Work, Rest and Play

I have been asked many times what it is that you were least prepared for, what surprised and surprises me the most as I became & continue to become a minister? The answer, I have come to realise, is that I am never not a minister. Once folk realise what you are, you are always a minister to them. I suppose this is why a journey into ministry it is known as formation & in my experience continual reformation as I keep on turning, or do I mean returning to Love. To minister literally means to serve and to do so humbly and with love. It is hard to not be a minister, to find rest from this work.

Ministers are human beings and they need to rest, something I am still learning to do. I have been feeling tired, deep down in the marrow of my bones, these last few weeks, particularly since the weekend. Last Friday, took so much out of me emotionally, spiritually, physically and mentally. As some of you know I travelled to Yorkshire to conduct the funeral of my ex step dad, the father of many of my brothers and sisters. There were many complex emotions for us all as we said our farewells to this figure that had dominated so many of our lives. I was there to hold us through this deep challenge. I did my job, with Sue’s support. It was the most insane service I have ever been involved with, not helped by some pretty basic errors made by the funeral directors. Lots went wrong, including those who were waiting at the club for the wake afterwards being unable to see the service on the link provided. We came through it together and as friends and family left one another there were many tears and the hope to see one another once again, when we can return to normality. There was deep love, between siblings and family, deep deep love and it was noticeable that the tears came as we said goodbye to one another. There were very few tears shed during the service.

I have noticed that the hardest thing for me in ministry is witnessing the suffering in those I care deeply about. It is the same with congregants as it is with family. I felt deep emotion too at the wedding I conducted for Rosie Arnold and Tim Wigan. Rosie is the daughter of Fiona and granddaughter of Thelma, members at Dunham Road. A family I know well. It was lovely to conduct the service, particularly to be able to connect to family all over the world. The best man was in Australia, but with us via Zoom. As lovely as it was it still took its toll emotionally. As the Sunday service did too. Maybe it is the times we are living through, the things we can do, in spite of the restrictions of the virus, maybe it is just where I am at personally. I do know that I have slept a lot these last few days, as I have felt a deep tiredness within me.

By the way I know I am not alone. We are all feeling the weariness of the pandemic. Not surprising really is it. Where do we find rest from it? Where can we find a bit more playfulness in the seriousness of the situation? Last Friday’s funeral was full of laughter, far more than I had written. There was a lot of laughter and playfulness afterwards too. It helped us all through a difficult time. Maybe that’s something we all need to search for, a little more playfulness might just help. Afterall they do say that laughter is the greatest medicine; after all there is a time for everything under the sun.

 One of the things I love about the poetry night I am hosting weekly on Zoom “Consolation, Sorrow and Joy” is that through it we are sharing so many wonderful emotions, including a great deal of laughter. Yes it is serious at times and at others utterly hilarious. There is a great deal of fun about it all. It has been so needed.

I am sure that we are all familiar with the old saying, “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.” This old adage has stood the test of time and not just for Jack, but for us all. Yes, we all need work, activities that give purpose and meaning to our lives, but we also need play. If you are really lucky you get to play a little in your work. I get some opportunity there. I also get so much joy from the people I get to share my work with and deep, deep love.

Play can at times be the best way to rest from the troubles and tiredness of life, it is also vital to creativity. I know when I am tired, and little lost in myself, I find it hard to be creative, playfulness is an important aspect of creativity. The great film director Alfred Hitchcock would halt production of a film when something felt stuck. He’d tell a story, that had nothing to do with the film they were making, he would distract the crew and break into their minds that were so fixated on the work. He would be playful with them, he would break up their seriousness that would allow them to return to the production with fresh ideas.

I was thinking of this on Tuesday morning as I was concerned about my day ahead and all the things I needed to do that day, not least write this sermon. As I did I found myself distracted by the little dog as she played with all and sundry and found myself laughing and loving her playfulness.

The spiritual life should include a sense of playfulness. We are not dour Puritans. Why who would we want to crush the joyful spirit out our humanity and faith? Playfulness can be found in the spiritual traditions. Taoists understand being in the flow, of being in harmony with life. The yin/yang symbol is a perfect example of balance. Harmony requires a balance of work and play.

In the Hindu tradition, the deity Krishna is young at heart, forever playing games with humans, especially wiling away his time with attractive young women. Flirting, romancing, and sexuality can be quite playful. But manipulation, mean-spiritedness, or destructive, abusive behavior, sexual or otherwise, is not play. True play celebrates life and brings fun and joy to its participants.

In the Sufi tradition of Islam, the holy fool Nasrudin shows us the value of play. Nasrudin’s foolishness teaches truth by coming at it indirectly. We need these examples of play now more than ever. We need them so as to guard against getting too wrapped up in the problems of our world that we forget to play, For play will help us to build the reserves we need to face those problems, to do the work we are here to do.

As Taoism teaches life needs to be balanced. Balance though is not something that is easy to achieve. I suspect it isn’t a constant, static, state of being. We live more like a seesaw constantly moving from one end to the other, trying to find that balanced state.

We also need to be in good humour. Are your “umeres”, as the ancient physicians use to call them, are all four in balance? How is your health, your physical, your emotional, your mental and your spiritual health? These four could well be our present day “umeres”.

A balanced life is considered a good life. We are told that we need to balance the books, in the home and in the community. The treasurer here at chapel has to ensure that they are balanced too. A balanced diet is vital to healthy living. Power needs to be balanced in the public sphere, too much power in any individual or even groups hand is dangerous. Balance is vital to performing physical activities. Most athletes are admired for their balance as much as for their strength and speed.

Balance is seen as vital by virtually all spiritual and philosophical traditions, extremes in any sense lead to danger and destruction. As Robert Fulghum advises “Be aware of wonder. Live a balanced life - learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.” The philosopher John Locke wrote “An excellent man, like precious metal, is in every way invariable; A villain, like the beams of a balance, is always varying, upwards and downwards.”

Aristotle proposed that the key to authentic happiness and not mere momentary satisfaction or pleasure arose from living a life of “Virtue” and that this could be achieved by the “Doctrine of the Golden Mean”, by living a life centred on a sort of dampened equilibrium. That virtue lays in avoiding excess. He saw courage as lying somewhere between cowardice and recklessness.

One of the great Greek myths illustrates this perfectly. Icarus was advised by Daedalus to fly somewhere between the sun and the sea, but he flew too close to the sun. Centuries later didn’t Goldilocks reject the porridge that was too hot and too cold for the one that was just right, she chose the middle way, thus following the virtuous life.

Now please don’t get me wrong I am not suggesting that we never rock the boat and must always live in the middle of everything. Remember balance is not a static thing. It is important to keep on stirring the porridge and to act out whatever our faith in life is. The key is to serve life and the harmony of all life in my view. The importance is to live humbly and to avoid the dangers of hubris that caused Icarus to burn and fall. We are here to fly, of course we are, just not too close to the sun.

The key to living in balance and harmony is about relationship with life, with each other, with ourselves and with God, another four modern day “Umeres” if you like.

Isn’t this what life is built upon, our relationships. I suspect above everything that this is the key. To ensure that our lives are in balance in these four aspects of our lives. That are relationship “Umeres” are inbalance. So how are your relationship “Umeres”? Are they imbalanced?

I need to think about the balance of these relationships as I live this life and my work. My work is vital to me, I know is some ways it never ends, you never stop being a minister. I am sure that the work we are all engaged in, whatever that might be is vital to all of us. That said our work should never be the measure of the value of who we are. Who we be in the world is what really matters. We are after all human beings and not merely human doings. It is not what we do but how we are, what we be, that speaks the most. We must never lose the sense of how vital we are to one another, as I was reminded last Friday as I spent time with people I love oh so dearly, as we helped one another in consolation sorrow, and joy. Isn’t this what love is all about?

So, let us never forget what we be, but let us do so with a lightness of spirit and lightness of being. For we need the lightness of being that will help us face up to the realities of life. That will help us to play at times, to sing and to dance, to laugh and to cry.

We need this lightness of being so that we can fulfil our task to do the work that needs to be done in our homes, our families, our communities and our word. To bring to life the healing that is needed.

Lightness of being is required to do the work that needs to be done in this our shared world.

We need lightness of being and to play sometimes in order to maintain our emotional, spiritual, mental and physical well-being, to balance our umeres, to be in good humour so that we can do the work that needs to be done.

I invite us to whistle while we work. Come play with me.

 

Amen