to be a guest if only for a short while in the life of another human being. This begins by being both a good host and guest.

Religion for me, or at least the free religion that we aspire to be is about love and service. It’s about walking with people in their despair and their hope, in their suffering and their bliss and all that lies in between. It’s about accepting them as they are in all that they are. This is love in its truest sense. It’s about offering perfect love and making that love manifest in all that we feel, all that we think, all that we say and all that we do.

So, in answer to the question, what do I do? Well, I minister to “The Church Where Everything Goes Wrong”. A place where kindness, love and compassion matter most. A place of acceptance of the perfectly imperfect in this world, who aspire to offer perfect Love, a Love without prejudice. A place where anyone may feel they belong. A place where we are unafraid to laugh at ourselves and one another, where we take what we do seriously, but not ourselves too seriously. I give thanks for all who come and join with me, to sing with.

Come sing a song with me, come sing a song with me, come sing a song with me. That I might know your mind. And I’ll being you hope, when hope is hard to find and I’ll bring a song of love and a rose in the winter time.

Thank you for joining with me.

This is “The Church Where Everything Goes Wrong”, Welcome!

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