“Oh I’m more than just a guest,” replied Nasruddin.
“Really?” asked the guard, with a little more respect in his voice. “Are you perhaps a government minister?”
“No, I’m much more important than a government minister!”
“Wow! Are you the Prime Minister?”
“No, I’m much more important than that!”
"Goodness, you must be the king himself!”
“I’m even more important than the king!”
“In this country, nobody is more important than the king!”
“That’s it! You’ve got it! I’m nobody!”
I have a friend who always says to me, whenever we get into conversations about more meaningful things, that more will be revealed. Well, it seems that more was revealed to me this week. I learnt the true origin of my name. I am named after an ‘oss (a horse to most normal speaking folk). My mum recently told me the exact origins of my name, she was correcting a little misinformation I shared last year. My grandma loved Old Testament names, especially David. It would have been my mums name if she had been a boy and it is my auntie’s son’s name. When my mum was pregnant with me, I the second son was going to be called David. My older brother was named Billy, after my dad and grandad. Well, it seems that my grandad’s favourite ‘oss a mare named Dolly had a foal named Billy and then another called Danny. While she was pregnant my mum would see the foals together and thought that Billy and Danny sounded good together and brotherly. So, it seems that David Daniel, became Daniel David, although I have never ever been known as Daniel. Always Danny after what my mum described as a lovely playful foal. Mt mum thought that Billy and Danny made us equal, that one wouldn't be considered the heir and another a spare. My paternal grandad had wanted to name me after his little brother Harry who had died when he was only a small child, I am told I looked a lot like him as a little boy. My mum wouldn’t have it though. As is always the case in naming children, compromises had to be made and no kid was called Harry in those days. She had actually wanted to call me and my brother Otis and Levi, she was a big Motown fan, but I am not sure that would have worked in small Yorkshire town in the 1970’s. My brother did change his name to Otis many years ago, it kind of worked for him as he is a musician. I have always felt happy with Danny, never, never Daniel, I’m kind of pleased I was named after an ‘oss, or more accurately a lovely playful foal.
Whenever I conduct a child blessing service, welcoming a new life into the world I say amongst many other things something like the following: “We take the opportunity to recognise this child by name. In this act we declare that the child is an individual, a unique and separate person with a dignity and life of their own. They come from us, but they are not ours. In giving them a name, we declare that we will respect them as themself, and give them the freedom to be themself.”
When someone recognises themselves in a new way I believe it ought to be done so similarly. If they change how they are known to the world, by name or pro-noun this should be recognised, blessed and celebrated also. I want to celebrate the diversity of all creation. I want to recognise everyone by their true name, bless them by their name as whole and holy.
When we name someone, or for that matter anything, we acknowledge their existence as separate from everything else that has a name. Yes, everything is interconnected, but also exists as itself. In naming we confer the dignity of autonomy while at the same time affirming its belonging with the rest of the named world. To name is to recognise, to acknowledge, to love, to make familiar. We name many things in life, not only our children. We give friends and those close to us “pet names” and “nick names”. I spent some time choosing Molly’s name. She is called Miss Molly Malone, although this has morphed into Molly Moo, Moo, Moo or just Miss Molly, Molly or Moo. Her actual pedigree name, the one given her at birth and registered with Kennel Club is actually “Kenzduo Spice of Life”. I have never called her that. It would be like calling me Daniel.
I have three friends all called John, we meet regularly. Obviously this can be confusing so they all have another name to help understand who we are referring to. They are known as “Welsh John”, “Tesco John “ and John the Chef”. In times gone by this is how surname’s were conferred upon people. I reckon it would be done to begin doing so again.
Molly had her first trip to the beach last Saturday. We went to one of my favourite places, named “Another Place” where on the beach you find those 100 identical cast iron figures staring out to sea, the creation of Anthony Gormley. They are of course in the seaside town of Crosby. It is a strange feeling walking round a place with your surname everywhere. This amuses me and to some degree pleases me also. I chuckle to myself every time I pass the sign reading “Greater Crosby”. By the way Molly had an absolute ball. She came home filthy and was worn out for about two days afterwards. It felt like a new blessing to her little life. I am sure we will go it again.
Last Tuesday I and many Unitarians attended the funeral of Martin West. It was held at his widow Jackie’s place of worship, Lymm United Reformed Church. Martin was an incredible man, lived quite a life, did so much for so many, as well as being incredibly successful professionally. He gave so much voluntarily also. Especially here at Dunham Road, where he was a beloved member and force for good, but also Queens road, the Manchester District and the national Unitarian movement, as well as so many other causes that were close to his heart. His daughter Angela gave a wonderful tribute to his life. One thing she mentioned was how much he did anonymously, behind the scenes for people and so many organisations. These things his name was not recognised for. This humbled me. It made me pause. It is kind of counter cultural, as we live in an age when names and faces are applied to everything. Anonymity, giving someone or something no name or label, is very rare these days.
It reminded me very much of the principles at the heart of 12 step Spirituality, in fellowships such as Alcoholics Anonymous. Personal anonymity is at the heart of their spirit. While their principles are promoted, their purpose, no names or faces are publicised. One of the founders of Alcoholics Anonymous even turned being named Man of the Year by Time Magazine, although he did enjoy telling friends this. He was only named, publicly at least, following his death. Again, this does seem to go against the grain, where celebrity and endorsements seem key to promoting anything. There is a power in the humility of anonymity. Not everything we do needs to bear our name. It can still be done in the name of love.
We all have names, and we all have identities, things that describe who we are. No doubt we have all had nicknames given to us too. Some will have been loving, welcoming and rejoicing, others the opposite. These are names of rejection and disconnection, they tell us that we do not belong here. There is no love in such names, they make some people the other, such names are dehumanising. I see and witness this everywhere. I am not going to name such names here, but I am sure we can all think of some. They are often powerful words used to exclude people and make them feel somehow less than welcome. Such words deny the inherent worth and dignity of people, they reduce them to lesser people, or they try to. I am sure we can all recall such words and name calling. We should call one another by names of love and not names of shame.
We do like to name things, to label things. It helps with identification, with belonging, particularly if you feel that you do not belong. The truth is though that our names and even our labels are only one small aspect of who and what we are. Although each of us is unique in our own right, every single one of us belong first and foremost to the family of life. Everyone has an inherent worth and dignity in the fact they exist at all. Any name we give another that rejects this is dehumanizing and destructive to this. Everyone of us is a sacred blessing to life. This is why the child welcoming, naming, christening, Baptism, whatever you want to call them services I conduct I name as a blessing; this is because I see each life’s potential as a blessing, and I wish to recognise this in the service. We are all sacred beings born into this world and anything that rejects this, any act of dehumanisation, of a persons human identity, is a rejection of this. We need to bless more and we do this when we recognise one another’s sacred humanity. This begins with their name and how they would like to be referred to. I really do not understand why people seem to get upset by individuals preferred pro-nouns. I say come as you are, exactly as you…I want to celebrate your human uniqueness, the diversity of all creation. We all have the divine within us. We are blessed by our names; we are whole and holy.
When we look at another, we must first recognise their sacred humanity. I see all ground as holy ground and all humanity as precious. We need to see all people as wholly and whole and worthy of dignity, first and foremost. All have inherent worth and dignity, we are all children of life and love. We need to see this first before anything else. All have a name and have been named, all are formed from the same blessed earth and blessed life and should be treated accordingly. We need to be careful what we name one another. Our role in this life is to love and to bless, to see all ground as holy ground and all as whole and holy. The are no unsacred places, there are only sacred and desecrated places, wrote Wendell Berry. It is the same with people. There are no unsacred people, there are only sacred and desecrated people. It is we who desecrate when we reject another’s sacred humanity. Our role is to bless, is to sanctify and once again shake off our shoes, for all ground is holy ground and all life is holy. Only God has no name, is beyond naming. That said I know how important it is to recognise the “I am” in everything. In me, in you and in everyone else too. Whatever name we are known as.
So, what’s in a name? Well maybe this is something to think about. Why are you called by your name? What do you think of your name? Would you consider changing it? Perhaps you have? If so, why? What other names, nouns and pro-nouns describe who you are? Do you live up to your name? How do we find better ways to recognise and celebrate everyone’s sacred uniqueness.
Me I’m happy I was named after an ‘oss, I’m just glad it wasn’t a horse with no name
Blessed be all our names; they are whole and holy.
Please find below a video devotion based on the material in this "blogspot"
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